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News & ArtsFriday, April 24, 2009
Homo From Away
Posted by Paul Constant on Fri, Apr 24, 2009 at 12:55 PM
9 protesters showed up in Bangor to protest a gay marriage bill that has been proposed in the Maine legislature.
All 9 of them were from Pennsylvania. If you're at all familiar with my home state, you'll know that to a Mainer, the greatest sin you can be guilty of is not being from Maine. Anyone born anywhere else is automatically "from away," and deserving of quiet scorn. This is a huge strategic mistake for the anti-gay-marriage folks: If people From Away are going to be against gay marriage, Mainers will likely be for it just to piss the out-of-towners off.
Still and all, the protesters could have fucked up worse. They could've sent some Massholes to do the protest instead.
3
@2, but Mainers really, really don't like Massholes, which is the point. Unless they're spending money in their lobster restaurants, and even then, it's a bare tolerance.
This is funny. Remember when Howard Dean sent a legion of California Hippies to Iowa in '04? (Yes, I know they weren't all hippies, or Californians, but to an Iowan it was a distinction without a difference).
This is funny. Remember when Howard Dean sent a legion of California Hippies to Iowa in '04? (Yes, I know they weren't all hippies, or Californians, but to an Iowan it was a distinction without a difference).
4
That's funny!
I also have heard that even if you DO live in Maine, Mainers are particular about people who were or were not actually born there, or moved away and came back, etc. True?
I've never been to Maine and know nothing about it other than Gov. Snowe, The Killer Angels, Stephen King, and that ship that blew up.
I also have heard that even if you DO live in Maine, Mainers are particular about people who were or were not actually born there, or moved away and came back, etc. True?
I've never been to Maine and know nothing about it other than Gov. Snowe, The Killer Angels, Stephen King, and that ship that blew up.
5
We used to own an island in Maine (French House Island) but were from Pennsylvania, so I totally know what you mean. Was great seeing Thurman and others as "Lobster Consultants" for some of the movies filmed in Maine ...
Even up in BC on the lakes, people refer to those who don't live there year round as Summer People.
Even up in BC on the lakes, people refer to those who don't live there year round as Summer People.
6
@2: Yeah, I should've been clearer on that: Coming from Anywhere Else is less of a sin than coming from Massachusetts,
@4: It's true. Some of my family stopped talking to me when I left the state. I'm the only one who doesn't live in Maine.
@4: It's true. Some of my family stopped talking to me when I left the state. I'm the only one who doesn't live in Maine.
7
Freakin' New Englanders. Everyone in the entire region needs a bran muffin. Maybe we can fit a program to hand 'em out in the stimulus package somewhere.
9
Very funny. But, also, some good advice in there -- Massachusetts folks should probably stay out of the Maine debate, if they know what's good for the cause...
My dad's family has lived in Maine for generations. My parents live there half of the year now (in the town where his grandparents, parents, etc. lived). But, even with all the family history, my parents aren't viewed by the locals as much different than the weekenders from MA. When my cousin moved back to the town, it took something like 5 years for people to view her as a local again....
My dad's family has lived in Maine for generations. My parents live there half of the year now (in the town where his grandparents, parents, etc. lived). But, even with all the family history, my parents aren't viewed by the locals as much different than the weekenders from MA. When my cousin moved back to the town, it took something like 5 years for people to view her as a local again....
10
I've lived in the West Sound too long...
"9 protesters showed up in Bangor to protest a gay marriage bill that has been proposed in the Maine legislature."
Now, why would a small group of people come to a submarine base in Kitsap County to protest a gay-rights movement on the other side of the country?
...
Oh. ~That~ Bangor!
*headdesk*
*headdesk*
*headdesk*
"9 protesters showed up in Bangor to protest a gay marriage bill that has been proposed in the Maine legislature."
Now, why would a small group of people come to a submarine base in Kitsap County to protest a gay-rights movement on the other side of the country?
...
Oh. ~That~ Bangor!
*headdesk*
*headdesk*
*headdesk*
11
Hey Paul, I'm from Alaska, where we routinely capitalize the o in "Outsiders" to signify their otherness. Nothing like living in a protrusion of America to make one feel special from the rest.
12
Sorry, @7, but the official muffin of Massachusetts is the Corn (say KAAWN) muffin - closely followed in the public's heart by the blueberry (say BLOObery). I don't know about Maine, but the Massholes are not likely to be supping on your recommended bran muffin any time soon.
14
@13: Either is correct. Mainiac is when you're feeling frisky or clever, I think. And there's some kind of law that when you open a business, it has to be "Mainely...[insert type of business.]" I swear there are thirty thousand "Mainely Hair" salons in Maine.
16
Well, we Massholes (current and former) only go to Maine for lobstah and L.L. Bean's. And once you get up neah Banguh the natives are pretty damn scary.
17
@Will Me too (from Connecticut)
@Paul Are these people from Philadelphia? PAers I've known are generally sharp, unlike the violently dangerous Philadelphians--they booed Santa Claus, you know.
@Paul Are these people from Philadelphia? PAers I've known are generally sharp, unlike the violently dangerous Philadelphians--they booed Santa Claus, you know.
19
I always receive a warm welcome when I return to my hometown in Maine, but I did move back there temporarily two summers ago, so maybe that bought me some more Maine Cred. I think young people are much more open to "outsiders," mostly because most of them wish they lived somewhere else, too.
20
No matter how the Mainiacs hate us Massholes, it's nothing compared to how much scorn we drop on Rhode Islanders. Those folks are like the red-headed retarded stepchildren of New England.
22
I lived in Maine for about a year, but down in Portland which is metropolitan...for Maine. People were always nice in a New Englandy way, which means authentically and without talking too much.
The Mainiacs have always been a little touched. The long winters do something to a young child.
The Mainiacs have always been a little touched. The long winters do something to a young child.
23
After 47 years in the PNM I moved back to Maine and all I got was:
1. Wheah ya bin?
2. Why'd ya cum back?
3. Ya cahn't make any money heah.
1. Wheah ya bin?
2. Why'd ya cum back?
3. Ya cahn't make any money heah.
27
I fucking love New England. Best region in the country and only a few years until the whole thing has equal marriage.
28
@18 Joe -- Bangor is pronounced "bang-gor" -- both syllables get equal weight.
It means the jokes aren't really as funny as they otherwise would be:
"I took the wife to central Maine last weekend."
"Banger?"
"No, she said she had a headache."
It means the jokes aren't really as funny as they otherwise would be:
"I took the wife to central Maine last weekend."
"Banger?"
"No, she said she had a headache."
29
@28: Actually, it's Bang-gaw. But you're right about both syllables getting equal weight. At least that's the way those old Bert and I records pronounced it.
I miss New England. I'm a former Masshole who worked in Old Orchard Beach one summer while in college. Old Orchard Beach, of course, is really part of Quebec (Montreal's Coney Island), but Maine is nearby.
I miss New England. I'm a former Masshole who worked in Old Orchard Beach one summer while in college. Old Orchard Beach, of course, is really part of Quebec (Montreal's Coney Island), but Maine is nearby.
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