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Thursday, April 23, 2009

Religion At Last! A Reason For the Internet!

Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Apr 23, 2009 at 2:39 PM

Houston Belief has an interview with Gary Thomas, a reverend who regularly performs exorcisms:

THe Rev. Gary Thomas knew was dealing with a man who’s life was falling apart.

The man was a scientist, and a skeptic about supernatural evil. So is Thomas, a modern-day exorcist.

The subject of demonic possession is still controversial, as illustrated by the media storm that greeted the revised exorcism rite 10 years ago. While it warned exorcists not to confuse possession with mental illness, it also affirmed ancient teachings about spiritual warfare.

Truth is, Thomas said, the events of the recent Holy Week make no sense without real demons, real temptations and a real hell.

But you don't have to have a real exorcist come to you to determine if you've been possessed: Pastor Bob Larson ("Doing what Jesus did") has set up a web quiz to discover if you have a demon living inside you. I recommend taking this very important test, especially if you have been "incested," which is one of the 21 criteria for possession.

(Thanks to Slog Tipper Rich for the Demon Test.)

Comments (19) RSS

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I thought everyone knew that the only way to get the demons out is through exposure to Angus Young guitar solos.

Posted by Fnarf on April 23, 2009 at 2:43 PM

I started the test, and then gave up when I realized I was most certainly going to come out Possession POZ.

Posted by mojo mojito on April 23, 2009 at 2:46 PM

This explains so much.

Posted by LeslieC on April 23, 2009 at 2:47 PM

Yeah... who's laughing at Bobby Jindal NOW, motherfuckers?!?!

Posted by Ackham on April 23, 2009 at 2:51 PM

My test score is 23
I am at moderate risk for demonic oppression/possession.

Posted by Superfrankenstein on April 23, 2009 at 2:52 PM

Whew! With a score of 5, I am at low risk for demonic oppression/possession. That was a close one.

Posted by Dexter on April 23, 2009 at 2:53 PM

I got 49...after marking all traits as "currently"...the perfectionist/possessed side of me wonders which Devil I gotta blow around here to get a 50?!!?!

Posted by Devil in Dis Guy on April 23, 2009 at 2:56 PM

I was surprised I was at low risk for demonic possession what with all of my Satan worshiping and baby sacrificing. Good to know though, I feel much better about things now.

Posted by Queen of Sleaze on April 23, 2009 at 2:57 PM

Damn I am at a 27, so just moderate risk of being taken over by something THAT DOESN'T FUCKING EXIST!!!

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on April 23, 2009 at 2:59 PM

Yeah, I am at a low risk with only 19. I guess I can ignore the voices now!

Posted by Juli on April 23, 2009 at 3:14 PM

Bob Larson is the wackjob king of wackjobs. Did you ever see his old TV program on the God channel? They only showed it really late at night. It was like "Crossing Over With John Edward", but with demon possession. He would totally interview them, talk show style, while they were in mid-possession. Impossible to watch if you weren't stoned out of your gourd.

Posted by Hernandez on April 23, 2009 at 3:16 PM

Now I've got the Course of Empire song "Infested!" in my head, only it's "Incested!"

"Look Darwin straight in the eye-
He says 'Evolve or die.'
...
This planet... INCESTED!
This planet is... INCESTED!
America... INCESTED!"

Thanks, Reverend Gary.

Posted by Big Sven on April 23, 2009 at 3:16 PM

was this quiz compiled by a 6th grader? "have you had significant trauma that you haven't recovered from yet?" answer: in my past? what? why don't you make a quiz that has questions that make fucking sense.

i scored 18, apparently satan doesn't think i'm very tasty.

Posted by douglas on April 23, 2009 at 3:47 PM

scored a 26. moderate risk for demonic oppression/possession. what does being raped/incested/molested have to do with demon possession? after giving the score it has an explanation to some of the questions but not that one. is he saying rapists seek out the demon possessed or that people who are raped want to be raped and invite it because they are demon possessed? that is seriously messed up.

Posted by datajunkie on April 23, 2009 at 4:08 PM

My friend and I watched The Exorcist on Easter Sunday. Jesus was pissed!

Posted by Bub on April 23, 2009 at 4:40 PM

dealing with a man who’s life was falling apart

"who's life"? Flipping amateur journalists.

Posted by ProJo on April 23, 2009 at 4:45 PM

35: high risk for me! I like that this guy admits that there's a big difference between mental illness and "possession", but I think something like this that is available on the internet is just going to make some people feel okay being "victims", which lets them avoid responsibility for their life and actions. Also, a few of the questions come a little close to "blame the victim" territory for me; so, if I was abused/raped/"incested", I'm damaged forevars? Come on.

Posted by MissFoxtrot on April 23, 2009 at 4:54 PM

i scored a 9: low risk. shows what they know.

Posted by valkyrie on April 23, 2009 at 5:35 PM

I scored 5 so I'm at low risk for demonic possession. Whew! Surely that site was a joke. Right? I mean, that picture was so over the top it must be satire. Right?

Posted by sam on April 24, 2009 at 7:09 AM