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Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Michael Jackson's Brain Museum, Part Deux

Posted by on Sun, Apr 19, 2009 at 12:58 PM

You asked for more pictures! Take your medicine, people!


I forgot to mention the number of lifesize MJ replicas that MJ owns—in various states of skin tone and melting face. THE NUMBER IS LARGE. Does he talk to himselves around the house? Does he hug himselves?

The fleet: Tiny fire trucks, bumper cars with nothing to bump, some sort of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride situation, one random van...
Font explosion.
edcf/1240168678-dscn2820.jpg you feel welcome?
The second in MJ's poetic exploration of the different circumstances under which babies smile. (Finally someone's getting to the bottom of that.)
AND SOMEONE KISSED IT. In case you're not familiar with kissing, it's when you PUT YOUR HUMAN MOUTH RIGHT ON THERE FOR AN INTIMATE SQUISH. Fuck.
Aerial view.
You might think that this is the cape of Prince-the-little-purple-man, but it's actually the cape of "Prince Naseem Hamed, World Champion." Don't get confused. Also, MJ in happier times.
This tiny-but-still-big castle is just annoying because what the snatch do you DO with it!?
And wait—what's that hanging on the wall behind the castle? (Maybe a good PR move, when you're facing child-poking allegations, would be to NOT collect artwork depicting yourself as the literal pied piper. You're not doing yourself any favors, is all I'm saying.)
I'm a real boy!
The moment when we met this fake gentleman was the moment when the fun and games officially stopped. Dude is not fucking around with the crazy.
There was lots of this kind of stuff.
Men Are from Mars, Terrifying Cigar-Chomping Grannies Are from Fucking Hades.
And finally, I went ahead and transcribed the poem that's painted on the Excalibur Triptych.

I am the thinker, the thinking,
the thought
I am the seeker, the seeking,
the sought
I am the dewdrop, the sunshine,
the storm
I am the phenomenon, the field,
the form
I am the desert, the ocean,
the sky
I am the Primeval Self
in you and I

Michael Jackson

This poem, more than anything else in the whole goddamn collection, cements my belief that we are dealing with a madman. A grandiose, narcissistic, deeply wounded crazyperson. Everything else in the collection—even this painting minus the poem—could, with oceans of generosity, be chalked up to irony or kitsch or boredom. BUT THIS POEM, IN WHICH MICHAEL JACKSON DECLARES HIMSELF TO BE "THE PRIMEVAL SELF IN YOU AND I," MIGHT AS WELL BE CARVED INTO CHARLES MANSON'S FOREHEAD. As my father would say, he should be put in a rubber room. Official diagnosis. Good day.


Comments (39) RSS

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The Messiah has returned, and has not bothered to inform us!
Posted by STJA on April 19, 2009 at 1:08 PM · Report this
I think I'll sell everything I own and go worship Him. Bing, bong, bing.
Posted by Fnarf on April 19, 2009 at 1:20 PM · Report this
You know I'm bad I'm bad... Charmooooooon!
Posted by Noodles on April 19, 2009 at 1:23 PM · Report this
"There was lots of this kind of stuff." There were lots of people in frozen prisons from Empire Strikes Back?
Posted by Matt from Denver on April 19, 2009 at 1:31 PM · Report this
If anyone is curious as to how this happens to a human being (and by "this" I mean "someone becomes a collector of terrifying expensive garbage intended for children"), I encourage you all to view The Jacksons - An American Dream. This will answer the unanswerable questions.
Posted by Meags on April 19, 2009 at 1:41 PM · Report this
life-size michael jackson?
Posted by ...or life-size black phil spector? on April 19, 2009 at 1:52 PM · Report this
You raise an interesting point there, @6: When does Phil Spector's shit go up for sale? Because I'd really like to see some of that too.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on April 19, 2009 at 2:08 PM · Report this
Woof. Thank you for making the absolute best of the moment before this was all yanked off the market. Otherwise we might not have known of some of this until he was dead. This chance to let this all settle in as context while MJ continues to stumble through life is fucking priceless. Hooray for you!
Posted by gloomy gus on April 19, 2009 at 2:11 PM · Report this
I want everything in here plus his stash of percs.
Posted by Bubs on April 19, 2009 at 2:21 PM · Report this
Maybe it's the Vincent Price in me, but I looked at the first photo and thought "Michael Jackson had Miles Davis' body stuffed and on display in his house???"
Posted by pg on April 19, 2009 at 2:36 PM · Report this
Dude bought Frozen Solo! I want it! Please go ahead with the auction, Michael Jackson!
Posted by Bub on April 19, 2009 at 2:53 PM · Report this
You should add a link to the other crazy pictures for those, like me, who missed it.
Posted by I'm 85 years old on April 19, 2009 at 2:56 PM · Report this
The notion of him engaging in elaborate tea parties with his stable of well dressed mannequins is probably not that far off from the truth...
Posted by sgiffy on April 19, 2009 at 2:58 PM · Report this
We are all Michael.
Posted by Jude Fawley on April 19, 2009 at 3:11 PM · Report this
everything in that collection is crazy, save one: the frozen Solo. Who wouldn't want that? That's the one spec of sanity.
You might look at one of the more "normal" cars in the vehicle collection and think that normal, but when you think of the vehicle collection as a whole, it is crazy. And everything else: crazy.
But Han Solo? Sheesh, every normal kid from the '80s and beyond would want that.

Or does that make me crazy that I think that?
Posted by onion on April 19, 2009 at 4:22 PM · Report this
He seems nice.
Posted by Mld on April 19, 2009 at 4:25 PM · Report this
He needed more Thorazine in his diet...or something
Posted by dskaugrud on April 19, 2009 at 4:26 PM · Report this
Out of all these photos the image I can't seem to get out of my mind is the one of that fleet of assorted vehicles...

What a sad picture of too-much-money-on-your-hands-back-in-the-80s - and how weirdly normal a lot of them look (in an oh-so-not-normal way), kind of like those special socks from the first set of photos that someone commented on.
Posted by jw on April 19, 2009 at 4:31 PM · Report this
85yo @12: "You should add a link to the other crazy pictures for those, like me, who missed it."

Here you go. Enjoy!
Posted by Mike on April 19, 2009 at 4:36 PM · Report this
I would have taken a marker and changed it to "I am the Primeval Self
in you and me."
Posted by elenchos on April 19, 2009 at 5:19 PM · Report this
This all reminds me of the first time Michael Jackson creeped the fuck out of me, the Martin Bashir documentary where we got a tour of all this crazy shit by Michael himself. Still scary now, but in a... fun way, right? Yikes
Posted by Japandy on April 19, 2009 at 7:00 PM · Report this
Do you think he asked specifically for these wax figures, like with a team of designers? Was he like, "Ok, let's make her 60+, short, your know 3 or 4 curlers and as realistic as possible... carve her mouth so it gives the impression of not having teeth and yeah, throw a cigar and a pink robe on her... let's create the image that she hasn't gotten out of that robe in years". Or is there some creepy wax figure store where I can look through a catalogue?
Posted by Andy on April 19, 2009 at 7:07 PM · Report this
imagine if his jehovah's witness dad had said when michael was 13, "michael, i know you're gay and it's fine with me. be yourself". how much of this would have happened?
Posted by Max Solomon on April 19, 2009 at 7:21 PM · Report this
@ #11 & #22,

I can't believe I actually know this, but there are some companies in Japan that make life-size figurines of just about anything (usually manga or anime characters). At one time you could actually order one of those "Han Solo in carbonite" off the shelf. Sadly, they are no longer in production (limited edition run), but you can still pick one up on e-bay every so often for $3-5,000.…
Posted by Y.F. on April 19, 2009 at 7:52 PM · Report this
I can feel Michael deep inside of me.

Posted by violet_dagrinder on April 19, 2009 at 8:37 PM · Report this
Amazing reportage, Lindy. I went myself this afternoon, and Lindy isn't bullshiting. Here's my contribution to the collection: the animatronic crying baby on the floor amidst the foreign Disney posters and MJ/children portraits. I would say this was the creepiest thing I saw there, but that wouldn't be fair TO EVERYTHING ELSE I SAW:…
Posted by RC on April 19, 2009 at 8:49 PM · Report this

Antiques Roadshow should get really interesting say 15, 20 years from now...

Posted by Blue Glass on April 19, 2009 at 9:25 PM · Report this
I swear I'd sell my left foot for that mini rolls golf cart with the airbrush MJ peter pan painting on the hood. That's one bitchin' way to get to and from the bar.
Posted by Super Jesse on April 19, 2009 at 9:36 PM · Report this
in case anyone's wondering where/how he decides to get this stuff, here's a little sneak-peek...…
Posted by jw on April 19, 2009 at 10:22 PM · Report this
Dick Cheney in the pink bathrobe?
Posted by Libby on April 19, 2009 at 11:10 PM · Report this
You know, its the excaliber thing that gave me the shivers in the original SLOG posting, and seeing the poem just makes it squickier.
Posted by W2M on April 19, 2009 at 11:58 PM · Report this
He is deep fried in his crazy.......
Posted by sfmike64 on April 19, 2009 at 11:59 PM · Report this
It seems he could sell 99% of this stuff and still have enough cool/creepy stuff to keep him happy forever, if he were sane.
Posted by Propaniac on April 20, 2009 at 9:41 AM · Report this
um ... you guys to realize the "art" work - representations of michael in one form or another - was not all commissioned by michael. it is clear that a lot of that stuff was created by fans and given to him. i know he shopped crazy and decorated crazy - but some of the items pictured are unfair because he kept things people gave him. no doubt, man is an assorted mix of all kinds of nuts, but fair is fair.

also - imagine looking in the mirror everyday and seeing the face of the man you fear/hate the most. i truly believe that the extreme plastic surgery has all been about getting Joe out of his mirror. if you listen to his music, all you need to know about him is there.

i've always loved michael as an artist. as a human being - he is who he is because he is who he is. the more religious the up bringing, the less someone can take idolatry - particularly if they themselves have become an idol. they set about destroying the idol. michael, elvis, whitney. the beatles had four to spread all the crazy around - these people were alone.
Posted by just sayin' on April 20, 2009 at 10:03 AM · Report this
norma desmond.
Posted by reverend dr dj riz on April 20, 2009 at 10:45 AM · Report this
The collection in its totality makes me want to run howling into the wilderness, living for decades as an anchorite, until I've gone so far out one side of insanity that I come back out on the normal side again.

Why, yes, I do have a hallucinatory migraine right now. Why do you ask?
Posted by Geni on April 20, 2009 at 12:28 PM · Report this
That poem says alot....Michael Jackson has awoken to the self - realization of himself and the connection to god and all of us. Don't you get it? there is only one god creator but personalfied in all of us that seems many.

I AM! in you and i. Wake up to who you are.

Stop judging what you dont understand, MJ is vibrating on a higher and lighter vibration and when he moves he looks like he is flowing with the natural rythem of nature. He is not rigid in his movement at all, he looks like he is floating. Sounds crazy? yet true...
Posted by Kim on April 25, 2009 at 6:59 AM · Report this
Thank you Kim. Someone gets it. Michael has in fact come to that realization, which is available to all of us. Though some of us are still too egotistical, such as this writer, to understand it.
Posted by tad on May 7, 2009 at 3:45 PM · Report this
oh & none of you ever liked a super hero or star wars or an athlete???? ok???!!!! if you had the money u would collect just as many things. this is what he chose to get ride of ... let's not forget. I would like nothing more then to pass judgement on your mediocre life's but well, I'm not you.
Posted by jazmin on July 26, 2009 at 11:48 PM · Report this

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