Friday, April 17, 2009
Hetero Toilet Sex
Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Apr 17, 2009 at 1:53 PM
What in the hell is wrong with straight people?
The parents of two young girls say their daughters walked into a downtown restaurant bathroom and saw four people having sex. Their parents are so disturbed, they want all parents to be aware. "They saw two women servicing two men in the restroom," Robert Schumann says. "Eleven years old is still not old enough to learn about such things as that."
Agreed.
But as this incident took place at a Taco Bell, well, the parents of the two young girls could at least salvage a teaching moment from the experience: Turns out there actually is something decent to eat at Taco Bell. It's just not served at the counter. And for the record, WNDU: to describe a Taco Bell franchise as a "restaurant" is to dignify filth and perversity—and I'm not talking about the blowjobs. Taco Bell is a fast-food outlet. (Thanks to Slog tipper Dave.)
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1
I expect to see undercover agents patrolling this bathroom to catch other straight perverts and make sure the Taco Bell bathroom is family friendly.
3
Next they are going to be surprised about all the anonymous gay sex that occurs at the Egyptian Theater. Geez - go back to Issaquah and stop hatin'.
4
Yeah. Geez. Straight people. Then again visit the bathroom at the Boston Public Library next time you're out here. You won't need the foot tapping code either. There will be people practically barging into the stall with you.
6
So - one time I was at Volunteer Park and I thought I'd check out the cruisy bathroom behind SAM. It was probably about 2pm on a weekend. I headed down the stairs and right as I crossed the threshold of the door and looked up I saw a guy bent over with his face planted into the tile wall partition to the right of the doorway with one guy behind him and a gang of other guys around them both. It was so surreal and cuckoo I totally cracked up and had to head out.
8
People are just loosing their minds literally I know I wouldn't want any of my kids to walk in a place where people are having sex of any kind, straight or any thing else. Public restrooms are not for that, installing locks like they're doing seems to be the most appropriate action to take even if it's to late for that poor 11 year old who has suffer this irreparable harm to her innocence. I just hope that they also filed charges against those two nitwits and that they're branded as sexual offenders. Sexual behavior is something completely on the realm of adults and if they cannot use it prudently then they should pay the consequences.
9
I agree, little girls should not have had to see that.
It kinda gives a new meaning to Taco Bell's "Fourth Meal" commercials.
I can understand having sex in a bathroom, but not the Taco Bell part of the equation.
It kinda gives a new meaning to Taco Bell's "Fourth Meal" commercials.
I can understand having sex in a bathroom, but not the Taco Bell part of the equation.
10
Savage, you are an eternal idiot. It may come as a surprise to you, but not every fucking thing that happens in the world is a slight against homosexuality. You've got tunnel vision in the worst possible way. It's actually pretty insulting how your definition of people begins and ends with where they put their dick. You're so shallow and useless.
12
Really? VERY often? I live in the gayest part of a gayass liberal city but outside of KNOWN sex trysting places (Volunteer Park/the Arboretum/upstairs at a certain bar) I've only seen ONE act of public sex and it was HETERO and it was across the street from The Stranger offices....hmmmm, wonder what that means?
and, I may have to move to South Bend...sounds like a fun place.
South Bend police say public sex happens very often and in many places. They say they’ve gotten calls from this Taco Bell before, as well as other fast food restaurants, bars, cars, parks and almost any public place. But police say by the time they arrive, those having sex are either gone or not committing the act anymore.
Really? VERY often? I live in the gayest part of a gayass liberal city but outside of KNOWN sex trysting places (Volunteer Park/the Arboretum/upstairs at a certain bar) I've only seen ONE act of public sex and it was HETERO and it was across the street from The Stranger offices....hmmmm, wonder what that means?
and, I may have to move to South Bend...sounds like a fun place.
14
Wait a minute. Is there anybody out there who hasn't ever had sex in a public bathroom? (Oops - sorry Loveschild. Hmm, maybe that's part of your problem.)
15
@8:
Oh for Pete's sake woman! No, she should not have seen that. Yes, they should have taken better precautions with their sex. Indeed, hooking up for a foursome at the Taco Bell is, well, not how I'd spend my Saturday night. But irreparable harm??? It's like a toddler falling down -- make a big deal and it is a big deal. Get all freaked out and tell the girl that she's witnessed a horrible thing and that she's tainted and she'll believe you. Have a frank talk with the girl, explain what she saw and that it's inappropriate to do that in a public restroom (without taking precautions) and she'll be just fine -- not that big a deal (and she'll have a hilarious story to share at school the next day).
I pity you your repression.
that poor 11 year old who has suffer this irreparable harm to her innocence
Oh for Pete's sake woman! No, she should not have seen that. Yes, they should have taken better precautions with their sex. Indeed, hooking up for a foursome at the Taco Bell is, well, not how I'd spend my Saturday night. But irreparable harm??? It's like a toddler falling down -- make a big deal and it is a big deal. Get all freaked out and tell the girl that she's witnessed a horrible thing and that she's tainted and she'll believe you. Have a frank talk with the girl, explain what she saw and that it's inappropriate to do that in a public restroom (without taking precautions) and she'll be just fine -- not that big a deal (and she'll have a hilarious story to share at school the next day).
I pity you your repression.
17
9 You know what Kim, I'm happy that you and I see eye to eye on something for once. I have to admit I use to think you where very careless almost reckless in your views but at least in cases like this I see you're not so I apologize to you for having thought of you in that way. I know we will disagree in the future given your other views but at least for now it seems you're a very caring mom, good for you.
18
When IS old enough to learn about "that?"
Seriously.
Maybe 11 is too young. Or... maybe the kids had already seen stuff like that on tv or movies or magazines or grafitti?
My guess as to when the parents will teach their daughters about sex: Never. The kids will probably learn all about sex from the first boys that fuck them.
And blowjobs? Are blowjobs something parents should ever bring up to kids during a sex ed talk? I'm guessing these girls will probably learn all about blowjobs at the same time they learn about sex from their first "boyfriends" too.
Just sayin... keep those heads in the sand, parents! Keep pretending if you don't talk about it, it'll never happen!
Seriously.
Maybe 11 is too young. Or... maybe the kids had already seen stuff like that on tv or movies or magazines or grafitti?
My guess as to when the parents will teach their daughters about sex: Never. The kids will probably learn all about sex from the first boys that fuck them.
And blowjobs? Are blowjobs something parents should ever bring up to kids during a sex ed talk? I'm guessing these girls will probably learn all about blowjobs at the same time they learn about sex from their first "boyfriends" too.
Just sayin... keep those heads in the sand, parents! Keep pretending if you don't talk about it, it'll never happen!
19
Mr. Savage, as Supreme Editorial Director of the Stranger empire, are you aware that your own Food Section constantly directs readers to eat at positively nasty burrito wagons and questionable purveyors of freaking raw beef, and just plain yucky ("meat icing", thanks ECB!) foie gras? And little old Taco Bell grosses you out?
20
While I agree that eleven is too young to walk into a bathroom and catch people having sex, I don't agree that it is too young to know that people do those things. I hope the parents used it as a teaching opportunity to have a frank, open conversation with their daughters about sex and sexual behavior and appropriateness. Maybe our teen pregnancy rates and STD rates would be lower if people were not afraid to have these conversations and would quit treating sex like it was something shameful and dirty. Seriously, we need to get with the program! And I agree, anyone who has sex in a Taco Bell bathroom during business hours should get into lots and lots of trouble. What a bunch of pervs.
21
Next thing you know these straight people will want special rights and even demand to be married!
22
#3 - wow I thought I was the only person to hook up at the Egyptian. Got a HJ from somebody I met a Bills of Broadway. Plasted on the seat next to me. I felt bad that somebody that worked there would have to clean it up. BTW - Goonies was awesome to see in the theater again.
24
15 She's an eleven year old, she shouldn't be seeing or hearing about copulation or worst what these four mules were doing in a public restroom.
What is it with some of you who cannot comprehend that there's a freaking time for everything and that sex is not a public thing.
That is not 'repression' that is using one's common sense. I bet every single person here who thinks like you does not children of their own, I mean there's no other explanation for such stupidity.
What is it with some of you who cannot comprehend that there's a freaking time for everything and that sex is not a public thing.
That is not 'repression' that is using one's common sense. I bet every single person here who thinks like you does not children of their own, I mean there's no other explanation for such stupidity.
25
Um, given how the article's worded, I don't think these kids saw anything.
So, they were in the bathroom while other people (in a stall) were having sex. That's COMPLETELY different.
And sorry, these parents are so disturbed that they want other parents to be aware? Of what, exactly? That sometimes people have sex in public places? That occasionally restrooms are used for reproductive practices?
That said, South Bend is... a hole. This doesn't surprise me in the least, frankly.
The parents of two young girls say their daughters walked into a downtown restaurant bathroom and saw four people having sex. Their parents are so disturbed, they want all parents to be aware.
"They saw two women servicing two men in the restroom," Robert Schumann says. "Eleven years old is still not old enough to learn about such things as that."
"My 11-year-old asked me, 'How come two women were coming out of the bathroom and why were two guys in there?’ Melissa Schumann, the girls’ mother, says. ‘And they were making funny noises.'"
So, they were in the bathroom while other people (in a stall) were having sex. That's COMPLETELY different.
And sorry, these parents are so disturbed that they want other parents to be aware? Of what, exactly? That sometimes people have sex in public places? That occasionally restrooms are used for reproductive practices?
That said, South Bend is... a hole. This doesn't surprise me in the least, frankly.
26
Awww!Awww@22!! Was that a couple of years ago? I took my kids to see the Goonies at the Egyptian!
27
A quirky, somewhat unsettling, but genuinely funny tale.
Your commentary on it, making it an issue of sexuality, was shallow and stupid.
It's snark like that that makes me place less value on your works where you're trying to preach tolerance and equality.
Your commentary on it, making it an issue of sexuality, was shallow and stupid.
It's snark like that that makes me place less value on your works where you're trying to preach tolerance and equality.
28
So it's not a "restaurant" unless it serves food you approve of, Dan? You go in, you order food, you sit down at a table (if you like) and you eat. Sounds like a restaurant to me.
Taco Bells are a whole lot cleaner than three-quarters of the "restaurants" you might encounter in the International District.
Once again you come off sounding like a pretentious queen.
Taco Bells are a whole lot cleaner than three-quarters of the "restaurants" you might encounter in the International District.
Once again you come off sounding like a pretentious queen.
29
@13 - the main one, in Copley Square. Back in the 80's it was hard to get in & out of that restroom WITHOUT having sex.
...or so I've heard.
...or so I've heard.
31
Okay, I am going to go out on a limb here. I, shouldn't speak for Savage, but I think that this post is more about his quirky humor. I think his issue may be that they chose to have sex in a Taco Bell bathroom and that they didn't have the sense to lock or bar the door.
That and he doesn't think 11 year olds should be exposed to individuals having sex in a bathroom. Plus, he disagrees with Taco Bell being refered to as a restaurant.
If I'm wrong he can inform me.
That and he doesn't think 11 year olds should be exposed to individuals having sex in a bathroom. Plus, he disagrees with Taco Bell being refered to as a restaurant.
If I'm wrong he can inform me.
33
My 11 year old daughter would understand what was going on, and just quietly leave the room. She would find it freaky, but no harm would be done. It would be an entirely different story if some weirdo came up and licked her face, though.
Urgutha, sometimes you write great stuff. So because of that, all I'm going to say about @18 is: you are very, very wrong.
Urgutha, sometimes you write great stuff. So because of that, all I'm going to say about @18 is: you are very, very wrong.
34
Okay, I'm a mom, and I have a young daughter, and no, I wouldn't want her to walk in on this, but I wouldn't think her innocence was damaged if she had. I'd explain it to her, because if she's at all disturbed, she will feel better once her questions are answered.
Sex in public is not new, and it's kinda hot, and I wish I had tried it out when I was younger. It's unfortunate that these people were doing this in the establishment, but I'm not surprised as fast food joints in downtown areas always tend to be seedy. I wouldn't let my child go into one of those washrooms alone.
And the correct time to teach them about sex. When they ask. And don't use those dumb words like hoo-hoo and wee-wee. My daughter, who is 7, knows and understands what a penis is, what a vagina is, and because she asked me how the daddy's sperm gets into the mommy's egg, she has a very basic understanding of intercourse, and strict instructions not to share that information with her little friends at school. Some kids aren't ready to know, and I respect that their parents don't want my daughter to explain it to them.
Sex in public is not new, and it's kinda hot, and I wish I had tried it out when I was younger. It's unfortunate that these people were doing this in the establishment, but I'm not surprised as fast food joints in downtown areas always tend to be seedy. I wouldn't let my child go into one of those washrooms alone.
And the correct time to teach them about sex. When they ask. And don't use those dumb words like hoo-hoo and wee-wee. My daughter, who is 7, knows and understands what a penis is, what a vagina is, and because she asked me how the daddy's sperm gets into the mommy's egg, she has a very basic understanding of intercourse, and strict instructions not to share that information with her little friends at school. Some kids aren't ready to know, and I respect that their parents don't want my daughter to explain it to them.
36
loveschild, if you want people to at least read your comments, use spell check, mmkay? and come clean. we all know you used to be a lesbian, then 'saw the light' in 2006. come on now! the truth shall set you free!
40
@29, yeah lol it's very different now. haha i've been in those bathrooms numerous times, and the weirdest things are the homeless people using them. they renovated and got security and whatnot.
i loves me some taco bell, restaurant or no.
and while 11 is too young to SEE those kinds of things, the article's implying that these girls didn't, they heard something. the parents could've said "those people were doing something inappropriate" and left it at that. instead, they chose to lose their shit. i promise, if the parents had said that and dropped it, these kids wouldn't have thought twice.
i loves me some taco bell, restaurant or no.
and while 11 is too young to SEE those kinds of things, the article's implying that these girls didn't, they heard something. the parents could've said "those people were doing something inappropriate" and left it at that. instead, they chose to lose their shit. i promise, if the parents had said that and dropped it, these kids wouldn't have thought twice.
41
SEX IS DIRTY AND EVIL AND GOD HATES IT AND YOU SHOULD NEVER DO IT EVER, EVER!
ESPECIALLY YOU LOVESCHILD. GOD TOLD ME SO.
ESPECIALLY YOU LOVESCHILD. GOD TOLD ME SO.
43
@33,
Sven, you're right, my post @18 really doesn't belong in SLOG, which is mostly liberal and anti-abstinence only sex ed.
Many people DO teach their kids that sex is normal and "if you see something going on, just leave and ask me if you have questions." I applaud them for that. I think it's all those Bush years that have built up my fury and unfortunately it gets unleashed on the wrong people at times.
I'll go smoke a bowl and come back mellow.
Sven, you're right, my post @18 really doesn't belong in SLOG, which is mostly liberal and anti-abstinence only sex ed.
Many people DO teach their kids that sex is normal and "if you see something going on, just leave and ask me if you have questions." I applaud them for that. I think it's all those Bush years that have built up my fury and unfortunately it gets unleashed on the wrong people at times.
I'll go smoke a bowl and come back mellow.
45
The thing about talking to your kids is that you need to foster a relationship where they can ask you the questions. They are very perceptive and do pick up on the general societal attitude that sex is naughty and not for children to discuss.
One of the most reassuring bits of information I've ever given my son was that there was no need to be concerned that his penis would "get too big" sometimes. "That's because it has to so it can be pushed into the lady to make babies. It's a problem if it doesn't do that." Huge smile, disastrously malfunctioning equipment mystery solved.
One of the most reassuring bits of information I've ever given my son was that there was no need to be concerned that his penis would "get too big" sometimes. "That's because it has to so it can be pushed into the lady to make babies. It's a problem if it doesn't do that." Huge smile, disastrously malfunctioning equipment mystery solved.
46
With the technology of this day and age, most 11 year olds have already seen a donkey show online. I highly doubt seeing a Taco Bell orgy was that big of a shock.
47
33 Big Sven, you truly are a gentleman. A true man, your kind is on the verge of becoming extinct.
48
Dan: I can't believe you haven't posted about the recent arrests in Colorado of a youth group leader and a school music teacher, both of them on child molestation charges.
And @46: You'd be surprised at how some parents are actually being successful at keeping the real world away from their kids, going way too far and doing so to the kid's detriment. For every dozen or so kids whose parents *think* they haven't seen anything racy, there's at least one who really hasn't because their parents are such helicopters that they haven't had the opportunity.
And @46: You'd be surprised at how some parents are actually being successful at keeping the real world away from their kids, going way too far and doing so to the kid's detriment. For every dozen or so kids whose parents *think* they haven't seen anything racy, there's at least one who really hasn't because their parents are such helicopters that they haven't had the opportunity.
52
@24: Do you ever actually deal with reality when it happens or are you so blindered that you don't have that capacity?
Something happened. Something that I agree SHOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED. But you keep insisting that if people were more moral this wouldn't be an issue. But they aren't and it is.
So how do you best deal with that -- by assuming the child is now irreparably tainted or by treating the child as a curious and sentient being and explaining the circumstances?
Take your head from out of the sand.
Something happened. Something that I agree SHOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED. But you keep insisting that if people were more moral this wouldn't be an issue. But they aren't and it is.
So how do you best deal with that -- by assuming the child is now irreparably tainted or by treating the child as a curious and sentient being and explaining the circumstances?
Take your head from out of the sand.
54
@48, he did post about the Focus on the Family guy right after it happened. I'm not sure what other incident you're referring to.
56
I got busy with Loveschild in the bathroom at the Greyhound station once back in the late 70's. Best five bucks I ever spent.
57
"(F)our people having sex"? If one is only giving can it be considered "having" too? (Seriously, this isn't a rhetorical question.)
58
I recently finished teaching a series of classes about sexuality, puberty, making choices, boundary setting and lots more to a group of 11 yr olds which included my daughter...AT CHURCH! Granted, it's a UU church, but their curricula, "Our Whole Lives" is available to anyone. Google for it, if you're interested.
61
Nobody's mentioned this, so I will: South Bend, IN is the home of Notre Dame University, the Catholic-est damn college in the country.
62
Dan, truly a hilarious presentation of the topic. I laughed till I cried. Then I called all my friends, directing them to this story.
63
The moral (if there is a moral): If you want your kids to learn what it means to "think outside the box," take 'em to Taco Bell.
64
Well look at it this way. At least no one was getting gay married in the Taco Bell bathroom. Taco Bell, your shelter from the homo-storm!
Does it make me a bad person that I like Taco Bell?
Does it make me a bad person that I like Taco Bell?
65
@61 that's what i thought too. plus its a university town at all, which means you've got to expect higher than usual levels of public sex and drunkenness, yes?
i walked in on my mom having sex when i was younger than that. And an older cousin once. It wasn't traumatic, just embarrassing. Just like it would be as an adult.
and really, loveschild is just too bizarre for words.
i walked in on my mom having sex when i was younger than that. And an older cousin once. It wasn't traumatic, just embarrassing. Just like it would be as an adult.
and really, loveschild is just too bizarre for words.
66
Am I the only person that finds it baffling that anyone could actually get aroused in the restroom of a fast-food establishment? I mean, uck. Gross.
I never understood toilet sex, anyway. The smells, the sounds, the complete lack of comfort...just not my thing. I get the appeal of anonymity, even the appeal of getting caught - although neither of them are my particular kink - but bathrooms? I guess they just don't have erotic associations for me.
Cars, on the other hand...
I never understood toilet sex, anyway. The smells, the sounds, the complete lack of comfort...just not my thing. I get the appeal of anonymity, even the appeal of getting caught - although neither of them are my particular kink - but bathrooms? I guess they just don't have erotic associations for me.
Cars, on the other hand...
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