Friday, April 17, 2009
Media Advertising For Your Undercarriage
Posted by David Schmader on Fri, Apr 17, 2009 at 9:41 AM
Exhibit A, from KY jelly, now scientifically intensified for Her Pleasure:
Exhibit B, from Procto-Glyvenal hemorrhoid ointment, which is like a cooling waterfall on your butthole. Full ad here, illuminating close-up below.
Moral of exhibit A: Apparently, this new lube will temporarily turn any woman into a screaming geyser, after which she'll be happy to cuddle.
Moral of exhibit B: Apparently, hemorrhoid sufferers would like nothing more than a cold waterfall crashing down on their inflamed butt tissue. (Also, it appears this ad was shot by someone inside an anus looking out.)
Thank you for your bringing these media bits to my attention, Videogum and Gawker.
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1
Not being a hemorrhoid sufferer, I wouldn't have an opinion about that. But anything that turns a woman into a "screaming geyser" is OK with me.
2
I'm not sure, but maybe the waterfall is supposed to represent "soothing relief" or something. Still, the perspective, even if totally CGI is a little creepy. I mean, where do you go from that? Actual colonoscopy footage?
4
may you never have hemmorhoids. you won't want to make jokes about them any longer. they hurt like a motherfucker and the surgery hurts worse.
5
from wikipedia
'Using a hand held shower massage to direct a pulsating stream of cold water at external hemorrhoidal tissue for a few minutes each day tends to shrink the swelling, stop the itch and over time may reduce or eliminate the condition..'
'Placing an ice pack to an external hemorrhoid should relieve itching and swelling. '
..so a cooling waterfall should definetly do the trick
'Using a hand held shower massage to direct a pulsating stream of cold water at external hemorrhoidal tissue for a few minutes each day tends to shrink the swelling, stop the itch and over time may reduce or eliminate the condition..'
'Placing an ice pack to an external hemorrhoid should relieve itching and swelling. '
..so a cooling waterfall should definetly do the trick
6
Hubby needs to have his mouth shut with tape. That's a stimulant. No amount of gel would stimulate me if I had to hear a nincompoop like that in bed.
9
I love that the graphic on the hemorrhoid cream is a dude on all fours being anally "engaged" (is it consensual? I leave that to you all to surmise) by a red square.
10
If you asked yourself this morning "how will I be spending the day?", did you ever think the answer would be "reading about Loveschild's sex life"?
Happy Friday, everyone!
Happy Friday, everyone!
13
@12: She screams "oh yes, lord, dress me in purple! Call me a harlot! Whore of babylon! Let me ride your beast! Let me marvel as the gash in your head erupts and then heals itself! Pull my hair!"
And then she starts speaking in tongues and quoting scripture before pushing her bed back to the other side of the room and hiding under the blankets in shame.
And then she starts speaking in tongues and quoting scripture before pushing her bed back to the other side of the room and hiding under the blankets in shame.
16
14, Thank Allah that Loveschild wasn't my mother. She'd be beating me with her belt every day screaming, "I will beat the gay out of you!!! SWEET BABY JESUS! I WILL BEAT THE GAY OUT OF YOU!!!!!"
Something tells me it would be easier to be gay in Iraq than Loveschild household, and less dangerous too.
Something tells me it would be easier to be gay in Iraq than Loveschild household, and less dangerous too.
22
No, I am the real Loveschild. Here, I'll prove it:
I pray for the gay perverts. To be beaten up and castrated, as the Bible says you should do unto all child molesters (ORLY 4:27-31)
See?
I pray for the gay perverts. To be beaten up and castrated, as the Bible says you should do unto all child molesters (ORLY 4:27-31)
See?
23
Loveschild, grab a new handle, and keep posting. Your comments always add to the discussions. Best wishes.
24
17 18 19 20 22 All false, probably no other than Rob. My only comments o this thread have been and will be 6 and this one.
Someone commented on it before and I agreed with them, Can slog please put on some safeguards so that other peoples handles are not stolen. It has happen to others like Kim and such and while I know there are a couple of asshats like Rob who hate me posting here just remember that the same can be done to you as Kim's case shows.
Someone commented on it before and I agreed with them, Can slog please put on some safeguards so that other peoples handles are not stolen. It has happen to others like Kim and such and while I know there are a couple of asshats like Rob who hate me posting here just remember that the same can be done to you as Kim's case shows.
25
5280, your every post screams "chronic hemorrhoid sufferer" louder than you could ever deny it. I detect a note of gout and stomach ulcers in there too.
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