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Thursday, April 16, 2009

Don't Let the Door Hit You In the Ass...

Posted by on Thu, Apr 16, 2009 at 5:42 AM

The governor of Texas, Rick "Sex Scandal Waiting to Happen" Perry, says that Texas may have no choice but to secede from the union. That's treason talk, of course, but... whatever. Go, Texas, go. Take your sky-high infant mortality rate, your teen pregnancy rate, your gun nuts and go. Oh, and take the whole Bush clan with you too.

We'll keep your electoral college votes, thanks.

 

Comments (100) RSS

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1
have you ever been there? they are super crazy about the whole "we used to be our own country and never got over it" thing. Texas flags everywhere...they should go, fuck 'em. shit, we could even let Mexico have them back!
Posted by eastcoastreader on April 16, 2009 at 5:58 AM
2
@1: Now THAT would be ironic...
Posted by ...but we could keep the Alamo, right?... on April 16, 2009 at 6:06 AM
3
Let them take their electoral votes too. It just means a bigger landslide victory for the Democratic candidate.
Posted by Matt from Denver on April 16, 2009 at 6:11 AM
4
They'd last about five days before they were either occupied by Mexico or would come crawling back.
Posted by Go ahead...mess with Texas on April 16, 2009 at 6:21 AM
5
If nationally homosexual marriage is forced on states that have already voted by wide margins to ban it look for more seccesionist sentiment.
Posted by wayne on April 16, 2009 at 6:26 AM
6
Actually, probably not treason talk. Texas joined the union on the condition that they could legally secede at any time they like. It's written into their constitution.

They'd have to be fucking stupid to do it of course but . . . they are.
Posted by Colin on April 16, 2009 at 6:36 AM
7
sky-high infant mortality rate = illegal alien mexicans, not Texas rednecks

teen pregnancy rate = illegal alien mexicans and blacks, not Texas rednecks

"gun nuts" - if you mean criminals who use guns, again, the great majority are illegal alien mexicans and blacks, not Texas rednecks.

Posted by just so you know on April 16, 2009 at 6:37 AM
8
Austin is the only place worth salvaging. The rest can disappear from the US map, and I doubt many people would ever miss it.
Posted by lymerae on April 16, 2009 at 6:43 AM
9
@6 : That's a well-known claim, but it's not true. We can, however, split into five states if we want to. (See the last paragraph at http://blogs.chron.com/texaspolitics/arc…)
Posted by DL on April 16, 2009 at 6:46 AM
10
7, Thank Jesus that Texas takes care of it's white people though!
Posted by Rob in Baltimore on April 16, 2009 at 6:54 AM
11
Promises, promises @5
Posted by Beguine on April 16, 2009 at 6:58 AM
12
@8 Thanks. I live in Austin, and it really is like an island of civilization out here. Since we can split into 5 states, maybe one of those can just be Austin, and we can stick around with the rest of civilized society (and most likely contribute two more blue Senate votes, I might add). The other 4 former-Texas states can do whatever the hell they want.
Posted by Afreet on April 16, 2009 at 7:00 AM
13
@7: Breaking out "Hispanic" into citizenship status in terms of pregnancy and infant mortality produces no viable statistic, breaking it out into those with one white parent, however, makes white people the problem.

In fact, when doing outreach, several cities with high teen pregnancy rates sought to go directly to the hispanic communities, but ultimately found that they were dealing more often than not with mixed couples (and often, mixed parents).
Posted by Baconcat on April 16, 2009 at 7:11 AM
14
Governor Perry does not speak on my behalf.

~Scott from Austin, TX
Posted by Scottie68 on April 16, 2009 at 7:12 AM
15
I have family in Austin. Austin, in my opinion, is a great place.
Posted by kim in portland on April 16, 2009 at 7:19 AM
16
Can you imagine what the wingnuts would be saying if a Democratic governor threatened to leave the country because the Republicans were trashing the Constitution, launching immoral wars and destroying the economy?

Rick Perry has hairspray for brains. It's times like these that I miss Molly Ivins.
Posted by kk on April 16, 2009 at 7:22 AM
17
Here here 12 & 14, though Austin is the capitol (where Gov. Goodhair lives!) it's so different from the rest of the state - though I should also point out that the Valley and El Paso are also very different from the rest of the state.

A few years back I stood right next to Perry at the start of Race for the Cure (in running uniform, him not me). Deciding it wasn't the proper venue, I held my tongue and didn't call him out. I now regret that decision.
Posted by I left my heart in Austin, TX on April 16, 2009 at 7:23 AM
18
Dan
Every major urban center (Austin, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio) voted democrat in the 08 presidential race (http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/results…). I sincerely apologize for rural Texas’s backwardness but please don’t generalize and stereotype all Texans.
Posted by Scottie68 on April 16, 2009 at 7:24 AM
19
Gotta say guys, if my so-called State level reps dare to try, I'll get a real charge out of putting on Army Blue, picking up a rifle, and shooting some of the dipshits we got down here in the face in order to get Six Flags Over Texas back under the Stars and Stripes.

Posted by Max on April 16, 2009 at 7:25 AM
20
@5: Fine, leave! We could use fewer judgmental bigots. Maybe you could all helpfully congregate into just a couple of states on the border so we can get you all at the same time when you secede and then fail miserably trying to legislate all of the gun toting, beer-swilling-and-drunk-driving, overgrown fraternity idiot jerkwads.
Posted by Kathy on April 16, 2009 at 7:25 AM
21
I lived in Austin for many years. It's pretty good...south of Airport, north of Ben White. Otherwise, it's really become indistinguishable from a Houston or Dallas suburb.
Posted by tiktok on April 16, 2009 at 7:27 AM
22
@15 kim: Hometown of that big hippie food chain, right? We should probably keep them American if we can. Not sarcasm--just can't remember its name, and there's not one around here.
Posted by ...but I wish there were... on April 16, 2009 at 7:30 AM
23
I think this guy is getting paid by Absolute vodka.
Posted by poom on April 16, 2009 at 7:33 AM
24
Why do all these states think we feel threatened by them seceding? Enjoy, see how long it takes for you to come crawling back. I would also like to point out that abolition of slavery in Southern States happened as a way to punish them from seceding, the original intent was to make it illegal only in the newly settled West. So, please, keep threatening, it's just pissing people off, making those who are issuing threats look stupid and bringing our cause closer to success
Posted by Jen D on April 16, 2009 at 7:35 AM
25
Heavens, why not VT, I love TX born and raised there. So I know that's going no where fast. Vermont on the other hand needs to declare it's independence PRONTO! And the US government needs to start building that fence, heck I'd volunteer personally for the manual work! LOL
Posted by Loveschild on April 16, 2009 at 7:43 AM
26
Maybe we could have a Berlin wall system around Austin (and other areas) and let the rest of texas secede. People would be scrambling to get over the wall.
Posted by Simone on April 16, 2009 at 7:44 AM
27
Any facts behind's Dan's "high infant mortality" and "teenage pregnancies" Texas jabs?
Posted by raindrop on April 16, 2009 at 7:59 AM
28
I've always thought it sadly ironic that the bastions of "patriotism" and "good ol' American values" are the same states that seceded and where you still see the treasonous and racist Confederate flag on buildings, cars, and chests.
Posted by Simac on April 16, 2009 at 8:03 AM
29
@25: Ah, but you see, love, Texas doesn't want to be part of the USA. Vermont does. And the feeling goes both ways. How about you go back to Texas, establish a Christian theocracy and make your own hell on earth before you go to the big leagues of Hades!
Posted by Cracker Jack on April 16, 2009 at 8:03 AM
30
@27: Yes indeed. Widely reported statistics. Do a Google search for both + Texas.
Posted by Simac on April 16, 2009 at 8:03 AM
31
Gov. Goodhair has said that Texas could secede pursuant to the terms of the treaty admitting it to the union. That's a myth cherished by the Republic of Texas crowd. It's not in the treaty at all.
Posted by sam on April 16, 2009 at 8:06 AM
32
@25: I knew you were from Dallas, I just knew it. You're about as clever as a rat tied to a block of cheese and only half as entertaining.
Posted by Baconcat on April 16, 2009 at 8:13 AM
33
Re: 27 - he's half right. Texas ranks 29th in a 2005 study of infant mortality but Texas is among the top 5 in teenage pregnancy rates.
Posted by raindrop on April 16, 2009 at 8:13 AM
34
By saying that the governor expects what, exactly? That we'll miss him?
Posted by Greg on April 16, 2009 at 8:14 AM
35
@34: Greg, you're just jealous of my fabulous hair.
Posted by It's called an "Aggie Helmet" on April 16, 2009 at 8:19 AM
36
Their infant mortality rate is better than the national average, which rather deflates Dan's jab:

http://www.statehealthfacts.org/profilei…

http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/CHS/VSTAT/im…
Posted by Matt from Denver on April 16, 2009 at 8:22 AM
37
@ 7, the infant mortality rate in Texas for Hispanics from 2003-2005 was the same as for non-Hispanic whites: http://www.statehealthfacts.org/profilei…

How about them apples?
Posted by Ms. D on April 16, 2009 at 8:30 AM
38
So Dan could have, or asked a staffer, to research embarrassing stats about Texas before just blurting them out. Isn't that what one should expect from journalistic enterprise?
Posted by raindrop on April 16, 2009 at 8:34 AM
39
@38: Grammar, it's not just for college students anymore.
Posted by Cracker Jack on April 16, 2009 at 8:37 AM
40
29 Cracker, this lone star girl is more of a patriot than you'll ever be and so are the vast majority of all native born Texans irrespectively of whether we still live there or not it's ingrained in our DNA. Vermonters on the other hand have demonstrated a total disregard for the moral principles that have sustain our country, 'Hades' will have nothing on VT once the star to reap what they sowed.
Posted by Loveschild on April 16, 2009 at 8:37 AM
41
@37 - yes I am sure the millions of illegal alien Mexicans were included in those stats
Posted by try to use common sense please on April 16, 2009 at 8:39 AM
42
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/…

Number of illegal immigrants' children soars, Pew Hispanic Center study finds

12:47 AM CDT on Wednesday, April 15, 2009

By DIANNE SOLÍS / The Dallas Morning News
dsolis@dallasnews.com

The number of children born in the U.S. into families with at least one parent here illegally is growing, posing thorny policy questions for U.S. and Mexican officials.

A study released Tuesday by the Pew Hispanic Center showed that there were 4 million such children in 2008, up from 2.7 million five years earlier. All children born in this country are U.S. citizens, even if their parents are not.
Also Online

Texas is home to an estimated 1.4 million illegal immigrants. And the Dallas region has the nation's third-highest population of those born in Mexico. Mexicans represent nearly 60 percent of illegal immigrants nationwide, according to the Pew study.

One of those 4 million children is Jorge Barraza, who lives in Mesquite with his mother. His father has been barred from re-entry into the U.S. because he came here illegally more than a decade ago. Jorge's parents have lived apart for more than a year.

"We were people who took the initiative to do the right thing," said Jorge's mother, Yvette Medrano, in referring to her attempt to legalize her husband's immigration status.

"We should have priority in any legalization," she said. "Anyone separated from a parent is in extreme hardship."

The federal government maintains a different view.

At Immigration and Customs Enforcement, an agency within the Department of Homeland Security, spokesman Carl Rusnok said, "We recognize that children are impacted by enforcement of the law. However, ultimately parents, who are in violation of the law, are responsible for the negative impact to their families."

In January, at the request of a congressional committee, Homeland Security's inspector general found that more than 108,000 parents of U.S. citizens were deported over the decade ending in 2007.

Changes to immigration law made in 1996 reduced defenses against removals for those who had substantial ties to the U.S., including spouses and children, the inspector general's report noted.

Legalizing illegal immigrants still here could be among the topics discussed this week as President Barack Obama visits Mexico for talks with Mexican President Felipe Calderón.

The Pew study showed stabilization, rather than growth, in the size of what it terms "unauthorized immigrants" at about 11.9 million. In Texas, it estimates the population at 1.4 million – or 6 percent of the overall Texas population.

That follows a March report by the Mexican census agency that net migration from Mexico had dropped by more than 50 percent in late 2008 from a year earlier. The Mexican government attributed the plunge to tough economic conditions worldwide.

The Pew study's latest estimates come from early 2008 census data. Study co-author Jeffrey S. Passel was asked repeatedly in a news conference Tuesday whether immigrants were returning home.

Passel said that it was a possibility but that he wasn't prepared to say "large numbers" were leaving.

"The most recent data on this was from a year ago," Passel said. "It is certainly possible that there are trends we are not getting."
More...
Posted by imagine that! on April 16, 2009 at 8:41 AM
43
@ 42, is there some connection to infant mortality here? Or is "common sense" supposed to take the place of stats?
Posted by They don't check for citizenship when collecting these stats on April 16, 2009 at 8:47 AM
44
@ 40, being a patriot and being a reactionary are two different things.
Posted by Matt from Denver on April 16, 2009 at 8:49 AM
45
42
this article is a week old
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/07/health…
There are large differences by race and ethnicity. Non-Hispanic black, American Indian, Alaska Native and Puerto Rican women have the highest rates of infant mortality, while Asian and Pacific Islanders, Central and South Americans, Mexicans and Cubans have the lowest.
Posted by chew on that on April 16, 2009 at 8:54 AM
46
@39: Thanks so much for alerting the world that I missed an 'a' in my previous post.
Posted by raindrop on April 16, 2009 at 8:57 AM
47
@40: Being a bigot is also apparently genetic. Try watching this TED Talk about The real difference btw libs and conserv…
Posted by Cracker Jack on April 16, 2009 at 8:58 AM
48
Us lefties suffered through the ridiculous Republican agenda of more government, more debt, more corruption, more war and oh yes, more government spying and oppression (depite their lies to the contrary). Now that it's their turn they want to be THE BIGGEST CRY BABIES EVER! Fuck em'!
Posted by Vince on April 16, 2009 at 9:00 AM
49
@40: As a native-born Texan, I think you're full of it. Your weak and spineless reaction to everything, your half-baked threats and lack of humor on everything coupled with your demand to limit rights (and your outright lies) make you a shameful shadow of what a true Texan is.

Calling out other states as being unpatriotic because they do something you don't like? That's fundamentally un-texan and part of the problem that left the Lone Star State besotted with fundamentalist evangelical sociopaths. You, like KBH and Governor Goodhair, have no concept of what freedom and the Texas way truly are.

You dishonor Texas to the highest degree.
Posted by Baconcat on April 16, 2009 at 9:00 AM
50
*sigh* Governor Good Hair strikes again. Sadly, he seems as dim a bulb as Bush. I would apologize for giving the country W but there isn't enough digital ink in the world for that. (Wyoming, however, must claim Cheney.)

I can utterly understand the sense of Texas secession being no great loss to the country. In our defense, I point out that Texas also produced Molly Ivins, Ann Richards, Jim Hightower, Willy Nelson, and Jensen Ackles. We are not completely useless.

I don't think it's news to anyone that some people in the South and in Texas are still fighting the Civil War in their heads. It's rare that secessionist stupidity spews from our elected officials but it has always been there. How these people square that with their strident claims of patriotism has long baffled me but is beyond the current topic.

If this were a serious proposal rather than Governor Good Hair's machismo short-circuiting his other brain cell, I think Texas would divide against itself. We may get drowned out by loud mouthed wingnuts but Texas progressives are a stronger force than we get credit for. Austin is famous for its politics and culture. Houston voted to keep Affirmative Action and welcomed New Orleans residents abandoned by their local and our national government. Dallas has been busy electing Democrats to its local offices and building mass transit.

Not to paint Texas as a secret progressive nirvana -- because it's not -- but our long treasured right to subdivide into smaller states would suddenly become a much more appealing option if the secessionists ever managed to build any real support for their nuttery.
Posted by hsapiens on April 16, 2009 at 9:08 AM
51
1. Texas dudes -- instead of just saying you can secede show us the quotes and btw not just the texas constitution which doesn't override the usa constitution or an act of congress show us the FEDERAL law saying it's okay for Texas to secede.

and explain pls. how come texas wasn't allowed to secede as part of confed. if what you say is true.

i suspect what you say is bullshit.

2. Anti Texans: very bad political stratergery to accept in your dna the notion Texas = GOP, this is a deep defeatism, this state should be ours lookit the Latino factor, GWB brand name is for shit now, etc. etc.

We got NM now also Colorado do you not see a trend here?
Posted by NoMolestenaTejas! on April 16, 2009 at 9:08 AM
52
@46: Actually, I was referring to the sentence structure in your first sentence. It is terrible.
Posted by Cracker Jack on April 16, 2009 at 9:08 AM
53
@ 50, you also gave us the Butthole Surfers and Really Red. Thank you!
Posted by Matt from Denver on April 16, 2009 at 9:12 AM
54
@ 53. And the Austin Lounge Lizards.

Their version of Pink Floyd's Brain Damage as bluegrass is particularly amusing.
Posted by hsapiens on April 16, 2009 at 9:25 AM
55
Well, we've already got a fence started around Tejas - wonder how much it would cost to finish the job?

I'll miss the Johnston Space Center in Houston, and downtown Austin, but otherwise, I could totally live with this.
Posted by COMTE on April 16, 2009 at 9:34 AM
56
Don't forget Willie Nelson, ZZ Top, Waylon Jennings, Buddy Holly, Roy Orbison, Johnny Winter, Townes Van Zandt, Janis Joplin, Roky Erickson, the Big Boys, Toadies, Polyphonic Spree, Scott Joplin, Leadbelly, Robert Johnson, etc. etc. etc.
Posted by Thank you, Texas! on April 16, 2009 at 9:35 AM
57
who can forget the Geto Boys?
Posted by my mind is playing tricks on me on April 16, 2009 at 9:36 AM
58
http://writ.news.findlaw.com/dorf/200411…

"As I will explain below, it is settled law that the Constitution does not permit unilateral secession".

Texas v. White. 1868. Look it up.

It is possible to argue that mutually-agreed upon secession -- Texas wants to go and we want them to leave -- would be permitted, but it is far from certain, and I very much doubt that our current Supreme Court, as ideologuous as they are, would allow such a thing.

Rick Perry belongs in jail for what he said.
Posted by Fnarf on April 16, 2009 at 9:37 AM
59
Stevie Ray Vaughn
Posted by Texas ain't so bad on April 16, 2009 at 9:37 AM
60
May I also add, Freddie King.
Posted by kim in portland on April 16, 2009 at 9:42 AM
61
Texas is part of Mexico. That's a fact and for years we've been in possession of stolen property, but the truth is the truth. How come nobody in Texas respects property rights?
Posted by elenchos on April 16, 2009 at 9:42 AM
62
Texas Instruments. None of you would even have a pocket calculator if it were not for Texas Instruments.
Posted by The Ghost of Jack Kilby Haunts Every Computer on April 16, 2009 at 9:45 AM
63
@ 61, Aztlan now!
Posted by Matt from Denver on April 16, 2009 at 9:50 AM
64
So long Texas... I won't miss ya!
Posted by Jerse67 on April 16, 2009 at 9:55 AM
65
Hooray Aztlan!

http://www.prisonplanet.com/articles/jan…

Racist Mexican Gangs "Ethnic Cleansing" Blacks In L.A.
Latino thugs indiscriminately murder blacks regardless of gang membership, genocidal purge aligns with radical Aztlan theology

Paul Joseph Watson
Prison Planet
Monday, January 22, 2007

Racist Mexican gangs are indiscriminately targeting blacks who aren't even involved in gang culture, as part of an orchestrated ethnic cleansing program that is forcing black people to flee Los Angeles. The culprit of the carnage is the radical Neo-Nazi liberation theology known as La Raza, which calls for the extermination of all races in America besides Latinos, and is being bankrolled by some of the biggest Globalists in the U.S.

A story carried on the liberal website Alternet, charts an explosion in brutal murders of blacks by Hispanic street gangs in L.A. Far from being gang on gang violence, the Latinos are targeting innocent blacks in accordance with a concerted ethnic cleansing campaign that seeks to eradicate all blacks from Hispanic neighborhoods.

In one instance, 21-year-old Anthony Prudhomme was shot in the face with a .25-caliber semi-automatic while lying on a futon inside his apartment, slain by a Latino gang known as the Avenues as part of a racist terror campaign in which gang members earn "stripes" for each black person they kill.

In one typical case," writes journalist Brentin Mock, "Three members of the Pomona 12 attacked an African-American teenager, Kareem Williams, in his front yard in 2002. When his uncle, Roy Williams, ran to help his nephew, gang member Richard Diaz told him, "Niggers have no business living in Pomona because this is 12th Street territory." According to witnesses, Diaz then told the other gang members, "Pull out the gun! Shoot the niggers! Shoot the niggers!"

The fatwah against blacks began in the mid-nineties, with a 1995 LAPD report concluding that Latinos had vowed to "Eradicate black citizens from the gang neighborhood." In a follow up report on the situation in east Los Angeles, the LAPD warned that "Local gangs will attack any black person that comes into the city."

The author notes that since 1990 the African-American population of Los Angeles has halved, partly as a result of rampant illegal immigration and that there are noticeably fewer blacks walking the streets because many have been forced to relocate in fear of the racist gangs.

"The LAPD estimates there are now 22,000 Latino gang members in the city of Los Angeles alone. That's not only more than all the Crips and the Bloods; it's more than all black, Asian, and white gang members combined. Almost all of those Latino gang members in L.A. -- let alone those in other California cities -- are loyal to the Mexican Mafia. Most have been thoroughly indoctrinated with the Mexican Mafia's violent racism during stints in prison, where most gangs are racially based," writes Mock.

Mock blames the "Mexican Mafia" for ordering the campaign of ethnic cleansing from prison, as part of a turf war with the Black Guerilla family, another prison gang, but fails to pinpoint the racist creed from which the Mexican kingpins draw their inspiration - the long standing Aztlan invasion agenda.

Aztlan's goal, known as La reconquista, is to cede and take over the entirety of the southern and western states by any means necessary and impose a Communist militant dictatorship. President Bush's blanket amnesty program goes a long way to helping the extremists achieve their aim.

Despite the fact that the majority of documented hispanics oppose illegal immigration, as do the majority of Americans, Aztlan and La Raza race hate groups have become the self-appointed voice for a separatist movement that threatens a violent overthrow of the Constitutional system and a barbaric program of ethnic cleansing. This is held up by the media as 'diversity' and to vociferously oppose it is scorned as racism.

Aztlan and Mecha groups advocate killing all whites and blacks and driving them out of the southern states by means of brutal ethnic cleansing. Flags and placards carried at marches depict white people having their heads cut off, as seen in the picture below.

Those that protest such groups are then attacked by the establishment media and labeled as racists, despite the fact that the Plan of San Diego, a rallying cry for the hispanic Klan groups, advocates total eradication of any race but hispanics.

Mecha's own slogan reads, "For the race everything. For those outside the race, nothing."

TV stations owned by rich white industrialists erect giant billboards in Los Angeles claiming the city belongs to Mexico, as seen below.

Mainstream hispanics who love America abhor the virulent racism that the Mexican klan groups embrace.

And who bankrolls these pocket radicals? Billionaire tax-exempt foundations and NGO's owned by white men. Organizations like the Ford Foundation, groups who are zealous in their quest to eliminate the middle class and destroy America, turning it into a cashless society, compact city, surveillance control grid where only two tiers of society exist - the elite and the poor slaves.

During the May immigration protests, The Aztlanwebsite carried the following statement.

"If the racist "Sensenbrenner Legislation" passes the US Senate, there is no doubt that a massive civil disobedience movement will emerge. Eventually labor union power can merge with the immigrant civil rights and "Immigrant Sanctuary" movements to enable us to either form a new political party or to do heavy duty reforming of the existing Democratic Party. The next and final steps would follow and that is to elect our own governors of all the states within Aztlan."

Here is the open call for violent separatism and the overthrow of existing state government structures.

During the immigration demonstrations, which were orchestrated by Rob Allyn of Rob Allyn & Co. who is closely tied with George W. Bush, alarming reports of illegals carrying out violent beatings began to surface. In Santa Ana California, illegal aliens swarmed around in mobs invading schools, carrying out violent beatings and in one incident a county worker had a Mexican flag plunged into his chest.

The violent protests that began on May 1 last year were characterized by throngs marching under Mexican flags, many of which were illegal aliens, as a "day without gringos."

Imagine what the reaction would be if white middle class Americans marched in their millions and called the event "a day without blacks."

The media continues to run defense for a violent militant movement that seeks nothing less than the eradication of blacks and whites through ethnic cleansing and the takeover of the southern and western states. This is a separatist junta that has over 30,000 ruthless gang members at its disposal once the call for mobilization is heard, along with millions of illegal aliens pouring across the border.

These thugs have the temerity to call Latinos, blacks and whites who are opposed to uncontrolled illegal immigration racists when it is their own La reconquista philosophy that has spawned target hits in Los Angeles as part of a virulently racist ethnic cleansing rampage. It's a bloodlust that can only spread to other cities as the realization of Aztlan is generously aided by billionaire Globalists who wish to see America balkanized, plundered and destroyed.
More...
Posted by only whites are racist, my Evergreen prof said so! on April 16, 2009 at 10:02 AM
66
Only foolish dips believe Aztlan is the least bit credible of a threat. Can you say "hot air?"

Gee, why so quiet about infant mortality?
Posted by Matt from Denver on April 16, 2009 at 10:14 AM
67
Wow, what a shock to see idiotic, racially-inflammatory crap like that coming out of prison. How's it going, Charlie Manson?
Posted by Fnarf on April 16, 2009 at 10:17 AM
68
i'm in a big-ass fight with a whole bunch of texans this morning, in fact - my texan father sent me and 98 other people an awful anti-obama email and i replied to all when i called him a wackjob. the replies have been coming in fast and furiously!
Posted by mr. herriman on April 16, 2009 at 10:35 AM
69
@56. And Lyle Lovett.
Posted by Eric from Boulder on April 16, 2009 at 10:37 AM
70
@57 Damn it feels good to be a gangsta!
Posted by Nay on April 16, 2009 at 10:43 AM
71
Texas gets the same rap in America that America gets in the world. The ones who aren't here think we're a bunch of yokel assholes. And there are plenty of them, but there's plenty of progressive folks, though they may be concentrated in certain areas. So, to America from Texas- please ignore our douchebags, they're just noisy and non-representative. To the world from America- ibid.
Posted by Stacy in Austin on April 16, 2009 at 10:46 AM
72
They can go if they take Florida with them.
Posted by keshmeshi on April 16, 2009 at 10:50 AM
73
This would be great.

Then I'd have three passports and three citizenships - US, Canadian, and Texan.

I wonder if Texans can go to Cuba even with no family living there ...
Posted by Will in Seattle on April 16, 2009 at 11:48 AM
74
Personally, I'd prefer to keep TX in the U.S. of A. We make the rest of the states look so much better.

For example, just a couple of weeks ago, while a Texan of Asian origin was testifying to the state House regarding negative impacts of the proposed voter ID law, one of our brilliant legislators suggested to him that it would be better for everyone if all Asians in Texas would change their names to something more normal - something "Americans" can pronounce. It would also make it much easier to verify their IDs at the voting booth.

To date, there has been no apology, because there has been very little uproar about it.
Posted by Colorado Native Trapped In TX on April 16, 2009 at 12:24 PM
75
@74 -- it made the news here. I posted it to my Facebook page. I'd really like to talk to the stupid bitch, so I could ask her how to pronounce the names of my Asian coworker (Woo) or my fave baseball hero (Yastrzemski).
Posted by Fnarf on April 16, 2009 at 12:28 PM
76
Don't be fooled. Perry is speaking directly to the ultra-right crazy old white people who presumably will show up to vote for him in the Republican primary -- he's worried about losing it, so he's going all Glen Beck ultra-right for that cause.

Meanwhile he humiliates all the rest of us Texans.
Posted by kamm on April 16, 2009 at 12:34 PM
77
@5, yes, our next civil war will be over whether or not a tiny portion of the population can get married to the people they love.
Posted by another Andy on April 16, 2009 at 12:47 PM
78
Gov. Perry has been inhaling too much of his hair spray. Many of us Texans wish he would secede and move to some remote island. But don't worry, he'll probably get booted the next time around. Unfortunately we have Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison to look forward to in the Gov's mansion next.
Posted by Brad on April 16, 2009 at 1:02 PM
79
@78: Skeletor doesn't stand a chance against Governor Goodhair. They're already portraying her as "soft", something that isn't too difficult when you're running against a woman. They're likely to leverage that with the inexplicable enmity toward Governor Richards and historic anecdotes about Ma and Pa Ferguson.

To the latter, I'm always startled by the longevity of that particular grudge. She was always in opposition to her husband in terms of their approaches to prohibition (she was agin' it, he was fer it) and never once capitulated to the same forces he did (the klan and the feds), but she will forever be used as a symbol of a woman governor that listens to men without a thought of her own, even though that wasn't the case.
Posted by Baconcat on April 16, 2009 at 1:25 PM
80
Oh please no, don't let Texas leave the union. Do you have any idea what that would do to Austin? Austin is a really cool town and it does NOT deserve to be stuck in the middle of a completely unrestrained, batshit-crazy independent Texas.

But really, yeah, this is just empty politicizing spew for the benefit of the ultra-right electorate. What else would you expect from the Kennebunkport Bush clan's chosen regent for the state they invaded and claimed for their own private dude ranch, where they could go and play "cowboys and robber barons"? Perry is a soulless grinning devil, but his pet archfiends Kay Bailey Hutchison and John Cornyn - along with Tom Delay, long may he rot - have ensured that he gets away with pretty much any insane bullshit he likes by gerrymandering the state of Texas into succulent chunks that utterly disenfranchise everyone but the screaming lunatic right fringe.

Texas is a good place that's been occupied by bad people. I don't know the solution, other than to spend some serious national political capital to get the crooks, liars, and other assorted fuckheads out of every single political office in the state (excluding possibly Travis county) and somehow stitch the dissected state districts back into something remotely resembling rationality.
Posted by balderdash on April 16, 2009 at 1:28 PM
81
@71

Unfortunately - as a fellow Austinite - I have to say you're wrong. The douchebags are representative of today's Texas, at least insofar as they constitute a majority in every district of the state.
Posted by balderdash on April 16, 2009 at 1:33 PM
82
77 count on it
Posted by . on April 16, 2009 at 1:44 PM
83
61
Where did Mexico get Texas?
The Pope gave it to them but it wasn't his to give.
Posted by it is ours, now on April 16, 2009 at 1:47 PM
84
@ 80, don't worry. In the event of a Texas secession, Colorado has agreed to trade Colorado Springs for Austin.
Posted by Matt from Denver on April 16, 2009 at 1:48 PM
85
38
From a journalistic enterprise, yes.
What is your point?
Posted by this is just slog, you know on April 16, 2009 at 1:51 PM
86
36
30
27
38

Come on,
get with the program...

Dan is not about facts.
Ot accuracy.
Or the 'truth'.

Dan is about the ASSHOLE.
What he puts in it.
Why it leaks.
What he pulls out of it and posts on Slog.

This will be on the quiz.
Posted by Dan=Asshole dan=asshole=dan=asshole=dan=asshole=dan=asshole on April 16, 2009 at 1:56 PM
87
well, everybody in texas knows the words to the state song, texas our texas, and people all stand up together even before events like classical concerts in the park and they sing it together.
can any other state say that?
is there anybody here who has even heard washington's song?
and also, this argument is really, really, really old. it's really more like a classic joke. "shut up or we'll secede," a perennial high school debate team topic.
can ecb go back before they close the gate? everybody says she was a better reporter back when she was in austin.
Posted by schmoopie.burkulina on April 16, 2009 at 3:36 PM
88
@81- going my district is a wonly way to do it. Check out the 'purple' maps by county. There's definitely a whole lot of non-douchy folks around. It's not the majority, but it's not like there's just four of us huddling around our bongs and throwing gang signals so we'll recognize each other either. Not just Travis county either; Houston and even Dallas (around Denton and the like) have some nice-sized pockets of progressives.
Posted by Stacy in Austin on April 16, 2009 at 6:32 PM
89
Yes please, let them secede so we can go in and CONQUER their asses just like we conquered the whole damn South last time. We will kick their asses, take their names and confiscate their guns.
Posted by east coaster on April 16, 2009 at 7:35 PM
90
@ keshimeshi,

Texas can secede if they take Florida and Oklahoma with them.

Also, as someone who'd lived many years in Arizona, plenty of Hispanics are racist. As much as any white person...or anyone is.
Posted by yucca flower on April 16, 2009 at 9:41 PM
91
Texan here. Although you wouldn't know it from the way he talks, Perry is wildly unpopular and disrespected in this state. He's on his second term, but he only got his first because Bush left to go be president (no need to comment on how all that turned out); in his first actual gubernatorial election, he only took around 30% of the overall vote, but won it anyway because there were too many other candidates--who, of course, only got big enough chunks of the vote to ruin it for each other because everyone wanted Perry out so much. Kinky Friedman's semi-ironic campaign and Chris Bell's shittily publicized one didn't help matters either.

In any case, though, while I can't say Perry doesn't speak for anyone in Texas, I can say that almost everyone I know around here (including many registered Republicans) just wish he would shut the fuck up.
Posted by Rachel on April 17, 2009 at 12:25 AM
92
Non Texans rarely realize that the TX governor is one of the weakest in the US. The Lt. Governor wears the pants. 43 just used all that leisure time he had as governor to start campaigning. The Bush family is not from Texas and we're not seceding from anything. The rest of the country needs us to help lower the average national unemployment rate. :D

Dallas will go blue within the decade if trends continue and Austin is a liberal wet-dream. Houston's wildly diverse, Fort Worth is art museum heaven and San Antonio is whatever you want it to be because they depend on tourism. It's actually an interesting and modern state, if you ignore the old white guys.

Don't believe me? Viddy the hilarity contained in this video: http://texaplex.com/
Posted by Lauren on April 17, 2009 at 5:18 PM
93
justsoyouknow=racist jackass

rick perry is no reflection of Texas or of how most Texans feel. Most of the people I know don't like him and we are all Texans.
Posted by mrs_fury on April 17, 2009 at 10:14 PM
94
As a Texan, I have to join in and say that although the majority of my fellow Texans are douchebags, this doesn't mean we all deserve your hate. Texas does have large progressive areas, as Stacy pointed out, and may I remind Dan that we have some huge gay communities as well? The Montrose in Houston springs to mind.

I'd also like to point out that all 50 states have a high percentage of douchebags. It's because there are just so many of them about.
Posted by SKC on April 18, 2009 at 10:59 PM
95
I'm really curious about the source of our incredibly bright and insightful bunch of Real American commentors. I know that my urban intellectual elite atheist faggot ass is benefitting greatly from their schooling.

Real Americans, how did you hear about the Slog? I assume it has something to do with our beloved leader, but . . . specifically . . . ?
Posted by violet_dagrinder on April 19, 2009 at 12:46 PM
96
Actually Texas is the only state that is self sufficient enough to secede and be able to survive as an independent nation.

Besides the Declaration of Independence is quite clear on this subject.

Governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed... Whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government.

Many Southern states, including Texas, did secede once, and no one was ever convicted of treason.

Has the government reached that point yet? No, but if things continue going down the toilet as they are, a revolution of some sort is inevitable. But judging from the idiotic comments on here, I don't expect most of you retards understand that that is a real possibility.
Posted by give_me_liberty_or_give_me_death on April 19, 2009 at 1:57 PM
97
When I titled this post:
"Don't Let the Door Hit You In the Ass..."
I was being rhetorical.

Actually letting the door hit you in the ass can be a great way to get started buttfucking doorknobs.
I am a doorknob licker myself but for a change of pace sometimes I like a good doorknob reaming.
Posted by Dam Savage on April 19, 2009 at 2:32 PM
98
I never liked Texans anyway.
Posted by Peter on April 19, 2009 at 7:20 PM
99
let them secede, as long as they aren't allowed to acquire or develop nuclear weapons
Posted by actual evergreen grad on April 19, 2009 at 7:38 PM
100
@ 96, I think California, New York, and a few other states are just as self-sufficient. Your Texan chauvinism is showing.
Posted by Matt from Denver on April 19, 2009 at 9:41 PM

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