Slog
News & ArtsWednesday, April 15, 2009
Life The Most Important Question You Will Ever Be Asked
Posted by David Schmader on Wed, Apr 15, 2009 at 9:45 AM
Courtesy of Last Days' Hot Tipper Leslie:
Dear Last Days,I was at my new beau's house watching a DVD on Saturday night in Austin, TX. We had some pizza with the movie. Shortly after he finished his pizza, he went into the bathroom. When he sat back on the couch next to me, he began flossing while watching the movie, working the floss like a bow to a fiddle, eyes glued to the screen. I threw him several looks until he took note and I had to blurt out, "Public flossing?!" He maintains that since he was in his home, it was not public. I told him some grooming should be done in private, and is enhanced with a mirror. He countered that walking around the house brushing one's teeth is acceptable, and besides, we have orgasms in front of each other, so flossing is nonissue. My only small victory was getting him to wash his hands when he returned to the bathroom to dispose of the used floss.
Question: Does this count as public flossing or not? I'm kinda grossed out.
Leslie
Austin, TX
What think you, Slog voters?
1
My boyfriend flosses in front of me all the time, and not once have I ever thought it was gross or weird. I always thought it was normal, but guess I might be in the minority on this one.
2
so your own personal issue/discomfort is more important than ones dental health? 4 out of 5 dentists would disagree.
thank you so much for the STFU option.
thank you so much for the STFU option.
3
Technically I'm with the guy - he's at home with his girlfriend, so it's not public. And if she ever gets married (not necessarily to this guy) she's going to find that, over time, spouses get more and more comfortable about doing stuff like this in front of each other.
That said, it sounds like they haven't been dating long. He needs to be careful about being so comfortable so early. You only do this stuff once love is confirmed and you can't chase her away with your gross habits.
That said, it sounds like they haven't been dating long. He needs to be careful about being so comfortable so early. You only do this stuff once love is confirmed and you can't chase her away with your gross habits.
4
Ew, NO. The sight of it wouldn't bother me, but there are those little flecks that come flying out and should be confined to the bathroom sink, not strewn willy-nilly all over the house. Ew.
5
How about:
Girl: Would you mind not flossing when I can see it?
Guy: It's my house, I'm going to floss wherever I want.
Girl: Fine, but you know how I feel about it. Please warn me before you do it so I can leave the room until you're done.
Problem solved?
Girl: Would you mind not flossing when I can see it?
Guy: It's my house, I'm going to floss wherever I want.
Girl: Fine, but you know how I feel about it. Please warn me before you do it so I can leave the room until you're done.
Problem solved?
6
Boy is she in for a surprise when she finds out that not only does he floss in his own home, he farts, shits and he's sweaty when he comes home from the gym.......
ALERT: he's probably naked underneath his pants right now! ewwwwww-gross....
ALERT: he's probably naked underneath his pants right now! ewwwwww-gross....
8
Keep the floss in the bathroom! It's true that sometimes people grow more familiar as they live together longer. But that doesn't make the nose-picking, farting, and flossing endearing, just something the other person puts up with. Want to stay kissy-kissy? Groom yourself in private.
9
The sig. other is the ONLY person it's OK to floss (or piss) in front of. Close the door when you're doing a poo, though.
10
Here Urgutha, let me finish that conversation for you:
Guy: Why don't you get over your squeamish self and accept that I am trying to promote a healthy dental life in my house. Or would you rather kiss me without me flossing after a meal? It is hard enough getting most people in this nation to floss properly. If I want to do it while im watching the telly to keep myself entertained while I go through with this monotonous task I will do so. If you have an issue with it...there is the door.
Guy: Why don't you get over your squeamish self and accept that I am trying to promote a healthy dental life in my house. Or would you rather kiss me without me flossing after a meal? It is hard enough getting most people in this nation to floss properly. If I want to do it while im watching the telly to keep myself entertained while I go through with this monotonous task I will do so. If you have an issue with it...there is the door.
11
A girlfriend is not a guest, flossing in front of a guest would be gross but a partner is totally fine.
12
The first option isn't quite complete; after all, a girlfriend/boyfriend isn't really the same thing as a "guest." Aren't you sort of agreeing to both the positive AND negative aspects of intimacy when you enter into a relationship proper?
I suppose I'd meet any disagreement halfway, and say that public flossing is, as regards its place in the relationship, like farting, getting fat, or playing air guitar--something only introduced after an ill-defined, but mutually understood, grace period of a couple of months, during which you lie about your appetites, grooming rituals, and habits of character out of courtesy to the new partner. But this seems problematic to me on two fronts: first, in that it fosters perceptions that will appear later to be borne of deception; and second, in that it seems to emerge from fundamentally bourgeois niceties, which I thought punk-listening, sexual boundary-testing, mind-altering chemical-ingesting readers of The Stranger (all noted affectionately, and not without a sense of solidarity) were supposed to eschew reflexively.
Of course, having been married for over 12 years, I can more or less floss anywhere I want.
I suppose I'd meet any disagreement halfway, and say that public flossing is, as regards its place in the relationship, like farting, getting fat, or playing air guitar--something only introduced after an ill-defined, but mutually understood, grace period of a couple of months, during which you lie about your appetites, grooming rituals, and habits of character out of courtesy to the new partner. But this seems problematic to me on two fronts: first, in that it fosters perceptions that will appear later to be borne of deception; and second, in that it seems to emerge from fundamentally bourgeois niceties, which I thought punk-listening, sexual boundary-testing, mind-altering chemical-ingesting readers of The Stranger (all noted affectionately, and not without a sense of solidarity) were supposed to eschew reflexively.
Of course, having been married for over 12 years, I can more or less floss anywhere I want.
14
Thank you for the STFU option.
The only reason I *might* think leslie has a point is that she said NEW beau. New as in a week? Possibly that's too new for full flossing. New as in a month? She's got no case. From the letter I'm guessing that Leslie wouldn't feel comfortable with someone flossing in front of her ever, though.
The only reason I *might* think leslie has a point is that she said NEW beau. New as in a week? Possibly that's too new for full flossing. New as in a month? She's got no case. From the letter I'm guessing that Leslie wouldn't feel comfortable with someone flossing in front of her ever, though.
15
I'm with Dave @13. Seriously, this woman's going to end up like the cat woman on Britain's Got Talent. Except I bet she can't sing.
16
It's all about finding the appropriate balance. It's a give and take - I'm sure there's something she does at home that grosses him out. It's all about compromise. The future Mrs. Hernandez used to insist that I go to the bathroom when I needed to fart. I insisted that she replace the cap on the toothpaste after brushing. In the end we decided that we were both being silly and dropped it.
17
A guy who flosses on the couch in front of a new girlfriend is a guy who will take a dump with the door open. Just so you know.
18
So when they have sex, is that indecent exposure? When he strips to go take a shower, is that public nudity? I don't get this lady's definition of "public." Whatever you do in your home is private. Although I understand she means that the presence of guests changes the dynamic, it's still not "public."
That said, I think it's gross to floss anywhere except the bathroom, because shit flies everywhere. If "new beau" means anything less than many months, then yes, he is way too comfortable.
The SO and I hold conversations while one of us pisses, but that's only since we moved in together.
That said, I think it's gross to floss anywhere except the bathroom, because shit flies everywhere. If "new beau" means anything less than many months, then yes, he is way too comfortable.
The SO and I hold conversations while one of us pisses, but that's only since we moved in together.
19
Also, you must be suffering from serious ADHD to need entertainment while flossing. It takes a few minutes, tops. Isn't it easier just to remain in the bathroom and finish the task rather than taking the time to walk around?
21
This is what we call a warning sign. It will only get worse. If I was the guy I would end the relationship pronto.
22
How are you people flossing so violently that shit flies everywhere? Ins't that uncomfortable?
Anyway, this gal needs to STFU. If a man can't floss in the privacy of his own home, where CAN he floss?
Anyway, this gal needs to STFU. If a man can't floss in the privacy of his own home, where CAN he floss?
23
Yeah, she should get over it, but it's not necessary to insult and ridicule her into getting over it.
Oh wait, I forgot this is slog.
Oh wait, I forgot this is slog.
24
Gloria, there is a difference between NEEDING entertainment while flossing and WANTING entertainment while flossing.
Why the hell wouldn't I want to be entertained doing something monotonous if I can?
And I have to agree with kitschnsync, what kind of violent flossing are you doing that things fly everywhere?
Why the hell wouldn't I want to be entertained doing something monotonous if I can?
And I have to agree with kitschnsync, what kind of violent flossing are you doing that things fly everywhere?
25
I agree with Beau's point about orgasming in front of each other, but 4's point about little pieces flying everywhere wins it. Although, she really needs to count her blessings that she found a person that flosses. I wish that wasn't so GD rare.
Also, @ 22: if you don't see little specks on your mirror when you're finished, you're not doing it right...
Also, @ 22: if you don't see little specks on your mirror when you're finished, you're not doing it right...
26
if she was in the bathroom while he was in the bathroom, then yeah, STFU up. but since he was on the couch, then no, it is a little gross, and he should knock it off if she wants.
28
You're all missing the point here: flossing activity belongs in the bathroom, period!
Whether you're home alone, with your SO or your pious, elderly mother: it makes no difference. Keep that shit in the bathroom! As someone already mentioned, sometimes flossing is messy and you don't want that nasty stuff flying everywhere.
And wash your damn hands afterward, please! In the bathroom sink. Preferably before you wipe your stinky, plaque-covered fingers everywhere.
Whether you're home alone, with your SO or your pious, elderly mother: it makes no difference. Keep that shit in the bathroom! As someone already mentioned, sometimes flossing is messy and you don't want that nasty stuff flying everywhere.
And wash your damn hands afterward, please! In the bathroom sink. Preferably before you wipe your stinky, plaque-covered fingers everywhere.
29
Okay, how about a boyfriend who flosses at the dinner table (while you are still eating mind you), then wraps the floss around the shade holder - for use at some time to be determined later? We lived together for three months. This madness was happening at the first dinner. I complained (hey, still eating here - and what's with saving it?) from the beginning. Flossing continued. Relationship tanked. It's the little inconsiderate decisions that portend greater inconsiderate decisions to come. Come they did. Yes, couples get comfortable - but if something bothers your partner and IT CAN BE DONE ELSEWHERE then why do it in front of them? It's not a choice between her comfort level and his dental health - it's a choice of where to do it. A hint, DVD has pause button!
30
While we're on the subject of grooming, is it ok to clip one's toenails on the couch?
(Assuming of course that all toenail clippings are accounted for afterwards.)
Seems to me it should be- since your feet go on the couch all the time anyway, and up until the moment they were clipped, you're toenails were included in the package.
(Assuming of course that all toenail clippings are accounted for afterwards.)
Seems to me it should be- since your feet go on the couch all the time anyway, and up until the moment they were clipped, you're toenails were included in the package.
31
Wait until she gets to the skid marked underwear, shitting with the door open, jerking-off in the shower and picking his nose at dinner in front of the t.v. phase of the relationship. Girl watches to many Mathew McConaughey Rom-Coms.
32
I spent 4 1/2 years with a man who farted on the first date. Granted, we were outside, but still.
I guaran-fucking-tee it isn't going to get better. Bail, girlfriend, and bail now. You'll never get this time back.
I guaran-fucking-tee it isn't going to get better. Bail, girlfriend, and bail now. You'll never get this time back.
33
Yeah, I'm with 28. Flossing belongs in the bathroom. Farting, nose-picking, those kind of things, that doesn't really bother me.. But flossing is a bathroom activity that you shouldn't be doing on the damn couch.
34
I don't think it's weird to floss around people you know on a personal level, or if you're at home. One definitely has to be considerate about how and when you do it. You don't want shit flying all over the place, or flossing while people are still eating.
35
The only exception to the rule is if it's a hot dental assistant or dentist. They get hard core about flossing, so you have to give them a pass for doing it all the time, provided they're GGG.
36
Flossing creates gross ejecta from the mouth.
It's NOT OKAY to subject any one else to that.
However, it IS OKAY to use toothpicks in public.
Try that angle instead.
It's NOT OKAY to subject any one else to that.
However, it IS OKAY to use toothpicks in public.
Try that angle instead.
38
I close the door when I brush my teeth. Even when it's just the boyfriend. No one needs to see that.
39
From Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior:
"It strikes Miss Manners as misguided to believe that home is a place where you needn't bother to be polite. Home should be a place where you can relax because you know that there, unlike in the rest of the world, no one will be impolite to you. There is enough rudeness in the streets without inviting it indoors."
If it grosses someone out and you do it in front of them anyway, it's rude -- especially if it's at home in front of company.
That said, I don't know if I would tell her to dump him because he's inconsiderate, or tell him to dump her because she's controlling. Maybe they could have an actual conversation about it: whoever refuses to compromise should be dumped right away.
"It strikes Miss Manners as misguided to believe that home is a place where you needn't bother to be polite. Home should be a place where you can relax because you know that there, unlike in the rest of the world, no one will be impolite to you. There is enough rudeness in the streets without inviting it indoors."
If it grosses someone out and you do it in front of them anyway, it's rude -- especially if it's at home in front of company.
That said, I don't know if I would tell her to dump him because he's inconsiderate, or tell him to dump her because she's controlling. Maybe they could have an actual conversation about it: whoever refuses to compromise should be dumped right away.
40
If you pee with the door open, than flossing next to someone is ok.
Especially if you're not facing each other.
Especially if you're not facing each other.
41
This is more analogous to returning to the couch with a bedpan and doing your business because "it's my house." Work out your boundaries as a couple. I've been married a long time and there is no farting in front of each other.
42
@41 That's tough. I made it very clear shortly after I proposed that farting is a bodily function that will inevitably happen sometimes while we're in close proximity to each other, so there's no point in making rules about it. Thankfully, she is a logical, practical woman and agreed with me.
44
Flossing and nail clipping belong in the bathroom. Both produce external tidbits that need containment. I hate it when people clip their nails in the office/on the bus/etc. Disgusting!
45
I think you people have weird hangups. Is it ok to blow your nose in public? That produces external tidbits that inevitably escape the tissue.
Chill out people. Flossing on the bus is gross because it could spread illness. But clipping fingernails... what's the big deal?
Chill out people. Flossing on the bus is gross because it could spread illness. But clipping fingernails... what's the big deal?
46
Clipping nails in the bathroom is not acceptable, 'cuz when you get out of the shower and step in all those little sharp bits, ow. Go ahead, do it in the living room and vacuum afterward.
48
Sure it's his house, but the point is that it bothers *her*. A considerate guy would take that into account and floss in the bathroom.
Personally I'm just trying to get my husband to brush his damn teeth every other day or so. If he were to start flossing on the couch I'd probably have a spontaneous orgasm.
Personally I'm just trying to get my husband to brush his damn teeth every other day or so. If he were to start flossing on the couch I'd probably have a spontaneous orgasm.
49
Of course everyone flosses, poops, clips their toenails... but does that mean you need an audience? It's sad that people are so quick to abandon any pretense of mystery.
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