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News & ArtsTuesday, April 14, 2009
Crime News from the Animal Kingdom
Posted by Charles Mudede on Tue, Apr 14, 2009 at 4:08 PM
Yesterday, the bloody SEALS; today, the fucking dolphins!
China View reports:
Thousands of dolphins blocked the suspected Somali pirate ships when they were trying to attack Chinese merchant ships passing the Gulf of Aden, the China Radio International reported on Monday.Wow. These are hard times for khat-chewing Somali pirates.
4
Obama had to call in a solid favor from the Justice League for this.
Who's ripping on Aquaman NOW? That's right, motherfuckers..
Who's ripping on Aquaman NOW? That's right, motherfuckers..
10
The dolphins were probably deafened by the US Navy sonar (source: NYT today, print edition, go buy it yourself)
11
"Wow. These are hard times for khat-chewing Somali pirates."
That is because they are low-intelligence evolutionary dead-ends.
That is because they are low-intelligence evolutionary dead-ends.
13
Does this mean we owe them? 'cuz, I mean, there's a reason I buy bargain basement tuna, if you catch my drift.
14
Whoa, China View (news.xinhuanet.com) is peppered with some amazing headlines, including: Chinese Central Authorities Order Officials to Meet Complaining Folks on Regular Base, and the contextually funny, Obamas Host First White House Egg Roll. Sorry, I'm 12.
16
I wish one of these tinhorn dictators would give us a reason to drop a MOAB on his palace.
Just one. I mean, we can evacuate all the peasants...but just one good MOAB to clear the air.
I wish one of these tinhorn dictators would give us a reason to drop a MOAB on his palace.
Just one. I mean, we can evacuate all the peasants...but just one good MOAB to clear the air.
18
That kind of behavior in Dolphins usually means they are desperately trying to get out of the water to get away from sonar or some other sort of audible sound. It's totally lame to cover it up with "look at our cetacean heroes!" news brief. A similar phenomenon was observed in the San Juans last week when navy subs went blasting through Haro Strait.
21
I, too, lament my littleness before the vast number of dolphins ... or before vast numbers of just about anything, for that matter.
24
I'm with the navy trained ninja dolphins on this one, they'll probably lie and blame the sonar as well though.
26
There's a pseudo Sci-fi book about this where all the sea creatures try to take over the world (what the hell is it called....?)Waaaaay too long...
The Simpsons did a spoof on it where Lisa tries to save the Dolphins and they turn on the humans and take over.
What the f was that book called?
The Simpsons did a spoof on it where Lisa tries to save the Dolphins and they turn on the humans and take over.
What the f was that book called?
27
Two thoughts:
Are the Chinese now using dolphins as navy-controlled heroin-addicted bio-weapons?
Why don't the Chinese escort all their merchant ships with their enormous submarine fleet?
Beautiful trap: "un-escorted" merchant ship, pirates attack, submarine torpedos them. End of pirates.
Third Thought:
Pirates are the new Terrorists.
Are the Chinese now using dolphins as navy-controlled heroin-addicted bio-weapons?
Why don't the Chinese escort all their merchant ships with their enormous submarine fleet?
Beautiful trap: "un-escorted" merchant ship, pirates attack, submarine torpedos them. End of pirates.
Third Thought:
Pirates are the new Terrorists.
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