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News & ArtsMonday, April 13, 2009
??!! Polar Bear "Attacks" Idiot
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Mon, Apr 13, 2009 at 11:25 AM
Can it really be considered an attack when the person basically crawls into the bear's mouth?
Why do people keep climbing into the enclosures of notably bitey animals at zoos?
You've got to see the photo.
UPDATE: And the video.
Thank you, Slog tipper Reggie.
1
I saw that photo yesterday and thought for sure it was photoshopped. But, no, apparently someone actually is that stupid.
3
the german gov't should make a deal w/her: we'll pay for cosmetic surgery on these wounds if you let the doctors tie your tubes while they're at it.
8
Technically not a Darwin Award, since she survived (and can still propagate). Still, a worthy attempt. Purposely jumping into an enclosure of bears, during feeding time no less. Well done!!1!
If these bears are punished in any way, it will be a gross miscarriage of justice.
If these bears are punished in any way, it will be a gross miscarriage of justice.
9
Man, I can think of dozens of ways I might want to off myself, but "getting eaten by bear" is seriously, seriously a messed up way to go. Netflix "The Edge" if you don't believe me.
10
why does this invariably happen in germany? 'bout eight years ago some scheisskopf did this in another teutonic zoo. the bears just ignored him. the headline in the sun said 'i can't bear it anymore!'.
13
the zoo authorities stated that the bears would not be punished in any way, due to the fact that they're fucking bears and that's what bears tend to do. one of the bears she approached was a famous cub raised by people, so i'm guessing she thought it would be all friendly and stuff. but there was three other non-human-raised bears in there too and those bears were the ones that stole her sweater.
i think what needs to be noted is that if these bears did in fact "viciously attack" this woman, she would be dead and everyone witnessing the event would have barfed. that bear was playing with her...i hate sensationalistic journalism.
i think what needs to be noted is that if these bears did in fact "viciously attack" this woman, she would be dead and everyone witnessing the event would have barfed. that bear was playing with her...i hate sensationalistic journalism.
14
follow the link to the story and watch the video. Bears don't look really committed to killing or anything, more like they are driven by agressive curiousity. It's why I'm glad I'm much much bigger than my cats...
19
What douglas@13 said. A vicious polar bear is a very different thing. That woman was very, very, very lucky. Also, I hope these bears do not now have a taste for human flesh. I plan to ride to Prudhoe one of these days. I would be very pissed if I got eaten by this bear because of her stupidity.
20
Ok, she just missed being a Darwin Award winner. That award instead goes to this guy.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnew…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnew…
23
Oh, but they look so cute. Surely they must be harmless.
I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often with pandas.
I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often with pandas.
24
Everyone should watch the VIDEO. It's hilarious. I hate to be mean, but...she could have easily been mistake for a seal. She is lucky they didn't kill her.
26
@24 - OK, I am a horrible person, but that really was hilarious.
@19 - unless polar bears share some sort of universal hive mind, I doubt the one that eats you in Alaska will do so because the one that chomped this woman in Berlin sent out a message saying humans are yummy.
@19 - unless polar bears share some sort of universal hive mind, I doubt the one that eats you in Alaska will do so because the one that chomped this woman in Berlin sent out a message saying humans are yummy.
27
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHHIl2Lkx…
The video is like a horror film- the polar bears are circling, and just a one dives below the surface to devour her, they lift her to safety...
that is, until she falls out of the rescue float straight into the maw of her pursuer.
The video is like a horror film- the polar bears are circling, and just a one dives below the surface to devour her, they lift her to safety...
that is, until she falls out of the rescue float straight into the maw of her pursuer.
29
Do you remember that Tim fellow who followed grizzlies around blowing kisses and singing happy birthday? He was also eaten. His visiting girlfriend cowered in the tent while he was screaming "I'm being eaten... please help!" A video camera was running in the tent so only the sound was recording. He was yelling she should hit the bear with something so it would stop chewing him. She complied and was eaten as well. Some people are soooo stupid.
30
lucky kraut. polar bears are mean mo fos. these bears were obviously not interested in tearing her to pieces or they were bored.
32
I love how the opening sentence in the CNN story develops.
"A polar bear attacked a woman at Berlin Zoo Friday afternoon....": Okay, this could go a few directions. Maybe the bear escaped and went on a woman-biting rampage. Maybe she fell in the bear's lair.....
"... after she climbed a fence and jumped into its habitat...": Oh, so she wanted to be in there. With polar bears. hmmm
"... during feeding time ....": That must be the least opportune time to snuggle with polar bears. Or was she trying to get their food? Odd, then, that she nearly became the object of her desire.
I have zero sympathy for that fool. I hope she gets a bill for the ambulance, EMTs, zoo personnel, etc. that had to save her dumb ass. And, if any actual accident victim in Berlin suffered for one extra second because this ambulance was directed to collect this idiot, well, then she should pay those victims for their suffering. What a waste of resources.
So, here's to the bears: Congratulations, bears! You done good. Just next time, don't release your jaws or get bugged out by a bright red life preserver.
"A polar bear attacked a woman at Berlin Zoo Friday afternoon....": Okay, this could go a few directions. Maybe the bear escaped and went on a woman-biting rampage. Maybe she fell in the bear's lair.....
"... after she climbed a fence and jumped into its habitat...": Oh, so she wanted to be in there. With polar bears. hmmm
"... during feeding time ....": That must be the least opportune time to snuggle with polar bears. Or was she trying to get their food? Odd, then, that she nearly became the object of her desire.
I have zero sympathy for that fool. I hope she gets a bill for the ambulance, EMTs, zoo personnel, etc. that had to save her dumb ass. And, if any actual accident victim in Berlin suffered for one extra second because this ambulance was directed to collect this idiot, well, then she should pay those victims for their suffering. What a waste of resources.
So, here's to the bears: Congratulations, bears! You done good. Just next time, don't release your jaws or get bugged out by a bright red life preserver.
33
Her family needs to sue coca-cola...all those damn, cute Christmas ads with adorable polar bears drinking coke has obviously messed with people's brains.
34
Where was the Bear Patrol during this attack? My taxes are paying for them to keep the bears controlled.
35
@29,
No, he told her to run, but she decided to hit the bear with a frying pan instead. Then the bear ate her. There's a whole movie about it. It's good. You should watch it.
No, he told her to run, but she decided to hit the bear with a frying pan instead. Then the bear ate her. There's a whole movie about it. It's good. You should watch it.
36
Obviously it was a suicide attempt. Hopefully the woman will get the help that she needs. I didn't find the video terribly funny myself...
37
@29 That was a great Herzog film..that guy was an effin moron...it was like the bears could sense his CRAZY and tolerated him until one day they just couldn't.
I think Richard Thompson did the music for it to, which made it even better.
I think Richard Thompson did the music for it to, which made it even better.
38
That woman is incredibly lucky to be alive. Remember the boy who was half eaten by a polar bear at the Prospect Park Zoo in 1987? Only half eaten because the bears were killed by police.
39
@26: I meant that they might release the bear someday, and that it would be my luck that he would wander over to Alaska (the Arctic is one big ice flow most of the year) and eat me right off my motorcycle.
45
I would rephrase the article as "Polar bears defend themselves from crazed home invader."
But I'm glad that the zoo keepers are saying they don't plan to do anything about the polar bears because *they reacted exactly the way they should under the circumstances*. Check it out, take a nibble, see if it's edible.
I think they should have left her in.
But I'm glad that the zoo keepers are saying they don't plan to do anything about the polar bears because *they reacted exactly the way they should under the circumstances*. Check it out, take a nibble, see if it's edible.
I think they should have left her in.
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