Monday, April 6, 2009
Life The Return of Scruples™!
Posted by Lindy West on Mon, Apr 6, 2009 at 1:37 PM
Anyone remember Scruple™ of the Day?
Did you miss Scruple™ of the Day?
Well, two more Scruple™ cards have surfaced!* And they're two of my all-time favorites. Not so many retarded brothers and homosexual teachers, but I find both to be subtly hilarious.
Chew on these bitchez:
"You've been looking for a small cassette player. A street vendor is selling them for $20. Do you buy one?"
Uhhh, yes? ...No? Wait, what's your question?
"Someone extends his/her friendship but you aren't interested. Later you learn that this person is a legal wizard. You need legal advice desperately and have no money. Do you call him/her?."
ONLY IF HE/SHE SHOWS ME HIS/HER WIZARDING LICENSE.
It's a question of Scruples™, people.
*Courtesy of my friend Hester, who MADE THEM INTO EARRINGS FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
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2
If you find yourself in poverty and beset by legal troubles after snubbing a wizard, what you have there is a curse. You're cursed and you have only yourself to blame, you poor, sad bastard. Where's your god now, huh? Huh?
3
Someone pushes a couple of paperclips through two old Trivial Pursuit cards and glues some broken glass on the bottom, and then gives them to you as "earrings".
Do you wear them?
Do you wear them?
5
Buying used cassette decks is for suckers, that's always the first thing to break of all your components - but sure, go ahead. Maybe if you weren't such a dick to "legal wizards" that wanted to be friends with, you could've had some recourse from the guy who sold you the bunk tape deck. Same goes for other types of wizards... and street justice.
7
Thankfully the war on illegal wizards that raged for much of the 80's and 90's was a stunning success and now we don't have worry about such questions anymore.
9
this game is so weird. the implication that a street vendor is ethically questionable in some inherent way is coming from a place i don't understand. it strikes me as being very conservative or something....
12
"Not so many retarded brothers and homosexual teachers, but I find both to be subtly hilarious."
This sentence makes no sense to me.
This sentence makes no sense to me.
13
No to both.
You can get a cassette player for less than $10 at Goodwill.
There are other legal wizards out there and do you really want to hire the guy you rejected as a friend?
You can get a cassette player for less than $10 at Goodwill.
There are other legal wizards out there and do you really want to hire the guy you rejected as a friend?
14
#6, #8, Lindy West is not incontinent and I would appreciate it if you would cease any such insinuations.
And yes, Lindy, as a matter of fact I *did* miss Scruple of the Day.
And yes, Lindy, as a matter of fact I *did* miss Scruple of the Day.
15
@12 Just please click on the links that Ms West has so kindly provided for you and all of your questions will be answered.
16
@9 I think the assumption of questionable ethics is due to the unusually low price of $20 for a portable cassette player, i.e. it was probably stolen. I think they were a bit more expensive back in the 80's.
17
The Ungame is far, far stranger than Scruples.
My favorite Ungame card:
My favorite Ungame card:
Say something about ghosts.
18
Someone extends his/her friendship but you aren't interested. Later you learn that this person is a DRUG DEALER. You need DRUGS desperately and have no money. Do you call him/her?
19
@16 that's a pretty good point, except that the game makes a point of stating that it's a small cassette player, meaning that it could be any old walkman. i get the impression that the intended audience of scruples are the kind of people who would look down upon street vendors for no other reason than they're street vendors. but you could be right, i don't know what a tape player cost in 1986...
21
If someone tried to sell you an ipod on the street for $20, what would you say then? The cassette player/ipod is obviously stolen. And if it's in the original carton, it's probably not even there; they've just substituted an appropriately-weighted brick.
22
I desperately miss Scruple Of the Day!
@9: I believe the street vendor implication is that the cassette players are stolen merchandise. Buying one is why you need the legal wizard later in the game.
I do still want to know how this game is scored. Do you get points for giving the most moral answer?
(Alternately, Question Land might be the perfect medium for Scruple Of the Day.)
@9: I believe the street vendor implication is that the cassette players are stolen merchandise. Buying one is why you need the legal wizard later in the game.
I do still want to know how this game is scored. Do you get points for giving the most moral answer?
(Alternately, Question Land might be the perfect medium for Scruple Of the Day.)
23
Hi-larious! "Legal wizard" indeed. I made a funny noise trying not to laugh out loud at that one.
24
You've just knocked up the Governor's daughter. You have zero interest in getting married, much less raising a kid, but the Governor is running for vice-pres of the U.S. and is over-the-top republican and conservative.
Do you marry the bitch or hit the talk-show circuit?
Do you marry the bitch or hit the talk-show circuit?
25
@21 well, first, there is a big difference between an ipod and a cassette player. if someone were to offer me an ipod for twenty bucks i would naturally assume it to be stolen, even if it were first generation. but a tape player, some dinky walkman, i would think twenty bucks to be reasonable, even if i imagine myself in the inflation adjusted times of the mid 80s.
second, when one says street vendor, i don't automatically think of some guy in an alley selling stuff out of his trench coat. i live in new york and there are tons of street vendors all over the place, many of them are indeed sketchy, but not inherently so. in fact i get the best produce in the city off a local street vendor.
third, who's this "they" who are putting bricks in ipod boxes? you sound kinda paranoid to me. being street smart and being cynical are two different things.
perhaps this is the point of the game, to require people to examine their assumptions about the world around them. i may have underestimated scruples. it seems that my answer would definitely be DEPENDS. but i would never ask a legal wizard for anything, especially a scorned legal wizard.
second, when one says street vendor, i don't automatically think of some guy in an alley selling stuff out of his trench coat. i live in new york and there are tons of street vendors all over the place, many of them are indeed sketchy, but not inherently so. in fact i get the best produce in the city off a local street vendor.
third, who's this "they" who are putting bricks in ipod boxes? you sound kinda paranoid to me. being street smart and being cynical are two different things.
perhaps this is the point of the game, to require people to examine their assumptions about the world around them. i may have underestimated scruples. it seems that my answer would definitely be DEPENDS. but i would never ask a legal wizard for anything, especially a scorned legal wizard.
26
Douglas, I'm sure you're very nice, but you aren't faring too well in this discussion. It's beautiful outside today. Go ride your bike!
27
This link has a clipping of an ad from the 80's for Walkmen and Walkman clones: http://www.pocketcalculatorshow.com/walk…
They range from $69 for a cheapie Toshiba to a $350 for a high end JVC, with $105 for the genuine Walkman.
They range from $69 for a cheapie Toshiba to a $350 for a high end JVC, with $105 for the genuine Walkman.
30
Lindy, by any chance, were you eating lunch with Stranger staff/hiptard friends at Rancho Bravo today? I thought I saw someone who looked like you, but wasn't really sure.
31
@15 --- please note that i commented in that very link. The "sentence" I am referencing here is a fragment, doofus....
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