...North Carolina is beating Michigan State 68-52 in the NCAA men's basketball championship game, which I neglected to mention earlier.
The Mariners also smacked the crap out of the Minnesota Twins. Griffey hit a homer.

Especially when he says something like this:
"One of the great strengths of the United States," the President said, "is ... we have a very large Christian population — we do not consider ourselves a Christian nation or a Jewish nation or a Muslim nation. We consider ourselves a nation of citizens who are bound by ideals and a set of values."
He's dreamy.
One of the ad designers: "Mary, I need a dick! Can you send me one? Preferably long and pink!"
Seattle Police are searching for a group of teenage girls who appear to be robbing and beating women along the #73 bus line.
On Friday night, officers responded to several robbery reports in the University District area involving a group of three teenage girls.
The first incident, police say, occurred at about 11:30pm outside an apartment building at 58th and Cowen, where the group of girls approached a woman and asked for money and to be let inside of the woman's apartment building. When the woman refused, the teens chased her to the front entrance of her building and grabbed her before she was able to get inside
The report says two of the girls punched woman in the face and body, pushed her to the ground, kicked her, and grabbed her head, "repeatedly smash[ing] it into the door frame."
The group of teens then ran from the scene without taking anything.
According to another police report, about 15 minutes later the group of teens approached a 22-year-old woman in an alley near her apartment on NE 45th and 16th Ave NE.
The report says the group of teens—described by the 22-year-old woman as "well dressed"—approached the woman and asked if they could use her phone. After making a phone call, the teens asked the woman for a dollar for bus fare. After the woman handed over a few dollars, one of the teenage girls tried to grab her purse. The woman refused to let go and struggled with the teens until one of the girls threw an apple at her and fled.
After the apple attack, police believe the girls boarded a #73 Metro bus and attacked another woman on 115th and 15th Ave NE a half-hour later. A Metro driver told police he recalled seeing the teens get on his bus in Lake City at about 8pm, and later dropped them off in the same area.
The police report notes that the group of teens may also have been involved in a robbery/assault on April 2nd in the 4200 block of University Way and a purse snatching in Lake City on the 3rd.
The University of Washington has sent out a safety notice to students about the robberies.
I would have to agree with your recent column about the general safety of online hookups via websites like Craig's List. I am a normal, sane, intelligent and emotionally healthy woman who just happens to be horny. After years of fantasizing about it I responded to an ad in the Casual Encounters section... and then another one, and yes even a few more. Who have I met ? A biochemist, an executive for a gaming company, and an Italian journalist who is my current lover. All were wonderfully safe, intelligent fun guys who also happened to be horny (and I might add like older plus size women). This a perfect place for people to indulge in specific tastes and preferences.I do follow your guidelines and always verify identities via a Google search before meeting in a public place. Yup, there were many guys who just didn't make the cut and were kinda creepy but if you use common sense and trust your gut feelings chances are you will be pleasantly surprised at the quality of people you can meet in this way.
Of course I have my limits. I have a fantasy of a stranger coming in my bedroom unannounced and having his way with me by force. I'd never go looking online for this to be fulfilled. I'm sorry George Weber made the unwise decision to do just that, nobody should have to die for fulfilling their kinkiness.
Happy CL Cruiser
You’re doing everything right, HCLC, but for the record: sometimes people who do everything right—get real names and numbers, meet in public first, trust their guts—wind up dead. There are no guarantees. And while people have been murdered by folks they met in bars, at work, through friends, etc., I'd say that online hookups are riskier. So they require more caution and vigilance than, say, heading out on a date with someone you met through a friend. We all need what to do what we can to minimize our risks, take all reasonable precautions, etc., however we meet people, and hopefully we'll all live long enough to die of old age.
Meanwhile in Vermont...
The Human Rights Campaign, the nation's largest lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) civil rights organization, came out in strong opposition to today's veto by Governor Douglas of marriage equality legislation. The bill, S. 115, which would provide marriage rights to lesbian and gay couples, passed the Vermont State Senate by a vote of 26 to 4 and the Vermont State House of Representatives by a vote of 95 to 52....Shortly after the House and Senate versions of the bill were reconciled today, Governor Douglas fulfilled his threat to veto the legislation, sending it back to the Vermont legislature for an override vote which is expected to take place soon.
If Governor Douglas had just signed the bill, or let it become law without his signature, the debate would be over, and the legislature could focus on more important things than, you know, the equality of the citizens of Vermont under the law. I mean, pfft! But no, he vetoed it... so it goes back to the legislature, which will now waste time attempting to override the governor's veto.
Or... has anyone asked the governor for a measure of economic health that would allow him to sign this bill? If his only reason for opposing this civil-rights legislation is our current economic plight, will the governor pledge to sign a gay marriage bill if the unemployment rate falls to, say, six percent? Five? Four?
UPDATE: And meanwhile in Iowa... some disturbing developments.
I've received word from people on the ground in Iowa that anti-gay groups in Iowa are rallying to put pressure on the legislature and Governor Chet Culver to pass an amendment to the state constitution to nullify Friday’s court ruling. While leading lawmakers Senate Majority Leader and Mike Gronstal and House Speaker Pat Murphy have thrown their full support behind the ruling, Culver is something of a wild card...
Andy at Towleroad has more. You can contact Culver's office via email and by phone (515.281.5211)—and urge him not to amend the Iowa constitution, or call a special session.
Your official, binding, not-Federal-Reserve-approved vote on the proper name for Seattle's new local currency:

...and by far the best thing I bought was the first issue of Boom Studios' Muppet Show comic book by Roger Landridge, who drew the great Fred the Clown comic book back in the day.
Even those endearingly gruff and snooty cartoon snobs over at Fantagraphics Books loved the Muppet Show comic book. Eric Reynolds says:
It's a very well done comic. I can't say I flipped over it. I mean, it's a Muppets comic. But it's the goddamn best motherfucking licensed Muppets comic you could ever imagine...It plays to the strengths of the creator and the creation. Hell, it's not just well-done, it's impeccably well done.
This is a perfect comic book for kids. It's got singing and dancing and Statler and Waldorf and the Swedish Chef and a real, complete story with an emotional climax and a resolution and so on and so forth. You can read the first eleven pages over here. Most comics shops in Seattle are currently sold out of it, but it will be reprinting very soon. This is the best single issue of a comic book I've read in forever. I'm totally serious.
The story: An abusive dad (took parenting classes after assaulting one of his children a few years ago) kills himself and his five children after learning his wife (the children's mother), who fled several days before, is with another man.
The headline*: "Breakup Ignited Dad's Deadly Rage"
The definition: Ignite: To set afire; to set in motion
The lesson: A man rapes a woman; the woman "is raped." A man kills five children and blames a woman, the woman "ignites" the man's actions. Her actions set him off; his actions were prompted, involuntary.
Or, as Shakespeare's Sister put it, "Yep—Mom did it."
*from the Seattle Times, where most commenters are blaming the woman for a) being a slut ("I hope you had a good time) or b) fleeing (she "obviously cared for herself only and her comforts")
•Baseball season is underway and the Mariners play their season opener against the Minnesota Twins tonight at 5pm.
•The Sounders remain undefeated after beating the Toronto FC 2-0 on Saturday (zzzzzzzzz).
•WSU has a new men's basketball coach.
•The NFL draft is still 18 days away.
•This is a picture of John Kruk:

•This is not


Wallingford's longtime favorite Italian restaurant will be featured on Food Network's Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives tonight at 10 p.m.
Which one is Bizzarro supposed to be? Definitely not a drive-in; diner, not so much. And most dives don't make their own pasta and sausages. Whatever—it's for the teevee! Here's a bunch of people who not only look like the host of the show ("Guy's trademark bleached blond spiky hair, rough and tumble tats and distinct fashion sense"), they've uploaded their photos with pride to the Food Network website.
If you love Bizzarro, you might think about going now while you can. The show's producer said that places get insanely busy after the episodes air, and that Bizzarro can expect calls from DD&D fanatics who follow in the show's footsteps asking where the nearest hotels are.
Here are some of the questions the students had for me when I spoke at WWU on Saturday night.
What advice do you have for making a long-distance relationship work?
Where can one find information on research studies concerning the psychological effects on children with homosexual parents?
Do you want the Sonics back?
How does one get into BDSM? Thanks!
Danny Boy, what is your favorite feature on a woman’s body?
What is the color-key to the back-pocket handkerchiefs code?
What’s the best way to become on of the tech-savvy, at-risk youth that works for you?
If someone cheats, can you trust him/her not to do it again?
Here are some of my answers: don’t ask, don’t tell; look for Kim in Portland’s comments on Slog posts like this one; nah, the Sounders are hotter in every sense of the word; I think you mean, "Thank you, sir"; her boyfriend's body; Google it yourself; first, make sure you can fit into the TSAR youth uniform; what makes you think you can trust someone who hasn’t cheated?
Isn't it totally great that we've got a president who loves America...

...and will fight the Dark Lord of the Sith to preserve our freedoms?

Yes, It totally is. He deserves his own action figure or something.
Via Gizmodo

The rumor that Carrie Fisher's contract with the Seattle Rep forbids entry to any patron who shows up in Star Wars drag? Unconfirmed.
(But hinted at by a Rep administrative employee: "The Star Wars thing is kind of foggy; depends on the day that we ask and her mood.")
The rumor that she's been given tacit permission by the Rep to smoke in her dressing room? Confirmed.
An email from the inside:
"She is a big chain smoker (i.e. wonder where she is going to do that?) and drinks gallons of Coke Zero... she surrounds herself in glitter - both on stage and off. We did take portions of the Road to Mecca set (with all of the glitter) and create these amazing "wall hangings" for her dressing room.
How did Fisher's show wind up in Seattle? Some season-juggling problems with getting A Winter People, by Chay Yew (based on The Cherry Orchard):
"It was Ben's connections that brought the show via Berkley Rep and Jonathan Reinis," says Rep p.r. person Katie Jackman. "They had been working Ben on the opportunity for a while. It all went down when David [Esbjornsen] was in Greece on vacation and we found out that LaJolla wasn't going to co-produce Winter People."
Anyway: Maybe we can test rumor number one by sending Jonah (or was it Paul?) to review...

You can buy copies of Wishful Drinking at Powell's.
A man shot himself to death about halfway through a screening of Watchmen at a Eugene theater.
Why? Because I know that secretly, some of you give a crap.
This morning, elusive city finance director Dwight Dively (best known to reporters by his voice-mail message, which invariably begins, "I'll be in the office starting at 6:00 this morning, but will be in meetings most of the day...) sat down with reporters in the Norm Rice conference room on the seventh floor of city hall to discuss the latest revenue forecasts for the city, released today. The lowlights:
•Nationally, the economy is doing worse than anybody predicted. By the end of the year, Dively said, national unemployment is expected to hit 10 percent. "It's the worst recession since the Great Depression." However, the local impact will probably be less than that of the recession that hit between 2001 and 2003, because "the employers that are getting killed nationally, like the automakers, aren't here."
•Still, things don't look good for Seattle city government. The latest projections, an update on projections released last November, show a $29.5 million shortfall for 2009. Added to a $13.3 million shortfall in 2008, that's nearly $43 million that needs to be cut before the end of 2009 in order to balance the budget. The projection for 2010—which Dively acknowledged is "really squishy"--shows a $41 million shortfall for that year alone.
•The biggest reason for the shortfall is that people are saving more and spending less. “The people who still have jobs are saving a lot of money because they’re afraid they’re going to lose their jobs," Dively said. The more people save, the less they spend, and the less sales tax revenues there are at all levels of government. In Seattle, sales tax revenues are expected to drop nearly 11 percent. Construction sales taxes make up about a quarter of all sales tax revenues; those, too, are declining dramatically—the drop in construction sales taxes in 2009, Dively said, will be "the biggest decline since we started keeping records"—as developers finish projects and don't start new ones. The city's general fund—the biggest chunk of the city budget—is about 20 percent sales tax-funded. Meanwhile, business & occupation taxes are projected to drop just over 8 percent in 2009. Sales taxes and B&O taxes, combined, make up about 40 percent of the city's revenue. Things could be worse: At the state level, about two-thirds of all general-fund revenues come from sales and B&O taxes.
•Although they don't go into the general fund (and thus don't contribute to the $43 million 2008/2009 shortfall), real-estate excise taxes (REET)—the taxes paid each time a piece of real estate changes hands—are projected to drop by about a third. Those taxes pay for major capital construction projects—things like parks, police and fire stations, and shops where city vehicles are repaired; the decline, Dively said, will mean that funding major maintenance projects, such as parks improvements, will be cut "by about half." The REET shortfall won't affect projects that are already underway or contracted (like fire station upgrades, a top priority for the mayor's office) or projects that are funded by other sources (like paving projects being funded by the the 2006 Bridging the Gap ballot measure).
•The city will probably make up the 2009 shortfall with a combination of departmental budget cuts (all departments have been asked to find cuts of between 1.5 and 3 percent) and money from the city's "rainy day" reserve fund, which contains about $30 million. (The reserves come from automatic deposits made every year the city has a surplus over budget projections, and at the city council and mayor's discretion. In 2010, Dively said, city departments will have to make "more significant cuts," especially if the shortfall turns out to be greater than the city is currently projecting.
Check out Dively's presentation for yourself (PDF) here.
Anyone remember Scruple™ of the Day?
Did you miss Scruple™ of the Day?
Well, two more Scruple™ cards have surfaced!* And they're two of my all-time favorites. Not so many retarded brothers and homosexual teachers, but I find both to be subtly hilarious.
Chew on these bitchez:

"You've been looking for a small cassette player. A street vendor is selling them for $20. Do you buy one?"
Uhhh, yes? ...No? Wait, what's your question?

"Someone extends his/her friendship but you aren't interested. Later you learn that this person is a legal wizard. You need legal advice desperately and have no money. Do you call him/her?."
ONLY IF HE/SHE SHOWS ME HIS/HER WIZARDING LICENSE.
It's a question of Scruples™, people.
*Courtesy of my friend Hester, who MADE THEM INTO EARRINGS FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
I wonder if she felt it?

Now, for only 4 to 6 dollars more than your standard paperback, you can pay Penguin to print your dedication and a photo in the front page of a classic (public domain) paperback:
You can personalize any book - For family, for friends... or for You! It's Easy — and Fun!
At least the shipping is free. I don't know why, if you were looking for a sentimental gift, you wouldn't buy an attractive used copy of Walden or The Age of Innocence or whatever and personalize it, you know, in your own writing.
Nearly 100,000 AT&T employees let their contracts expire Saturday and—while they stay on the job—are now threatening to strike at any moment. The Communications Workers of America, the union representing AT&T’s programmers and technicians, claims the company’s vow to double health care costs and cut employees this year is unacceptable. They have rejected AT&T’s proposed contract and say the company has been slow to offer an alternative.
A few hundred of the employees are in Washington; a bulk of the Texas-based company's crew works in the southeast.
“This company is successful,” says Candice Johnson, a spokeswoman for CWA. “Demanding big cutbacks for workers doesn’t make sense.” She points out that AT&T stands to make substantial profits in 2009, but has meanwhile vowed to cut 12,000 jobs. “In these bad economic times, AT&T could be doing a lot to help the economy recover. Cutting jobs and benefits is not a way” to do that, she says.
Strategically, it’s unclear which side currently holds the upper hand. The poor economy gives AT&T the luxury of a rich pool of replacement employees and the potential to bust the union. On the other hand, the union’s workers could step off the job at an inopportune moment for AT&T.
“We are working without contracts and keeping the option open to pursue a strike when it makes sense,” says Johnson. “It could happen at any time.”
CWA continues to negotiate with AT&T, which has not replied to requests for comment.
Today in humongously popular authors:
Apparently, Michael Crichton had a completed novel, titled Pirate Latitudes, just sitting on his computer. It's a pirate "adventure story set in Jamaica in the 17th century," and it will be released in November. I liked Crichton's period novels, maybe more than his techno-thrillers. All his research really paid off when he was writing about a specific time, as in The Great Train Robbery. Unfortunately, Crichton's publisher is going to hire someone to finish the techno-thriller that Crichton was working on at the time of his death. It was only one-third finished.
And then, Stephen King announced that he's going to have a novel coming out at about the same time as Crichton's pirate novel:
Weighing in at a whopping 1,120 pages, Under the Dome is a return for the bestselling author to the arm-breaking heft of his classic novels The Stand and It. King told an audience at the Library of Congress in Washington DC last year that he'd first had the idea for the book 25 years ago, and made a stab at writing it. "I tried this once before when I was a lot younger, but the project was just too big for me and I let it go, I let it slide," he said. "But it was a terrific idea and it never entirely left my mind. It just kinda stayed there and hung out, and every now and then it would say write me, and eventually I did."Set in the town of Chester's Mills, Maine, "on an entirely normal, beautiful fall day", inhabitants suddenly find that the town has been sealed off by an invisible force field.
King's been putting out some really, really bad novels lately (Duma Key and Cell were both shit,) and this could very well be some kind of milestone for him. I think I'm going to have to read it.
Single ladies! A must-see YouTube personal ad from a sweet boy from Michigan! Rrrow!
Example one:
A father who shot and killed his five children in their Washington state home before killing himself had argued with his wife over another man before the shootings, police said.Authorities found the children, ages 7 to 16, dead in their Pierce County home Saturday afternoon, and the father, James Harrison, was found dead inside his SUV in adjacent King County, Detective Ed Troyer told CNN Radio Sunday. Police said Harrison committed suicide by shooting himself with a rifle.
Troyer said that on Friday night, Harrison and his 16-year-old daughter found his wife with another man. The couple argued, and then Harrison and his daughter returned to the family home near Tacoma without his wife, Troyer said.
At the home, Harrison and the children held a family meeting with other relatives, Troyer said.
The relatives left, and later that night Harrison shot all five of his children — four girls and one boy — as they slept in their beds, Troyer said.
Example two:
A 911 call that brought two police officers to a home where they were ambushed, and where a third was also later killed during a four-hour siege, was precipitated by a fight between the gunman and his mother over a dog urinating in the house.The Saturday argument between Margaret and Richard Poplawski escalated to the point that she threatened to kick him out and she called police to do it, according to a 12-page criminal complaint and affidavit filed late Saturday.
When officers Paul Sciullo III and Stephen Mayhle arrived, Margaret Poplawski opened the door and told them to come in and take her 23-year-old son, apparently unaware he was standing behind her with a rifle, the affidavit said. Hearing gunshots, she spun around to see her son with the gun and ran to the basement.
"What the hell have you done?" she shouted.
The mother told police her son had been stockpiling guns and ammunition "because he believed that as a result of economic collapse, the police were no longer able to protect society," the affidavit said.
Friends have said Poplawski was concerned about his weapons being seized during Barack Obama's presidency, and friends said he owned several handguns and an AK-47 assault rifle. Police have not said, specifically, what weapons were used to kill the officers.
Example three:
[The monk] cradled yellow joss sticks in his hands and lowered them to a flame. Smoke swirled around his bowed head, the scene of peace contrasting with the terror that beset Binghamton on Friday when a gunman attacked an immigrant services center and killed 13 people before taking his own life.With reports that the gunman, Jiverly Wong, 41, was an immigrant from Vietnam, this small community that had lived anonymously found itself thrust into the spotlight.
As details emerged about Wong's life — recently laid off, troubled by poor language skills, unable to find a toehold in the United States — many Vietnamese here saw their own struggles in his travails. It was a reminder, as if they needed one, that their transition from war-torn Vietnam to Binghamton has not always been easy.
The first Vietnamese immigrants in Binghamton came after the Vietnam War ended in 1975, but the city saw its biggest influx in the early 1990s, residents said. Local resettlement agencies sponsored hundreds of families of former South Vietnamese soldiers and political prisoners, as well as Amerasian children and their caretakers.
At the population's height in the mid-1990s, about 600 Vietnamese families lived here, according to Nguyen, the monk. But many moved away for better jobs or warmer weather, he said, estimating that about 200 families remain.
The Wongs came under these programs, as did Be Nguyen — no relation to the monk — who prays at the Quan Am temple every Sunday. When she arrived in 1990, Nguyen said, she knew no English, so she fell into assembly line work, as did many other Vietnamese.
What is missing in each of these reports of recent killings is as any mention of mental illness. What's the meaning of this hole in the reporting? Why is mental illness something that is unspeakable or is transmuted into its opposite: a man just dealing with unemployment, a man just dealing with infidelity, a man just dealing with the current economic crisis? Meaning, these killers were only dealing with normal problems and nothing else. As a consequence, there is no real difference between the killers and any other person in society. Why this insistence on normality and this resistance to causes that might be medical or biological?
For an answer, we must turn to the ruling thinking (or ideology) of this moment. Why do we not treat these crimes scientifically and medically? This kind of questioning must be linked with the fact that health care in this country is a class issue. And we must also see any talk about gun control as kind of avoidance of the real and deeper class struggle: a health care system that only functions for those who are employed (and therefore functions as a powerful disciplinary tool for management), and, altogether, a health care system that only takes the mental welfare of the elite seriously. If you are poor, mental illness is then transmuted into underclass phenomena: homelessness, unemployment, chronic domestic instability.
The reason we don't take mental illness seriously (and yet there's enough research and evidence to show that it is far more a chemical than an a social event/expression/phenomena) is it directly negates or weakens the force of the figure at the center of our mode of production and consumption: the individual. And the ruling ideology (an ideology that produces and reproduces the relations of production) is one that depends on placing all responsibility on the individual—you fail not because you are poor but because you are you. You fail because you do not work hard enough, because you are not industrious enough, and so on and so forth. As for the rich? The rich are rich because they worked hard to be rich. With this fixed understanding, there is no need to change a social order that produces and reproduces the current relations of production.
But as long we refuse to take mental health seriously (or treat it scientifically), we will keep wondering why "normal" individuals would do such horrible things.