Slog
News & ArtsFriday, April 3, 2009
Politics A Message to My Supporters
Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Apr 3, 2009 at 4:04 PM
When I look back on my campaign—when I look back on our campaign—I remember how it all got started in the snows of Seattle in mid-March. I fondly recall the words of one supporter in particular who commented on the Slog post that launched my campaign (Slog posts were this campaign's town-hall meetings): "You are such a self-absorbed, useless idiot." While I hate disappoint that supporter and others like him ("Stick to writing about Dildos." "Asshole." "I'm going to divorce you if you do this, Dan."), I have a sad announcement. I am, for now, and maybe for serious, but, you know, never say never, so maybe this isn't a final decision because, hey, you don't own me, and I have until June something-or-other to change my mind back, but for right now I am temporarily but perhaps not terminally suspending my campaign for mayor.
I want to reassure my supporters that this is a decision I take lightly.
Here's what happened: two weeks ago some goons jack-booted thugs from the Seattle Ethics and Elections Commission were sent to my office—via email—to inform me that there are forms I have to fill out if I'm going to run around saying "I'm running for mayor!" (You can say "I'm going to kill Dominic Holden with my bare hands," amazingly enough, without doing any paperwork at all.) What's more, these forms would be due in their offices by Friday, April 3. Which is, now, today. So I sat down just now to fill out these forms a bit ago... and... holy crap. I don't know the answers to half the questions on either form—I don't do my own taxes for a reason—and there's no way I could fill out either one in the 26 minutes I budgeted for this. I could plead with Ethics and Elections for an extension, I suppose, but my campaign staff assures me that its easier to suspend my campaign for now and then, if I'm so moved, jump back in later. Which is just what I intend to contemplate doing.
Thank you, God bless you, and may God bless America.
2
Aw. I'm disappointed. I was looking forward to watching you mix things up, Dan. Oh well, I can pin my hopes on Kinky Friedman and actually vote for him down here less than two miles from the future site of the Bush Library and less than twenty from the Bush.
6
Most would-be candidates who don't want to disclose their personal finances say that they opted out of running to spend more time with their families.
7
Very smooth, Dan, very smooth. Looking forward to a re-announcement followed by a re-suspension before the new deadline expires, and so forth. Work the system.
8
First of all, 'While I hate disappoint...". Aren't you supposed to be the freaking editor? Second of all, it's funny to see how you and Fred Thompson have something in common: You're both the George Costanza's of politics. Waaaa, do I really have to know about deadlines and forms? You continually seem to outdouche yourself, Savage. You SHOULD stick to writing about dildos and supporting illegal wars.
10
you aren't able to do your own taxes? are you a complete idiot? you pay some accountant to let some 18 year old intern use the software (that is available to you as well) to fill out your return?
11
write-in campaigns push all "paper work" off until the ballots arrive. and, it's your supporters who have to do the paper work (write your name on the ballot). do it!
12
Love you, Dan. I figured you would reconsider what with McGinn and Donaldson in the running. Anyway, this is by far the best "I'm not running" announcement so far in this election cycle.
And fuck these trolls in the ear canal. They have the gall to call other people self-absorbed idiots? Really?
And fuck these trolls in the ear canal. They have the gall to call other people self-absorbed idiots? Really?
13
And I was so looking forward to moving to Seattle for a day! You've let me down, Dan.
I think I'm going to cry now.
I think I'm going to cry now.
17
if you "suspend" your campaign you still think you are a candidate
Dan is making trifle of laws, hope they fine him 20,000. and enforce it.
Dan, remember the door knobs?
Public Disclosure, aka Sunshine Laws are very green, consumer friendly and the best thing to hit elections since the secret ballot, and women voting.
But, Dan is danstanding, so much more important....
Nickels is looking well placed, neither of the two who filed have any thing to say on any topic of import
One thinks Seattle should take over both Metro and the School District, sure, in the middle of fiscal meltdown. And of course, neither group has to cater to the City, they are independent. What a mindless platform.
The pampered sports burnout has no political experience, not a real platform ... ho hum to both.
if you "suspend" your campaign you still think you are a candidate
Dan is making trifle of laws, hope they fine him 20,000. and enforce it.
Dan, remember the door knobs?
Public Disclosure, aka Sunshine Laws are very green, consumer friendly and the best thing to hit elections since the secret ballot, and women voting.
But, Dan is danstanding, so much more important....
Nickels is looking well placed, neither of the two who filed have any thing to say on any topic of import
One thinks Seattle should take over both Metro and the School District, sure, in the middle of fiscal meltdown. And of course, neither group has to cater to the City, they are independent. What a mindless platform.
The pampered sports burnout has no political experience, not a real platform ... ho hum to both.
20
Just as well, I couldn't have possibly considered voting for you for two reasons:
1) I live in Vermont.
2) You have failed utterly to pander to my need for umlauts in campaign bloviation. No umlauts? No vote!
That is all.
1) I live in Vermont.
2) You have failed utterly to pander to my need for umlauts in campaign bloviation. No umlauts? No vote!
That is all.
21
Speaking of local politicians, did anyone notice that both Cantwell and Murray voted to give $250b to the rich by lowering the estate tax?
http://www.prospect.org/csnc/blogs/tappe…
Frackers.
Weird that I didn't read about this in the Seattle Times
http://www.prospect.org/csnc/blogs/tappe…
Frackers.
Weird that I didn't read about this in the Seattle Times
27
Latest TOP 10 most popular names for hizzoner so far:
1. MAYOR McCHEESE--by a landslide
2. MAYOR FIVEPENNIES -steady second place
3. MAYOR NOPLOW
4. MAYOR SNOWJOB
5. MAYOR GRIDLOCK -climbing the charts
6. MAYOR McCONDO
7. MAYOR McSLEAZE
8. BOSS NICKELS
9. MAYOR GREENWASH -new, with a bullet
10. MAYOR KNUCKLEHEAD -getting traction
All the names that are just too mean to such a nice fellow, like MAYOR McFATTY, MAYOR PORK, MAJOR PORK, MAYOR BIGMAC, etc. will not be included in the Top 10 names for HIS HONOR. This is Seattle, a nice city, after all.
We are monitoring the TIMES, P-I, Weakly, Strangler, Crosscut, Publicola, and a few blogs for the most mentions in comments from the citizenry.
Newest contenders:
MAYOR FAILure, MAYOR DISASTER, MAJOR DISASTER, MAYOR NOSALT, MAYOR NICKELBAGS, MAYOR QUIMBY, MAYOR FUDD, MAYOR CHUMPCHANGE, MAYOR KNUCKLES, MAJOR NOPLOW, MAYOR 5-CENTS
And..................THE KING IS A FINK!
1. MAYOR McCHEESE--by a landslide
2. MAYOR FIVEPENNIES -steady second place
3. MAYOR NOPLOW
4. MAYOR SNOWJOB
5. MAYOR GRIDLOCK -climbing the charts
6. MAYOR McCONDO
7. MAYOR McSLEAZE
8. BOSS NICKELS
9. MAYOR GREENWASH -new, with a bullet
10. MAYOR KNUCKLEHEAD -getting traction
All the names that are just too mean to such a nice fellow, like MAYOR McFATTY, MAYOR PORK, MAJOR PORK, MAYOR BIGMAC, etc. will not be included in the Top 10 names for HIS HONOR. This is Seattle, a nice city, after all.
We are monitoring the TIMES, P-I, Weakly, Strangler, Crosscut, Publicola, and a few blogs for the most mentions in comments from the citizenry.
Newest contenders:
MAYOR FAILure, MAYOR DISASTER, MAJOR DISASTER, MAYOR NOSALT, MAYOR NICKELBAGS, MAYOR QUIMBY, MAYOR FUDD, MAYOR CHUMPCHANGE, MAYOR KNUCKLES, MAJOR NOPLOW, MAYOR 5-CENTS
And..................THE KING IS A FINK!
28
I have reconsidered!
I will run for Mayor!!
I will meet the people-
and I will
LICK EVERY DOORKNOB IN SEATTLE!!!
You have my solemn pledge...
I will run for Mayor!!
I will meet the people-
and I will
LICK EVERY DOORKNOB IN SEATTLE!!!
You have my solemn pledge...
29
Give it rest- there is no way Dan is going to put his name on the ballot. He does that and there will be an actual tally of how, and what, the great majority of Seattlities think of him. Reality is probably 1%.
31
Dan,
Your most recent post is representative of your entire career. You are a fairweather idiot who panders to the moment. When the Iraq war seemed like a quick victory, you supported it. But when it became clear that it would be the shithole that it is, you denounced it.
Again, When Seattle is in need of actual governance, you pretend to step up to the plate. But when there is actual work to be done, you bow out like the eternal pussy that you will always be. And note: Most of us Democrats don't measure success purely in the sense of day-to-day gay rights news. See the forest from the trees, douchecuntnozzle.
Your most recent post is representative of your entire career. You are a fairweather idiot who panders to the moment. When the Iraq war seemed like a quick victory, you supported it. But when it became clear that it would be the shithole that it is, you denounced it.
Again, When Seattle is in need of actual governance, you pretend to step up to the plate. But when there is actual work to be done, you bow out like the eternal pussy that you will always be. And note: Most of us Democrats don't measure success purely in the sense of day-to-day gay rights news. See the forest from the trees, douchecuntnozzle.
33
I must say I'm disappointed. I spent all that time polishing the party perk and sewing a new tablecloth for the card table. The ladie's auxillary will still be there for you, should you change your mind.
35
Dan, does it feel tingly and potent to be able to send idiots into such conniption fits with the merest gesture at a keyboard? I mean, some of these troll types really seem to be on the verge of shitting themselves with rage pretty much every time you post something. That must be an odd sensation for you... kind of gratifying in a weird, kinky way.
Anyway, I can't say I'm sad to see you not running. I couldn't have voted for you. So long as you're such a staunch and persnickety advocate of breed bans, which are really stupid, wasteful laws, I couldn't have voted for you. We already have laws to prevent the raising of vicious dogs - they're all under "animal welfare" in the statutes, if you want to look them up. It's the owners that are the problem, one hundred percent of the time.
And besides, if you want to pick on problem animals, where's the ban on outdoor cats? They kill my birds, they uproot my garden to dig themselves soft shitters, they get Toxoplasma gondii all over my leafy greens, and nobody says a damn thing. Dan, if you're going to be anti-animal, you should at least run on a platform that is fairly and equitably anti-animal: I'll give you a pit bull ban if you'll give me an outdoor cat ban.
In fact, I am so enthused by this proposition that I demand you renew your campaign.
Anyway, I can't say I'm sad to see you not running. I couldn't have voted for you. So long as you're such a staunch and persnickety advocate of breed bans, which are really stupid, wasteful laws, I couldn't have voted for you. We already have laws to prevent the raising of vicious dogs - they're all under "animal welfare" in the statutes, if you want to look them up. It's the owners that are the problem, one hundred percent of the time.
And besides, if you want to pick on problem animals, where's the ban on outdoor cats? They kill my birds, they uproot my garden to dig themselves soft shitters, they get Toxoplasma gondii all over my leafy greens, and nobody says a damn thing. Dan, if you're going to be anti-animal, you should at least run on a platform that is fairly and equitably anti-animal: I'll give you a pit bull ban if you'll give me an outdoor cat ban.
In fact, I am so enthused by this proposition that I demand you renew your campaign.
38
Oh for fuck sake's Dan. Filling out the damn forms was the FIRST thing I would've done if I decided to run for Mayor.
Now I'm stuck voting for the fucking basketball player.
Now I'm stuck voting for the fucking basketball player.
40
After this comic opera, what will be the value of a Stranger endorsement?
Oh sure, heavy weight politics and shit.
I love fun, the fun would have been Adrian runnig, to the bitter end.
Oh sure, heavy weight politics and shit.
I love fun, the fun would have been Adrian runnig, to the bitter end.
41
I swiped candy at about the first grade, and God the fuss, apology, promise, and endless lectures. I remember crying while having to talk to a Safeway manager ... the end of the world for a shy gay boy eager to play tea party and hop scotch
Never again did the idea cross my mind to this day.
Eria, mom and dad did you wrong.
Never again did the idea cross my mind to this day.
Eria, mom and dad did you wrong.
42
why would anyone take dan seriously as a candidate? he's been caught lying about his age many times in this paper, hectored seattleites about not voting when he hadn't voted himself, and there was that whole door knob licking thing in 2000 in iowa. as much as i dislike mayor fatty, savage is the answer to a joke and nothing more.
43
Would someone please file a public disclosure request to Ethics and Elections and the Mayor's office asking for all correspondence about Dan Savage's potential run for mayor?
44
@28
Well, actually I may not lick every doorknob in Seattle, I plan to buttfuck a few of them.
(but wait, since I lick those first so they slide in easier I guess I'm still fulfilling my pledge...)
nevermind
Well, actually I may not lick every doorknob in Seattle, I plan to buttfuck a few of them.
(but wait, since I lick those first so they slide in easier I guess I'm still fulfilling my pledge...)
nevermind
45
I think Dan is as qualified as anyone else who as run for Mayor in this city--it's just that his qualifications are DIFFERENT. Now can we talk about the octuplets?
46
Clearly, Dan, you are suspending your campaign to make a pilgrimage to the state of Vermont so you can single-handedly (or maybe you like to use both hands...I don't know.....I only imagine : ) help our nation deal with the crisis of Vermont not being able to pass fag loving legislature quickly enough to deal with its economic problems. Right out of John McCain's playbook, way to spit those right wing bastards' cum right back in their faces Dan!
.
.
48
jared, you'd know about waxing pole, now wouldn't you? The adults are speaking here. Go back to your room.
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