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Thursday, April 2, 2009

Film Re: "My Tauntaun Has No Nose." "Then How Does It Smell?" "Terrible!"

Posted by Charles Mudede on Thu, Apr 2, 2009 at 1:39 PM

This deserves some thought:
8d07/1238703448-belly-front.jpg The tauntaun scene is nothing less than another kind of birth. It is the imagined correction of or solution to the real and first process. The real process of birth involves a woman. In the tauntaun scene, it is precisely the woman who is removed. In her place is a male (as midwife) and the pure animal (as body).
935e/1238703077-hey.jpg
The guts of an animal rather than the womb of a woman. The return and rebirth results in a purification: the maleness is no longer complicated by femaleness. The man is a man. But this is one of the weaker longings (absolute maleness) in the universe of Star Wars. Other longings—galactic waste management, the liberation of the deracinated city, the realization of the negative star—are much more powerful than this mere negation of the female role in the production of human life.

In conclusion: There is nothing wrong with the galactic mother.
ed36/1238704211-1295159561_0d6785e021-1.jpg

Permission to use image was granted by Greg Easton.

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Oh, look, boobs.

I thought you were disgusted by pregnancy?

Posted by Patti on April 2, 2009 at 1:43 PM

Ugh. I prescribe peanut butter & salt water taffy for your verbal diarrhea.

Posted by Karla on April 2, 2009 at 1:49 PM

Or, Han was just trying to keep Luke warm until he could get the shelter up. Your take on it is cool too, I guess.

Posted by Porkchop Sandwiches! on April 2, 2009 at 1:49 PM

Venture Brothers rules so hard.

Posted by laterite on April 2, 2009 at 1:51 PM

Muh Dik!!!

Posted by I was wondering when you would get back to the muh dik shit on April 2, 2009 at 1:51 PM

You'll probably like this too

http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/taunta…

Posted by DavidC on April 2, 2009 at 1:55 PM

You know, I saw you buying a bottle of red wine in QFC yesterday. If I had tried to stop you, would I have been spared this post? I think maybe.

Posted by Judah on April 2, 2009 at 1:58 PM

somethingsomethingsomething... in conclusion: TITS.

Posted by brandon on April 2, 2009 at 2:01 PM

Did you completely miss the fact that Luke is actually witnessing his own tauntaun “birth” in that top photo? That’s gotta like, mean something… or something, right?

Posted by DKB on April 2, 2009 at 2:02 PM

as i did not get to go snowboarding on a foot of fresh snow, those tatties have brightened my day immeasurably.

back off mudede haters.

Posted by Max Solomon on April 2, 2009 at 2:09 PM

just when I think you may have pulled yourself out of the deep stupid you prove me wrong once again.

So whats the allegory involved with the trash compactor monster then?

Charles seriously. Put down the pipe.

Posted by akbar fazil on April 2, 2009 at 2:11 PM

Chuck, do you really think Lucas had that much of a deep thought in him?

And ps,

Akbar,

Quit conflating us with Charles.

Thank you,

All Pipe Owners.

Posted by Zoroastronomer on April 2, 2009 at 2:18 PM

Chaz, Luke was stuffed INTO the eviscerated guts of a recently expired Tuantuan; it's not like he started out in there.

If you're going to go for the "rebirth" metaphor, Luke in the bacta tank would have been a much better choice.

Posted by COMTE on April 2, 2009 at 2:19 PM

Um, that's no mother: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Molotov_Coc…

But seriously, Luke's being pushed INTO the tauntaun's belly. Now I'm no expert in reproduction but isn't that the opposite direction of (re)birth?

Posted by Venture Bros. fan on April 2, 2009 at 2:42 PM

Look how much more organic the, er... opening is in the picture on the box compared to the trap door on the actual toy. If they were going for accuracy to sell the thing, they should have filled it with macaroni & cheese as well.

I never had the money to get this thing, but I wanted it. Predictably, all my Star Wars figures have since frozen to death.

Posted by Dougsf on April 2, 2009 at 2:53 PM

Nobody ever got completely inside of a tauntaun for fuck sakes.

Posted by The CHZA on April 2, 2009 at 3:16 PM

"Outside of a tuantuan, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a tuantuan, it's too dark to read."

Posted by Darth Groucho on April 2, 2009 at 3:56 PM

"..the maleness is no longer complicated by femaleness.."

I threw up in my mouth a little bit at that line..

Posted by merry on April 2, 2009 at 4:31 PM

I think it's hilarious how that little boy is staring at her eye patch.

Posted by Christy O on April 2, 2009 at 4:33 PM

Give him a couple more years, Christy, and he won't even be aware that women have heads any more.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on April 2, 2009 at 4:54 PM

You're sucking on the wrong cup, kid.

Posted by DOUG. on April 2, 2009 at 5:17 PM

Cool. She's dressed as "Molotov Cocktease" from The Venture Brothers. That's a pretty cool Mom.

Posted by elswinger on April 2, 2009 at 5:23 PM

I always thought Charles was just an ass. Now I really think his Slog posts might all be an elaborate joke. Even if I'm wrong I think I might start reading them that way, because this was hilarious.

Posted by Jen in Spokane on April 2, 2009 at 7:48 PM

milf

Posted by just saying the obvious on April 2, 2009 at 8:49 PM

Chaz,

I know you hire fat women to sit on your face.

Posted by MSM on April 2, 2009 at 8:52 PM

hmmm...no, i think he just used the tauntaun guts to keep luke warm while he built the shelter...

Posted by douglas on April 3, 2009 at 6:08 AM

Now seems like as good a time as any to pose my eternally unanswered question: What's the deal with tits? I really don't get it. I enjoy sex with women as much as anyone else but seriously what's the deal guys?

Posted by kresblamania on April 3, 2009 at 8:40 AM

Charles, my drink is luke.

Charles: Luke warm?

No! Luke fucking Skywalker, you idiot!

Posted by The Amazing Jim on April 3, 2009 at 10:24 AM

Charles, have you read "To Build a Fire"? The hiker didn't have a birth complex, he was just trying to stay warm. Just like Skywalker.
Jesus, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, you dope.

Posted by ZPG on April 3, 2009 at 10:44 AM

Star wars and Venture Bros. cosplay together in one post? *tears of joy*

Posted by Greg on April 3, 2009 at 11:42 AM