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News & ArtsSaturday, March 28, 2009
Insomnia Midnight Bus Poetry
Posted by Paul Constant on Sat, Mar 28, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Bus Phone Haiku in Two Partsby Brianna
No doubt, Seattle
Passive aggressive at best
Loud phone talker?Do not confront her!
Pass a note instead, quiet!
Lady, you're a wimp.
1
True story: a guy sitting next to me when I was on the phone on the 72 last year did that. He pulled out a Sharpies, looseleaf paper and masking tape; he wrote me a haiku about what an arrogant asshole I was for talking on the phone on the bus and taped it to the back of the seat in front of me. I laughed for the rest of the ride and kept the haiku as a souvenir.
2
@1. So... why are you an "arrogant asshole" for talking on the phone on the bus? What an arrogant asshole was the guy sitting in front of you, for presuming to judge you. I'm ultra-conscientious (it's a neurosis) of those around me, but am very, very reluctant to judge others for slipping around on the lumpy landscape of socially acceptable behavior. Who am I to know where they are coming from, and what transgressions of mine might be similarly forgiven by others?
If I was to write an etiquette column regarding the judging of someone talking on the phone on a bus, I would suggest that you consider whether you would be similarly irritated if the person on the other end of the phone call was sitting next to the talker. If not, then what business do you have being annoyed? Look inward. On the other hand, I have heard bus-riders talking on the phone in a manner much louder than he/she would if the person was present. In this case, give it 60 seconds, then measure your own willingness for confrontation, then a judgmental glance, another 40 seconds, followed by a note taped on the seat.
Poor hai-ku, by the way. Still, I love you, Paul.
If I was to write an etiquette column regarding the judging of someone talking on the phone on a bus, I would suggest that you consider whether you would be similarly irritated if the person on the other end of the phone call was sitting next to the talker. If not, then what business do you have being annoyed? Look inward. On the other hand, I have heard bus-riders talking on the phone in a manner much louder than he/she would if the person was present. In this case, give it 60 seconds, then measure your own willingness for confrontation, then a judgmental glance, another 40 seconds, followed by a note taped on the seat.
Poor hai-ku, by the way. Still, I love you, Paul.
4
Michael, thanks for the parody of the total uptight Seattleite!
For one brief moment you've made Seattle NOT an uptight, irony free zone! Thanks.
For one brief moment you've made Seattle NOT an uptight, irony free zone! Thanks.
7
trolly clickety clack
electric sense on a track
old ones all cool bring back
title: Hill climbing bus from childhood
electric sense on a track
old ones all cool bring back
title: Hill climbing bus from childhood
11
pride comes shortly
boa vampires abound
city shitheads worry money
title: Big Fucking Deal (Pride owes money)
boa vampires abound
city shitheads worry money
title: Big Fucking Deal (Pride owes money)
12
giant monitor 9.99
perfect like new
thin who cares, maybe AIG
title: Buy older cheap gear, Mac too
perfect like new
thin who cares, maybe AIG
title: Buy older cheap gear, Mac too
13
Safeway oranges perfect
In season eat delight
so healthy winter citrus
title: on sale, the best ever to enjoy
In season eat delight
so healthy winter citrus
title: on sale, the best ever to enjoy
15
@Anna: None of those are haikus.
I know people use these bus poem threads to post their own poems (rather than submit them to Paul to be posted), and there's no rules about posting poems in the same style as the selected poem, but I really don't understand what compels people to post poems that are not about busses, are not in the highlighted style, and are not even good (excuse me: the first two are relevant to busses. The rest set off my very short Saturday-morning temper).
That said, taint @10 is my hero.
I know people use these bus poem threads to post their own poems (rather than submit them to Paul to be posted), and there's no rules about posting poems in the same style as the selected poem, but I really don't understand what compels people to post poems that are not about busses, are not in the highlighted style, and are not even good (excuse me: the first two are relevant to busses. The rest set off my very short Saturday-morning temper).
That said, taint @10 is my hero.
17
Haiku structure is 5-7-5. Five syllables first line, seven second, five third. And there are other rules regarding the subject matter and meaning of each line that aren't worth going in to for Americans. It's too complicated and nobody really cares THAT much.
20
#10 - go fuck yourself and die a painful death
smug and stupid asshole
I just got in some kind of mood - next time I will surely ask your permission to take a piss, shit or post anything
boy, you must be a downer to be around, pity those who must endure your rigid neo-mommy dearest-know-it-all know neurotic problem personality
does the word fun ever happen in your rigid brain?
no fun lady
pollutes the day
she is also a bad lay
Anna, who will never post here again, tons of bad karma reeking
smug and stupid asshole
I just got in some kind of mood - next time I will surely ask your permission to take a piss, shit or post anything
boy, you must be a downer to be around, pity those who must endure your rigid neo-mommy dearest-know-it-all know neurotic problem personality
does the word fun ever happen in your rigid brain?
no fun lady
pollutes the day
she is also a bad lay
Anna, who will never post here again, tons of bad karma reeking
21
#17 why should they care?
Seems the Seattle three liner has just been invented, in this century, old Asian poets would surely approve.
too long in class
judgmental ivory tower
embedded too in ass
Seems the Seattle three liner has just been invented, in this century, old Asian poets would surely approve.
too long in class
judgmental ivory tower
embedded too in ass
22
#13
Yo, aside the poems and critics of same, you are exactly right, the oranges this year are the very best, yes at Safeway too, and cheap, very cheap.
Now back to the game.
Hope it quits raining, I have three days off.
Yo, aside the poems and critics of same, you are exactly right, the oranges this year are the very best, yes at Safeway too, and cheap, very cheap.
Now back to the game.
Hope it quits raining, I have three days off.
23
@21
Still not haiku. 18 and 19 got it.
Anna, who will never post here again, tons of bad karma reeking
Anna says so much
Then she posts @ 21
Lies on top of lies
Still not haiku. 18 and 19 got it.
Anna, who will never post here again, tons of bad karma reeking
Anna says so much
Then she posts @ 21
Lies on top of lies
26
I like the term: Seattle Three Liner.
Those who are being graded or fear abuse of advanced Haiku 406 can make it clear the are traditional and do the fixed form thing.
Anna is very honest it seems. Monster, are you kidding? Push people around and even in Seattle some of them will read your beads.
Her stuff by the way was BY FAR the most interesting ... hummmmmm ... Call Anna, let's smoke a joint and do some very cold Heineken.
Sam
Those who are being graded or fear abuse of advanced Haiku 406 can make it clear the are traditional and do the fixed form thing.
Anna is very honest it seems. Monster, are you kidding? Push people around and even in Seattle some of them will read your beads.
Her stuff by the way was BY FAR the most interesting ... hummmmmm ... Call Anna, let's smoke a joint and do some very cold Heineken.
Sam
30
#29
you need to get into the big world a bit
fuck off and die is a taunting phrase, nothing more
really, really, really, has little to do with death
when you told mommy to go to hell, did you really think that is where she would go?
Once, told mommy to go to hell
and I meant pell mell
Holy crap, she did
(this is not an H.)
you need to get into the big world a bit
fuck off and die is a taunting phrase, nothing more
really, really, really, has little to do with death
when you told mommy to go to hell, did you really think that is where she would go?
Once, told mommy to go to hell
and I meant pell mell
Holy crap, she did
(this is not an H.)
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