Slog
News & ArtsMonday, March 23, 2009
The Ladies Maybe Don't Give Them the Web Traffic
Posted by Paul Constant on Mon, Mar 23, 2009 at 1:41 PM
Askmen.com (subtitled "7 Million Readers a Month") has a new listicle up. It's titled 10 Subtle Ways to Tell Her She's Getting Fat. Here's one:
No.3 - Sabotage her chairSometimes as men we have to get downright nefarious to get what we want. You might not be proud of stooping to this level, but nothing says “better lose some weight” like a broken chair. After you loosen a few screws or remove some important slats of a chair in which you know she’ll sit and subsequently break, sit back and watch the guaranteed dietary transformation that ensues. It will profoundly amaze you.
Apparently, open and honest communication is not "subtle."
(Via Alex Balk, who makes the only point that matters in his post.)
2
"#7:When dishing up meals for the two of you, try giving her smaller-than-usual amounts. By making her ask for more food, you might succeed in shaming her into an acknowledgment of her recent weight gain"
wow. that is just disgusting.
wow. that is just disgusting.
3
holy god in heaven, please don't let ECB see this. That volcano in Alaska would be like a sparkler compared to the wrath of Erica.
4
Wow, it's like Cosmo for men! "10 asinine and manipulative ways for your to mold your boyfried/girlfriend to the vapid ideals we prescribe to you!" It's a vicious cycle; both genders lose in the end.
6
i've dated guys who thought this kind of behavior was acceptable. the most galling part of that is that they've all been overweight themselves.
7
Paul, you linked to them too. Maybe also don't give them the Web traffic? I think Slog probably generates more clicks than this twooter thingy.
Me, I'm not clicking.
Me, I'm not clicking.
9
"Open and honest communication" on this issue is inadvisable, Paul. You don't have to sabotage a chair to get your balls chopped off. Just mention the word "weight."
10
#7 isn't even terrible advice. Eating smaller portions, even if you allow yourself to have as many helpings as you like, can help curb overeating. It makes you think you're eating more than you actually are and gives your body a chance to decide if it really wants more food. Shame has nothing to do with it.
11
@4 for the win.
Actually, the best thing to do is not skip breakfast and get more exercise, although become a vegetarian or vegan is far more effective ...
Actually, the best thing to do is not skip breakfast and get more exercise, although become a vegetarian or vegan is far more effective ...
13
I'd like to add a listicle - "Subtle ways to tell him his Penis is too small." No.1 - During intercourse, repeatedly ask "you're in now, right?"
17
Honestly, 'get her yoga classes', 'eat less', 'eat healthier', 'get her to exercise with you'... Are these bad?
When you love someone, you want them to stay attractive or maybe you will stop feeling the same about them. When you love a woman who ceases to be attractive, it hurts both of you. But telling her outright hurts both of you too. While breaking her chair seems more like you're picking on her, the other ones are actually GOOD ideas.
You'd perhaps prefer the time honored, 'call her a fat fuck over and over' method? What about slapping her, or perhaps withholding her food altogether? Get her some meth? Tell her to diet?
Yeesh, these are efforts to be sympathetic and still convince her to look good. Honesty is not always the best policy. If you don't like it, then YOU figure out a way to make women respond well to the words 'you're fat'.
When you love someone, you want them to stay attractive or maybe you will stop feeling the same about them. When you love a woman who ceases to be attractive, it hurts both of you. But telling her outright hurts both of you too. While breaking her chair seems more like you're picking on her, the other ones are actually GOOD ideas.
You'd perhaps prefer the time honored, 'call her a fat fuck over and over' method? What about slapping her, or perhaps withholding her food altogether? Get her some meth? Tell her to diet?
Yeesh, these are efforts to be sympathetic and still convince her to look good. Honesty is not always the best policy. If you don't like it, then YOU figure out a way to make women respond well to the words 'you're fat'.
18
I like 6 and 8 - essentially, get your own self fit and she'll want to play along. How is that offensive?
19
#4 has a point. Cosmo et al run items that are just as stupid. Look, if you need to read a poorly written article to communicate with your partner, that's a bad sign right there.
20
One thing that's constant here is the unadulterated finnesse of out constant reader paul.... and the tips on that triceratort... an inex-cape-i-blur estrac if i do lust so my say.
list it u op e.
list it u op e.
21
it all comes down to one thing - you're trying to change your partner.
which is pretty typical of Cosmo.
and very much not a guy thing.
which is pretty typical of Cosmo.
and very much not a guy thing.
22
How about "subtle ways to tell him his balding is a major turn off". If a guy isn't gorgeous, why does he think he deserves someone who is? Because he saw it on a beer commercial? I keeping hoping that the one positive of this recession might be a re-prioritizing, but that wouldn't serve the US corporate culture.
23
@17- a couple of them are decent advice- like sign her up for a yoga class and plan your own diet. but though the end results of many of the items are admirable- curb overeating, ect, most of them are just ways to make someone feel like shit. hint: people who feel like unimprovable shit may just want a second bowl of ice cream.
24
These may be not all cool, but jesus- just 1 of your try this face to face. That shit is not fun. Besides, this is aimed at chicks that got all fatted up after you started going out with them. Its not about changing a person, its keeping them from being fat and unhealthy.
25
How about "Being straight with her about how her weight gain is effecting her relationship and discuss how you can both get healthier together."
26
Knowing that most of the men reading that article in earnest have beer guts themselves makes it all the better. And how many of them would actually cook dinner for their girlfriends?
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