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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Crime / Life A Note to Our Readers

Posted by Brendan Kiley on Wed, Mar 18, 2009 at 11:42 AM

Thirteen years ago, I left a grocery store with an angel-food cake I failed to pay for. I felt guilty about taking it (and for only being able to eat half of it), so I returned to the store a few days later, bought an angel-food cake, and returned it to the shelves.

Comments (22) RSS

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Pussy.

Posted by Dan Savage on March 18, 2009 at 11:49 AM

But I'll never tell what happened with the devil's-food cake...

Posted by Brendan Kiley on March 18, 2009 at 11:54 AM

OK, this one is just plain weird. You're a freak, Mr. Kiley.

Posted by Fnarf on March 18, 2009 at 12:02 PM

Would a devil's food cake have the same guilt-inducing effect, I wonder? Sooooo sacrilicious!

Posted by the bucket on March 18, 2009 at 12:03 PM

Did you know you can now buy a rubber duck that is both an angel and a devil?

Not sure if it likes cake, though.

It's in the latest Archie McPhee catalog - man, a lot of ducks in that one.

Posted by Will in Seattle on March 18, 2009 at 12:05 PM

Wow, it must be come clean day on SLOG.

Ok, here goes-

One time, I used marajuana.

Whew! That feels better!

Posted by wisepunk on March 18, 2009 at 12:08 PM

and this one time, at band camp....

Posted by ellarosa on March 18, 2009 at 12:14 PM

You are an idiot. Is it make fun of the readers day??? Oh Stranger writers banding together to protect one another how sweet and sad.

Posted by cafepuppy on March 18, 2009 at 12:29 PM

@8: Did you notice how many commenters are joining in, too? Did you stop to think that it is in reaction to you and the other MORally Outraged NutjobS going on about this for days now, hijacking posts that had nothing to do with the "issue" as you saw it? Didja?

Posted by Cracker Jack on March 18, 2009 at 12:41 PM

@8 is it fun? ABSOLUTELY.

Posted by go back to weak on March 18, 2009 at 12:41 PM

@8: cry moar.

Posted by Abby on March 18, 2009 at 1:08 PM

hmmf...all these confessions are lame and wussy...CAKE!?!? POSTCARDS!?!?! MAGAZINES?!?!?

Where are the TRUE confessions, the juicy stuff like cars, jewels, and drugs?

Posted by michael strangeways on March 18, 2009 at 1:16 PM

At least it wasn't a $9 bottle of wine that you stole.

Posted by chris on March 18, 2009 at 1:18 PM

Strangeways, do you mean like "I stole a jewel once, from her daddy, the day I married my sweetheart!" Like that?

Posted by Fnarf on March 18, 2009 at 1:22 PM

@8 - No, just make fun of you day. It's so fun and you're so willing.

Posted by Donolectic on March 18, 2009 at 1:26 PM

@16 - Awesome reference. :D

Posted by Donolectic on March 18, 2009 at 1:27 PM

These are awesome -- great way to respond to the stupidity from yesterday about ECB, Stranger staff! I laughed out loud when I realized what you were all doing -- brilliant.

Posted by Jane on March 18, 2009 at 2:07 PM

I once tried to smuggle Viagra into the U.S. after a long weekend of banging hookers in the Dominican Republic.

This was several years after I got caught with more than 30,000 tabs of OxyContin, which I forced my housekeeper in Florida to illegally purchase using faked prescriptions.

But, at least I'm no Erica C. Barnett - she should be thrown in the hoosegow and have the key thrown away for what she's done.

Because an adult, she's responsible for her actions, and should pay the price for her crimes against humanity.

Posted by Rush Limbaugh, 58 Years Old on March 18, 2009 at 2:17 PM

@6 - only once?

Posted by Will in Seattle on March 18, 2009 at 2:18 PM

oh and @8 - go jump off the Aurora Bridge.

Seriously.

I'll walk around your body on my way home and promise I won't step on it.

Posted by Will in Seattle on March 18, 2009 at 2:19 PM

Decades ago, I unwrapped a package of liver and violated it behind a billboard on my way home.

Posted by I fucked my own family's dinner! on March 18, 2009 at 4:11 PM

Ok. I'll play.

I stole a little sign off of a big, beautiful tree in a national park. It was marking a trail. You would only SEE the tree if you were ON the trail. It was stupid. It made me angry. Now it makes me happy in my living room.

Posted by violet_dagrinder on March 18, 2009 at 8:13 PM