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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Books Slog Commenter Book Report 14: Katherine Thinks It Sucked and Then I Cried

Posted by Paul Constant on Tue, Mar 17, 2009 at 4:09 PM

Katherine Thornton is a regular Slog reader, but, insofar as I am aware, not a frequent Slog commenter. But still, she is some kind of intrepid: She has contributed a review of It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much [lack of hyphen (sic)] Needed Margarita for you to enjoy. I wrote about this book's poor punctuation a little while ago. Any errors should be considered a fault of the editor. I am the editor. Take it away, Katherine:

Have you ever read a 272-page blog post? I just did. It took 6 hours. In the text of It Sucked and Then I Cried, Heather Armstrong presented the concept of “crossing over that invisible line to the other side” into parenthood. In this book she chronicles her journey beyond this line and what happened in the first 9 months of her daughter's life. There are only two types of people who will read this book: parents and non-parents. I am a non-parent.

For parents Armstrong aims to delight with camaraderie and to get people to buy her book by showing that her experience is just like theirs, except much worse, but isn't she honest to share her scary story, and isn't she funny using that casual narrative tone where carefully placed emphasis is used to rev up sentences often in CAPITAL LETTERS or by use of that convention where. every. word. is. followed. by. a. period.

For non-parents Heather positions herself as a cross between a wise oracle or an intimate friend who will tell you the whole truth IN GORY DETAIL. There are several revelations that are sensibly assumed to be of the type that scare non-parents*. As a non-parent I was not scandalized by the many occasions Heather alluded to wanting to throw her child out a window (we know she's kidding!) I was not scandalized by her admission that she and her husband did not have sex for seven months after their baby was born (slow-healing episiotomy!) I was not scandalized by her descriptions of constipation during her pregnancy (a preexisting condition in her case!)

What scared me about this book is that I quickly understood that there is another name for that “invisible line” that Heather drew for us. It is the line that you cross when you are suddenly ready to do previously unthinkable things for money for the sake of your child. Like tell your story about how “I had a baby, a breakdown and a much needed margarita”. Heather Armstrong does not have an original story to tell. Heather's writing is not worth reading despite the fact that her story is unoriginal. She has the same material and tools that she had when she was a blogger. For material she has her life story and her willingness to share details that others would never reveal because those details are too personal and or too embarrassing. For a tool Heather has a firm grasp on the self-depreciating style of writing in which everything negative is exaggerated to its hyperbolic maximum MULTIPLE TIMES ON EACH PAGE. E-V-E-R-Y P-A-G-E. Did. I. mention. that. the. majority. of. her. hyperbolic. statements. are. neither. creative. nor. funny? Another tool Heather deftly makes use of is her shrewd evaluation of the market and her realization that she will make millions of dollars for this book BECAUSE SHE IS JUST SO HONEST AND SO HUMAN.

Um, ouch. You can find Armstrong's blog here. Many thanks to Katherine.

Comments (34) RSS

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"and isn't she funny using that casual narrative tone where carefully placed emphasis is used to rev up sentences often in CAPITAL LETTERS or by use of that convention where. every. word. is. followed. by. a. period."

Posted by you mean like bolding? on March 17, 2009 at 4:14 PM

She stole those hyperbolic caps from Lindy West.

Posted by i love lindy on March 17, 2009 at 4:17 PM

Much needed Margarita?

No thank you.

But offer up some nice red wine and I AM THERE!!

Posted by QFC $8.99 Special on March 17, 2009 at 4:18 PM

I like to use paragraphs.

And sometimes not bold everything.

Call me crazy.

Posted by Will in Seattle on March 17, 2009 at 4:27 PM

I'm tired of all this Dan. Like @3 is alluding to... let's just get real with everyone here..

In all seriousness Dan...

Can we just have an ECB stole a bottle of wine post and get this BS over with?

Everyone wants their pound of flesh, and this will at least allow us to comment normally on other posts without them being hijacked by this craziness.

Why are you being so hypocritical and not doing it?

Seriously?

It would seem to me, that we haven't had any type of substantive SLOG posts today? Or is it just me?

ECB needs to go, as she is really bringing this place down.

Times are tough. Lots of qualified folks are looking for gainful employment. I'm sure at least one or two are more qualified than she is to be a journalist.

Posted by Inquiring minds want to know on March 17, 2009 at 4:37 PM

Aren't we coming up on the time of year where you let six hearty souls run SLOG for a Friday? I vote for Katherine Thornton, whoever the hell she is, because you could do worse.

I refuse to join the call for ECB to 'fess up, because all the haters (except for "Inquiring Minds") make me want to fucking vomit.

Posted by Big Sven on March 17, 2009 at 4:44 PM

self-deprecating was misspelled.

Posted by laurel on March 17, 2009 at 4:48 PM

Here's the deal:

-ECB is a journalist who makes a (Apparently mediocre) living writing usually critical columns about other people, proposals, and society at large. There is nothing wrong with this.

-ECB also did a tremendously stupid thing, got caught, and then somehow didn't get out of it(Because all stores drag people into court for shoplifting less than 10 dollars worth of merchandise).

-ECB should not have been called out in the press for this, because there's no way that the info of her arrest was gotten legitimately.

-That said, she has been. And now the public knows. Sucks, but happens, especially in journalism, and the Stranger has never been shy about publishing things we shouldn't-but-do know about, or dragging people's personal lives through the dirt for our entertainment. I have no problem with this either.

-The internet does not let go of things easily. We need to get something from either Dan or ECB(Those are the only two sources that are going to matter here) so that we can all move on, or maybe get an explanation.

Posted by You All Know How This Works on March 17, 2009 at 4:51 PM

This was the most boring day on SLOG ever. Too bad no one reads The Weekly's blog so all the trolls would have a place to call home.

Posted by heywhatsit on March 17, 2009 at 4:52 PM

I thought the Weekly went belly up years ago ...

Are you sure it's still around?

Posted by Will in Seattle on March 17, 2009 at 4:53 PM

That review confirms everything the sentence "How I Had a Baby, A Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita" was telling me. And I'm sure the market for expecting mothers is dying to know what I think, too.

Posted by Dougsf on March 17, 2009 at 5:13 PM

Who cares that ECB stole a bottle of wine worth less than ten bucks? I don't see why everybody is freaking out about that (let alone calling for her resignation/firing because of it). Big whoopedeedoo.

Besides, what in the hell does that have to do with the fact Heather Armstrong is a completely tedious hack?

Posted by Jane on March 17, 2009 at 5:17 PM

Way to take one for the team. That book sounds like it sucked. And in my future life of leisure should I ever come upon it in a beach house, I will fling it into the surf and proceed to seek out a law suit worthy Clive Cussler novel, per Slog's instructions yesterday.

Posted by aff on March 17, 2009 at 5:39 PM

I understand the writer had pretty severe post-partum depression. And PPD is something that does need to be addressed more often and openly since there are a lot of Moms out there who feel so isolated and scared by what they experience. It is a shame that Armstrong isn't much of a writer. In more capable hands this could have been an interesting/sympathetic read.
Oh well, a masochistic yet frugal person could just read a first hand account of her descent into madness on her blog.

Posted by au gout on March 17, 2009 at 7:07 PM

Is Katherine Mrs. Fnarf?

Posted by Eric from Boulder on March 17, 2009 at 7:19 PM

What's with the asterisk with no follow up? Or is that another one of Ms. Armstrong's quirks?

Posted by midwaypete on March 17, 2009 at 7:53 PM

You know Sven, vomiting could be beneficial to you considering your weight.

Posted by just a thought on March 17, 2009 at 8:22 PM

So many trolls, so little moderation. Seriously, even if you delete them, they still have the same First Amendment rights the rest if us do: to start their own damn blogs.

Posted by Superfrankenstein on March 17, 2009 at 8:42 PM

@5/@8 Who gives a fuck other than you?

Posted by Why Isn't There A Comment Moderator on Slog? on March 17, 2009 at 8:45 PM

Ahem... Here's a little comment on the topic of this thread, if you all don't mind.

If bloggers are going to get publishing deals then they ought to be made to rewrite their blogs into non-blog English. Or else they should blog in non-blog English in the first place (see: the yarn harlot).

Now for the off-topic comment:

I hope all the Stranger folks and sloggers who shut down the suggestions of registration the last time we discussed this are happy.

Posted by Matt from Denver on March 17, 2009 at 8:54 PM

Comment moderation would be ideal. Put an intern on releasing good comments. All others will be blocked. Certain commenters can be whitelisted (perhaps any with 10 passed comments, or some such automatic rule). If that fails, please look into OpenID for reg, I will not create another fucking username and password to comment here.

Posted by RL on March 17, 2009 at 9:11 PM

I am impressed Matt from Denver knows who the Yarn Harlot is. She's great.

I have a strange fascination with Heather Armstrong's blog. I'm a non-parent, plan to remain a non-parent, and reading her blog reminds me why this is a brilliant plan. I have zero desire to read her book though, skimming her blog posts once a week is plenty.

It makes me a little jealous to know both her and her husband can afford to work from home thanks to her blog and the advertising bucks. They've been really smart about it, I wouldn't be surprised if she's sold movie rights to her story already.

Posted by Kristi in Kitsap on March 17, 2009 at 9:14 PM

Jesus, calm down everyone. Armstrong is the woman behind one of the most popular personal blogs on the internet. She's funny and doesn't take herself too seriously (I think Katherine might want to look into that concept). This review smacks of jealousy. Just start your own blog already Katherine and actually try to be writer. Sending in book reviews as a comment is cowardly. Perhaps you tried and failed? Is that bitterness I smell?

Posted by Put up or shut up on March 17, 2009 at 9:18 PM

#5 - ECB needs to go, as she is really bringing this place down. Replace "ECB" with "Josh Feit" and you're posting a Stranger critique from 2006.

#19 - As a matter of fact, a moderator just cherry-picked two of my ECB comments right off the page (different slog story, not this one), and put up gray "DELETED SPAM" notices in their place. Say the wrong thing, or say it clearly enough, and you're apparently game too.

Posted by Yawn. on March 17, 2009 at 9:51 PM

@ 21, just use an ID you're already using somewhere else, and come up with a simple scheme to keep your passwords straight.

Posted by Matt from Denver on March 17, 2009 at 10:27 PM

@ 22, you can thank my wife for that. We went to see her on a book signing tour a couple of years ago and she was just as funny as my wife said. You don't have to be a knitter to like her.

Posted by Matt from Denver on March 17, 2009 at 10:29 PM

@17: oh my god, you found out my secret shame! The one I've talked about like 500 times on my blog and dozens of times on SLOG! How'd you do that? You must be some kind of super sleuth!

But you, you fucking coward, you hide behind anonymous handles time and time and time again because you can't handle having a real conversation with anyone. I'd rather be 100 lb overweight (as I am) than live 10 minutes of your pathetic existence.

Posted by Big Sven on March 17, 2009 at 10:40 PM

i actually can't wait to read this book. from what i understand, one of heather's biggest problems upon becoming a mother is that no one was willing to come forward and talk about how hard it was. all she kept running into were mothers saying how great motherhood was, and that sort of contributed to her breakdown. so this book is trying to correct that issue? saying, "hey everyone! motherhood is fucking hard as hell and it can make you crazy!"

i can't wait to read it. i love her writing.

Posted by erik on March 18, 2009 at 3:10 AM

I usually skim Heather's blog every week or so. And everytime I do I get the feeling that she's scrambling for more ways to exploit her child, so that her blog stats stay UP! and so that she can continue earning the $40000/month that her blog has been bringing in. Of course, Leta's five now, and people are less interested... so it's a good thing she's got this other kid coming soon!

Posted by qui suis je on March 18, 2009 at 4:14 AM

@28: What are you talking about? My mom bitches about it to me all the fucking time. Hell, *anyone*who has a mom (and dad) should probably know how hard parenting is.

@23: You do understand that Paul solicits these reviews?

Posted by Gloria on March 18, 2009 at 10:24 AM

I love Lindy West and how she writes.

I'm not married to FNARF, I was given this last name when I was born.

After reading Paul's post about the punctuation of the title of this book I didn't want him to have to read it. I have a soft spot for Paul because I am from Maine too.

Posted by Katherine Thornton on March 18, 2009 at 11:29 AM

Yes YES YES. I used to read Armstrong's blog regularly, back in the days before it was insanely popular. She's become such a pandering hack that I haven't been able to stomach it for a few years now. Yes, I agree that postpartum depression is a very real issue, and that parents are not always honest with new parents about the realities of life with a little one. But...that's well-covered on blogs these days. Actually, I'd say it's been done to death at this point.
It is a shame because I used to find her funny and charming, but now she's about a hairs-breadth away from having GOLDEN PALACE tattooed to her forehead for profit.

Posted by redpanda on March 20, 2009 at 6:59 AM

Only recently have I stumbled upon Dooce's tweets. I didn't know anything about her past. Every entry made me laugh and her comments about Leta were sweet and memorable. I don't see Kathy-Lee-Gifford-like exploitation here. I'm thinking more Erma Brombeck, in that she delights in this open and amazed 5-year-old, and she has the ability to share her delight in a very amuzing way. She,Tina Fey and George Carlin are among my favorite twitter-reads because each makes me Laugh! I've got no complaints against anybody who can give me a smile or a laugh before I nod off to dreamland!

Posted by howmark on March 20, 2009 at 2:29 PM

I love Heather Armstrong's blog (and her pictures are great as well).

@ 23, well said.

If she can pull in so much money from her blog that her family can live on just that income, more power to her. She may not be completely original in everything she does, but who the fuck is?

As much as I love the Stranger, I'd rather read her blog over just about anything on Slog any day.

Posted by Angela on March 31, 2009 at 11:13 AM