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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Chow Child vs Bean: Whoever Wins, We Lose

Posted by Lindy West on Tue, Mar 17, 2009 at 2:01 PM

When I was in college, my housemates and I happened to see this clip on America's Funniest Home Videos or something, and for years afterward would scream, "Iiiiiiiit's soooooooo YUCKY!" in one another's faces at inopportune moments (weddings, emergency rooms, deep slumber, for instance). Today, one of them found it on the Youtube and sent it to me! Isn't life great? ISN'T LIFE YUCKY!?

This is a million times funnier to me than that kid who's going to kick the monster's ass or whatever.

Comments (23) RSS

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I despise that little girl. There's something wrong with a child who gets that psychotic about food and with the parents who thought it was cute. Bitch needs therapy.

Posted by smith on March 17, 2009 at 2:06 PM

Whoa, my tubes just tied themselves.

Posted by Bethundra on March 17, 2009 at 2:07 PM

Fuck this shit. I'm sticking with cats.

Posted by Jessica on March 17, 2009 at 2:25 PM

I'll give that kid something to really cry about...

Posted by My Dad on March 17, 2009 at 2:33 PM

Despise the child? Despise the parents.

Look how cute! We made the baby cry! Funny!

Well into toddlerhood, we have super-sensitive taste buds all over our mouths. It probably did taste really yucky, or at least very different than it tasted when she got older. Force her at age 2, and she'll never want to try again.

Posted by pox on March 17, 2009 at 2:35 PM

I am going to record that voice and use it on my alarm system to scare burglers away.

Posted by Heather on March 17, 2009 at 2:36 PM

I'm with @3... Even Siamese cats can't whine like that little fucker.

Posted by Queen of Sleaze on March 17, 2009 at 2:38 PM

Reason #50981230983 why I never watched America's Funnest Home Videos.

Posted by EmilyP on March 17, 2009 at 2:39 PM

Considering what I've seen my breeder friends feed their toddlers, I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often. Lunch meat, baby carrots, and canned vegetables for lunch and dinner? Mmm, mmm, good.

Posted by keshmeshi on March 17, 2009 at 2:41 PM

I don't think there's anything wrong with the parents, I think they're reacting like every other parent with toddlers I know. If they do not laugh when the toddler throws a tantrum like this, then they will cry. Seriously, imagine living with that 24-7.

Posted by knows a few toddlers on March 17, 2009 at 2:47 PM

Am I the only person who thought this little kid was a boy?

@8 America's Funniest Home Videos, is actually kind of awesome sometimes. Sure, there are lots of "Ow, my balls" moments, but, every once in a awhile, there is something truly hilarious. Sadly, I haven't been able to find my two all-time favorites on YouTube:

- A kid is playing with his new pet hamster outside ("Isn't he just the best hamster!") and a hawk suddenly swoops down and carries it away. Kid cries.
- A little girl at a zoo is posing for her parents in front of a cougar's enclosure. Cougar is desperately trying to paw through the glass and eat the little girl. Little girl turns around, sees bloodthirsty cougar, begins screaming bloody murder and running away.

Also funny: they do a Halloween special that usually consists entirely of little kids getting scared and crying.

Posted by Julie in Eugene on March 17, 2009 at 2:49 PM

It's probably a good thing that I never had kids. If I'd encountered this, I probably would have done exactly what my parents would have done to me: Beat Living Crap Out of Child. I'm not saying that's commendable. I'm saying it would be my first reaction.

Posted by adults are difficult enough on March 17, 2009 at 2:59 PM

In the kid's defense, green beans are really yucky.

Posted by Ben on March 17, 2009 at 3:00 PM

My first wife was a picky eater like that.

Posted by guilder on March 17, 2009 at 3:14 PM

I can feel myself turning into my mother already... preparing a speech on spoiled and ungrateful children, it's good for you anyway, starving children in Africa, you'll sit there until it's gone no matter how much you whine, and don't make me get the duct tape.

My poor kids (if I ever have any) are doomed. Especially because I love Brussels sprouts and spinach.

Posted by lily on March 17, 2009 at 3:18 PM

I think that other little girl should kick this little monster's ask.

Posted by tacomagirl on March 17, 2009 at 3:24 PM

i can't believe they are using paper plates at the dinner table. WHAT ABOUT THE PLANET ASSHOLES?

this freaking out and throwing ridiculously oversized tantrums is the seventymillionth reason not to have children. i throw the tantrums in this house!

Posted by ingopixel on March 17, 2009 at 3:26 PM

I, for one, will never eat a green bean again.

Posted by Superfrankenstein on March 17, 2009 at 5:36 PM

And I'm officially sterile.

Posted by snargent pepper on March 17, 2009 at 5:45 PM

Dang... y'all are a tough crowd. I laughed my ass off and STILL plan on breeding.

Posted by c to the andice on March 17, 2009 at 6:18 PM

Very similar to the short time I dated an anorexic.

Posted by Legume on March 17, 2009 at 7:42 PM

I fucking hated this child back in the day, and I hate her and her parents now.

Clearly she's putting on an act, probably motivated a great deal by getting to be the center of attention because of it.

She probably grew up to be an egomaniacal, self-indulgent, spoiled little twat who still, as a grown woman, talks in a little-girl voice because that's what the attention of Daddy and subsequent daddy-figures.

Not cute or funny--just irritating.

Posted by Hoyt Clagwell on March 17, 2009 at 8:32 PM

i lol'd.

Posted by mintygreen on March 18, 2009 at 8:42 AM