Monday, March 16, 2009
Politics I'm Running For Mayor
Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Mar 16, 2009 at 2:04 PM
I've had it with Peter and Tim and and Nick and Richard pansy-assing around about running for mayor. They announce they're thinking about it, they think about it, and then they announce that running for mayor is just too scary or too expensive or that Greg is just too formidable an opponent. Christ, do these guys have one lonely little nut between the four of 'em?
Because you know what, you pansies? Greg Nickels isn't a popular guy. The first time he ran for reelection, Greg's opponent—Al Runte—got 35% of the vote. Runte wasn't qualified to be mayor and he was a loon and everyone knew it and yet 35% of the voters in this city picked the loon over Nickels. If Nickels had faced a serious challenger in 2005 he would've lost. That no one has the balls to challenge Nickels this time out tells us nothing about Greg and everything about the contents of Peter, Tim, Nick, and Richard's underpants. No balls.
Now I don't think I'm qualified to be mayor either and I'm a bit of a loon too. But here's the crucial difference between me and Al Runte: I know I'm not qualified to be mayor. Another difference: I don't want to be mayor. That's why my entire platform is this: If elected I pledge to resign the office of mayor 24 hours after I'm sworn in. During my short and glorious tenure I'll issue a few harmless proclamations ("Lap Dance Day"), challenge Portland's gay mayor to a Big Gay Sex Scandal Contest (I can put together a better sex scandal in 17 minutes than Sam Adams did in 17 days), and attempt to make good on my only other campaign promise. (I promise to build the original X-shaped, voter-approved monorail plan in 24 hours or resign in disgrace.) But after Lap Dance Day is over, and the monorail isn't completed in 24 hours, I will resign.
And that's where this part of the city charter comes into play:
B. MAYOR AND OTHER ELECTIVE OFFICES: If the office of Mayor shall become vacant, the President of the City Council shall become Mayor; provided, that said President may within five days of such vacancy decline the office of Mayor, in which event the City Council shall select one of its members to be Mayor in the manner provided for filling vacancies in other elective offices.
So not to worry, Seattle: If elected, I will not be your mayor long enough to do any real damage. My plan isn't perfect, I realize. Richard Conlin, who doesn't have the balls to challenge Nickels himself, is the President of the City Council and my resignation would make Conlin mayor, something Conlin doesn't have the balls to make himself. But I think my plan for a passive-aggressive coup d’état just might appeal to the city council's most passive-aggressive member, and people I like—hey, Dave Meinert!—are always telling me that Conlin isn't that bad. And after the last eight years I'll take not that bad over Greg.
Of course Peter Steinbrueck hasn't ruled out running for mayor. He's currently thinking about it and flouncing around like a douchebag. (Yes, douchebags flounce if you toss 'em right.) "Please send meeeeeeee three reasons why yoooooooooo think I should be mayor, Seattle..." Christ almighty, Peter, shit or get off our faces. Run or don't run. Want it or don't want it. But enough with the reluctant savior routine. We're not drafting your ass—in or out, kraut.
But if Peter doesn't announce—and announce soon—then I'm in it to win it, Seattle. For me, for you, for our children, for our children's children, for our children's children's children's pets, for growing our green economy, for Lap Dance Day, for a Big Gay Sex Scandal Contest, and for the la de da of it. I'm not qualified and I know it and I promise, if elected, to resign the day after I'm sworn in and make that chickenshit Conlin mayor.
A post on how you can help get my name on the ballot later in the day.
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4
Fucking LAME.
Didn't Howard Stern do this first, like 10 years ago?
You are a disgrace to gay men everywhere. An embarrassment Dan.
Please don't do this.
Didn't Howard Stern do this first, like 10 years ago?
You are a disgrace to gay men everywhere. An embarrassment Dan.
Please don't do this.
5
RUN DAN RUN!!!!!
I'll paper this town (physically and online) with previous SLOG posts of yours.
Can you think of any you may find embarrassing in some other context in which the demographic isn't snarky fourteen year olds?
I'll paper this town (physically and online) with previous SLOG posts of yours.
Can you think of any you may find embarrassing in some other context in which the demographic isn't snarky fourteen year olds?
8
Yeah, making a mockery of politics.
Is that really what you want your civic contribution to be?
Stuff like this demeans the importance of what is at stake and only keeps serious, qualified people away from the circus you are creating.
Gay sex scandal, HAR HAR HAR.
This is a selfish egotistical move when the economy and livelihood of hundreds of thousands of people in WA is on the line.
Yeah, making a mockery of politics.
Is that really what you want your civic contribution to be?
Stuff like this demeans the importance of what is at stake and only keeps serious, qualified people away from the circus you are creating.
Gay sex scandal, HAR HAR HAR.
This is a selfish egotistical move when the economy and livelihood of hundreds of thousands of people in WA is on the line.
9
@2
and this is why he'd probably be a good mayor for this city. he's got my vote
You are such a self-absorbed, useless idiot.
and this is why he'd probably be a good mayor for this city. he's got my vote
10
I'll vote for you if you agree to stay in office. Otherwise you're a chickenshit just like the rest.
12
You're totally underselling yourself. Put together a coherent agenda for change, win, and STAY AS MAYOR. It's government of the people - not the ex-county councilmembers ...
13
If you were seriously running, I'd seriously consider voting for you. Don't just assume you're unqualified.
But to run as a joke, in times like this, is egotistical at best and harmful at worst. What kind of opposition and fundraising and media coverage are you going to trigger for less-qualified candidates.
Take politics seriously or stick with the sex column.
But to run as a joke, in times like this, is egotistical at best and harmful at worst. What kind of opposition and fundraising and media coverage are you going to trigger for less-qualified candidates.
Take politics seriously or stick with the sex column.
16
Hell, I'll vote for ya. So what if I don't live in Seattle? That's never stopped anyone before. And I'll definitely be there for Lap Dance Day.
17
yeah let's play Russian Roulette to find our next mayor.
if Conlin won't run, what makes you think he's accept once you resign?
i guess that's the point. you don't really care about who is mayor as long as you get on more talk shows or sell more books.
if you CARED about Seattle, you would not do this.
if Conlin won't run, what makes you think he's accept once you resign?
i guess that's the point. you don't really care about who is mayor as long as you get on more talk shows or sell more books.
if you CARED about Seattle, you would not do this.
18
yeah, I'll vote for you!
I'm an idiot who doesn't care about the difference between American Idol and thoughtful governance. Fuck it, how important is mayor anyway?
I'm an idiot who doesn't care about the difference between American Idol and thoughtful governance. Fuck it, how important is mayor anyway?
19
Dang, you made me laugh Dan Savage. I guess time will tell if you end up running. Here's hoping you scare those on the fence to get down.
24
you can't force someone to be mayor Dan. if conlin "doesn't have the balls" to run then he doesn't have the determination and resolve we need in a mayor.
you are embarrassing yourself with this post. it just says desperate and needy for attention. don't make the city suffer through this not funny, not constructive exercise in self-promotion.
you are embarrassing yourself with this post. it just says desperate and needy for attention. don't make the city suffer through this not funny, not constructive exercise in self-promotion.
26
lame.
selfish.
stupid.
egotistical.
counterproductive.
for one of the top people at Seattle's alt weekly you are surprisingly out of touch with youth and politics in the age of Obama.
don't you get it? this kind of cynicism about politics (let's have a Lap Dance Day and Gay Sex Scandal) is not what people want. It's not funny. Times are too serious and people are too determined to re-make America for this to get any traction. You're too old and too out of it!
selfish.
stupid.
egotistical.
counterproductive.
for one of the top people at Seattle's alt weekly you are surprisingly out of touch with youth and politics in the age of Obama.
don't you get it? this kind of cynicism about politics (let's have a Lap Dance Day and Gay Sex Scandal) is not what people want. It's not funny. Times are too serious and people are too determined to re-make America for this to get any traction. You're too old and too out of it!
27
Sure you'll resign Dan.. Yeah right! Once you taste the sweet flavor of power you just want more.
But if you do, please start wearing drag again and go for Elizabeth I. You can start your first speech "You may have princes greater than I, but none will love you as much!"
But if you do, please start wearing drag again and go for Elizabeth I. You can start your first speech "You may have princes greater than I, but none will love you as much!"
28
Dan, seriously... if you actually won the mayoral race and had all that power to make positive changes in this city... you would just make a silly speech, have a laugh, and call it quits? Seriously?
I understand your premise and your self-doubt, but lesser qualified people have been elected to higher positions. If you are truly "in it to win it" then let the foundation of this be a chance to make some real improvements, not some joke that results in a national spectacle (the would probably be right-wing pundits wet-dream material) and an "isn't that bad" sort of mayor.
I understand your premise and your self-doubt, but lesser qualified people have been elected to higher positions. If you are truly "in it to win it" then let the foundation of this be a chance to make some real improvements, not some joke that results in a national spectacle (the would probably be right-wing pundits wet-dream material) and an "isn't that bad" sort of mayor.
29
@8: Your post assumes that politics isn't already a joke, which is a very questionable assertion.
30
Shorter Haters: Dan Savage shouldn't run for mayor because his reasons for running are exactly the same as those of most of the people who DO normally run for mayor.
32
We're lucky to have you in Seattle, Dan. And you'd probably make a fine Mayor - after all, you have administrative experience riding herd on a bunch of stubborn contrarians (ECB, Mudede), which is perhaps more impressive than riding herd on our reasonably pliant and not especially controversial City Council.
When can I write a check?
When can I write a check?
33
@28, agreed. Although the lesser people aspiring to higher positions didn't work out so well in Darcy's case. Close though. And we're Seattle; not Factoria.
34
POLITICS FAIL.
Clueless Stranger guy doesn't even understand his own audience.
Oh, yes, Dan. Tell us how we can help get your name on the ballot.
Clueless Stranger guy doesn't even understand his own audience.
Oh, yes, Dan. Tell us how we can help get your name on the ballot.
35
Bring it on Dan! If you're a true Chicagoan, you know that to become Hizzoner, that the "election" process is purely incidental. Don't be passive aggressive about it - just run, become da mare, and do something worthwhile.
36
@31 FTW
Easier to whine and insult those who try than to actually do something for Seattle yourself.
Easier to whine and insult those who try than to actually do something for Seattle yourself.
38
Yeah, after the initial rush of this idea wears out, it's just a bad idea. Run to win and be mayor, or don't bother.
39
What I cannot believe is serious are the people who take this election so seriously that they urge Dan Savage not to run. They are the ones who are out of touch and not Savage.
40
poor ECB, stuck actually trying to cover local politics at a paper run by immature dipshits who think the mayor's race is just one big joke about titty bars and blow jobs.
42
@31: That's the entire point, genius. The idea is that more people would be willing to cast an anti-Nickels vote if it meant handing the office to the person next in line, rather than to someone truly unqualified.
In other words, this would make the race into a real referendum on Nickels, rather than Nickels vs. Loon.
There's some serious deficiency in this comment thread.
In other words, this would make the race into a real referendum on Nickels, rather than Nickels vs. Loon.
There's some serious deficiency in this comment thread.
44
Maybe somebody already brought this up and I missed it, but will there be T-shirts? I want a "Savage Mayor" T-shirt.
Also: please keep your promise to resign; I like reading your Slog posts.
Also: please keep your promise to resign; I like reading your Slog posts.
45
You ought to incorporate elements of Jello Biafra's 1979 mayoral campaign into your own. Now _that_ was a platform a candidate could go-go dance on:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jello_Biafr…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jello_Biafr…
47
pretty insulting that you think SLOG readers care more about promoting Dan Savage's Career than getting the best possible mayor.
48
You might want to do a little research on campaign contribution laws first to avoid trouble. Any free publicity from your position in the Stranger and access to
SLOG will probably be considered an in kind contribution (yes, I know that this is only a mock protest campaign, but check into the whole Colbert for President flap and the Chris Matthews might run for Senate brouhaha at MSNBC.
SLOG will probably be considered an in kind contribution (yes, I know that this is only a mock protest campaign, but check into the whole Colbert for President flap and the Chris Matthews might run for Senate brouhaha at MSNBC.
49
The Gonzo thing would be to run for Sheriff. Taking the idea more seriously than it is meant there are some pros and cons. The biggest pro is that it would cast a much needed limelight of scrutiny on the goings on at City Hall. The biggest con is that it could split the anti-Nickels vote and automatically advance him to the general election.
51
I get the feeling about 60% of these posts were made by the same person... Maybe an IP address comment limit to only THREE posts would help minimize trolling, or something.
53
@51, I'd love for these posts to show the IP address. I suspect that most of the posters who use short sentences for names are the work of one or two people.
54
I guess this is the level of commentary we're going to have to put up with, now that the wing-nuts won't have much left to do over at the PI's site after tomorrow.
55
Fuck the haters, Dan, it's a brilliant idea.
What exactly is Lap Dance Day, and when is it? Can we make steak and blowjob day an official Seattle holiday, too?
What exactly is Lap Dance Day, and when is it? Can we make steak and blowjob day an official Seattle holiday, too?
56
One day? Not enough!
You'd think we'd be past needing to mock politics, but then we have Greg Nickels. This is needed. I'll help.
You'd think we'd be past needing to mock politics, but then we have Greg Nickels. This is needed. I'll help.
57
Jeezus, what is wrong with this city? Seriously, it's not just prospective mayoral candidates in this town who lack a collective nut, the citizenry of this city is a bunch of damp, limp, pathetic, nutless halfwits. Nickels marginally competent at mantaining the status quo overall while frustrating attempts to improve public transportation and infrastructure and ankle-grabbing for condo developers. Seattle definitely deserves better, but what's really telling is that most of its citizens either think A) it's not worth the effort to try to get a competent guy elected, or B) they are actually afraid to change the big bowl of crap they have been getting fed for 7 years.
58
i've turned down a dozen job offers in SEA over the past year, never thought much of that commute. i just changed my mind after reading this story. i've already made arrangements to go back for more interview and then dan, i am moving to your city, and voting the fuck outta you for mayor.
59
Correction: you could not resign until being sworn into the office, in 2010, at which point the NEXT Council President--due to begin a term January 1, 2010--would be sworn in as Mayor. Unless, of course, no new president was elected.
So I guess we may get to find out how tough Conlin is, after all.
So I guess we may get to find out how tough Conlin is, after all.
61
Dear whiners: Seattle politics is already a joke, and not a funny one. Dan's proposal sounds far more sensible to me than Al Runte's platform.
62
This is the worst thing I've ever heard. This might be my final push back to the reasonable land of New York.
63
I like it. If I lived in the city limits, I'd vote for you.
Howard Stern didn't invent this; it's a long tradition: The Owl Party, Mike the Mover, and, my favorite, Absolutely Nobody, who legally changed his name to run for Lieutenant Governor on the platform of abolishing the office of Lieutenant Governor.
Do it.
Howard Stern didn't invent this; it's a long tradition: The Owl Party, Mike the Mover, and, my favorite, Absolutely Nobody, who legally changed his name to run for Lieutenant Governor on the platform of abolishing the office of Lieutenant Governor.
Do it.
66
Damn, it took you long enough. What, were you waiting for us to beg? I nominated you back in November on the Stranger Forums: http://forums.thestranger.com/showthread…
67
Wow, these comments are golden!
I'd much rather vote for you than Nickels. People are taking this way too seriously, though it is seriously a great idea.
I'd love to see you win. I think it'd make many great statements about the state of politics in this city.
I'd much rather vote for you than Nickels. People are taking this way too seriously, though it is seriously a great idea.
I'd love to see you win. I think it'd make many great statements about the state of politics in this city.
69
@64: I'm exaggerating... I just hate that this is what passes for political commentary / journalism here these days. When the Times folds... this really will be all we have left.
Are we ready for a 0 newspaper, 1(ish) blog town?
Are we ready for a 0 newspaper, 1(ish) blog town?
72
@ #41, The question of who should be mayor may be a serious issue, but it is not so serious that someone like Dan Savage can't make a political point by running or making a threat to run for mayor. Also most candidates take themselves much too seriously while running campaigns that lack content.
73
I'm polishing up my party perk and wiping off my card tables, Dan. Be assured that the Ladies Auxiliary will be there for you!
74
I agree with the 1rst comment. Why the hell would you want someone who is a "chickenshit" running the city? That might be the third dumbest thing I've ever heard.
75
Goddamn. You know, when Stephen Colbert ran for president, we thought it was cool as shit. But now, Dan is running for Mayor of Seattle, and it's . . . fucking cool as shit.
I wish I lived in Seattle for many reasons, and being able to vote Dan Savage for Mayor is yet another one.
I wish I lived in Seattle for many reasons, and being able to vote Dan Savage for Mayor is yet another one.
77
What Big Sven said. Do it for real or don't do it at all.
These are my hard-earned dollars we're talking about here. I'll gladly sign some of them over to you in order to help get you elected, but I can't afford to participate in just a joke.
C'mon Dan. You couldn't possibly be any worse than Mayor Gridlock.
These are my hard-earned dollars we're talking about here. I'll gladly sign some of them over to you in order to help get you elected, but I can't afford to participate in just a joke.
C'mon Dan. You couldn't possibly be any worse than Mayor Gridlock.
78
FUCK! You do it and I am relocating my useless, unemployed AND fat arse to Seattle, WA.
I love you, Dan.
I love you, Dan.
80
Dan, do it for real, I mean unqualified or not, you would still be better than some qualified yet corrupt politician...
Your husband could be First Fag... there would be nothing to stop you from leaping across the table and having your way with Anderson Cooper this time.
Your husband could be First Fag... there would be nothing to stop you from leaping across the table and having your way with Anderson Cooper this time.
83
Here's what we can expect from Savage as Mayor. When the anti-gay marriage amendment passed, Savage said in his column that all straight people could expect no help whatsoever from him, seeing as some other straight people had voted against his civil rights. By showing his bigotry, Savage explained that to him, everyone who is different than he can be expected to go fuck themselves if his desires are not met, however abstract the situation. So essentially we could just elect him and expect to get fucked if you aren't gay or the city doesn't do gay friendly things. Just like voting for a Christian, but more politically acceptable to people like me. Bigotry is bigotry!
84
83.
Can you please provide which column you're talking about? Perhaps a link?
When the anti-gay marriage amendment passed, Savage said in his column that all straight people could expect no help whatsoever from him, seeing as some other straight people had voted against his civil rights.
Can you please provide which column you're talking about? Perhaps a link?
86
Violet, will you be a co-chairlady of the ladies auxiliary with me? We could get matching outfits and hairdos!
I'm leaning towards Penneys, because they still have an in-house salon, but Sears has the most darling sweater sets....
I'm hoping that we can get enough members for a nice luncheon at the Olympic Hotel, and to spell out "SAVEAGE '09" for a dandy publicity photo.
I'm leaning towards Penneys, because they still have an in-house salon, but Sears has the most darling sweater sets....
I'm hoping that we can get enough members for a nice luncheon at the Olympic Hotel, and to spell out "SAVEAGE '09" for a dandy publicity photo.
88
You supported Bush's invasion of Iraq.
You are now unelectable in Seattle. I wouldn't vote for you just because of that.
You are now unelectable in Seattle. I wouldn't vote for you just because of that.
89
oh, yes! wouldn't that just be SO FUNNY! I will move to Seattle just to vote for you!!! I love your sex column!!!! And a Lap Dance Day OMG ROFL I CAN'T WAIT. And you would be the mayor and we could call you MAYOR SAVAGE and wear tee shirts that say that on the front of the shirt and the back could say "SEATTLE, BITCHES" because we'd have a really fun time wearing those. Count me in! Sign me up!!!
90
"A post on how you can help get my name on the ballot later in the day."
so where is it? breaking political promises already, Dan?
so where is it? breaking political promises already, Dan?
91
I AGREE WITH SPG YOU WOULD NOT BE ELECTED NOT ONLY BECAUSE OF THAT WAR BUT ALSO BECAUSE OF YOUR ATITUDE TOWARDS RADICAL FAIRYS AND DYKES OF SIZE YOUR WHITE BOY RPLACE ATTITUDE HAS NO PLACE IN SEATTLE TAKE IT BACK TO VASHON ISLAND AND BE THE MAYOR THERE
92
YES HE SUPPORTED THAT WAR AND IT IS A SHAME IT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF HE HAD NOT COME OUT AGAINST IT BUT HE DID BECAUSE THATS PART OF HIS BIG DICK WHITE FAG OF PRIVILEGE RPLACE PERSONA
93
October 2010 news report: Mayor Dan Savage declares war on Seattle's children. "It's for their own good" says the Mayor. "A few hundred orphans, widows and dead fathers in the street and that will show the liberals that I mean business."
The Mayor went on to say "Sure I made this same argument about invading Iraq and it didn't work out -well the killing did-the rest didn't work out in Iraq, but I'm convinced it will work here."
The Mayor went on to say "Sure I made this same argument about invading Iraq and it didn't work out -well the killing did-the rest didn't work out in Iraq, but I'm convinced it will work here."
94
Sweeeeet idea!!!!! Let's celebrate. Let's see, ECB can bring the red wine and Christopher can bring a couple of his child rapist friends. Oh and Eli won't be able to make it, he'll be blogging about the PI that day.
95
When ECB was cited for shoplifting red wine from QFC (true story - her court date is tomorrow!!) I wonder if she still brought her own reusable bag.
96
Read "Say yes to War on Iraq" by Dan Savage Oct. 2002
Great article in which Dan argues for killing Iraqi children to bring freedom and democracy to them. If Dan was angling for a job in the Bush administration, sadly it never came through. But the dead Iraqi kids came through-more than Dan could have hoped for. The war has been a success for Dan.
Great article in which Dan argues for killing Iraqi children to bring freedom and democracy to them. If Dan was angling for a job in the Bush administration, sadly it never came through. But the dead Iraqi kids came through-more than Dan could have hoped for. The war has been a success for Dan.
97
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Savag…
I'd like to point out that I agree with Savage on his position that this is a violation of civil rights. And that I am in favor of equal rights for everyone, irrespective of race creed sexuality etc. I just think it's pretty much bullshit to have a column in which you say you give advice and then to say that because of the actions of some bigot assholes you won't. Also, he did support the invasion of Iraq, which makes him a fucking douche bag.
I'd like to point out that I agree with Savage on his position that this is a violation of civil rights. And that I am in favor of equal rights for everyone, irrespective of race creed sexuality etc. I just think it's pretty much bullshit to have a column in which you say you give advice and then to say that because of the actions of some bigot assholes you won't. Also, he did support the invasion of Iraq, which makes him a fucking douche bag.
98
@88-92: I don't think you're taking into account his ample experience with nepotism and working with thieves and liars.
99
I purchased the following domain names on March 1 and am happy to donate them and my time to the campaign (check your stranger e-mail dated March 1, Dan). Run for keeps, Dan. Politics used to be the province of citizens temporarily serving, not a class of professional politicians who have nothing but contempt for the true needs of the people.
SAVAGE2009.COM
DANSAVAGE2009.COM
DANSAVAGEFORMAYOR2009.COM
DANSAVAGEFORMAYOR.COM
SAVAGEFORMAYOR.COM
SAVAGE2009.COM
DANSAVAGE2009.COM
DANSAVAGEFORMAYOR2009.COM
DANSAVAGEFORMAYOR.COM
SAVAGEFORMAYOR.COM
100
The way I see it, ECB cited for stealing wine from QFC guarantees she will never, ever be able to write about the paper bag tax and repeal ever, ever again.
And I guess now we know the reason why she's against paper bags. They require, you know, NOT STEALING.
And I guess now we know the reason why she's against paper bags. They require, you know, NOT STEALING.
101
97.
He gave the woman advice. He gave the same advice that he gives for that problem that he always gives (you have a right to toys; involve the guy; let him use it on you; don't buy a dick replica). He just did it in an angry way, because he was--justifiably--angry at the time. He never said that "all straight people could expect no help whatsoever from him."
Sure, it probably sucked for that woman to get the advice (advice she'd see over and over if she'd read past columns) in that tone, but hey, everyone who goes to Dan for sex advice knows there's a chance they'll be getting snark in return. And he explained his attitude to her, and anyone with a goddamn heart would have some empathy for it.
But he never said what #83 accused him of saying.
He gave the woman advice. He gave the same advice that he gives for that problem that he always gives (you have a right to toys; involve the guy; let him use it on you; don't buy a dick replica). He just did it in an angry way, because he was--justifiably--angry at the time. He never said that "all straight people could expect no help whatsoever from him."
Sure, it probably sucked for that woman to get the advice (advice she'd see over and over if she'd read past columns) in that tone, but hey, everyone who goes to Dan for sex advice knows there's a chance they'll be getting snark in return. And he explained his attitude to her, and anyone with a goddamn heart would have some empathy for it.
But he never said what #83 accused him of saying.
102
@99 OMG those are SWEEEEEEETTT. Good work HONEY!! We can do this thing together I can feel it I am so so so excited about MAYOR DAN and now we even have all the Internet URLS and we can get people from all the sites, like Facebook and MySpace and all the sites like that to give money and my cousin is a web designer and she could make a really cool logo for MAYOR DAN and there could be info for the peeps on Lap Dance day and all Dan's opinions and everythign and people could sign up and we could totally WINNNNNNNNNNNN MMAYORYYY!!!!!. I am soooooo in. I am so happy you bought the URLS!!!!!! That is the kind of smarts that we need to have to get a REAL person be MAYOR, not just some politician but a Mayor WITH BALLS. OMG LET'S GET STARTED!! I am so IN! I will VOTE for DAN!!!!! SEATTTTTTTTTTLE ROCKS
103
Dan, either run or don't run. You are either up for a career change, or not. This bein' elected to hand over the job to someone else is, well - the same thing you are accusing others of, chickenshittedness. What are ya, Ross Perot? Run if you think you can do a better job, not just to make a point (or to find new material for a book, as suggested above).
BTW. Still think you & your research assistants should set up a booth for the lovelorn at the upcoming Emerald City Comic*Con..bet you'd see some intensely repressed guys in need of advice. Good for podcasting. You should go: I met Ellen Forney there.
Haha, Savage Mayor. :)
BTW. Still think you & your research assistants should set up a booth for the lovelorn at the upcoming Emerald City Comic*Con..bet you'd see some intensely repressed guys in need of advice. Good for podcasting. You should go: I met Ellen Forney there.
Haha, Savage Mayor. :)
104
Yay!! Maybe when Dan wins there will be a big street party, just like for OBAMA!!
Dan where is the info you promised about how we can help get you on the ballot?
Dan where is the info you promised about how we can help get you on the ballot?
105
Why don't you think you are qualified to be mayor? Just wondering...I'd be happy to have you. It would be a colorful campaign with lots of entertaining press and just think of all the material you could get out of it. And for the populace--something more fun to focus on than economic misery. Really Dan, you could bring a refreshing new perspective to a deadly serious job. Go for it!
106
Here's a thought for all you folks who are so bitter about Dan's support for the Iraq war. GET OVER IT. I mean holy shit how long has it been? And how many people did likewise? Do you want to make outcasts of half the country? Should all the initial supporters of the war be disqualified forever from any job?
107
kresblamania, It's fun and easy to be self-righteous about Dan's support of the war. After all, these same people were such total, abject failures at capturing the anti-war feelings at the time and funneling that into a coherent anti-war movement, so it's probably therapeutic for them.
I'd like to see them go home and play with their giant puppets as well, but we're probably stuck with them for a while.
I'd like to see them go home and play with their giant puppets as well, but we're probably stuck with them for a while.
108
96.
It must be nice to have never made a bad decision. It must be great for everything in your life to be black and white. How wonderful to have never been so angry, so bitter, so fucking frightened that you temporarily lose sight of the difference between revenge and justice.
I wonder what it's like to have been raised so beautifully, so perfectly that you've reached adulthood with a crystal clear conscience. No votes you regret, no essays written that you no longer feel, no words spoken that you wish you hadn't.
How gloriously delicious it must feel to have never had to recant a statement or apologize for words spoken in anger and fear.
But even if you had, Dan has a larger audience than a nobody like you, so you're off the hook right? You're within your rights to hold that mirror up to him (and everyone else), but no looking in the mirror for you, right?
You smug, pious, holier-than-thou finger-wagger. Fuck off and go tsk-tsk to your family and friends. You know, those people who secretly loathe your self-righteous, myopic prating, but have to put up with you anyway.
It must be nice to have never made a bad decision. It must be great for everything in your life to be black and white. How wonderful to have never been so angry, so bitter, so fucking frightened that you temporarily lose sight of the difference between revenge and justice.
I wonder what it's like to have been raised so beautifully, so perfectly that you've reached adulthood with a crystal clear conscience. No votes you regret, no essays written that you no longer feel, no words spoken that you wish you hadn't.
How gloriously delicious it must feel to have never had to recant a statement or apologize for words spoken in anger and fear.
But even if you had, Dan has a larger audience than a nobody like you, so you're off the hook right? You're within your rights to hold that mirror up to him (and everyone else), but no looking in the mirror for you, right?
You smug, pious, holier-than-thou finger-wagger. Fuck off and go tsk-tsk to your family and friends. You know, those people who secretly loathe your self-righteous, myopic prating, but have to put up with you anyway.
109
I like the Obama Hope inspired Savage poster, but I think instead of saying "Savage", I think it should say "Snark".
110
Ah, a vanity campaign, just like I asked you not to do. Very nice.
Asshole.
If you DON'T intend to serve, then DON'T run. Don't waste the time of people who live in the real world, and whose day-to-day lives are ACTUALLY AFFECTED by the results of local elections. Asshole.
C'mon, asshole, surprise me, and YOU grow a pair, and decide to do this for real. (You probably do have enough administrative asshole skills to be able to handle the job; Seattle may be a big city, but it's not NY or LA.) If you actually go through with this get-elected-then-resign bullshit, you're a bigger asshole than I thought you were. A big, gaping, could-drive-a-Mack-truck-thru-it asshole. An asshole who has a way with words, but still an asshole.
Asshole.
If you DON'T intend to serve, then DON'T run. Don't waste the time of people who live in the real world, and whose day-to-day lives are ACTUALLY AFFECTED by the results of local elections. Asshole.
C'mon, asshole, surprise me, and YOU grow a pair, and decide to do this for real. (You probably do have enough administrative asshole skills to be able to handle the job; Seattle may be a big city, but it's not NY or LA.) If you actually go through with this get-elected-then-resign bullshit, you're a bigger asshole than I thought you were. A big, gaping, could-drive-a-Mack-truck-thru-it asshole. An asshole who has a way with words, but still an asshole.
111
@ 99 - And you think Dan DOES care about "the true needs of the people"? Please.
@ 102 - I'm reminded of Mickey Rooney & Judy Garland: "Let's put on a show!!"
@ 102 - I'm reminded of Mickey Rooney & Judy Garland: "Let's put on a show!!"
112
don't do it dan. there's just too much dirt on you, written by your own hand. i don't hold it against you, but i'm in the minority.
113
I'm already brainstorming the big gay sex scandal. Do you think you can fist yourself with the space needle?
114
ellarosa@112: what dirt? Seattle is a city of grownups. It's not like Dan's running for mayor of Issaquah. If Jesse "partied with hookers in 'Nam" Ventura can get elected governor of MN, Dan can WALK AWAY with the mayorship.
115
@114: Regular illegal drug use, some quotes that taken out of context seem extremely racist, his support of the Iraqi war, being a gay man in a quasi-open relationship, etc. etc.
None of these things are exactly deal breakers, in and of themselves, but they're not like they wouldn't cause issues for a lot of people on both sides of the aisle.
None of these things are exactly deal breakers, in and of themselves, but they're not like they wouldn't cause issues for a lot of people on both sides of the aisle.
116
Phil Busse (then editor of the Portland Mercury) also made a self serving, self aggrandizing, voter time wasting, real issue avoiding, politically disingenuous, wants to see his name on a ballot, run for Mayor. The result:
PHIL BUSSE . . . . . . . . . . Votes 9,860 7.39%
My guess is that it will yield the same result here.
PHIL BUSSE . . . . . . . . . . Votes 9,860 7.39%
My guess is that it will yield the same result here.
117
Watch out QFC here comes Erica C Barnett getting ready for the election night party. Hide the cheap wine and call the cops.
120
Brilliant, a self-obsessed man with no knowledge of administration and a career based around fairly puerile entertainment running for mayor. Dan, you can be Seattle's own Al Franken! Because the crap fest that we call city government is certainly not yet embarrassing enough.
121
Dan, your so complicated and multi-faceted, which is why we love you. You could be my "Gay Boyfriend" any day (think Ukes of Hazzard, please).
122
@116: I've known Phil Busse since law school. He has bad hair. Dan doesn't have to worry about that. I'm sure he'd get more than 7%.
My biggest question for Dan is who would be his Tim Ceis? You need a ball buster for that position Dan. Let the others do the dirty work for you while you beam and smile :)
My biggest question for Dan is who would be his Tim Ceis? You need a ball buster for that position Dan. Let the others do the dirty work for you while you beam and smile :)
123
It's a shame that people continue to not have a handle on just how farcical Washington State politics are. Here's a story about the super-serious office of Lt. Governor:
http://www.historylink.org/index.cfm?Dis…
In one memorable occasion in 1938, the colorful Lt. Governor Victor A. Meyers (1898-1991) had been threatening to call a special session Legislature if Governor Martin ever left the state. Anxious to pass a pension bill that Martin said he wouldn't address until the 1939 regular session, state pension proponents saw their chance when Martin was in Washington D.C., to argue for the Olympic National Park. Unfortunately, Meyers was also out of the state.
In a political farce that fascinated and amused the entire nation, the left-wing legislators frantically found Meyers in California on a fishing trip, and the nation watched as he raced toward the state on a variety of types of transportation, train, boat, a chartered plane, he even commandeered a State Patrol car to Olympia, so Secretary of State Reeves could attest his proclamation of a special session of the Legislature. Arriving at the capitol after her office had closed for the day, Meyers went back to Seattle and announced his intentions on the radio.
Thus alerted, Martin hopped a flight as far as Chicago. As there were no direct flights to Olympia, he chartered a plane to Spokane. At 8 a.m. next morning, Meyers was at Reeves's office demanding an official stamp be affixed to his proclamation. Reeves refused. Meyers was no longer the acting governor. The Secretary of State had gotten word that Martin had landed in Spokane just 10 minutes earlier.
http://www.historylink.org/index.cfm?Dis…
126
The only thing Dan cares about is attention. He is a fairweather liberal with absolutely no guts, intellect, or integrity. And no, some of us cannot get over his support for the Iraq war. That is a legitimate opinion to have. For a lot of us, that IS A COMPLETE DEALBREAKER. Dan knows nothing about politics or civic service. He has built his whole career upon the fact that he is a slut. He is not qualified to even read a New York Times Op Ed, much less regurgitate those opinions as if they were his own. Seriously Dan: Stick to writing about Dildos or get a REAL FUCKING EDUCATION. The educated gay community considers you a total joke.
127
Dan, as a conservative American, can I volunteer for your campaign? I have a really bad case of the flu. I am concerned that by my licking doorknobs and generally spreading germs at your campaign headquarters, that you or your family might get sick. Or maybe that kind of behavior is only OK when YOU do it? You are such an incompetent disgrace and have no idea what it takes for public service. Moreover, for you to mock the whole process by 'resigning the day after' just shows what little respect you have for the city and its taxpayers. Go fuck yourself, seriously.
131
I realize you're joking but we really do need a serious contender to get Nickles out of City Hall. Too bad you don't have the guts to give it a real shot. Maybe you'd be better at it than you think.
133
Go Dan! Become mayors and then Seattle can invade Zimbabwe and topple Robert Mugabe and then they can has freedoms, too like the Iraqiz, also.
134
#123, 124 I don't disagree that Washington politics is farcical but can't you come up with something a little more recent than NINETEEN THIRTY-EIGHT to offer up as evidence for your argument?
Like maybe the lets put it up for a vote until it finally loses Monorail? Or the endless handwringing with absolutely no action viaduct?
Like maybe the lets put it up for a vote until it finally loses Monorail? Or the endless handwringing with absolutely no action viaduct?
135
@129: I'd rather stay here and change your shitty little city into something great since the locals obviously have no idea how to do it.
136
That was mostly a joke, but in all seriousness, the bile towards transplants here is something I will just don't understand. Maybe I will never know the glory of a sovereign Ballard or fully appreciate the initiative's role in complicating the political process, but either way I have just as much right to live here as you. At this point the transplant/local ratio must be pretty close to even. It's a little too late to try to chase us all out with torches and pitchforks.
137
Pure genius! However, the truly passive aggressive coup d’état would only have been possible if you had kept your loose lips shut on the issue of immediately resigning. Now the cat is out of the bag and no one will take your candidacy seriously. And that, Dear Dan, is tragic because you may be underestimating your potential support. Oh well, I'm probably wrong to think all these lovely liberal numnutz will actually turn out to vote or do anything in terms of participation other than whine and take pot shots at one another. If only there was a way to harness all this hot air and power something with it...Don't forget, people.
138
Well Dan, if you were serious about the job I'd move back to Seattle just to vote for you. And if you were serious, you'd win in a landslide.
139
A serious question: Does the presidency of the council change after this election? Meaning, is there a chance that we have an election, you win, and then the Seattle City Council becomes a 9-way war for the presidency knowing that they'd get the Mayors office?
141
I like your style Dan. You have got my vote... but please... please... please do NOT resign once we elect you!
142
Seattle's politicians are as dumb as the people who live here. Go figure. Learn how to f*cking drive already!
143
Don't be so hasty to say you wouldn't serve Dan, Seattle could use a new point of view. Maybe you should take a few pointers from Portland's favorite Mayor. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bud_Clark
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