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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Sex Don't Try This At Home

Posted by on Tue, Mar 10, 2009 at 2:41 PM

Or anywhere else:

6716/1236721273-sabsaw.jpgA Southern Maryland woman was seriously injured in a mishap involving a sex toy over the weekend.... The accident was reported to local fire and rescue personnel about 1:30 a.m. on March 7, from an address on Rogers Drive. The man who made the 911 call said he had placed a sex toy over a saber saw blade, and then used the power tool on his partner, but the blade cut through the plastic and injured the woman.

The victim, a 27-year-old woman, was reportedly injured and bleeding. She was later flown to Prince George's hospital center by Maryland State Police helicopter.

 

Comments (40) RSS

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1
Yeah, you might want to remove the saw blade before making your own fucking machine... It can certainly be done, though. Once you get done with the fuckzall, make a drilldo.
Posted by kitschnsync on March 10, 2009 at 2:45 PM
2
ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod
That is horrifying.
Posted by Allyn on March 10, 2009 at 2:49 PM
3
They cancelled Home Improvement too early! Tim Allen, where are you when we need you most?
Posted by The Amazing Jim on March 10, 2009 at 2:52 PM
4
Is it wrong to hope that they were both somehow sterilized in the process?
Posted by carrma on March 10, 2009 at 2:52 PM
5
Of course, this is why some states and most right-wingers hate sex toys - they can be so dangerous, don't you know. Just look at the above story.
Posted by Allyn on March 10, 2009 at 2:54 PM
6
Why couldn't the dude just you his weiner?
Posted by Marq Young on March 10, 2009 at 2:57 PM
7
I'm shaking my head.
Posted by kim in portland (formerly just kim) on March 10, 2009 at 3:00 PM
8
Oh dear God. My vagina hurts now.
Posted by c to the andice on March 10, 2009 at 3:03 PM
9
The only thing that would have made this post more revolting to me would have been if, somehow, there were spiders involved.
Posted by Julie in Eugene on March 10, 2009 at 3:06 PM
10
@ 9, that image will be in my nightmares now. Thank you.
Posted by Matt from Denver on March 10, 2009 at 3:09 PM
11
I am crossing my legs very tightly right now.
Posted by genevieve on March 10, 2009 at 3:10 PM
12
Inbreeding. That's the only explanation I can come up with.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on March 10, 2009 at 3:10 PM
13
i always like that 'lust' part from Seven. This one is a runner up

for bonus points google the 'vagina collector' - not for the squeamish.
Posted by 4chan on March 10, 2009 at 3:15 PM
14
Holy crap, that was so easily avoidable.
Posted by dwight moody on March 10, 2009 at 3:16 PM
15
this is just the ghetto version of the fucksawall though? which is a real sex toy.
Posted by meanie on March 10, 2009 at 3:18 PM
16
I can't decide which would be worse, if it happened simulating sex or simulating a blowjob.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on March 10, 2009 at 3:19 PM
17
"A Southern Maryland woman was seriously injured in a mishap involving a sex toy over the weekend"

Kind of a shitty lead eh? OMG PEOPLE SEX TOYS SERIOUS INJURY!!!! Never mind the POWER TOOL.

Posted by w7ngman on March 10, 2009 at 3:19 PM
18
@8 - Holy shit. That makes MY vagina hurt, and I'm a guy.
Posted by Mahtli69 on March 10, 2009 at 3:22 PM
19
People, you gotta plan these things better. Don't go off half-cocked, or you'll wind up...nevermind...
Posted by Chris down in The Couv on March 10, 2009 at 3:26 PM
20
@18: That was exactly my reaction as well.

Gah. What is WRONG with people?
Posted by Lee on March 10, 2009 at 3:32 PM
21
Oh, crazy kids these days.
Posted by Lily Fluffbottom on March 10, 2009 at 3:37 PM
22
I think the more important question is...wtf is up with Maryland all of a sudden?
Posted by j.lee on March 10, 2009 at 3:52 PM
23
Parts of Maryland abut West Virginia, you know. Other parts contain Baltimore, where civilization was lost.
Posted by Fnarf on March 10, 2009 at 4:03 PM
24
/shudder
Posted by STJA on March 10, 2009 at 4:13 PM
25
i'm so glad i don't do cocaine anymore
Posted by Toxic Mommy on March 10, 2009 at 4:23 PM
26
Ive never been so turned on by a Home Depot sign before in my life. Think of all the possibilities. yum
Posted by i_need_a_name on March 10, 2009 at 4:31 PM
27
i think perhaps that relationship is over.
Posted by ellarosa on March 10, 2009 at 4:50 PM
28
Jesus Christ, the stuff straight people get up to ...
Posted by Pam on March 10, 2009 at 6:08 PM
29
That photo of the reciprocal saw put me in mind of the diesel powered dildo I saw ages ago in a National Lampoon parody of Soviet sex toys...

Posted by Bruce Garrett on March 10, 2009 at 6:13 PM
30
You just know that saw manufacturer is going to have to add a "not to be used as a sex toy" line on their warning label.
Posted by ferretrick on March 10, 2009 at 6:41 PM
31
very american psycho.
Posted by singingcynic on March 10, 2009 at 6:42 PM
32
Man there are some dumb shit people out there!
Posted by -B- on March 10, 2009 at 6:48 PM
33
GGG gone awry?
Posted by Ivan on March 10, 2009 at 10:37 PM
34
I would just like to apologize on behalf of Maryland. We don't all use power tools during sex. (Personally, I find that my natural attachments do the job just fine.)
Posted by Rob in Baltimore on March 11, 2009 at 7:41 AM
35
hopefully she cant have kids anymore. this in natural selection at its best
Posted by tacstar253 on March 11, 2009 at 8:48 AM
36
Jesus God that ain't right.
Posted by Greg on March 11, 2009 at 10:44 AM
37
@ #27. Best reply.
Posted by Jeremiah on March 11, 2009 at 11:03 AM
38
One wonders if she's already planning a power-pegging session for him when she gets out of the hospital...
Posted by Geni on March 11, 2009 at 2:37 PM
39
I can't imagine how the nurses taking care of this woman keep from laughing out loud!
Posted by Gampopa on March 12, 2009 at 7:18 AM
40
I accidentally the whole vagina.
Posted by Ygduf on March 16, 2009 at 10:19 AM

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