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News & ArtsMonday, March 9, 2009
??!! / Film Department of Calm Down
Posted by Lindy West on Mon, Mar 9, 2009 at 11:43 AM
Out of nowhere, there is a tiny flurry of angry comments on some stupid movie review about Ryan Gosling that I wrote three years ago:
So kids, don't do drugs or something. Or do. I forget. The important thing here is that the Goz is hottest when moving and talking, and in Half Nelson he does both. Double score!
Comments:
This review is so old, but it provides proof that Lindy West is a complete waste of time.Lindy ignores the film while childishly rambling about Gosling as if she were a 13 year-old boy with her dick hanging out of the zipper.
Lindy, it's seriously embarrassing.
I must admit, this is an especially pathetic review.
Yes!!! Exactly why Lindy West should not be allowed to review movies.
Okay, whatever. But I'd just like to say that if I had a nickel for every time I saw a 13-year-old boy with his dick hanging out of the zipper rambling about Ryan Gosling, I WOULD HAVE ZERO NICKELS. AND IF I DID HAVE ANY NICKELS I WOULD USE THEM TO TELEPHONE CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES BECAUSE SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK.
(Puffy, puffy Ryan Gosling photo from Wikipedia.)
1
Don't listen to them, Lindy! I wish it had been you that had reviewed Watchmen. Even if you hated it, it would have been a lot more fun to read.
2
It's, like, one guy. That you got that little guy so furious only proves you're doing a spiffing job.
3
Ryan Gosling is a brilliant, young actor and watching him gives me hope for the future of cinema. Half Nelson wasn't a popcorn movie, but it was a transformative film.
4
Kerry, don't forget that Lindy is the editor of the film section which means she assigns people like Paul Constant to review films like the Watchmen when clearly they shouldn't be reviewing films at all. I still say she isn't do her job too well. And despite her enjoyable take on films, it is definitely something akin to a the type of review I read in my elementary school newspaper not something I expect to read in a "professional" rag like The Stranger.
5
When I first moved to Seattle, someone told me to pick up a Stranger to find out what music shows were going on in the area and stuff. I grabbed one, flipped through it, and threw it on the floor of my car. It sat there for weeks with me not even thinking about it, and honestly, assuming the paper was a waste of time.
And then one day I had to wait in my car for someone. For like an hour. And I didn't have anything to read and theeeere was that damn newspaper. I picked up and in the film shorts section was this hilarious review of Wicker Man, by Lindy West.
I took a second look at the paper then and started picking it up every week. If not for Lindy, I might not read it at all.
And then one day I had to wait in my car for someone. For like an hour. And I didn't have anything to read and theeeere was that damn newspaper. I picked up and in the film shorts section was this hilarious review of Wicker Man, by Lindy West.
I took a second look at the paper then and started picking it up every week. If not for Lindy, I might not read it at all.
8
Since the Stranger is the only outlet for movie reviews available on all of planet Earth, it is irresponsible of them not to take film reviews 100% seriously, 100% of the time.
Also, what film review - at its core - does anything but talk about the reviewer. Lighten up, people.
Also, what film review - at its core - does anything but talk about the reviewer. Lighten up, people.
9
@4
Bitch, puh-leaze! The Stranger is not a professional rag. If you want a professional rag, why not read the Seattle P.I. - oh....ooops...they are going out of business.
Lindy is by far the most entertaining film reviewer I read and her Slog posts rule! If you want 'serious' reviews, read some staid old white guy writing reviews for the Focus On the Family, or whatever. There is plenty of room in the BS-blog-o-sphere for there to be many types of film reviewers. So chill out or go somewhere else for your film reviews.
Bitch, puh-leaze! The Stranger is not a professional rag. If you want a professional rag, why not read the Seattle P.I. - oh....ooops...they are going out of business.
Lindy is by far the most entertaining film reviewer I read and her Slog posts rule! If you want 'serious' reviews, read some staid old white guy writing reviews for the Focus On the Family, or whatever. There is plenty of room in the BS-blog-o-sphere for there to be many types of film reviewers. So chill out or go somewhere else for your film reviews.
10
I remember that he filled his tighty whitey underwear nicely, and that there was acting in it. I don't remember it being about anything other than marketing Gossling as s serious artiste.
11
Ryan Gosling is hot, and a good actor. Half Nelson was seriously unwatchable. And I like weird movies where nothing happens.
12
Your paper is so deplorable. Get a real job and a real life working as good honest people do. Most of your stories are filled with lies. If your paper is aiming at the small population of people who don't care about anyone but themselves you are succeding. Your paper is not a real paper it is a gossip column. One day that small population will loose intrest and your gossip column will be no more. People that read this paper move from place to place and are outspoken sad souls just like your writers and editor. Step up into the real world and know that no matter what you are loosing in the battle of morality.
13
i hate it when some fucker tries to tell me whats what. im like fuck you telling me whats what hows that?
15
@12 I sure hope that if the battle for morality is 'loosing', that means it will eventually fall off.
I hope you aren't a fake because if you’re real, it means we've won the battle intelligible writing.
I hope you aren't a fake because if you’re real, it means we've won the battle intelligible writing.
17
Finally, a voice speaks out from the wilderness and says what's REALLY wrong with us: we "move from place to place". The truth, at last. Stop moving around, people. Maybe heavier shoes?
Oh, and the word you want is "loosening".
Oh, and the word you want is "loosening".
20
I'm trying to imagine the kind of person who cannot appreciate the comedic genius of Lindy West, and I can't help but assume that they also like to kick puppies, take giant steaming dumps in other peoples flower beds and masturbate violently to videos of butterflies having their wings pulled off.
21
Come on, now, Lindy... everyone knows women aren't allowed to express their lusts. The downfall of society won't be far behind!
Heh heh, I said "behind".
Heh heh, I said "behind".
23
half nelson was awful, both as a film and a set of ideas.
i am indifferent to lindy west, but i appreciate that she doesn't pretend to be watching the movie from a bubble. she is present in her reviews and if you read a few of them, you can get an idea of when you will agree with her and when you won't.
in my opinion, a good reviewer won't tell me what to think. rather, she will represent her own opinion with enough clarity as to give me an idea of what i might think in contrast. lindy often does that, and when she doesn't as least i get to laugh at her for being a goofball.
i am indifferent to lindy west, but i appreciate that she doesn't pretend to be watching the movie from a bubble. she is present in her reviews and if you read a few of them, you can get an idea of when you will agree with her and when you won't.
in my opinion, a good reviewer won't tell me what to think. rather, she will represent her own opinion with enough clarity as to give me an idea of what i might think in contrast. lindy often does that, and when she doesn't as least i get to laugh at her for being a goofball.
25
If Lindy wasn't the film editor I'd agree with you, but she is and has utterly destroyed what was once a reputable source of film journalism in this city. Its really too bad for Lindy that she got this job because I like her concessions column, but get serious folks. The Stranger likes to consider itself something of a taste maker, and if this is the kind of taste making that we have going on in Seattle, well then maybe its going the way of the PI. I'm not saying I'm qualified to take her place, I'm just saying she isn't qualified for the job she has. Plain and simple. She just doesn't understand cinema at all, which in my opinion should be the first qualification for a film editor. Sure let her keep the humorous albeit quite juvenile concessions column but hire yourselves a film editor. I hear that a number of somewhat engaging and intelligent folks are about to go on the market (PI anyone).
26
oh... and wht-evr (9) if this Lindy was just part of the blogosphere and not part of a printed paper, mind you probably the only one to remain standing at the end of the ugly failings of the newspaper industry, well then I wouldn't be complaining. Problem is that her writing remains important to creating a film dialogue in this city. Unfortunately she just doesn't know enough to be given that kind of responsibility.
27
Lindy West is alright, and sometimes funny.
Where's Annie Wagner?
If I saw a cute 13 yo boy--or hell, an *18* yo boy--with his dick hanging out, . . .well, it's really inappropriate to say here.
Where's Annie Wagner?
If I saw a cute 13 yo boy--or hell, an *18* yo boy--with his dick hanging out, . . .well, it's really inappropriate to say here.
28
the stranger sucks but that's because of bethany jean clement, her stupid boyfriend & christopher frizelle. ugh.
lindy is one of the few bright spots.
lindy is one of the few bright spots.
30
Lindy sucks. She writes in that frenetic teenager style that simply shrieks "MY DADDY DIDN'T LOVE ME ENOUGH AND I FUCKIN HAVE DADDY ISSUES"
See a therapist then come back and be serious.
See a therapist then come back and be serious.
31
I live in Los Angeles, and read The Stranger online, and always check out Lindy's reviews. I have even attempted to read them out loud to my boyfriend, but failed because I was laughing so hard.
32
lindy west is a great writer. she has style and intelligence wrapped in a very funny delivery. i seek out her reviews and slog posts. personally, i think those who don't like her are just a little to uptight or outright stupid.
take for example @12. "loosing the battle of morality"... the battle OF morality? even ignoring the use of the word "loosing", that is the dumbest sentence i have ever read. this person is definitely not a fake, no troll could be so clever to write something that fucking stupid.
take for example @12. "loosing the battle of morality"... the battle OF morality? even ignoring the use of the word "loosing", that is the dumbest sentence i have ever read. this person is definitely not a fake, no troll could be so clever to write something that fucking stupid.
33
oh, also, that first comment clearly refers to lindy west's dick. read it, it says "her dick hanging out of the zipper."
apparently this person thinks lindy has a penis and there is only one zipper in the whole world.
apparently this person thinks lindy has a penis and there is only one zipper in the whole world.
34
Lindy, I just wanted to let you know your response to these comments made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt. Thank you for that. And fuck the haters.
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