I wonder about those wide-open beaver photos Dr. Laura took of her, uh, wide-open furry beaver when she was young.

Sitting bare-assed on a filthy wall-to-wall carpet with your furry bush and pink vag all at ninety degrees indicates an over-eager desire to be sexy, but no real understanding of how to do it.

Like, Dr. Laura, hello? You could've put on a garter belt and laid in a tub of frothy bubbles with only your titties and your fluffy bush showing (I saw that pose in a Hustler magazine once. It was hot. More Playboy than Hustler, though).

But, sitting bare-assed on that disgusting carpet with nothing on but tanlines made you look like a desperate, insecure young woman with not the slightest clue of sexuality or sexiness or any concept involving sex.

It wasn't sexy, my dear Dr. Laura.

It was sad.

The photos said, "Please, just fuck me. I'm just an empty person with no character, no sense of myself, so all I have to offer is my young cunt. Who doesn' like a young cunt, right? Here it is. Right between the tanlines. I'm just gonna plop down on this ugly, wall-to-wall carpet and sit here with my cooch open to the fleas and mites hopping about this carpet and to any human male who might walk into the room."

And, that sadness and desperation has never left poor Dr. Laura, has it?

The form of its expression has changed, but the sadness and desperation are still there.

She has traded simply spreading her legs and saying "please" for raging against women.

She is a bitter woman and she wants all others to be like her, so she will feel less alone.

Unfortunately, she will always be alone. She cannot drag other women down. She is unique in her accursedness.

And, deep in her embittered heart, she knows this.

Still, she has not been able to see the folly of her own self in all these years. She refuses to see the truth about herself, about her soul.

Instead of growing wiser with age, she traded numb, promiscuous fucking for rage.

Nasty older women like her who pretend to give good advice but really seek to undermine younger women because they cannot stand to see others have the happiness in life these hags never had were usually promiscuous and desperate when they were younger.

And, even back in their younger, slutty days, the sex was probably not even barely passable as sex. They probably never had a real roll in the hay with someone who set them afire and the kind of orgasm that makes time stop.

That's because they're uptight. Who knows what causes it? The cause for the cursed existence of Dr. Laura and women like her is a mystery. Is it Calvinist pre-determination? We will never know.

So anyway, after years of fruitless and numb fucking, sans the sweet, orgasmic apex or even anything approaching pleasure, they become uptight, conservative and misogynistic.

Some of them get their own radio shows.

Even though the cause of their unfortunate existence is mysterious, the evidence of their cursed existence is quite corporeal -- promiscuity in youth and rage in old age.

Dr. Laura used to be an eager, clueless slut. Now, she's a bitter old hag.