Slog
News & ArtsFriday, March 6, 2009
News The Morning News
Posted by Paul Constant on Fri, Mar 6, 2009 at 8:21 AM
Highest in 25 Years: Unemployment.
I Sure Hope Most of Those Lost Jobs Were Road Workers: WA Stimulus focused on roads.
Wall Street: Up Down slightly today.
Europe: "Essential partner," sez Clinton.
Lashing Out in Hunger: Is North Korea in a weird famine?
Lashing Out Because They Lash Out: Republicans block funding measure.
Sudan: More unrest!
That's What Eli's Been Saying: Hearst begins picking online PI staff.
Sticky Healthcare: Obama's not backing down on health care.
Remember These Guys?: Joe the Plumber sues Ohio by proxy, Jeremiah Wright says Obama "Just like any other president."
Illinois: Not gonna pull Burris from Senate.
Madoff: May have just made up the 50 billion dollar figure, and it may be closer to "only $17 billion."
I Still Play One on TV: Gupta removes name from Surgeon General pool.
His Leg Was Up His Nose: Broken-legged smuggler wears cast made of cocaine.
And now,via SF Signal, in honor of the Watchmen movie's release (if I haven't already destroyed everyone's Watchmen-watching experience forever because I am the Hitler of comic book movies), here is a classic:
1
NEWS FLASH
Wall Street DOWN today.
(maybe it's not really 'news'; how many days does it have to go down before it isn't news anymore?)
Wall Street DOWN today.
(maybe it's not really 'news'; how many days does it have to go down before it isn't news anymore?)
2
The former First Lady continues to rest comfortably at Houston Methodist hospital after a successful operation on her heart. Yesterday, she received heartfelt wishes of support and gratitude from Obama, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, and of course, her husband.
3
I am loving this "blame Obama for the recession, which magically began at noon on January 20" meme.
4
Recipe Of The Day
THE INCREDIBLE SULK'S AUTHENTIC ITALIAN LASAGNA WITH THE GODFATHER
Serves one
Ingredients:
One (1) Sulk-sized package of frozen lasagna, preferably an economy brand such as Stouffer's
One (1) DVD copy of The Godfather
One (1) 64-oz jug of Carlo Rossi wine, preferably red
Instructions:
1. Place lasagna in microwave oven
2. Prepare lasagna according to package directions
3. Place DVD in DVD player
4. Remove lasagna from microwave
5. Sit down in front of TV with lasagna and wine
6. Watch The Godfather
7. Eat lasagna and drink wine while watching movie
8. When end credits begin to roll, loudly declare, Samuel L. Jackson-style, "Damn! That mob movie was a motherfucker!"
THE INCREDIBLE SULK'S AUTHENTIC ITALIAN LASAGNA WITH THE GODFATHER WILL PROVE BEYOND DOUBT YOUR IMPECCABLE TASTE IN MATTERS BOTH CINEMATIC AND CULINARY!
CLICK HERE FOR PICTURE!
NEXT WEEK: THE INCREDIBLE SULK'S AUTHENTIC SICILIAN SPAGHETTI-O'S WITH THE GODFATHER PART TWO!
And no, I don't feel like letting it go.
THE INCREDIBLE SULK'S AUTHENTIC ITALIAN LASAGNA WITH THE GODFATHER
Serves one
Ingredients:
One (1) Sulk-sized package of frozen lasagna, preferably an economy brand such as Stouffer's
One (1) DVD copy of The Godfather
One (1) 64-oz jug of Carlo Rossi wine, preferably red
Instructions:
1. Place lasagna in microwave oven
2. Prepare lasagna according to package directions
3. Place DVD in DVD player
4. Remove lasagna from microwave
5. Sit down in front of TV with lasagna and wine
6. Watch The Godfather
7. Eat lasagna and drink wine while watching movie
8. When end credits begin to roll, loudly declare, Samuel L. Jackson-style, "Damn! That mob movie was a motherfucker!"
THE INCREDIBLE SULK'S AUTHENTIC ITALIAN LASAGNA WITH THE GODFATHER WILL PROVE BEYOND DOUBT YOUR IMPECCABLE TASTE IN MATTERS BOTH CINEMATIC AND CULINARY!
CLICK HERE FOR PICTURE!
NEXT WEEK: THE INCREDIBLE SULK'S AUTHENTIC SICILIAN SPAGHETTI-O'S WITH THE GODFATHER PART TWO!
And no, I don't feel like letting it go.
9
Krugman is good today:
1. Obama dithering with no plan for finance crisis.
2. Afraid to force banks to write down assets; doesn't recognize they are zombie banks.
3. Too afraid of the n-word nationalization which obviously is part of solution because you have to MAKE them take their losses and recognize their assets have low values.
Whether it's thru regulators inspecting them or govt. ownership or control fo the board or a law saying you are nationalized it's all the same thing and the fearful, tentative, failure to act is a big fuck up.
Ignored by too many.
Geitner doesn't even have his aides named.
As stated here before, do what the right wing govt. in Sweden did, take them all over, make them write down, strip the bad assets into a special bank, let the healthy ones go the middling one get cured and the zombies do dead.
What is Obama waiting for? The public to wise up and not be scared of "nationalization"?
We don't have ten years for that to happen.
1. Obama dithering with no plan for finance crisis.
2. Afraid to force banks to write down assets; doesn't recognize they are zombie banks.
3. Too afraid of the n-word nationalization which obviously is part of solution because you have to MAKE them take their losses and recognize their assets have low values.
Whether it's thru regulators inspecting them or govt. ownership or control fo the board or a law saying you are nationalized it's all the same thing and the fearful, tentative, failure to act is a big fuck up.
Ignored by too many.
Geitner doesn't even have his aides named.
As stated here before, do what the right wing govt. in Sweden did, take them all over, make them write down, strip the bad assets into a special bank, let the healthy ones go the middling one get cured and the zombies do dead.
What is Obama waiting for? The public to wise up and not be scared of "nationalization"?
We don't have ten years for that to happen.
16
@1 - time to buy!
No, seriously.
P/E ratios are good. Time to start dollar-cost averaging into the market in your 401(k), 403(b) and Roth IRA accounts you won't be needing money from in less than seven years.
MAKE IT SO!
No, seriously.
P/E ratios are good. Time to start dollar-cost averaging into the market in your 401(k), 403(b) and Roth IRA accounts you won't be needing money from in less than seven years.
MAKE IT SO!
17
16
Will,
I followed your advice on Monday.
Market is down 8% since then!
Thanks, you stupid bastard.
Will,
I followed your advice on Monday.
Market is down 8% since then!
Thanks, you stupid bastard.
21
UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!
Could you people please read a fucking personal finance book before spouting off?
Equities are LONG TERM INVESTMENTS that go up and down in value over time and involve risk--they ARE NOT A CASH RESERVE.
If you only purchase shares when they're going up and sell them on the way down, then you're going to lose money 100% of the time.
You have to implement a plan of systematic investing over decades, not days. Jeebus.
Could you people please read a fucking personal finance book before spouting off?
Equities are LONG TERM INVESTMENTS that go up and down in value over time and involve risk--they ARE NOT A CASH RESERVE.
If you only purchase shares when they're going up and sell them on the way down, then you're going to lose money 100% of the time.
You have to implement a plan of systematic investing over decades, not days. Jeebus.
22
@19
Sorry, bush has already claimed the "Hoover" designation long ago.
But good thing we have Obama in the White House, if it was still bush then you could have multiplied that number by 20.
Sorry, bush has already claimed the "Hoover" designation long ago.
But good thing we have Obama in the White House, if it was still bush then you could have multiplied that number by 20.
23
@17 - dollar cost averaging is a proven method of buying the same basket of stocks in time slice over a period.
Putting $100 down right now and expecting a return in under 7 years - NOT dollar cost averaging.
Putting $100 down each month over the next 2-3 years and then expecting a return in 7 or more years - dollar cost averaging.
Seriously, you're a speculator (someone who put $100 down last week and expected an increase by this week) or you're an investor (someone who started putting money away from each paycheck in a 401(k) or 403(b) and expects to take it out in more than 7 years).
I have no advice for speculators other than that options are great for separating a fool from his money - caveat, I've made money on buying and selling options, but mostly it's the broker who makes money on options, not individual options sellers and buyers.
Putting $100 down right now and expecting a return in under 7 years - NOT dollar cost averaging.
Putting $100 down each month over the next 2-3 years and then expecting a return in 7 or more years - dollar cost averaging.
Seriously, you're a speculator (someone who put $100 down last week and expected an increase by this week) or you're an investor (someone who started putting money away from each paycheck in a 401(k) or 403(b) and expects to take it out in more than 7 years).
I have no advice for speculators other than that options are great for separating a fool from his money - caveat, I've made money on buying and selling options, but mostly it's the broker who makes money on options, not individual options sellers and buyers.
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