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Thursday, March 5, 2009

News The Morning News

Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Mar 5, 2009 at 8:30 AM

Not Viable?: American retailers, except for Wal-Mart, have a terrible February.

Not Viable!: State Senate "overwhelmingly" approves viaduct tunnel.

Gay Marriage Ban: Going to court in California.

But Only If He Can Rap His Testimony: M.C. Rove agrees to testify before Congress.

No Freedom For You: China puts the squeeze on ethnic Tibetans.

Warrantless: Sudanese president rebuffs arrest warrant.

Health Matters: Obama hosts health care summit, Hillary nowhere to be seen.

Maybe the Lines Are Too Busy: New US unemployment claims ease slightly.

Buy Now: Seattle home prices still dropping, mortgage assistance on the way.

One in Ten: 11% of all US homeowners are in trouble.

Oh, No You Don't: US, Japan warn North Korea not to shoot its missiles.

Did They Try an Airport Bathroom?: "GOP Still Looking for the Bottom."

Bad Joke: Nude sex party turns into "mini riot" when man refuses to take off his clothes.

And now, via Poetry Foundation's Harrietblog, if Rimbaud were a a video blogger*.

* Say "Vlogger" again and I'll cut you.

Comments (17) RSS

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Recipe Of The Day

THE INCREDIBLE SULK'S FROU-FROU PROJECTO-PUKE SOUP WITH SAFFRON, ARUGULA, ROASTED GREEN PEPPER PURÉE AND CAT PISS

Serves one

Ingredients:

One (1) 10 1/2-oz can of Campbell's Split Pea Soup
One (1) 10 1/2 portion of cat piss, preferably from one of the neighborhood strays, the more feral the better
Some other bullshit

Instructions:

1. Open can
2. Pour contents of can into saucepan
3. Pour cat piss into can, preferably directly from Felix's understandably agitated bladder
4. Pour cat piss into saucepan
4. Heat until suitably scorched
5. Pour results into nearest available bowl, preferably a clean one
6. Eat
7. As Paul "I Officially (Heart) The Incredible Sulk" Constant his very self once proudly proclaimed in these very electronic pages of The Slog, "HORK!"

THE INCREDIBLE SULK'S FROU-FROU PROJECTO-PUKE SOUP WITH SAFFRON, ARUGULA, ROASTED GREEN PEPPER PURÉE AND CAT PISS WILL MAKE YOU VIOLENTLY PROJECTILE VOMIT IN PUBLIC, SO MUCH SO THAT A PHOTOGRAPH OF SAID GASTRONOMIC EMBARRASSMENT WILL SHOW UP AS THE COVER ART OF NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE OF THE STRANGER!

CLICK HERE FOR PICTURE!

And no, I don't feel like letting it go.

Posted by The Incredible Sulk on March 5, 2009 at 8:46 AM

What, a former First Lady has open heart surgery and it doesn't warrant being in the morning news?

Posted by raindrop on March 5, 2009 at 8:46 AM

Vlogger

;-P

Posted by Fred34 on March 5, 2009 at 8:47 AM

@1: Like it or not, it doesn't matter what you feel, but it does matter what everyone thinks of you.

Posted by Chip Chipmunk on March 5, 2009 at 8:50 AM

Only if she had croaked, Raindrop.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on March 5, 2009 at 8:51 AM

@3: CUT!

@2: Apparently not.

@1: More recipes should come with projectile-vomiting ALL CAP codas.

Posted by Paul Constant on March 5, 2009 at 8:53 AM

The nudist story is pretty funny. They were totally right to kick the clothed guy out - it's not a peep show. I also liked the use of the word "argy-bargy."

Posted by Aislinn on March 5, 2009 at 8:57 AM

1
Thanks for the pic!

Posted by You Rule on March 5, 2009 at 9:18 AM

Sulk, I hate to break it to you, but I'm pretty sure that picture's already been on the cover of The Stranger, about ten years ago.

After seeing the results of the recent Detroit auto show, I think GM is in fact doomed. The Volt, the thing they're betting the company on, is a loser -- sure, it's neat, but it's $35k. When BYD from China makes it to the US market with theirs, they're going to wipe the floor with Chevy. Warren Buffett thinks so too.

Posted by Fnarf back from Mexico on March 5, 2009 at 9:26 AM

what's john bailo doing in brisbane?

Posted by scary tyler moore on March 5, 2009 at 9:28 AM

@10
aren't john bailo and raindrop the same person?

Posted by downtown clown on March 5, 2009 at 10:27 AM

@11: No.

Posted by raindrop on March 5, 2009 at 10:54 AM

Thank you for the use of the subjunctive tense of "to be" in the Rimbaud reference.

Posted by LeslieC on March 5, 2009 at 11:00 AM

I have to disagree with you on the not viable ranking for American Retail.

In actual terms, these are better than expected numbers, and it indicates an inflection in jobs as well.

Translation for non-investors: Start putting money away in your 401(k) and 403(b) stock index funds NOW.

Posted by Will in Seattle on March 5, 2009 at 11:19 AM

sadly I agree with Fnarf about the pricing point of the Volt.

Until US auto firms can crank out a plug-in hybrid or full electric vehicle for around $22K, they're going to lose this battle - and the subsequent war.

Posted by Will in Seattle on March 5, 2009 at 11:21 AM

yep- US cars DOA. Ford had a good thing with the hydraulic energy storage system, but shelved it, to make more $$ on their Exploder. Lets go back to the 30s & 40s & buy custom crank-outs from all the unemployed machine shop guys who used to subcontract for Boeing, GM, Chrysler, L-M, Ford, etc (while the Japanese continue to eat our collective lunch).

Vlogger, no? go retro? V---ger? ^..^

Posted by herbert browne on March 5, 2009 at 12:08 PM

How can you discuss Rimbaud here without people hearing "Rambo"?

Posted by Amelia on March 5, 2009 at 1:15 PM