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Friday, February 20, 2009

Crime If A Woman Comes Up to You In Pioneer Square and Starts Grabbing Your Junk, She's Probably Trying to Steal Your Wallet

Posted by on Fri, Feb 20, 2009 at 4:55 PM

If you're walking through Pioneer Square and a middle-aged woman tries to fondle you, she's probably trying to steal your wallet.

According to a police report filed on February 18th, two men reported that while they were walking through Pioneer Square at about 10pm, they were accosted by a 50 to 65-year-old woman with a cane, who approached one of the men and grabbed his testicles. "While he was distracted," the report says, "the woman took his wallet."

Police are investigating the case as a "strong-armed robbery."

 

Comments (7) RSS

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1
lucky!
Posted by paulus on February 20, 2009 at 5:05 PM
2
Duh.
Posted by Vince on February 20, 2009 at 6:17 PM
3
Unfortunately for dudes, that's as good as heterosexual sex gets in Seattle.

Posted by Good As It Get! on February 20, 2009 at 7:13 PM
4
Thank god. If I hadn't read this, and a middle-aged transient woman tried to fondle me in Pioneer Square, I would have probably just assumed she was randomly really horny.

Now I know. When she grabs my balls, I will shout: "THAT'S MY PURSE!" (and kick her in the crotch).
Posted by Lee on February 20, 2009 at 10:55 PM
5
Thank Christ for Slog commenters and King of the Hill references.
Posted by jonahsl on February 21, 2009 at 1:15 AM
6
Or it might also be me in drag. I do that sometimes. You'd swear I was a woman. Or at the very least a chick with a dick.
Posted by Pervy Perv on February 21, 2009 at 6:18 PM
7
She'll be really surprised she squeezed me off for nothing. I don't keep my money in my wallet.
Posted by Dead Eddie on February 25, 2009 at 2:00 AM

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