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Monday, February 16, 2009

??!! If Ever There Were a Better Bookend to No Dick Day

Posted by Sam Machkovech on Mon, Feb 16, 2009 at 7:48 PM

This April, Neverland Ranch will be taken apart bit-by-bit in auction form.

f87f/1234841882-neverlandgates.jpg

Wouldn't those gates look nice in front of your Capitol Hill condo? They'll be up for sale, as will a pair of official scissorhands from Edward Scissorhands, rhinestone-covered gloves, rhinestone-covered socks, a life-size statue of Superman, jewel-encrusted stuff, and, among other Disney-obsessed paraphernalia, the only golf cart worth driving to a NAMBLA convention:

8cd8/1234842177-jackson-pan.jpg

I'd like to imagine that Michael got the first edition of this cart, only to send it back with a specific demand to redo the ears.

More stuff listed here and here.

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I like those rhinestone socks, actually... Too bad I could bedazzle some myself for much less money, and they wouldn't be tainted with chimo sweat.

Posted by Aislinn on February 16, 2009 at 8:10 PM

his golf cart head is so tiny...

Posted by olive on February 16, 2009 at 8:26 PM

"If ever there was . . . " Don't you mean 'were'?

Posted by subjunctivitis on February 16, 2009 at 9:26 PM

Unfortunately having a lot of money doesn't give you good taste. Christ that's a load of tacky crap.

Posted by sfmike64 on February 16, 2009 at 9:42 PM

@3, whoops.

Posted by Sam M. on February 16, 2009 at 10:05 PM

Oh, if there is a God and they are just and merciful, I'll somehow end up in possession of that sweet, sweet golf cart.

Posted by Jessica on February 16, 2009 at 10:43 PM

It looks like Michael outdid both Jeff Koons and Damien Hirst.

Posted by arts&letters on February 16, 2009 at 11:56 PM

For the last two weeks I've had stuck in my head, "I was born a NAMBLA man" to the tune of the Allman Brothers' "Ramblin' man"

Posted by M on February 17, 2009 at 12:43 AM

OH SWEET CHRIST WHERE ARE HIS ARMS

Posted by laterite on February 17, 2009 at 7:56 AM

I like how I was picturing these fancy pants socks (delicate, hand-knit silk things covered in jewels, perhaps) but in reality they're just sweat socks that are an unfortunate victim of grandma's bedazzling fit.

Posted by Bethundra on February 17, 2009 at 8:32 AM

Can't they just change the name of the place to Never, Never, Never Again Land?

Posted by michael strangeways on February 17, 2009 at 9:38 AM

What a load of gawdawful junk!

Posted by Vince on February 17, 2009 at 10:16 AM

The swashy, script lettering over the gateway? It was never designed to be used in ALL CAPS!

Please, amateur typesetters, please ... even Comic Sans would have been a better choice.

Posted by Brandon Burt on February 17, 2009 at 7:00 PM