Slog
News & ArtsFriday, February 13, 2009
Housekeeping IMPORTANT SLOG ANNOUNCEMENT
Posted by Paul Constant on Fri, Feb 13, 2009 at 10:49 AM
Dear Slog Commenters:
You have commented, and we have listened.
Monday, February 16th will be No Dick Day on Slog. All day Monday, we will delete any comment that is either made by a dick or can be construed to be dickish by our committee of professional dick detectors.
We are not doing No Dick Day to be dicks. We are doing No Dick Day to celebrate commenters who are thoughtful and funny and respectful of things like basic fucking human dignity. We hope that commenters like Elenchos, Napoleon XIV, Fnarf, The Original Monique, and Hernandez will take the opportunity to teach the dicks how it's done.
On Monday, if you are a dick, you will be deleted. See you then!
Love,
Slog
3
I was reading on Fox News today um, what was it....? Oh yeah the fucking 1st Amendment.
So does that mean ECB, Dan, Chuck and the rest of the Stranger are not going to post anything. Is the Slog going to be dead? Is the Slog moving over to the vacant PI space?
So does that mean ECB, Dan, Chuck and the rest of the Stranger are not going to post anything. Is the Slog going to be dead? Is the Slog moving over to the vacant PI space?
4
Should we read anything into the fact that your No Dick Day logo is the international symbol for inderdiction superimposed on an obviously recognizable charicature of Fnarf?
5
Small dick @3:
Learn what the 1st Amendment is, dick. You have the right to say whatever you want. Just go make your own place to say it.
Dick.
Learn what the 1st Amendment is, dick. You have the right to say whatever you want. Just go make your own place to say it.
Dick.
6
WTF? Elenchos is the biggest dick on this thing. He hates on and insults EVERYONE and EVERYTHING.
https://twitter.com/pintsize0101/status/…
https://twitter.com/pintsize0101/status/…
9
"The core mobilizing myth of fascism which conditions its ideology, propaganda, style of politics and actions is the vision of the nation's imminent rebirth from decadence."
Slog will never be its old self.
Slog will never be its old self.
10
I can't believe I didn't get a not a dick shout-out.
But, just to clarify, are we allowed to be thoughtful, funny, intelligent dicks? Or do we have to be thoughtful, funny, and intelligent really nice people. Because if it's the second one, there may be no commenters left on Slog at all.
But, just to clarify, are we allowed to be thoughtful, funny, intelligent dicks? Or do we have to be thoughtful, funny, and intelligent really nice people. Because if it's the second one, there may be no commenters left on Slog at all.
14
So the 16th will otherwise known as Mutual Masturbation Day. You have to be on the guest list to attend.
15
Hey Slog,
Just wondering if you'll do the same for your dickish posts on Slog. Like the Mudede post that included a picture, without attribution, which violated someone else's copyright. You know, like that dickish thing that sex columnist did when she stole Savage's work?
So how about it? Will you be policing your own posters, too?
Just wondering if you'll do the same for your dickish posts on Slog. Like the Mudede post that included a picture, without attribution, which violated someone else's copyright. You know, like that dickish thing that sex columnist did when she stole Savage's work?
So how about it? Will you be policing your own posters, too?
16
"fascism is a form of political behavior marked by obsessive preoccupation with community decline, humiliation or victimhood and by compensatory cults of unity, energy and purity, in which a mass-based party of committed nationalist militants, working in uneasy but effective collaboration with traditional elites, abandons democratic liberties and pursues with redemptive violence and without ethical or legal restraints goals of internal cleansing and external expansion"
Thee Elite: Elenchos, Napoleon XIV, Fnarf, The Original Monique, and Hernandez
jajaja
Thee Elite: Elenchos, Napoleon XIV, Fnarf, The Original Monique, and Hernandez
jajaja
17
Whoever volunteered for the dick-deleting job should get a medal of some sort. A Purple Dick, perhaps.
18
Fuck off, Paul. Go get run over by a car. I hope you fall down and break your leg and can't get up and your penis is chewed off by laughing wolves.
Just kidding! Testing the filter, as it were. But it's easy for me, because I am 79% dick, more if I haven't had my coffee.
That's not me, NaFun. I don't have a moustache. Or do you prefer "mustache"? "Mustache" is gauche, I think.
Just kidding! Testing the filter, as it were. But it's easy for me, because I am 79% dick, more if I haven't had my coffee.
That's not me, NaFun. I don't have a moustache. Or do you prefer "mustache"? "Mustache" is gauche, I think.
22
Oh, no. The comments are going to look like:
I have a feeling that people are going to be more dick-y than usual just to be a dick to the person who's deleting comments.
Also, dick.
COMMENT DELETED: Dick
COMMENT DELETED: Dick
COMMENT DELETED: Dick
COMMENT DELETED: Dick
COMMENT DELETED: Dick
COMMENT DELETED: Dick
I have a feeling that people are going to be more dick-y than usual just to be a dick to the person who's deleting comments.
Also, dick.
26
Hi Paul,
So we know what to expect, maybe you could list the "dick" comments on Christopher's "props to a child molester" post as an example??
Given journalistic standards at Slog we have no idea what you consider dick comments to actually be.
So we know what to expect, maybe you could list the "dick" comments on Christopher's "props to a child molester" post as an example??
Given journalistic standards at Slog we have no idea what you consider dick comments to actually be.
27
16
FTW
SLOG is one big Liberal Homosexual PC Cult.
Anyone who disagrees with the orthodox theology is a 'troll' or, better yet, a 'dick'.
FTW
SLOG is one big Liberal Homosexual PC Cult.
Anyone who disagrees with the orthodox theology is a 'troll' or, better yet, a 'dick'.
29
COMMENT DELETED: Dick.
We'd rather not moderate your comments, but off-topic, gratuitously inflammatory, threatening, or otherwise inappropriate remarks may be removed, and repeat offenders may be banned from commenting. We never censor comments based on ideology. Thanks to all who add to the conversation on Slog. Also, don't be a dick.
We'd rather not moderate your comments, but off-topic, gratuitously inflammatory, threatening, or otherwise inappropriate remarks may be removed, and repeat offenders may be banned from commenting. We never censor comments based on ideology. Thanks to all who add to the conversation on Slog. Also, don't be a dick.
30
Sounds interesting, but really, it's only gonna work if the folks at The Strangler refrain from being dicks (and dickettes) too.
33
Um, I've been away. Have we been freeped or something?
Though I have to admit, I am the biggest pussy of all time.
Though I have to admit, I am the biggest pussy of all time.
34
nah, 23 FTW!
it should be an interesting weekend on the SLOG, what with all the dicks getting the dicky dickishness out of their (our?) systems before monday comes .... i'll be tuned in!
it should be an interesting weekend on the SLOG, what with all the dicks getting the dicky dickishness out of their (our?) systems before monday comes .... i'll be tuned in!
36
You're going to be too busy deleting comments to actually post anything. That said, SHOUT OUT TO GREG!
37
@Greg and Jocelyn - I know what you mean. I feel like I've finally made it, which I fully understand is mildly pathetic. Look at me, I'm a Slog-o-fascist Elite!
38
I totally approve of removing the dicks, but there's also a lot of cunts on the slog. They've got to go too. Pricks? Out of here. The twats? Gone. Boners? Pussies? Tools? See you later.
It goes without saying that you will NEVER get rid of all the assholes.
It goes without saying that you will NEVER get rid of all the assholes.
40
Let me see if I can practice:
Oh Paul, you are such a brilliant man! This is the best idea ever thought of, anywhere, ever! The Stranger staff are all fantastic people, above criticism of any sort, and I wish all of you could have my babies! <3<3<3 I am a mere ant among such intellectual giants. I love the Stranger, and because of the Stranger I love my life, and I owe everything to you guys, and more importantly to this very post! If only every day could be Stranger Day!
Oh Paul, you are such a brilliant man! This is the best idea ever thought of, anywhere, ever! The Stranger staff are all fantastic people, above criticism of any sort, and I wish all of you could have my babies! <3<3<3 I am a mere ant among such intellectual giants. I love the Stranger, and because of the Stranger I love my life, and I owe everything to you guys, and more importantly to this very post! If only every day could be Stranger Day!
41
@6 = Winner. Need a screed? Elenchos is your guy/girl/whatever. If it doesn't agree with your political views, BOOM! Dickbomb on yo ass.
43
No harm or ill will meant to commenters who didn't get mentioned in the post: I was using positive examples of commenters that were mentioned in yesterday's post about Slog dicks.
44
I am absolutely crushed that I wasn't on either the "not a dick" list here nor on the other "wish they'd post more" list on the other thread. I am shallow, and popularity matters to me. Plus I like to think of myself as exceedingly polite.
45
Gurldoggie, your worldview is cramped and insufficient. Assholes, sure, but what about asswipes? Or motherfuckers, or cocksuckers, to say nothing of motherfucking cocksuckers?
Me, I will be seeking outlets through which to vent my spleen, and possibly pancreas as well.
Me, I will be seeking outlets through which to vent my spleen, and possibly pancreas as well.
47
Yea! lets hope this works out--I've seen way too many forums fail due to unchecked dickery. Of course it is a fine line--I've also seen moderators impose their will too much and then discussions dissolve into battles about the policing.
48
Oh man! I hope you make this a regular feature because I will be off the innerwebs that day and on vacation.
49
To stretch the experiment, I think ECB should make a lot of posts, preferably about bikes & feminism.
50
Fnarf? Fucking FNARF is part of your gold standard for dicklessness? That guy is a raging asshole.
I, of course, know myself well enough to know that I may as well just take Monday off.
I, of course, know myself well enough to know that I may as well just take Monday off.
51
BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! SSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
geez, if you're going to RUIN the slog for a day you should at least compile all the deletable dick comments and post them all in one big mega-dick post. you know, so we can learn from them. how will we know what a dick comment looks like if it's been deleted?
geez, if you're going to RUIN the slog for a day you should at least compile all the deletable dick comments and post them all in one big mega-dick post. you know, so we can learn from them. how will we know what a dick comment looks like if it's been deleted?
52
@40. It's not an all or nothing proposition -- dick or fawning sycophant. There's a way to disagree with posters and commenters without being a dick. Thoughtful, rational disagreements are what make (made?) Slog so interesting -- I wouldn't have spent any time here at all if all the comments were as you describe...
53
This is a perfect idea. This way Slog can go back to what the frequent commenters have always hoped for: an exclusive community of group think and mutual masterbation. Might as well change the masthead to "Slog: Striving for Irrelevance since 2006". Congrats to the whiners.
54
Big Sven if it makes you feel any better one of my best friends and I have talked more than once about our favorite commenters on SLOG and your name has come up every time - you're his fave and one of mine too!
Shout out to the 'Quah!!
Shout out to the 'Quah!!
55
Do any of the people claiming that screening comments on the blog for a local alternative weekly newspaper heralds an imminent descent into 1984 style fascism feel a little, well, silly? I personally don't think I could say "first they came for the race-baiting trolls...and I said nothing," with a straight face.
As big a believer as I am in the First Ammendment, I don't think anonymous comments on someone else's website are constitutionally guaranteed.
As big a believer as I am in the First Ammendment, I don't think anonymous comments on someone else's website are constitutionally guaranteed.
56
@49 - Ha! If I were ECB, I would totally do that. Post something about Hillary, sexism, or handicapped people on buses; sit back; laugh.
57
Can we add those who use the name field for commenting or general snarkieness to the dick list, please.
59
I agree with @51. Save all the dick comments and post them.
Or better yet, have a "Dick Day" on Slog as well, where all the non-dick comments are deleted.
Or better yet, have a "Dick Day" on Slog as well, where all the non-dick comments are deleted.
60
Thanks, Mr. Herriman@54. I feel better. Now if I can just break this whole "self worth = popularity" thing...
61
@30 - yup. Guess that means the staff is taking the day off.
Funny that so many at the paper are trying to avoid dicks for once.
Funny that so many at the paper are trying to avoid dicks for once.
63
I would apologize for confusing you with Eric from Boulder, NaFun, except that I'm a raging asshole and apologizing is against our union contract. If you want an apology, you're going to have to contact the buttmunchers.
65
dick dick dick dick of earl
dick dick dick of earl
dick dick dick of earl
dick dick dick of ear
as i walk through this world
nothin' can stop the dick of earl...
dick dick dick of earl
dick dick dick of earl
dick dick dick of ear
as i walk through this world
nothin' can stop the dick of earl...
66
Can you also delete dumbasses as well as dicks? Because some people are tired of dumbasses as well. And to echo kid icarus, WORD UP GREG!
67
@33 - yeah, more freepers than usual. It's the PI that's causing it, exacerbated by the success with Saddlebacking and Santorum.
68
I suppose the definition of "dick" is "anyone who disagrees with whatever Stranger writers pull out of their asses and call journalism", eh? So, I guess it's freedom of speech only when Dan Savage gets to speak? You fucking hypocrites.
70
Oh, this will be fun! Just watching the inconsistent application of irrational criteria will inspire a whole shitload of passionate, not to say violently psychotic, debate when the latex is removed from the dicks again. God damn, Slog is going to be mighty exciting on Monday!
74
I am unemployed so if you need anyone to be on dick patrol let me know if not I will be on dick patrol at one of the bath houses. What one would the Slog recommend?
76
@68: amazingly, you're still allowed to start your own blog and say whatever the hell you want. I know! Shocking.
78
I think it'll be refreshing to read some Sloggers' "attempts" at getting their points across without resorting to crudity, logic shortcuts, ad hominems, colorful slang, misogyny, misandrogyny, homophobia, heterophobia, bi-phobia, frustration and anger. Some of you may even for a change try to be subtle or sly or deceptively subversive. I welcome all people at all times using their so-called "education" instead of their prejudices.
I hope the SlogDickFilter (tm) is roadtested before Monday.
On second thought, there will be so many comments deleted on Monday that that "word poster" generated the other day by that IBM computer analyzing the SLOG will only display "comment deleted" instead of "just like fucking people" or whatever the poster said...
I hereby challenge Sloggers to generate instead an uplifting word poster for Monday. How about you all work in positive words into your every Slog post? We can do this SlogHogs!
I hope the SlogDickFilter (tm) is roadtested before Monday.
On second thought, there will be so many comments deleted on Monday that that "word poster" generated the other day by that IBM computer analyzing the SLOG will only display "comment deleted" instead of "just like fucking people" or whatever the poster said...
I hereby challenge Sloggers to generate instead an uplifting word poster for Monday. How about you all work in positive words into your every Slog post? We can do this SlogHogs!
79
It never fails to amuse me how fucking whiny some people get when they aren't allowed to dominate the conversation with flame-bait, juvenile dickishness, and general idiocy. It is not a violation of the fucking First Amendment for you not to be allowed to come into my living room and scream curses at me. Nor is a website forum paid for by someone else your private toilet. Learn the difference between government and private censorship. Hint: One is not Constitutionally protected.
Dickheads.
Dickheads.
80
"I hereby challenge Sloggers to generate instead an uplifting word poster for Monday. How about you all work in positive words into your every Slog post? We can do this SlogHogs!"
I positively demand you blow me.
I kid, I kid. That was just too easy.
I positively demand you blow me.
I kid, I kid. That was just too easy.
81
Yes, it truly will be fun - assuming any of those who've shown up recently dragging their dicks in the water can actually gather enough brain cells together to form semi-coherent arguments to defend whatever lame-assed set of ill-formed opinions they hold, rather than engaging in their normal spate of logical fallacies, name-calling, and spleen-venting vitriol.
I'm not holding out much hope in that regard, but it'll be interesting to see their attempts nonetheless.
I'm not holding out much hope in that regard, but it'll be interesting to see their attempts nonetheless.
82
since when is The Slog so fucking sensitive?
Also, @ 52 (Thoughtful, rational disagreements are what make (made?) Slog so interesting): maybe to you, but some of us like the dick comments too!
Also, @ 52 (Thoughtful, rational disagreements are what make (made?) Slog so interesting): maybe to you, but some of us like the dick comments too!
83
@77: I like to think that they imagine that Dan Savage holds a great position of power in our government.
86
hmmm.... i'm not dick-free, i guess.
it will be interesting to see what it's like. i'm not sure it's a real solution, but neither am i for registration. lately, slog has become less enjoyable.
it will be interesting to see what it's like. i'm not sure it's a real solution, but neither am i for registration. lately, slog has become less enjoyable.
87
But... Seattle is full of dicks! Monday will be a quiet day. Besides, I don't have work so it isn't like I'll be wasting all day in front of the computer. I'll be doing dick things off of the internet.
88
this is blatant discrimination.
us dicks want to know when you're going to have an all-dick day, where non-dick replies will be deleted.
us dicks want to know when you're going to have an all-dick day, where non-dick replies will be deleted.
92
@87, damnit, you're right! Monday's a holiday for me, I'll be playing wow instead of trolling slog. Slog, maybe postpone till Tuesday when I'll be back at work?
98
You do realize you're a Seattle rag and that your blog will be incredibly boring on Monday?
Also, WTF? You don't have anything better to do?
Also, WTF? You don't have anything better to do?
101
I'm not a dick, but I still don't like this idea. Dicks on blogs are what make blogs work. Smart commenters know not to feed the trolls, however they're necessary: Ad revenue is based on pageviews, dicks generate pageviews, thus dicks = income for you. You're picking the wrong time to indulge in bloglording.
105
I concur with #6. Elenchos should in no way be held up as a standard of non-dickishness on SLOG. His smug, self-satisfied attitude of being "over" absolutely everything bothers the hell out of me way more than a thousand sock puppet conservitrolls.
Doesn't mean he should be banned, mind you, but he's still a dick.
Doesn't mean he should be banned, mind you, but he's still a dick.
106
I think this makes me a pinko radical, but I'm always so happy when human decency is recognized and encouraged. Also, I love the suggestion made @51.
107
I think this makes me a pinko radical, but I'm always so happy when human decency is recognized and encouraged. Also, I love the suggestion made @51.
109
COMMENT DELETED: Spam
We'd rather not moderate your comments, but off-topic, gratuitously inflammatory, threatening, or otherwise inappropriate remarks may be removed, and repeat offenders may be banned from commenting. We never censor comments based on ideology. Thanks to all who add to the conversation on Slog.
111
So like, Fnarf = not a dick
Well well well, what do we have here? From TODAY:
@30, not only are you the stupidest piece of fucking shit that ever walked on the earth ("high quality food production levels" isn't even English, let alone relevant in any fucking way at all to any fucking thing at all, shit-for-brains) but you're a god-damned racist motherfucker too. Good to know. Now stay out of my fucking way or you're going to get burned up.
Jesus. I've had shits that could contribute more than you.
Posted by Fnarf on February 13, 2009 at 3:10 PM
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Comme…
So like, this is your poster child for informed discussion? For discourse?
Well well well, what do we have here? From TODAY:
@30, not only are you the stupidest piece of fucking shit that ever walked on the earth ("high quality food production levels" isn't even English, let alone relevant in any fucking way at all to any fucking thing at all, shit-for-brains) but you're a god-damned racist motherfucker too. Good to know. Now stay out of my fucking way or you're going to get burned up.
Jesus. I've had shits that could contribute more than you.
Posted by Fnarf on February 13, 2009 at 3:10 PM
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Comme…
So like, this is your poster child for informed discussion? For discourse?
112
Howdy, Growing Concern @111: Posting the same thing on two different threads is, if not dickish, at least trollish. Your cutting and pasting is tired.
113
@111: Fnarf has contributed more substance in one of his drunken, premature ejaculations than you have managed in the decade-and-a-half you've been trying to master breathing.
Wow. That was refreshing. Good thing it's not Monday...
Wow. That was refreshing. Good thing it's not Monday...
114
@112, it's relevant to both threads, so why not? It's not like it was a comment on ECB's "should I like BibiCaffe, or not like BibiCaffe?" post.
115
#97 speaks the truth. I have nothing bad to say about Joh. He is a crazy, wonderful man.
@36: I just remembered that time you were a guest Slogger and assigned me my very own userpic in the form of the Laughing Man logo. That made my day. I'VE MADE IT, BABY!
@36: I just remembered that time you were a guest Slogger and assigned me my very own userpic in the form of the Laughing Man logo. That made my day. I'VE MADE IT, BABY!
116
" respectful of things like basic fucking human dignity. "
In other words, 'agree with our agenda'.
How nice.
In other words, 'agree with our agenda'.
How nice.
121
Suggestion: If you simply can't refrain from being a dick then give the moderators some exercise and be the biggest dick you can possibly be. Maybe something will get through.
122
I don't get the elenchos haters. He can be sarcastic, snarky, and perhaps even, yes, "smug." But he was never rude and he was consistently the second funniest guy on SLOG after Mr. Poe, and SLOG is the poorer because he no longer posts.
Though I think his absence has more to do with being a new dad than the recent arrival of so many deranged Republicans and racists...
Though I think his absence has more to do with being a new dad than the recent arrival of so many deranged Republicans and racists...
123
@122
No, him leaving is directly tied to Will in Seattle pissing him off to the point that he won't write here anymore until they let him block specific user comments. If you were on my facebook RSS feed, you'd know that. Get with the picture.
No, him leaving is directly tied to Will in Seattle pissing him off to the point that he won't write here anymore until they let him block specific user comments. If you were on my facebook RSS feed, you'd know that. Get with the picture.
125
@123 - And let it show for the record that Will in Seattle is not listed as one of the commenters we want to hear more from. If anything, we'd like to hear much much less.
I would take elenchos over WiS any day of the week, dickless slog or not.
@124 - No.
I would take elenchos over WiS any day of the week, dickless slog or not.
@124 - No.
126
The over 200 commented posts should be #1 and #2. This one only has 126. It should be #3. The Christians should be #2, not the Dicks. :p
127
You mean that tomorrow will be No Muh Dik Monday? What'll I do without my daily Amanda Knox fix?
128
So I'm not going to be able to write overly-lengthy polemics containing way too many @So-And-Sos, poor grammar, frequent uses of the word "thus," and references to Hitler? Crap. Just...crap.
131
The evening of October 23rd, 2002, local police uncovered what looked like an underground animal sex club; the cops infiltrated the area and arrested all involved members who were part of NAMPLA, the North American Man Pet Love Association. When questioned about the incident by the press, the leader of NAMPLA commented, "That bitches don't know about my sex club." And when questioned about the number of animals that have partaken in the club, leader Jeff Ox said, "The numbers aren't fully calculated, but we suspect that the figure to be around over 9,000." When the press inquired about his childhood past Jeff only mentioned about last Thursday. He explained, "It all stated in West Philadelphia born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days. Chilling out maxing relaxing all cool, and shooting some B-ball outside of my school. When a couple of guys who were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighborhood, I got one little fight and mom got scared she said, 'You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Aire' I whistled for a cab and when it drew near, license plate said FRESH and there was dice in the mirror. I anything I could tell this cab was rare, but said forget yo homes to Bel Aire. Pulled up to their house around 7 or 8, and I yelled to the cab yo homes smell you later. I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Aire."
When the press questioned him about his favorite childhood activity, he simply replied "fapping to cp and furries on Caturday." And also "long cat is long". Many have speculated that if having sex with animals is for the lulz then it's just aawwwriitte, amirite. The judge gave every involved member a ten year sentence, and many cried out in horror "This is madness", while members of the press rejoiced and yelled "No, this is SPARTAAAAA!!!" After receiving his ten year jail sentence, he told his comrades of the NAMPLA club "Tonight we dine in hell!!"
Now many members have passed and most members have become An Heroes and epic fail guys, but Jeff Ox has agreed to given an interview. One question into the interview, he replied "BRB Church."
More...
When the press questioned him about his favorite childhood activity, he simply replied "fapping to cp and furries on Caturday." And also "long cat is long". Many have speculated that if having sex with animals is for the lulz then it's just aawwwriitte, amirite. The judge gave every involved member a ten year sentence, and many cried out in horror "This is madness", while members of the press rejoiced and yelled "No, this is SPARTAAAAA!!!" After receiving his ten year jail sentence, he told his comrades of the NAMPLA club "Tonight we dine in hell!!"
Now many members have passed and most members have become An Heroes and epic fail guys, but Jeff Ox has agreed to given an interview. One question into the interview, he replied "BRB Church."
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