Find Your Valentine
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News & ArtsWednesday, February 11, 2009
Sex "She's going to love you for it."
Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Feb 11, 2009 at 9:28 PM
Get your girlfriend a Vermont Teddy Bear for Valentine's Day and you'll get a blowjob. ("So much bigger than I thought! I could just kiss it and kiss it!!") That's what this commercial I keep seeing on MSNBC strongly implies. ("I could just kiss it and kiss it!") Adult women have a weakness for teddy bears and in the human female a desperate hunger for cock is a plushy-induced phenomenon. Who knew?
6
Don't gay guys want to keep straight women from giving blowjobs, so that hot straight guys will deign to get blown by their gay buddies occasionally? Shouldn't you be leading us *away* from activities that will cause our girlfriends/wives to gnaw on our tweeters?
7
Oh, man. That commercial has been driving me CRAZY!
I think if it was approached in a different manner it wouldn't be so grating, but the tone and the patronization makes me want to punch hamsters.
I think if it was approached in a different manner it wouldn't be so grating, but the tone and the patronization makes me want to punch hamsters.
9
When it comes to advertising in a capitalist country, nothing surprises me. Well, actually I'm surprised the cock and the pussy haven't made an actual appearance yet (except in American Apparel ads). I do think it's kinda funny that sex is such a huge seller in such a victorian market. Not surprising, just funny.
10
This commercial drives me batshit insane every year, but the only way to get my CSI fix is to watch Spike, so I guess it's the sacrifice I've made.
11
The funny thing about the Vermont Teddy Bear tv commercial is that I'm sure I recognize the three women in it from one of those ads that runs late on Saturdays for "Love Line" or 1-800-CHAT...
In real life, not one of those "working girls" would even look at it for less than $400, more or less a crappy or teddy bear.
In real life, not one of those "working girls" would even look at it for less than $400, more or less a crappy or teddy bear.
15
Not all adult females have a weakness for stuffed animals of any kind...in fact, receiving such a gift would only tell me that the giver thinks that all women are the same, and that he put zero thought into his choice of gift. This also applies to flowers and chocolate.
16
@15--I never mind flowers or chocolate (one is pretty, the other tasty), but a bear like that would thoroughly creep me out. I stopped keeping stuffed animals at 13, which I thought was a fairly natural development. Anyone who gave me one now... well, I'd feel like they're trying to infantilize me.
Luckily my boyfriend knows I like practical things like rain boots or hair driers for presents (and the occasional bouquet).
Luckily my boyfriend knows I like practical things like rain boots or hair driers for presents (and the occasional bouquet).
17
I totally want one of these for Valentine's Day. And a dozen red roses. And chocolates in a heart-shaped box. And a diamond ring. And whatever else the commercials say. . .
18
what is self hating about sucking off a so so straight friend?
mostly they say thanks and buy dinner
cock is cock is cock - as is - sex is fun is fun is fun
people like you dry up and sound like bitter old maids ... just saying
I do past boyfriends too - it is practical is practical is practical
mostly they say thanks and buy dinner
cock is cock is cock - as is - sex is fun is fun is fun
people like you dry up and sound like bitter old maids ... just saying
I do past boyfriends too - it is practical is practical is practical
19
Lindy West already posted this, with screen shots, last Valentine's Day: http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/holy….
22
So easily manipulated. No wonder we're so in debt. Help her with the dishes and laundry. You'll save money and probably get a blow job too!
23
@15, 16: I don't know how much I can put this message into the world: buy me a teddy bear, get punched in the balls. I'm not eight.
24
The ladies, they love things like stuffed animals and flowers. They also love the chocolate because of their periods.
Any woman who says that don't like this stuff is lying or a lesbian. And women are only lesbians because they haven't met the right man, or are afraid of the cock.
Any woman who says that don't like this stuff is lying or a lesbian. And women are only lesbians because they haven't met the right man, or are afraid of the cock.
26
Well, I for one wouldn't want the bear. Too, silly. I'd prefer scotch. Then, again I don't really care much for Valentine's Day. But, I do like men, the husband knocks my socks off.
27
I heard those bears doesn't work nearly as well as posting fake profiles on MySpace posing as a female, getting girls to send you naked pictures of themselves, and then blackmailing them with public exposure unless they blow you.
Sort of a "riff" on the strategy of the clever and refreshing Anthony Stancl
Sort of a "riff" on the strategy of the clever and refreshing Anthony Stancl
28
I got my girlfriend a teddy bear for Christmas once, back when we were in college. She hated it so much we got married a few years later.
30
Some women do love teddy bears, and I know some who do. And, some women don't love them, like me. So, it comes down to knowing your lover. If teddy bears work go for it.
31
A teddy bear is a stupid, thoughtless gift...and I'm not lying nor am I a lesbian, so there, bitch.
33
@9:
It's precisely because of our fucked-up Victorian era sexual repression that advertisers find sexual titillation so effective; show a little skin, or make a little innuendo and you immediately grab, and more importantly can hold, people's attention.
It's precisely because of our fucked-up Victorian era sexual repression that advertisers find sexual titillation so effective; show a little skin, or make a little innuendo and you immediately grab, and more importantly can hold, people's attention.
37
A teddy bear is a good gift as long as its unique. As with any gift for the ladies it has to communicate something to her. If you can achieve to do that with a gift you're safe.
39
How stupid does your gf or wife have to be not to know you took the easy way out and don't really love her?
40
Also, plush makes your girlfriend's tits HUGE, and plush causes hot girl-on-girl squeeing, and you can get hot plush talk from hot live girls if you call to order.
But my favorite thing is that it airs during Maddow.
But my favorite thing is that it airs during Maddow.
41
What the hell would I do with a stuffed toy? I'd give it to somebody's kid. I don't collect knickknacks and tchotchkes and crap. Don't give me little figurines, either. A book or a movie or a nice bottle of champagne never hurts, though.
Oh, and I don't particularly care for chocolate. I do like roses, although I prefer carnations. My husband knows these things, and is smart enough to bring me books and wine and carnations when he's feeling sentimental.
Oh, and I don't particularly care for chocolate. I do like roses, although I prefer carnations. My husband knows these things, and is smart enough to bring me books and wine and carnations when he's feeling sentimental.
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