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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Retail / Chow The Virgin Surgeon

Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Jan 29, 2009 at 2:13 PM

This very ungrammatical letter of complaint about Virgin Airlines, addressed to Richard Branson directly, is making the rounds, with seven photo accompaniments. This is near the very beginning:

I imagine the same questions are racing through your brilliant mind as were racing through mine on that fateful day. What is this? Why have I been given it? What have I done to deserve this? And, which one is the starter, which one is the desert?

You don’t get to a position like yours Richard with anything less than a generous sprinkling of observational power so I KNOW you will have spotted the tomato next to the two yellow shafts of sponge on the left. Yes, it’s next to the sponge shaft without the green paste. That’s got to be the clue hasn’t it. No sane person would serve a desert with a tomato would they.

It goes on from there, including the great line "Is that Ray Liotta? A question I found myself asking over and over again throughout the grueling half-hour I attempted to watch the film like this." I am totally willing to forgive this guy's poor writing skills because this letter is hilarious.

Comments (10) RSS

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Branson is the guy who suggested that John Lydon form a band with Devo, so appealing to his sense of observational power is a lost cause.

Posted by --MC on January 29, 2009 at 2:26 PM

John Lydon and Mark Mothersbaugh?

OK, there's a season of The Real World.

*ughh*...BRANSOOOOOON!

Posted by Damn, That Guys Rebel-ly on January 29, 2009 at 2:42 PM

That was the funniest thing I've read all day.

Posted by Aislinn on January 29, 2009 at 2:54 PM

Wizard.

Posted by tomasyalba on January 29, 2009 at 3:13 PM

That letter is perfectly grammatical. There are a couple of typos/misspellings, but every sentence is easily parsed.

Posted by Zach on January 29, 2009 at 3:28 PM

Complete faux pas to serve desert with tomato on an aeroplane. Everyone knows it requires a sagebrush chiffonade accented with fleur de sel.

Posted by emma's bee on January 29, 2009 at 4:16 PM

i agree, zach. it's british, and sort of a spoken tone, but it's no nonsensical or anything. try reading it with a british/indian accent, paul! it's fun.

Posted by spoiler alert on January 29, 2009 at 4:39 PM

was this letter written by tim kiser?

Posted by ak47 on January 29, 2009 at 6:15 PM

It’s your hamster Richard. It’s your hamster in the box and it’s not breathing.

wow, i've completely lost the will to commit suicide tonight because of this letter. The ferry will have to wait.

Hire this person! Dump Savage and Hump, and hire this brilliant, life saving human being.

Posted by ringworm on January 29, 2009 at 9:52 PM

reading the stranger while stoned is bad.

Posted by stilettov on January 29, 2009 at 10:21 PM