Thursday, January 29, 2009
Homo "That's my fiance, Chuck."
Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Jan 29, 2009 at 12:30 PM
A lot of gay bloggers are pointing to this...
...as evidence of progress and cultural change and the integration of gays and lesbians into the mainstream of American life. And it is all of those things. But I don't remember ever hearing a straight guy introduce his fiance on a game show without the audience responding with an "awww" and an ain't-love-grand round of applause. Don't get me wrong: this was an exceedingly sweet moment, props to these guys for being out and engaged, and the kind of people who watch game shows—middle Americans, older Americans—are exactly the kind of people who need to be exposed to non-threatening gay couples in ugly sweaters. But the audience's silence is just as revealing, I think, as this Wheel of Fortune contestant's casual introduction of his fiance. We are outer than ever, more open than ever, and more integrated into the mainstream of American life than ever. But the mainstream—that studio audience—doesn't quite know how to respond to us yet.
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3
But they will soon. I don't think I have even seen a straight couple more non-threatening to any kind of middle class lifestyle than those two. It's just like anything else with the mainstream. Show Peoria how normal it actually is, and they will get with it soon enough.
5
Pat Sajak is a conservative nut, but I searched on his blog and he's actually pro-gay marriage and seems pretty supportive of gay rights.
http://dontletmestopyou.blogspot.com/200…
http://dontletmestopyou.blogspot.com/200…
7
Without a hetero comparison ("a straight guy introduce his fiance on a game show without the audience responding with an "awww" and an ain't-love-grand round of applause.")
you've got nothin'. Care to flesh out your argument? Or just bitch?
Maybe it's the hand injury that's keeping you from proving your point.
you've got nothin'. Care to flesh out your argument? Or just bitch?
Maybe it's the hand injury that's keeping you from proving your point.
8
I'm surprised you haven't mentioned a conspiracy to keep them from kissing when he won the money; any straight couple worth their baby-making genitals would be smooching it up.
Peryaps they're not kissinb because they're not really in love; maybe they're a plant by the gay mafia to force us to accept them through planned familiarity. Might as well take the conspiracy to it's absurd conclusion, right Dan?
Peryaps they're not kissinb because they're not really in love; maybe they're a plant by the gay mafia to force us to accept them through planned familiarity. Might as well take the conspiracy to it's absurd conclusion, right Dan?
11
(Once I stop weeping with joy and relief at this mild milestone, I'm sure I'll have a snappy comeback. Just give me a moment...)
12
(Sniff. There.) The irony that WOF was created by the Great Closet Case, Merv Griffin, outed only after death, must be pointed out.
13
... because of Ted Haggard, Sam Adams, Jim McGreevey and all the other gays who continue to perpetuate the mainstream stereotype of gay perversion.
But the mainstream—that studio audience—doesn't quite know how to respond to us yet.
... because of Ted Haggard, Sam Adams, Jim McGreevey and all the other gays who continue to perpetuate the mainstream stereotype of gay perversion.
14
@7 - that's what I was thinking. I wish I knew whether WOF usually paused to give the audience time to "aww" and how they generally treated straight couples. Since I don't watch WOF, it's hard for me to tell whether this was actually some kind a snub.
15
I'm torn. On one hand, this does show progress in change and integration of gays. After all, it's not one special "gay" episode, complete with gay audience, which is what we'd expect to happen, rather than this. On the other hand, that silence from the audience is very telling. Also telling is the silence of Pat Sajak. Doesn't he normally ask the contestant how long they've been together or when they plan to 'tie the knot', if the partner introduced is a fiancé? But I'll take this as a good sign, ugly sweaters and all.
17
I agree that it's a sign of progess is that no one gasped, snickered, booed or otherwise disapproved. If one person had started the sweet "awww. . . . " a lot of other people probably would have followed suit.
18
@12: MERV GRIFFIN WASN'T GAY HE NEVER SAID HE WAS GAY AND TV SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID HE WAS GAY EVEN IF HE HAD SEVERAL GAY LOVERS HE NEVER SAID HE WAS GAY SO HE WASN'T GAY SO STOP SAYING MERV GRIFFIN WAS GAY!
19
This episode aired weeks ago, Dan. Nobody cared much one way or the other -- same sex fiances are unremarkable.
And all I notice here is not disgust, but Sajak hustling to get out of the shot of the two of them.
And all I notice here is not disgust, but Sajak hustling to get out of the shot of the two of them.
20
oh please. they never applaud before the challenge. they applauded after he won in exactly the same way as they do for everyone else.
at least his fiance wasn't 17. if you wanted to do something real for the gays, you wouldn't stand by a liar who began a romantic relationship with a 17 year old and smeared his accusers as anti-gay even though they were right.
wheel of fortune is hardly the problem. your lost perspective is a bigger problem than this.
at least his fiance wasn't 17. if you wanted to do something real for the gays, you wouldn't stand by a liar who began a romantic relationship with a 17 year old and smeared his accusers as anti-gay even though they were right.
wheel of fortune is hardly the problem. your lost perspective is a bigger problem than this.
21
They all still cheered and applauded when he won, which is really what the show is about, isn't it?
22
As for the idea of older Americans (and many younger ones) "not knowing how to handle" gays yet--yes: they lack a reference, especially anything so mainstream as a married couple. Even some of the most queer affirmative straights wrangle with a sort of daze at contemplating their homo friends when they are NOT the "creative, artistic, daring" single folks to entertain (and decorate) their boring, Middle Class lives, but rather something as traditional as they are--and crowding them in their own class. It's one of the core (and often underdiscussed) reasons "Gay Marriage" raises so many heteros' hackles--it runs so counter to their (stereotypical) frame of reference. Just as the homophobes are fine with us being the sexually predatory "promiscuous" singles (and scapegoats for their politics), the gay-friendly het families enjoy having the "funny weird Uncle" or "bold tomboy Auntie" around for entertainment value--and the latter unaware of the condescension of their limited regard.
So that deafening silence is not necessarily homophobic hatred, but rather the silence of stunned minds having to contemplate a new paradigm for how they frame fags and dykes.
So that deafening silence is not necessarily homophobic hatred, but rather the silence of stunned minds having to contemplate a new paradigm for how they frame fags and dykes.
23
I think it's great! And I think it has a much better impact than protesting a mormon church. When old and/or ignorant people start seeing gays in regular places, acting like regular people, maybe they'll be less frightened of them and more accepting of the inevitable.
25
I watched it when it happened because I normally catch it before Jeopardy. I would like to say that I am neither a Middle or Older American. As for what happened, I did not read anything into it.
28
You know, in thinking about it further, the producers of the show (and Pat) had to make the decision to include the fiance in the show. They could have said no. That, in and of itself, is pretty cool (relatively speaking).
And, @22... your thing about gay-friendly heteros being uncomfortable when gays don't fit in their stereotypical boxes, doesn't really ring true for me, but maybe I'm not the demographic you're thinking about. I think most gay-friendly heteros recognize that gays can be just as boring and mundane as the rest of us. If anything, I think it makes many heteros more comfortable to see the familiar, family-oriented side of their gay friends/relatives (as Urgutha said, "acting like regular people").
And, @22... your thing about gay-friendly heteros being uncomfortable when gays don't fit in their stereotypical boxes, doesn't really ring true for me, but maybe I'm not the demographic you're thinking about. I think most gay-friendly heteros recognize that gays can be just as boring and mundane as the rest of us. If anything, I think it makes many heteros more comfortable to see the familiar, family-oriented side of their gay friends/relatives (as Urgutha said, "acting like regular people").
30
@28: I'm speaking of the heteros who consider themselves "cool with gays" YET who still have a "problem with the marriage thing," not all heteros who claim to be queer-friendly.
31
Maybe, just maybe, the audience was actually fine with it and didn't feel the need to create a spectacle due to the growing normalcy of gay engagements - the show IS taped in Los Angeles, isn't it?
Or, perhaps we could assume that the audience reaction was so great and long lasting that it and the remainder of the show had to be edited to fit into the 21 minute running time - leading to Pats non-response.
You're seeing the bowl half-empty again...
Or, perhaps we could assume that the audience reaction was so great and long lasting that it and the remainder of the show had to be edited to fit into the 21 minute running time - leading to Pats non-response.
You're seeing the bowl half-empty again...
32
@18: Anyone who would be clever enough to insist that "I will not be right back after this message" be engraved on his tombstone cannot possibly be 100% heterosexual.
36
@ 30
You're talking about my dad, goes on and on about his great gay friends and then votes yes on Prop 8. You're theory does apply to him. Sorry, I can't get through to him either, but my mom voted no on Prop 8.
You're talking about my dad, goes on and on about his great gay friends and then votes yes on Prop 8. You're theory does apply to him. Sorry, I can't get through to him either, but my mom voted no on Prop 8.
37
I watched this one with my boyfriend, who has the most fucked up gaydar EVER. When the guy announced his fiance, my boyfriend was like, "OK. He is gay." I about fell over. So, I guess that this was something significant.
On the other hand, that outfit, OMG. I think they dug the sweaters out of the lost and found.
And, yes, we watched WoF. It was before Jeopardy and we were making dinner. So, :-P.
On the other hand, that outfit, OMG. I think they dug the sweaters out of the lost and found.
And, yes, we watched WoF. It was before Jeopardy and we were making dinner. So, :-P.
40
Dan probably doesn't remember ever hearing a straight guy introduce his finance on WoF because he doesn't watch it. Not cool enough a program. It's a bitch trying to stay hip, especially the older one gets.
Anyone who has ever seen WoF recently knows there was nothing out of the ordinary in the interaction between Pat and the contestant & finace or in the audience reaction.
Isn't there enough blatant hatred and intolerance in the news on a daily basis? Why look for it where it's not?
Anyone who has ever seen WoF recently knows there was nothing out of the ordinary in the interaction between Pat and the contestant & finace or in the audience reaction.
Isn't there enough blatant hatred and intolerance in the news on a daily basis? Why look for it where it's not?
41
If you're waiting for words like "fiancee" and "husband" and "wife" to not seem odd when referring to gay couples, keep waitin'.
I agree 100%, (I was in a gay wedding), but that doesn't mean it's not still strange.
If you're waiting for words like "fiancee" and "husband" and "wife" to not seem odd when referring to gay couples, keep waitin'.
I agree 100%, (I was in a gay wedding), but that doesn't mean it's not still strange.
47
@38 more like a pre-diet Mike Huckabee sweater. A Huckstable would never wear a sweater that... pale.
49
The only reason the audience didn't respond was because they couldn't get over the sweaters. They were under the impression that all gays had good taste.
50
@49, True dat. I was awwwwing over the hideous sweater and it took a good few seconds to recover. Of course, what do we know of Sajak's sexual preferences? Last time I saw him was at Mt Vernon's auditorium, donning a tri-corner hat to tell the story of George Washington's special friendship with Martha's brother.
51
Will in Seattle, I don't think Dan mentioned that GLBTs have arrived, but this sure beats the days of Ryan White.
54
We're here, we're queer, and they're slooowwwwwly getting used to it. And that's fine by me. I'm done giving a shit what heteros think of my gayness, anyway.
The sweater, on the other hand...the guy's actually rather cute, but the sweater makes him a dud.
The sweater, on the other hand...the guy's actually rather cute, but the sweater makes him a dud.
55
Today's big winner introduced her husband and son, with the same no-reaction from the audience.
I'm gonna say the audience doesn't distinguish between hets and non-hets.
Or do they get excited over loved ones when they're hot? Neither the gay couple nor the straight family today were hot. That would be looksism, not sexual orientation bias.
I'm gonna say the audience doesn't distinguish between hets and non-hets.
Or do they get excited over loved ones when they're hot? Neither the gay couple nor the straight family today were hot. That would be looksism, not sexual orientation bias.
56
It's edited Dan. You can't really tell what the reaction of the audience, or of Sajak is, because it's obviously been cut. Watch it closely, and notice how lightning quick the cut back to the stage is. It's been tightened, by a second or ten seconds, we can't tell. So, who knows?
At least they left it in. They didn't have to do that.
At least they left it in. They didn't have to do that.
57
I liked the way it was treated with such normalcy. I think you're being a bit oversensitive, Dan.
Also, that sweater is a crime against humanity.
Also, that sweater is a crime against humanity.
59
Girls, don't try to disuade Dan-
One of the traits of cult leaders is paranoia and seeing enemies everywhere and always saying how powerful and omnipresent your enemies are.
THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE AUDIENCE HATES GAYS.
PAT SAJAK HATES GAYS.
SWEATER MAKERS HATE GAYS.
Repeat 1000x
One of the traits of cult leaders is paranoia and seeing enemies everywhere and always saying how powerful and omnipresent your enemies are.
THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE AUDIENCE HATES GAYS.
PAT SAJAK HATES GAYS.
SWEATER MAKERS HATE GAYS.
Repeat 1000x
61
Ooooh, here's a thought: what if the fiance knitted the sweater for him, and he HAD to wear it on WoF? A good argument for staying single, I'd say. A hook-up might make dinner for you, but he isn't going to make ugly clothing for you.
64
That was one ugly sweater. My friend texted me saying they finally have a (open) faggot on "the wheel" and he has no fashion sense!! That is the crime here!
65
62
A chick who could knit, has good color sense, and who is really, REALLY tomboyish. Maybe. But don't ever expect me to put my face, you know, *down there*.
A chick who could knit, has good color sense, and who is really, REALLY tomboyish. Maybe. But don't ever expect me to put my face, you know, *down there*.
66
"does wheel of fortune always give the contestant RSTLNE? when did that happen?"
About ten years ago. Don't watch much, do you?
About ten years ago. Don't watch much, do you?
67
Dan, your articles use to be sooo entertaining, que triste, you're getting rather whiningly-depressing in old-age: sensing foes in all parts and all that paranoid stuff. I guess it happens to us all eventually... Oh well,c'est la vie... c'est la vie...
Kayla,
A homophobic black woman (who of course would have voted YES on 8, if I lived in Cali, since it was the blacks fault, you know! yes the blacks....) in MA.
Kayla,
A homophobic black woman (who of course would have voted YES on 8, if I lived in Cali, since it was the blacks fault, you know! yes the blacks....) in MA.
68
Dan, the only reason you have a pulpit is because we give it to you. If paranoid delusions of inferiority are manifest because of a Wheel of Furniture broadcast, maybe its time to step away and rethink your position. Of course, you can continue on this tack but be forewarned soon you'll only be talking to yourself.
71
I haven't watched Wheel of Fortune regularly in years, but I remember Pat sticking around to say something to the contestant and their family or guests afterward. Normally, just a congratulations or some such. He also tends to not seem so disappointed to show the person they won 40,000 dollars. He didn't even say you've won 40,000 dollars. He just shoved the card in the guys face and then showed it to the audience without even a bit of a smile. The "I should leave" as soon as Chuck came to join the winner was what seemed odd to me, not the audiences' reaction.
72
How in love can the fiance really be with the winner when he let his other half appear on national tv wearing that 'thing'? I mean, I would not have allowed my worst enemy to wear 'it' on TV. Does he secretly hate his fiance so much that he would let him humuliate and embarass himself in front of thousands of TV viewers all across the US?
This is a classic example of just how incapable the gays are of 'true love' and how perverted they really are. I mean, really.....
This is a classic example of just how incapable the gays are of 'true love' and how perverted they really are. I mean, really.....
73
Wow, a lot of comments just asking you to be a happy-as-a-pig-in-shit-faggot-game-show-lover here, Dan. Why do you have to have a critical neuron in that noggin of yours is beyond me...
74
Nobody's asking him to love game shows, but it would be nice if he knew what he were talking about. The audience never makes noise for the "who do you have in the audience?" beat on this show, no matter who's standing there. Dan's reading social angst into a situation that is more easily (and accurately) explained as a quirk of TV production.
75
@ 69 (good number) - It looked like they wanted to kiss, but were awkward, like they were asked not to. I know I'd want to kiss my lover if he just won 40 grand.
77
Dan, I think your being a little too sensitive.
This was a lovely moment. The contestant and his fiance were treated just like any other game show contestants. Get over it! Wheel of Fortune could have edited the whole sequence out but choose not to. Give them credit for that.
Hopefully we will see more and more gay couples doing everyday mundane things like being contestants on game shows. The more the U.S. public see this, the more likely it is that they will not be threatened by a gay couple.
This was a lovely moment. The contestant and his fiance were treated just like any other game show contestants. Get over it! Wheel of Fortune could have edited the whole sequence out but choose not to. Give them credit for that.
Hopefully we will see more and more gay couples doing everyday mundane things like being contestants on game shows. The more the U.S. public see this, the more likely it is that they will not be threatened by a gay couple.
78
I don't watch WoF either, but it took me less than five minutes to pull up other clips from the exact same stage of the program in other episodes (Internet completists). The audience does not react to the introduction of the leading contestant's friend/family member/(usually) significant other, unless that person does something like crack a joke (which, in our relevant case, is something that Chuck probably second-guessed). Nor does Pat Sajak, at least at this stage of his career, crowd the winning contestand and friend/family member(s)/significant other after a winning guess, but discreetly steps out of camera range after announcing their winnings.
HOWEVER: Sajak usually unfolds the envelope with the winning amount with rather more enthusiasm; he also usually continues to yell enthusiasms from offscreen after the winners have embraced. He doesn't do so in this case. So is he personally uncomfortable? Yeah, it seems like it (once his behaviour has been minutely psychoanalysed). Does he actually let it interfere with his job? No. Can he do anything about it? Probably not. Is there any indication that anyone other than him is responding to the situation in an abnormal fashion? Frankly, no. The verdict, then, is business as usual; in other words, another little triumph. And if Pat Sajak has to hand off tropical vacations to another twenty gay couples before he retires, he, too, will be a winner for inevitably getting over it (enthusiasm IS infectious).
HOWEVER: Sajak usually unfolds the envelope with the winning amount with rather more enthusiasm; he also usually continues to yell enthusiasms from offscreen after the winners have embraced. He doesn't do so in this case. So is he personally uncomfortable? Yeah, it seems like it (once his behaviour has been minutely psychoanalysed). Does he actually let it interfere with his job? No. Can he do anything about it? Probably not. Is there any indication that anyone other than him is responding to the situation in an abnormal fashion? Frankly, no. The verdict, then, is business as usual; in other words, another little triumph. And if Pat Sajak has to hand off tropical vacations to another twenty gay couples before he retires, he, too, will be a winner for inevitably getting over it (enthusiasm IS infectious).
79
Eh, the audience was still clapping for them as they hugged. I don't see anything wrong with this. Hooray more visibility.
81
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?! Do you hear some of yourselves right now??
Completely bashing Pat like he should have rolled out a red carpet for these gays. I'm a gay male who was watching WOF that night and I felt more uncomfortable then I should have. Imagine how Pat felt, he did nothing wrong. I'm sure any other person put in the same situation would have not knowen what to follow that introduction up with.
I give the couple props for using the word "fiance", but if they are such groundbraking "gays" why did they act like they were brothers after he won the won, not touching, not kissing, looks like they met before the show started. If you're gonna be a roll model don't do it half ass.
Completely bashing Pat like he should have rolled out a red carpet for these gays. I'm a gay male who was watching WOF that night and I felt more uncomfortable then I should have. Imagine how Pat felt, he did nothing wrong. I'm sure any other person put in the same situation would have not knowen what to follow that introduction up with.
I give the couple props for using the word "fiance", but if they are such groundbraking "gays" why did they act like they were brothers after he won the won, not touching, not kissing, looks like they met before the show started. If you're gonna be a roll model don't do it half ass.
82
To Number #18, Mr. All caps. I am asssuming that this was a phony, tongue in cheeck post.....""MERV GRIFFIN WASN'T GAY HE NEVER SAID HE WAS GAY AND TV SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID HE WAS GAY EVEN IF HE HAD SEVERAL GAY LOVERS HE NEVER SAID HE WAS GAY SO HE WASN'T GAY SO STOP SAYING MERV GRIFFIN WAS GAY!""
______________________________________________________________________-
On the off chance that it wasn't, allow me to point out the exact reasons I think you are an idiot. Your argument is, that even if Merv Griffin was sleeping with men, he isn't gay unless he said so. So by your argument, Shaquile O'Neil is not tall unless he says so, your mother is not a woman unless she says so, Salma Hyack isn't Mexican unless she says so, etc...
So please, can you take a breath and try thinking before you type. Or better yet, why don't you think back in your mind to all the people of the same sex YOU"VE slept with...guess what, you're still gay even though you haven't admitted it....just like Merv. ;)
______________________________________________________________________-
On the off chance that it wasn't, allow me to point out the exact reasons I think you are an idiot. Your argument is, that even if Merv Griffin was sleeping with men, he isn't gay unless he said so. So by your argument, Shaquile O'Neil is not tall unless he says so, your mother is not a woman unless she says so, Salma Hyack isn't Mexican unless she says so, etc...
So please, can you take a breath and try thinking before you type. Or better yet, why don't you think back in your mind to all the people of the same sex YOU"VE slept with...guess what, you're still gay even though you haven't admitted it....just like Merv. ;)
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