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News & ArtsTuesday, January 27, 2009
Arts / Nightlife When Burlesque Meets Barf
Posted by David Schmader on Tue, Jan 27, 2009 at 9:40 AM
This just in from Last Days' Hot Tipper Rian:
So, my hot tip took place on Fri, Jan 23. A friend and I were at the [BURLESQUE-FRIENDLY SEATTLE NIGHTSPOT] enjoying a brilliant performance by the truly talented and beautiful crew of the [SEATTLE BURLESQUE CREW]. Before the show, we noticed a group of four women celebrating a 30th birthday in the VIP section at the table directly in front of us. They were POWER drinking everything and anything—fruity shots, cosmos, you name it, they drank it. Once the show started they weren’t even paying attention, just being loud and obnoxious and altogether insufferable.
One girl was especially inebriated and made three bathroom trips in about 20 minutes. I concluded that she must be getting sick, considering her size and what she had consumed in such a short time. This theory was brought to fruition when she and her friends came back from bathroom trip #3 and made the terrible mistake of making her sit wedged in the far corner of the table, without a direct escape route. Not even 10 minutes after I had told my friend, “I bet she's going to throw up at the table”, she began retching UNDER THE TABLE. This was no “casual puke," but more of a sustained 5 minute affair completed by her wiping her face off on one of the curtains and then casually THROWING HER DINNER NAPKIN OVER THE LAKE OF 80 PROOF VOMIT on the floor.
Neighboring patrons were not amused as they were forced to ride out the last third of the show next to the vomit table and the staff didn’t attend to the mess until after the act was over in order to, “keep from distracting the performance." I can understand this, given the space doesn’t easily facilitate a full-scale mop-and-shine clean-up procedure while scantily clad hotties are gyrating on the stage 6 feet away. What I don’t understand is how a group of 30-year-old professional ladies could be so disrespectful and alarmingly immature in the face of some of the best entertainment I’ve seen in Seattle in a long while. My sincerest apologies to the cast and crew and an even more sincere FUCK YOU to stupid, sloppy drunk girl. You might not remember your terrible behavior, but I’m happy to remind you that your actions lacked any sort of class and were flat-out cunty.
1
doesn't vomiting in public, in general, sort of lack class?
I mean, great story though. That is disgusting.
I mean, great story though. That is disgusting.
3
I've seen this happen more than once...dumbfuck thirty and fortysomething year olds who either aren't party animals or haven't been party animals for 10 or 20 years forget how to intelligently get wasted, (pace yourself, don't mix boozes, eat something, drink water in between booze, etc) then end up making a disgusting mess which bar staff have to attend to, and other patrons have to put up with...and the motherfuckers never apologize or bother to drop a big fat tip on staff who have to clean it up...
4
i was into the story until the last phrase. not that i have an issue with 'cunt' being used but it's just used so poorly in this case. writer should have made some revisions but overall, it's a good story.
6
Where can one find such a club? Minus the vomit, it sounds like fun. I don't see any reason to hide the name...
7
@3 and everybody else
Why doesn't the bar actually cut them off? I'm sure that an intelligent waiter could do a quick mental "This woman weighs 110 lbs, she should probably only have X number of drinks. And she is at X+3 already."
Now, I'm not blaming the bar. Most people should be able to cut themselves off, but really?
It reminds me of one of my first weekends here. I saw some dumb young girl stumbling around capitol hill, probably coming from the War Room on her way to Linda's. She was shouting things at gay guys who were just passing her by, and her friends were trying to get her to hush. She fell on her ass at least once. But, they still let her into Linda's, after the bartender made a half-hearted attempt to not let her in. "You sure you aren't drunk?" "No-sh. I's not drfunk." I was amused.
Why doesn't the bar actually cut them off? I'm sure that an intelligent waiter could do a quick mental "This woman weighs 110 lbs, she should probably only have X number of drinks. And she is at X+3 already."
Now, I'm not blaming the bar. Most people should be able to cut themselves off, but really?
It reminds me of one of my first weekends here. I saw some dumb young girl stumbling around capitol hill, probably coming from the War Room on her way to Linda's. She was shouting things at gay guys who were just passing her by, and her friends were trying to get her to hush. She fell on her ass at least once. But, they still let her into Linda's, after the bartender made a half-hearted attempt to not let her in. "You sure you aren't drunk?" "No-sh. I's not drfunk." I was amused.
10
@6, It's probably the Pink Door. It would be easy to get wedged into a table and almost impossible to make a graceful exit.
For the sake of their karma I really hope the drunk ladies left a really big tip.
For the sake of their karma I really hope the drunk ladies left a really big tip.
11
@1 - hurling two sips of coffee the morning after and hearing the two de-oranged ibuprofens paradiddle off the porcelain is also less-than-classy as far as an audience of one goes.
13
Most of the ladies I know wait until they get into the alley before they barf.
Why?
Because they're classy.
Why?
Because they're classy.
14
Is that a cell phone pic of the lady in question? Reminds me of that scene in Team America World Police.
16
6: The Can Can is fabulous. Under the Market in the old Patti Summers cabaret space. Great, sexy, edgy cabaret entertainment almost every night of the week. You owe yourself a night out there.
17
Not bad, but nothing will ever beat this one:
http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/06/this…
" It sounded like she was bailing out a sinking rowboat onto the concrete theater floor. "
http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/06/this…
" It sounded like she was bailing out a sinking rowboat onto the concrete theater floor. "
18
@11, THAT was a lovely bit of wordcraft!
Except that you would need to take 4 ibuprofen to paradiddle.
Except that you would need to take 4 ibuprofen to paradiddle.
20
Dave & @3 MS,
I couldn't agree with your comments more. As a fellow who enjoys good wine, beer and spirits it never ceases to amaze me how many Americans (I've lived & drank here most of my life) don't know HOW to drink alcoholic beverages. MS your instructions are spot on. I would include on your list dancing if one is at a club.
I would think someone 30 something or older would get the hang of it already. But, there is absolutely no excuse for an adult at a bar to upchuck and create Lake Emesis. None whatsoever. Get thee to a toilet post haste! I recently saw this at Linda's Tavern where the patrons had to endure a wretched odor as well.
I couldn't agree with your comments more. As a fellow who enjoys good wine, beer and spirits it never ceases to amaze me how many Americans (I've lived & drank here most of my life) don't know HOW to drink alcoholic beverages. MS your instructions are spot on. I would include on your list dancing if one is at a club.
I would think someone 30 something or older would get the hang of it already. But, there is absolutely no excuse for an adult at a bar to upchuck and create Lake Emesis. None whatsoever. Get thee to a toilet post haste! I recently saw this at Linda's Tavern where the patrons had to endure a wretched odor as well.
23
Full disclosure forces me to admit that it took me 43 years to figure this out...but, I'm proud to say I've never puked in public.
As long as they don't puke, it's actually very interesting to watch the inexperienced get trashed...though, it's annoying when they do it at an event like Dina Martina and think they're more entertaining than she is and won't shut the fuck up...but Dina manages to take care of their hash in a GLAAD award nomination worthy style.
As long as they don't puke, it's actually very interesting to watch the inexperienced get trashed...though, it's annoying when they do it at an event like Dina Martina and think they're more entertaining than she is and won't shut the fuck up...but Dina manages to take care of their hash in a GLAAD award nomination worthy style.
25
I wish I had a 1-800 Drunk of the Week hotline, so someone could call me up and I could take a pretty picture of moments like these...
26
kelly - about 5 bucks a month will get you an 800 number that protects your privacy and forwards to your cell phone...google is your friend :)
27
@16 - I actually went there once on a weeknight, the schedule on the website wasn't very clear and there was no dancing and the kitchen wasn't open. We needed dinner and went elsewhere, but I'd like to go back.
28
i blame the burlesque. it has a tendancey to attract boring people looking for something risqué to do. those people will end up horking.
31
I think you should bring the video camera and start a "Girls Gone Wild" sort of public humiliation campaign. They'll sign anything and you can blame it on the flu.
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