Slog
News & ArtsTuesday, January 27, 2009
Homo Please Make a Note of It
Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Jan 27, 2009 at 10:29 AM
Introduce your boyfriend to a reporter from the New York Times as your boyfriend and the fact that you have a boyfriend could wind up in the profile of you that the New York Times reporter was sent to write about you. Reporters these days operate under the assumption that men with boyfriends—particularly men in New York City, particularly male fashion designers—are out of the closet.
So the New York Times really shouldn't be faulted for "outing" designer Jason Wu to his extended family, Jezebel. Wu outed himself to and through the New York Times. The lesson here: If you're making a secret of your homosexuality it's your responsibility to keep it secret. It's not the New York Times' responsibility.
3
Oh please... What kind of relative couldn't tell this sweet young man was gay? Unless the relative was blind, deaf and retarded, I think just about anyone would KNOW that this twink was queer!
7
So they needed to see "your son is gay" written in black and white in the New York Times to figure out that their New York fashion designer son was gay? Those are some seriously obtuse parents.
8
In Wu's defense: He's a Taiwanese immigrant, and he may have been operating under different -- and faulty -- assumptions about how the NYT would treat this part of his life. But he was surrounded by people who should've known better -- including his boyfriend.
9
Dan, I'm sure you've learned this lesson the hard way (as have I), but there may be people here who haven't. Folks, anything you say or do in front of a reporter is fair game. Please take note for future reference.
10
The extended family always knows, even if the closet-case doesn't know that the extended-family knows. Even when the closet-mom doesn't know, the extended family always knows.
11
OUT did a profile on WU before the inauguration in which it talked about how his dress could be picked by Michelle O. While his family might not read OUT, if you are in OUT, you are pretty well out. I believe OUT said clearly that he was gay in the profile.
12
I suppose so, Dan @10. But the fact that here is what seems to be a very nice, hard-working, and successful young man who has made a name for himself by outfitting arguably the new-most-glamourous-woman (move over, Carla Bruni!) can only help show the world that gayz are very nice, hard-working, and successful. He sounds like a great ambassador, even to those in Taipei who don't "know" any gayz.
15
According to the NYT article, at age 9, he was playing with dolls and using them as mannequins. It's fair to say this guy was out at age 9.
16
Are they kidding? I saw him for all of 45 seconds during the inauguration coverage and he was radiating his gayness.
19
Though the majority of Taiwanese, probably counting some of Jason Wu's family, are either oblivious and/or outright hostile to gays, for Asia, Taiwan is pretty progressive when it comes to gay acceptance. Taipei hosts a huge gay pride festival, the President is pretty gay friendly, and I think groups are working on adding 'sexual orientation' to Taiwan's anti-discrimination clause. Not quite Scandinavia, but still, they're making progress. Jason Wu's success can't hurt.
20
I'm surprised that anyone didn't think Jason Wu wasn't gay.
I mean, isn't it obvious?
How clueless are his relatives?
I mean, isn't it obvious?
How clueless are his relatives?
22
Wasn't Dan just saying, in the post about Haggard, that the closet causes torment? Sure, coming out is tough; but in the long run being out will make Jason's life better. And showing the world that gays can be nice, happy, successful people helps all of us.
27
Dude should be far more ashamed of being outed as a Domino Pizza patron, especially in NYC. Seriously, that's just sick.
29
Aaaaaaaand elenchos nails a three pointer from almost mid-court! The crowd goes crazy!
I want to see Dan and Mr. Gaida debate bisexuality. Except, of course, that Mr. Gaida is a fictional character. And, apparently, a head case.
I want to see Dan and Mr. Gaida debate bisexuality. Except, of course, that Mr. Gaida is a fictional character. And, apparently, a head case.
30
I think it was already clear before the NYT article. http://perezhilton.com/2009-01-21-from-t…
@28, So THAT is why I got a free domino's gift card. They are trying more aggressively promote their brand to Californians due to politiks. Sigh
Interesting how sensationalism still dominates the news despite the more serious issues we are facing. Humanity is in trouble of all we are worried about is whether a fashion designer is gay. Jeez
@28, So THAT is why I got a free domino's gift card. They are trying more aggressively promote their brand to Californians due to politiks. Sigh
Interesting how sensationalism still dominates the news despite the more serious issues we are facing. Humanity is in trouble of all we are worried about is whether a fashion designer is gay. Jeez
31
The linked article at Jezebel says that his parents were disappointed their son couldn't be more discreet, not that they didn't know he was gay.
35
This nonsense about the New York Times is distracting us from the real issue: pillorying Michelle Obama for wearing a dress designed by a self-hating, anti-choice closet case!
It's clear she wrapped herself in that threadbare duvet deliberately, to support Internalized Homophobia. That's right, INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA! This is the Obama administration's insidious first move toward forcing the LGBT community back into the closet. Note also the cunning promo for notoriously anti-choice Domino's. Michelle Obama is not only threatened by openly gay people, but in supporting this self-hating Domino's gobbler, she's also undermining a woman's right to choose!
The good news is that since she already has the feathers, we'll only need to bring tar.
It's clear she wrapped herself in that threadbare duvet deliberately, to support Internalized Homophobia. That's right, INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA! This is the Obama administration's insidious first move toward forcing the LGBT community back into the closet. Note also the cunning promo for notoriously anti-choice Domino's. Michelle Obama is not only threatened by openly gay people, but in supporting this self-hating Domino's gobbler, she's also undermining a woman's right to choose!
The good news is that since she already has the feathers, we'll only need to bring tar.
36
Oh please. Jezebel wasn't accusing NYT of anything. They were just wondering, asking questions, trying to figure out what happened, and acknowledged that they didn't know the whole story.
And his bf was at the interview because the interview took place at Wyu's work, and the bf also works with him, so of course he was there. He just should've told the reporter not to call him "boyfriend" or whatever.
And his bf was at the interview because the interview took place at Wyu's work, and the bf also works with him, so of course he was there. He just should've told the reporter not to call him "boyfriend" or whatever.
38
He's gay? No way!
Actually, I feel for the kid. I got outed in a newspaper as a volunteer in a political campaign. Wasn't fun. Wasn't actually bad, forced me to do something I should have done years ago (call my some of my own extended family) and tell them things that, guess what, they suspected anyway. My case was a little different - because it was pure political vindictiveness that inspired the outing, not a simple phrase obviously showing the guy in a positive light, like in Wu's case - but I do know what it feels like. Not fun, but as Dan notes, *definitely* not NYT's fault.
And, really, the kid's 26. No excuses at that point. If you're over 20 and not completely out, don't be surprised when you inevitably get the door pushed open for you. Because, guess what? It's going to happen. These closets are usually glass, anyway. Moreover, it should happen. The only thing the Mr. Wu's of the world can do is be proactive and out themselves on their own accord, rather than worry about it being in the paper or told in some story or seen on some Facebook profile.
Actually, I feel for the kid. I got outed in a newspaper as a volunteer in a political campaign. Wasn't fun. Wasn't actually bad, forced me to do something I should have done years ago (call my some of my own extended family) and tell them things that, guess what, they suspected anyway. My case was a little different - because it was pure political vindictiveness that inspired the outing, not a simple phrase obviously showing the guy in a positive light, like in Wu's case - but I do know what it feels like. Not fun, but as Dan notes, *definitely* not NYT's fault.
And, really, the kid's 26. No excuses at that point. If you're over 20 and not completely out, don't be surprised when you inevitably get the door pushed open for you. Because, guess what? It's going to happen. These closets are usually glass, anyway. Moreover, it should happen. The only thing the Mr. Wu's of the world can do is be proactive and out themselves on their own accord, rather than worry about it being in the paper or told in some story or seen on some Facebook profile.
39
@ #21...that was an absolutely RACIST remark and uncalled for!
So, discrimination against homosexuals is bad, but racism against Asians is acceptable?? Yeah, what a "progressive" society we live in....
So, discrimination against homosexuals is bad, but racism against Asians is acceptable?? Yeah, what a "progressive" society we live in....
40
@ 28 - not anymore - they were sold to Pepsi by the anti-choice founder a long time ago (15 years?).
Mind you, still *plenty* of reasons not to order Domino's.
Mind you, still *plenty* of reasons not to order Domino's.
42
His family probably knew he was gay. As they "didn't want to know" he was gay and "didn't want confirmation" that he is gay, they all probably pretended he was straight. You know, give him the benefit of the doubt. Now that it has been confirmed, many may feel obligated to treat him like crap for so-called religious/moral/ethical reasons. At least, that's how it was for me. All was good when everyone was pretending. But alas, eventually the charade must end and you get a pummeling.
43
RIGHT ON, Dan. You are the WISEST.
If you co-founded a doll collection, partnered with Amanda Leopre and Rupaul on their doll collections, founded a dress line, slept with your Finance Guy Gustavo Rangel while he was as Saks so he could get your collection in the door...BE MAN ENOUGH to take it more the little dicky ur and let it slip ....there is NOTHING wrong that you are gay...you just need to distant yourself to those distant relatives....
If you co-founded a doll collection, partnered with Amanda Leopre and Rupaul on their doll collections, founded a dress line, slept with your Finance Guy Gustavo Rangel while he was as Saks so he could get your collection in the door...BE MAN ENOUGH to take it more the little dicky ur and let it slip ....there is NOTHING wrong that you are gay...you just need to distant yourself to those distant relatives....
44
Jason may be an immigrant, but he's been in North America since he was a kid. He and his family moved to Vancouver, BC when he was nine years old. Vancouver, FYI, ain't a conservative town.
45
I would be more upset about my parents wanting me to be discreet about my life because they don't want to deal with w/ my hateful extended family
46
Jason Wu should have referred to the other guy in the room as his BUSINESS MANAGER, rather than as his BOYFRIEND, if he did not want the New York Times to write about them in that manner.
Did it really not occur to him that the New York Times would refer to their relationship in the way that they described it to the reporter or that his family would be able to look up the story online?
Did it really not occur to him that the New York Times would refer to their relationship in the way that they described it to the reporter or that his family would be able to look up the story online?
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