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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

News from the Animal Kingdom

Posted by Charles Mudede on Tue, Jan 27, 2009 at 9:35 AM

On the road to nowhere...

480a/1233075936-_45415076_penguin2tv003494139.jpgEmperor penguins, whose long treks across Antarctic ice to mate have been immortalised by Hollywood, are heading towards extinction, scientists say.

Based on predictions of sea ice extent from climate change models, the penguins are likely to see their numbers plummet by 95% by 2100.

Yes, there is no love in me for penguins. The creatures have a life cycle that is utterly stupid and tedious. But, still, extinction is much worse than the horrible marches they make year after year. The dull and dumb march of the penguins. However, there is a speck of hope in another spectrum of animal life, the noble mountain gorilla.

3842/1233076082-_45416188_body1.jpgThe population of mountain gorillas in the Democratic Republic of Congo's Virunga National Park has risen by 12.5%, a census shows. It revealed that 81 gorillas were now living permanently inside the park.

In total, about 211 of the great apes were estimated to be currently residing in Africa's oldest national park.

Everything is fighting to live in a world dominated by humans. We are the ELE of the animal kingdom.

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Comments (24) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
BUT, penguins do have a place on this earth. I, for one, loathe fire ants. But they do have a purpose, and they exist, and I can do nothing about it. The penguins may make a tedious march every year, but the snow goose does the same over Kilamanjaro on its own migration. What one may call tedious, the other may call miraculous. On the subject of extinction of animals, I can say that I would be sad if either the emperor penguin or the lowland gorilla were to disappear within my lifetime, as has happened with the Yangtze dolphin. It is an unfortunate circumstance.
Posted by P to the J on January 27, 2009 at 9:43 AM
2
jeeesus christ. this is the stupidest movie review i have ever read. you have to read it to believe it.

March of the Penguins

84 min. | Dir. Luc Jacquet | Rated G

March of the Penguins

"I have never liked penguins, and now that I've watched this documentary I like them even less. March of the Penguins has one great moment: when it shows a group of female penguins going into the sea and swimming through the water in the way their featured relatives fly through the air. The water is clear blue, the surrounding ice forms a majestic architecture, and the penguins zip here and there, chasing fish and avoiding sea lions. But when they're back on the land, back on their ugly feet, all of the grace is gone and once again the penguin is a dull and clumsy creature. The only animal worth making a documentary about is the human. By Charles Mudede "
Posted by onion on January 27, 2009 at 10:06 AM
3
The Stranger's editorial staff is maybe the least animal-friendly group of writers on the planet. It's strange that so many otherwise sensible and decent people have gaping holes in their souls where a love and appreciation for animals should be, but what can you do?
Posted by eric on January 27, 2009 at 10:13 AM
4
Fuck you, Charles. Your life cycle is no less stupid and tedious. And to compare them to the "noble" mountain gorilla? Talk about stupid and tedious.

"Hm. I think I'll eat another leaf."

Philosophy informs nothing in biology, so don't push your opinions about it here.
Posted by STJA on January 27, 2009 at 10:14 AM
5
@3, ha ha ha ha "Stranger's editorial staff...sensible and decent people" ha ha ha ha oh man my stomach
Posted by lol on January 27, 2009 at 10:31 AM
6
"stupid and tedious"
"dull and dumb"

Good god Charles, you are all of that and more. Are you entirely unable to see the elegance and complexities of the interconnected natural world to which penguins and other non-domesticated species add to and rely upon? You, on the other hand, exist to rip that web apart, destroying what has taken evolution billions of years to piece together. It is you, with your human-centric interest in philosophy, architecture, and tits and contempt for all things not created by man, who is stupid and tedious.
Posted by cmaceachen on January 27, 2009 at 10:45 AM
7
If it's ok for Charles to hate animals then that means it is ok for me to hate blacks.
Posted by Racism is groovy on January 27, 2009 at 10:54 AM
8
A stupid, tedious, dull and dumb lifestyle is writing ad nauseam about Amanda Knox.
Posted by Mudede is fucking annoying on January 27, 2009 at 11:02 AM
9
"i hate your retarded penguins; gorillas are so noble."

race-baiting much, charles?
Posted by Savage Mudede? on January 27, 2009 at 11:10 AM
10
I really don't believe the life cycle of penguins is any more stupid and tedious than your Slog posts, or your life, for that matter.
Posted by Justy on January 27, 2009 at 11:26 AM
11
"The only animal worth making a documentary about is the human."
Mudede wrote that.

Oh my fucking god. I can't get over this. If you think that Mudede THEN STOP WRITING ABOUT ANIMALS. If that is your thinking, you are not the person we want to hear about animals from.

While frightening to us, the life cycle of emperor penguins is a testament to the power of evolution, and the power of life to fill just about every niche on this planet.
Posted by onion on January 27, 2009 at 11:46 AM
12
kill yourself mudede
Posted by Suicide is Painless on January 27, 2009 at 11:51 AM
13
Given that every organism that has ever existed has been subject to eons of natural selection, no life cycle can be described as *stupid*. What an ill-chosen word and badly thought-out post. I am surprised that a self-described philosopher is unable to appreciate the inherent elegance of nature. That the penguins will either have to adapt or die off in the future reiterates the adaptations which created their current life-cycle. They are facing the ultimate existential dilemma.
Posted by Inkweary on January 27, 2009 at 12:01 PM
14
fuck you Charles. you can't go extinct fast enough.
Posted by You're an idiot on January 27, 2009 at 12:38 PM
15
Dear Carl,

Charles Mudede annoys the beejeezus out of me. Maybe he's your friend and you want to keep him around, but can you enroll him in some kind of quality blogging academy?

Thanks,
Posted by anarchy burger on January 27, 2009 at 12:41 PM
16
Charles, you ignorant hack. Your life cycle is infinitely more tedious and boring than the parasite in my colon. You write about shit that accomplishes nothing, reveal nothing to anyone, and haven't ever made anyone's life better. At least the parasite in my colon has helped someone.
Posted by No more slavery here! No siree! on January 27, 2009 at 12:43 PM
17
Let's nuke all of sub-Saharan Africa, it is full of the stupidest, most violent retarded excuses for "humans" on the planet... "humans" who are so stupid that they think raping a baby will cure AIDS. Let's rid the world of these shitty pathetic parodies of humanity. Africans are an embarrassment to actual humans, and all the other races of the world want to see them gone. Let's nuke Zimbabwe first.
Posted by Africa is stupid, destroy Africa! on January 27, 2009 at 12:58 PM
18
If Europeans and Arabs had avoided Africa entirely, then most black Africans would be extinct by now from all their TNB. Imagine what the USA would be like without blacks, it would be almost like paradise. Curse the short-sighted slavers who brought the terrible affliction that is Africans to our country.
Posted by Africa would be extinct if we had left it alone on January 27, 2009 at 1:38 PM
19 Comment Pulled (OffTopic) Comment Policy
20
Muah Dick!
Posted by Charlie Muahdick on January 27, 2009 at 2:12 PM
21
If only we could find a way to make penguin a delicious entree. They would be raised by the millions in little cages where we didn't have to look at their ugly little feet. I know Gorillas are called "bush meat" and people love it. No doubt now that it's been revealed there are little gorillas around, their succulent meat will be on the menu. And their ugly little feet are the most delicious part! It's good to be the top predator, huh Charles?
Posted by Vince on January 27, 2009 at 3:18 PM
22
Eeeww. How is eating gorillas any different from cannibalism? A gorilla is only a slightly less intelligent human (and a significantly more intelligent Charles Mudede).
Posted by CM Truth: Slavery is abolished on January 27, 2009 at 4:01 PM
23
Wow. You guys either really love penguins or really hate Charles Mudede. (I found this post rather funny.)
Posted by Ng Yi-Sheng on January 30, 2009 at 4:59 AM
24
Wah. Chuck's opinions differ from mine. Wah. Boo-hoo. Wah.
Posted by Mudede forever, bitch. on January 30, 2009 at 7:49 AM

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