The Giant Stumbles: Microsoft to lay off 5000.

New President Yesterday: Jacket off, competency on.

New President Today: Foreign-affairs-apalooza, bans on black sites and torture.

7.1: P.I. helpfully explains: "Washington has almost caught up with the nation when it comes to unemployment — and that's not a good thing."

Antarctica: Warming.

China's Economy: Stumbling.

New American Home Construction Stats: Worst since 1959.

Thus Endeth The Legacy: Caroline Kennedy backs out of the Senate nomination race.

Way to Not be the Bad Guy, America: World celebrates the closing of Guantanamo.

But It Wasn't Really...Good Exactly: Benjamin Button leads Oscar nominations.

Contender For Headline of the Day: "Florida Man Confesses to Sending Mysterious Monkey Text Message"

And finally, a product you might want to buy for the laid-off Microsoftie in your life: