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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

News The Morning News

Posted by Paul Constant on Wed, Jan 21, 2009 at 8:16 AM

It's a New Day: That was some party, but let's go to work.
Obamagenda, Day 1: Ending the war in Iraq, naming a Middle East envoy, declaring a freeze on Gitmo trials.
Obamagenda, More on Day 1: Calling Palestine, urging peace, halting all pending Bush regulations.
(Ted Kennedy: Feeling better.)
Evacuation Day: Israel completes Gaza Withdrawal.
They Didn't Get the Memo: Wall Street still looks bleak.
We Don't Control the Vertical or the Horizontal: Digital TV switch is problematic.
A Slow Builder: Microsoft, other companies are pacing down their construction schedules.
Something Else Is Sick-Making: Besides the asphalt plant, what else is producing dioxins in South Park?
Sorry, Portland: Sam Adams says "I screwed up."
Somebody Stole the Report: Crime is up in Bellevue. Seattle didn't turn in its statistics to the FBI on time.
Seems a Little Sketchy: London newspaper bought by billionaire ex-KGB agent.
Hillary Clinton's Senate Replacement: Drama Queen Paterson hogs spotlight, insists he needs a couple more days to think about it.
'Cause It Worked So Well for Dan Quayle: Ann Coulter blames the sad state of our morals on single motherhood.

Because it's a big day, here's a bonus video of the respectful passing of the previous administration. But here's the real video, of our totally fucking gorgeous and sexy First Couple looking glamorous and incredible.

Comments (17) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment

Our "totally fucking gorgeous and sexy First Couple" ? They can't just be gorgeous -- they have to be fucking gorgeous?

For a writer, you sure have very few adjectives in your repetoire...

And why is anyone supposed to be wowed by their admitted good looks? Isn't he supposed to be judged on his statesmanship? Oh right--- not much to go there......

Shhessh Constant, I thought fags were the ones who were supposed to be superficial but really the celebrity cultural that emphasizes surface over depth is really prevelant.

Posted by hartiepie on January 21, 2009 at 8:27 AM

Our president is a very intelligent man with a patient and thoughtful temperament. His wife is probably smarter than he is. They are both very, very hot.

And also: Fucking! (Sometimes I use it as a verb, too.)

Posted by Paul Constant on January 21, 2009 at 8:40 AM

It's been a long time since we had a First Couple decent people fetishized sexually. And that clip tells me what a queen's imagination I have: I see Jack and Jackie being sung to by Marilyn.

Posted by tomasyalba on January 21, 2009 at 8:43 AM

And again, materialism rears its head.

Posted by i thought obama was like me on January 21, 2009 at 8:49 AM

Oh <3.

Posted by tabletop_joe on January 21, 2009 at 8:55 AM

It would have been better if it was Etta.

Posted by jewritto on January 21, 2009 at 9:01 AM

Hey, cut Paterson some slack. He really really wants to pick Cuomo, but he's wary of who will end up in the AG job if he does. So he's kinda stuck with Kennedy, who nobody really wants. Tough call.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on January 21, 2009 at 9:16 AM

Crap. I thought Paul was straight. And adorable. And also taken by some very lucky girl, which irritates and annoys me to no end.

Posted by lily on January 21, 2009 at 9:25 AM

I think this is newsworthy:

http://www.newsobserver.com/1565/story/1…

Posted by john cocktosin on January 21, 2009 at 9:53 AM

@8: I am straight. I just have a man-crush on the President and a lady-crush on the First Lady.

Posted by Paul Constant on January 21, 2009 at 9:56 AM

@10, Stop it! You're killing me here with your adorable literate adorable-ness.

Posted by lily on January 21, 2009 at 10:11 AM

I was wondering if the Stranger was going to mention the Portland mayor scandal, since his hiring of former Stranger writer Amy Ruiz has played a huge part in the shitstorm and has severely damaged the mayor's, the Mercury's, and Ruiz's credibility with the public.

Posted by Trevor on January 21, 2009 at 10:12 AM

@7, he's not stuck with anybody. He could name any state rep or senator, someone who's not getting talked about in the press. If he goes ahead and names Caroline Kennedy against his instincts, that's a pretty weak move.

Posted by spencer on January 21, 2009 at 10:19 AM

I am still so fucking happy! 8 years of shit has just been flushed back to texas. (& Cheney went back to hell or to his Dr. No island or ever) Their smell may linger for a short while but hell with time that too will pass.

Posted by happy Comment on January 21, 2009 at 10:51 AM

@14: "Emanuel, get in here! Where's that sulphur coming from?"

Posted by Read it in the Times on January 21, 2009 at 12:14 PM

That's one of the most romantic things I've ever seen--beautiful!

Posted by mark on January 21, 2009 at 12:43 PM

beyonce?! i can't figure out if that's great or ....not. and then she blows the president and first-lady a kiss! with both hands! crazy. is that crazy? or am i crazy for thinking it's awkward? i can't decide.

Posted by hhmmmm on January 22, 2009 at 2:53 AM