Barack Obama attends church regularly for more than 20 years (unlike that unchurched heathen Ronald Reagan), constantly talks up this Jesus person we've heard so little about for two thousands years now, leans heavily on the Christian bible during his inaugural address, and crawls into bed with your fat fucking bigoted preachers... and you still can't quite accept that he's actually a Christian. You can only bring yourself to say that Obama "professes to follow Christ."

But if after more than twenty years of regularly sucking cock, after more than twenty years of enjoying the hell out of anal sex (a practice recently adopted by your "virgin" daughters), after crawling into bed with the same man every night for nearly 15 years now... if I were to suddenly announce that I had accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior and "left the homosexual lifestyle" you people—the same people who refuse to believe that Barack Obama is actually a Christian—would not only accept that I was a fully functional heterosexual now, praise Jesus, but denounce anyone who questioned my heterosexuality for their "bigotry" and "intolerance."

Funny how that works.