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News & ArtsWednesday, January 21, 2009
News "I blew it."
Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Jan 21, 2009 at 8:33 AM
Perhaps not the best choice of words, Sam, under the circumstances.
3
Goddammit, why does anyone care whose dick goes where, as long as it's not kids?
What are you, a bunch of fucking republicans?
What are you, a bunch of fucking republicans?
4
Blah blah blah, the media is really running with this. Funny to see Dan "OMG, MARLEE GINTER IS NOT SEX POSITIVE" Savage helping lead the charge to force an ouster.
If he schtupped the guy before he turned 18, then let the law deal with him. If he schtupped him 30 seconds after he turned 18, then who gives a damn? This "tread lightly" crap has kept society's wheels stuck in the mud because it says that anything done to a minority group will be met with a yellow belly and cowing apologies.
He should have a press conference to simply say, "I screwed an 18 year old," high-fiving everyone in the audience.
If he schtupped the guy before he turned 18, then let the law deal with him. If he schtupped him 30 seconds after he turned 18, then who gives a damn? This "tread lightly" crap has kept society's wheels stuck in the mud because it says that anything done to a minority group will be met with a yellow belly and cowing apologies.
He should have a press conference to simply say, "I screwed an 18 year old," high-fiving everyone in the audience.
5
Wow, I totally must have missed the part of the post that called for Adams' ouster.
Oh, wait. No I didn't.
It's a link to an article, it's only one sentence long. Dan's only opinion is that it's a poor choice of words, which is fair enough.
I think the guy is handling it quite well - he seems to be striking the right tone. Too bad he didn't come clear at the time, but I can certainly see why he wouldn't. I just hope the whole thing didn't mess the kid up too badly.
Oh, wait. No I didn't.
It's a link to an article, it's only one sentence long. Dan's only opinion is that it's a poor choice of words, which is fair enough.
I think the guy is handling it quite well - he seems to be striking the right tone. Too bad he didn't come clear at the time, but I can certainly see why he wouldn't. I just hope the whole thing didn't mess the kid up too badly.
8
He absolutely should resign. It has nothing to do with age -- it's the typical case of a person in a position of authority using that authority to gain sex. What about the other workers who weren't having sex with him, were they discriminated against.
I don't expect you to comprehend these points, SLOG, because we are not in the Age of Hypocrisy. Any crime committed by a Democrat is soft soaped (in the men's shower, in this instance).
I don't expect you to comprehend these points, SLOG, because we are not in the Age of Hypocrisy. Any crime committed by a Democrat is soft soaped (in the men's shower, in this instance).
9
When Adams Lied, No One Died
When Adams Lied, He'd Had Just the Tip Inside
When Adams Lied, Wm.&trade Stephen Humphrey Sighed
When Adams Lied, He'd Had Just the Tip Inside
When Adams Lied, Wm.&trade Stephen Humphrey Sighed
11
It's not necessarily wrong, but it is creepy. Can you imaging if Mayor Fatfuck Nickels came out today and told everyone that he banged and 18 year-old? Ewwww.
Not to mention that it adds fuel to the fire of the "all gay people are depraved sex perverts" crowd.
Not to mention that it adds fuel to the fire of the "all gay people are depraved sex perverts" crowd.
12
8, Apparently you don't know the story. Breedlove, the 18 year old was not working for, or an intern to Adams.
14
@8
Do we know, really know without a shadow of doubt, that he used his position of authority to gain sex? Is there a chance, even a small one, that it was mutual and consensual? Did he leave the "camp site" in worse condition?
Do we know, really know without a shadow of doubt, that he used his position of authority to gain sex? Is there a chance, even a small one, that it was mutual and consensual? Did he leave the "camp site" in worse condition?
16
Anyone know what Adams's job was in 2005 when this relationship happened? I thought he only started being mayor a few weeks ago.
18
@14, I'm guessing it was mutual, and that Breedlove went after Adams, Adams assented, both on a lark. The problem was the lying about it.
Disclaimer: when I was a young outie ages ago, I sometimes went after older outies in positions of power in order to play with all sorts of notions around safety and strength, to test youth's sway over the aging homosexual in a context where blackmail wasn't a factor, and to see if I'd develop true affection for someone I was mostly just toying with.
Lots of older out guys get this from curious and self-absorbed younger out guys, it's become pretty routine. And putting myself in Adams' shoes (easy now I'm old like him), when he decided to lie about fucking Breedlove, and urge Breedlove to do the same, he was being hounded at the time by a very sharp-toothed gay developer who wanted the mayor's office too; it's easy to imagine Adams scared enough to stonewall at least until he was in office and had some elected power to dull the knives.
He is smart and could do great things for Portland. But voters need to decide if his calculations around honesty and power make for an effective enough leader in tough times.
My hunch is that, as with eight years of Bush, the voters won't stir themselves enough to make Adams worry they might toss him out. And Adams knows if he doesn't quit he can take some stirring, voter-friendly mayoral actions and know it will play as redemption. Voters like not having to act, and never say no to a more melodramatic storyline to frame view of their electeds.
Just my guessing here, based on lots of coffee.
Disclaimer: when I was a young outie ages ago, I sometimes went after older outies in positions of power in order to play with all sorts of notions around safety and strength, to test youth's sway over the aging homosexual in a context where blackmail wasn't a factor, and to see if I'd develop true affection for someone I was mostly just toying with.
Lots of older out guys get this from curious and self-absorbed younger out guys, it's become pretty routine. And putting myself in Adams' shoes (easy now I'm old like him), when he decided to lie about fucking Breedlove, and urge Breedlove to do the same, he was being hounded at the time by a very sharp-toothed gay developer who wanted the mayor's office too; it's easy to imagine Adams scared enough to stonewall at least until he was in office and had some elected power to dull the knives.
He is smart and could do great things for Portland. But voters need to decide if his calculations around honesty and power make for an effective enough leader in tough times.
My hunch is that, as with eight years of Bush, the voters won't stir themselves enough to make Adams worry they might toss him out. And Adams knows if he doesn't quit he can take some stirring, voter-friendly mayoral actions and know it will play as redemption. Voters like not having to act, and never say no to a more melodramatic storyline to frame view of their electeds.
Just my guessing here, based on lots of coffee.
19
He's acknowledged it. Now he should STFU about it. Too many times we'e our own worst enemy by trying to explain everything.
20
Dan-
I hope you'll comment on the Amy Ruiz aspect of this story as well. I don't think the guy deserves to get drummed out of office for lying about getting some ass.
That said, hiring a reporter for a job she's demonstrably unqualified for in an effort to keep her from reporting a scandalous story is pretty shitty.
I hope you'll comment on the Amy Ruiz aspect of this story as well. I don't think the guy deserves to get drummed out of office for lying about getting some ass.
That said, hiring a reporter for a job she's demonstrably unqualified for in an effort to keep her from reporting a scandalous story is pretty shitty.
21
#11: Well said.
Yes, of course there's nothing technically illegal about a 40something meeting a 17yr old via an internship and fucking him once he turns 18, but its not exactly helpful to gay PR either.
Gay americans are still teetering on that tipping point among mainstream America. It will only take one really disgusting sex abuse story that can be interrpreted as
"gay" or one new, deadly disease ravaging the community for mainstream America to recoil.
Fortunately, I think this will be a Monica-like scandal. But no matter how you dice it, its not good PR.
Yes, of course there's nothing technically illegal about a 40something meeting a 17yr old via an internship and fucking him once he turns 18, but its not exactly helpful to gay PR either.
Gay americans are still teetering on that tipping point among mainstream America. It will only take one really disgusting sex abuse story that can be interrpreted as
"gay" or one new, deadly disease ravaging the community for mainstream America to recoil.
Fortunately, I think this will be a Monica-like scandal. But no matter how you dice it, its not good PR.
22
Yes the big issue is he lied about it, and that it was just dumb to have done it in rhe first place, given that he was in public office as a city councilmember at the time (imagine if Licata had a tryst with a barely 18 year old gal). Having followed this story in the PDX papers and blogs it seems that Beau is not complaining, was an intern for the state and not Adams, and may have been as interested in a sexual relationship as Adams, and may have a thing for older men since his boyfriend of 2 years (after Adams) was also in his 40's. Adams had just had his relationship (of 11 years Ithink) end and was single at the time. I imagine few newly single 42 year old gay men would not be kind of vulnerable to the attentions of a very good looking 18 year old who was struggling to come out. Again I think the sexual interest was most likely mutual, though still a poor choice on Adams part. I also keep in mind that quite a lot of the time sex is 'the gay handshake', meaning that many gay men may have a sexual connection with someone they meet who then they develop a friendship with that may not be sexual. I also think Adams could benefit from emotionally connecting more in his apology process and that - even though he,s been out - there are layers to being in the closet that may make him tend towards hiding and denying rather than just baring his soul emotionally to the people he serves. A very sad and unfortunately all too human situation he's in. Yes on the one hand he did bring it on himself and did lie to the voters but - assuming there are no more significant revelations - I don't think he's a pedophile or that he he shouldn't be allowed to continue being mayor.
23
Us gays have to learn that to earn and fight for equality we have to be better, that's right, better than those who oppress us. Our morals have to be spotless and beyond reproach unlike those who perpetrate the discrimination. No it isn't fair but that is the way it is here in America.
If you give the hate mongers even the slightest bit of moral impropriety they will ride it all the way into town. And we all know it to be true.
If you give the hate mongers even the slightest bit of moral impropriety they will ride it all the way into town. And we all know it to be true.
25
As for the Amy Ruiz aka Amy Jenniges angle (aka Dan Savage's one-time lesbian bride), her being hired by Adams administration in December after being a reporter for the Mercury who was working on this Adams-Breedlove story looks suspicious. The job description is posted on either the Mercury's or Willamette Weekly's website and it does appear that she would be qualified. But the problem for me is that the job description is pretty weak and vague for $55,000 a year job, which in Portland's economy is more like a $70,000 a year job here in Seattle. Basically anyone with a least a bachelors degree and some kind of previous experience in politics (which a reporter for a weekly paper could conceivably have) or urban planning or 'sustainability' could meet the minimal required qualifications,so its not that amy is not qualified but its hard to imagine she was the best qualified applicant for this position. Again - like Adams involvement with Breedlove - not illegal but certainly a questionable choice. And not a situation to win her any friends among Portland city employees, if they think she was hired for political reasons and not her ability to do the work of the position.
26
I love it. You guys are bending over backwards to absolve this guy of a crime which is ten times worse than what you regularly pillory people for in the posts of SLOG!
28
So the guy who Adams was afraid would use this against him in the mayor's race is gay too. Hmmm.
And now Beau Breedlove works as a leasing agent for a building that Adams' gay antagonist / political opponent built.
I wonder if Beau found a new sugar daddy with money and power to give him that job?
Whatever..it sure is a tangled mess of lies and deceit that Adams could have prevented by being honest in the first place (or by keeping his dick in his pants... I mean really...what 42 year old drives to Salem for an 18 year old's birthday party unless you planned to fuck the now-legal boy?)
And now Beau Breedlove works as a leasing agent for a building that Adams' gay antagonist / political opponent built.
I wonder if Beau found a new sugar daddy with money and power to give him that job?
Whatever..it sure is a tangled mess of lies and deceit that Adams could have prevented by being honest in the first place (or by keeping his dick in his pants... I mean really...what 42 year old drives to Salem for an 18 year old's birthday party unless you planned to fuck the now-legal boy?)
29
I cannot believe anyone is defending this scumbag!
Yes, he should be fired.
Not because of gay lovin, seriously, who cares about that?
The fact is, he was in a position of power, was mentoring a 17 year old and he took advantage of that kids insecurities.
Seriously, WTF is so hard to figure out?
Any position of power has an implied level of respect, and dare I say, ACCOUNTABILITY.
Yes, he should be fired.
Not because of gay lovin, seriously, who cares about that?
The fact is, he was in a position of power, was mentoring a 17 year old and he took advantage of that kids insecurities.
Seriously, WTF is so hard to figure out?
Any position of power has an implied level of respect, and dare I say, ACCOUNTABILITY.
30
29, You are quite off the mark with your comments. Is it too much to ask that you get the facts straight before you condemn?
The only thing Adams did wrong was lie about a consensual affair between two adults.
The only thing Adams did wrong was lie about a consensual affair between two adults.
31
So why did Sam lie about about sex with an 18 year old? Because he thought it would hurt his political career. Guess what, it did.
32
Rob,
"Though Adams says the relationship with Breedlove was legal, he added that it was inappropriate because of the age gap. He said Breedlove, a legislative intern, wanted to meet with him to get advice about public service."
Oh and to the, between two adults? Give me a friggin break, an 18 year old (btw, the line about them waiting till he was 18, yeah right) and an established 42 year old Public employee.
This was about power and validation to some insecure kid and a middle aged guy taking out a mid-life crisis on a kid.
"Though Adams says the relationship with Breedlove was legal, he added that it was inappropriate because of the age gap. He said Breedlove, a legislative intern, wanted to meet with him to get advice about public service."
Oh and to the, between two adults? Give me a friggin break, an 18 year old (btw, the line about them waiting till he was 18, yeah right) and an established 42 year old Public employee.
This was about power and validation to some insecure kid and a middle aged guy taking out a mid-life crisis on a kid.
34
Paul, you're an ass-aching puritan. The kid was legal, no one forced anything on him. In fact, if he wanted, he could have blown a great big whistle right then, if he thought it was wrong. But he didn't. That says consensual to me.
Save your "power and validation" bullshit for your group therapy session. Normal people know how to deal with sex. Maybe someday you'll learn.
Save your "power and validation" bullshit for your group therapy session. Normal people know how to deal with sex. Maybe someday you'll learn.
35
Paul in Ballard, 18 year olds are adults. If you don't like that, then maybe you should work to change the law. What age should people be before you will allow them to choose to have sex?
Also, if you have any proof, anything at all, that this relationship started before the young man was 18, please present it, or are you just throwing unfounded accusations around? Would it be fair if I said you had sex with 3 year olds with nothing to back it up? Is it only okay when you do such things?
Adams had absolutely no power over Breedlove. Breedlove was neither an employee or intern. They met, they felt a mutual attraction, they had sex. Except you seem to think that 18 year olds are incompetent somehow. Perhaps you can explain?
Also, if you have any proof, anything at all, that this relationship started before the young man was 18, please present it, or are you just throwing unfounded accusations around? Would it be fair if I said you had sex with 3 year olds with nothing to back it up? Is it only okay when you do such things?
Adams had absolutely no power over Breedlove. Breedlove was neither an employee or intern. They met, they felt a mutual attraction, they had sex. Except you seem to think that 18 year olds are incompetent somehow. Perhaps you can explain?
36
For those of you concerned about the psychosexual wellbeing of poor little Beau Breedlove, I say, save your concern for 12 year olds who are kidnapped and forced to suck dick at knifepoint.
While I'm sure there's TONS of stuff we don't know about Sam & Beau's relationship, I think it's pretty safe to say that Beau wasn't an innocent waif being taken advantage of by a creepy ol' chickenhawk (well, maybe the chickenhawk part is true, but so what?). Beau (who is probably a decent enough kid: he agreed to lie about the relationship to protect Sam AFTER the relationship was over) might very well have wanted to get into politics himself (sorry, guess that one's by the boards, kid), and thought that if he attached himself to this prominent openly gay Portland politico, it would improve his chances. There was clearly an element of Sam & Beau using EACH OTHER here. As much as we want to believe what the stupid songs are saying to us about "TRUUUUE LOOOOVE", I think there's an element of utilitarianism in virtually every intimate relationship on the planet. Realizing and accepting this is vital in creating a healthier approach to relationships, gay & straight.
While I'm sure there's TONS of stuff we don't know about Sam & Beau's relationship, I think it's pretty safe to say that Beau wasn't an innocent waif being taken advantage of by a creepy ol' chickenhawk (well, maybe the chickenhawk part is true, but so what?). Beau (who is probably a decent enough kid: he agreed to lie about the relationship to protect Sam AFTER the relationship was over) might very well have wanted to get into politics himself (sorry, guess that one's by the boards, kid), and thought that if he attached himself to this prominent openly gay Portland politico, it would improve his chances. There was clearly an element of Sam & Beau using EACH OTHER here. As much as we want to believe what the stupid songs are saying to us about "TRUUUUE LOOOOVE", I think there's an element of utilitarianism in virtually every intimate relationship on the planet. Realizing and accepting this is vital in creating a healthier approach to relationships, gay & straight.
37
Another thing: everybody is talking about Beau being "confused" about his sexuality. Uh, I don't think ANY of the competing newspaper stories suggest this. Beau wanted to know how to handle being out and being in politics. So wqhat did he do? He sought out an out politician. Is that too hard to understand?
More and more these days, GLBT 18 year olds aren't in the least bit "confused" about their sexuality. They're gay and already startin' to love the hell out of it! And this is a good thing.
More and more these days, GLBT 18 year olds aren't in the least bit "confused" about their sexuality. They're gay and already startin' to love the hell out of it! And this is a good thing.
38
@ 32
Oh big deal. I fucked a 24 year-old when I was 16, and I (ahem) handled it just fine. An 18 year fucked a 42 year old? So what...
The lying is a prob, but please spare us the Puritanical hysteria.
Oh big deal. I fucked a 24 year-old when I was 16, and I (ahem) handled it just fine. An 18 year fucked a 42 year old? So what...
The lying is a prob, but please spare us the Puritanical hysteria.
39
@ 25,
Yeah sure, Amy Ruiz-Jenniges, Criminal Mastermind.
She's worse than Hitler and Stalin and Eva Peron combined.
You've got'er on the ropes now!
Yeah sure, Amy Ruiz-Jenniges, Criminal Mastermind.
She's worse than Hitler and Stalin and Eva Peron combined.
You've got'er on the ropes now!
40
@38...
Original Andrew, So these days, do you go to bars to find dates or high school sporting events?
Original Andrew, So these days, do you go to bars to find dates or high school sporting events?
43
@ 42,
Depends on if they're over 18 and look like Beau Breedlove.
I'd hit that so hard his ass would be sending text messages from next Tuesday.
@ 42,
Depends on if they're over 18 and look like Beau Breedlove.
I'd hit that so hard his ass would be sending text messages from next Tuesday.
46
@45 - Of course he's on Manhunt. Everyone's on Manhunt these days. My dog is on Manhunt, and she's not even gay.
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