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Sunday, January 18, 2009

Not Good Enough

Posted by on Sun, Jan 18, 2009 at 9:51 AM

I just read that the glass enclosure built around the seats where Barack Obama and his family will sit to watch the inaugural parade—his inaugural parade—are "bullet resistant." What happened to bullet proof? And what's with hanging off the back of that train and waving to large crowds on your way to DC, Mr. President Elect? Are you trying to give me a fucking heart attack or what?

 

Comments (33) RSS

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1
In this day and age, getting military-grade bullets is not an impossible feat. Bullet proof would be several inches of metal or concrete with a little slot for him to talk out of.
Posted by The CHZA on January 18, 2009 at 10:23 AM
2
Why don't they make it out of that glass that reflects bullets at the exact angle they come in at, thereby killing the would-be assassins in their tracks?
Posted by Chris in Tampa on January 18, 2009 at 10:32 AM
3
no such thing as bullet proof....
Posted by noone on January 18, 2009 at 10:34 AM
4
Relax, boys- Biden's up to the job!
Posted by what! me worry? on January 18, 2009 at 10:37 AM
5
Bulletproof is me after four double margaritas.

He'll be fine. There are more cops in DC than grains of sand on the beach.
Posted by Fnarf on January 18, 2009 at 10:38 AM
6
CNN was reporting that there were bullet proof (or resistent) barriers on the train. I couldn't see them but if Wolf says they were there who are we to dispute?
Posted by jamesb on January 18, 2009 at 10:39 AM
7
Chris in Tampa,
Excellent idea. Then our guy could chant "I am rubber; you are through! What you shot bounced back and killed you."
Posted by Eric from Boulder on January 18, 2009 at 10:39 AM
8
Fnarf! If we stop stressing out about it for even ONE SECOND, it'll happen. So please: he'll probably be fine. Because, yeah, there are lots of cops in DC with guns... basically lots of (mostly) white guys with guns... trying to make sure that no, um, white guys with guns get anywhere near Barack Obama.

Thank goodness cops are never racist haters or anything.
Posted by Dan Savage on January 18, 2009 at 10:41 AM
9
Oh, Dan. He was traveling through bucolic Maryland. This isn't TX. We don't shoot presidents here. Plus the security around that slow-down spot and downtown Baltimore was crazy. Yet he and Michelle left the stage and greeted the people in the crowd. This totally surprised the local news people who were covering the event, and the person-on-the-street interviews they did afterwards with people exclaiming "I touched Obama!" were priceless. Baltimore ate this visit up.

I have to say, though, that I'm relieved he speaks on stages with bullet resistant glass barriers. This makes me feel better. But I still get queasy.
Posted by Balt-O-Matt on January 18, 2009 at 10:49 AM
10
@9

actually most DC cops are black.
Posted by DC native on January 18, 2009 at 10:56 AM
11
Don't worry. It is part of my job to escort Mr. Obama from the Capitol to the White House. I have prepared an undisclosed location to take him to, if there's any trouble. I'm also bringing my shotgun along. So, don't worry about random threats, from the crowd, OK? The situation is fully under control.
Posted by Dick Cheney on January 18, 2009 at 10:58 AM
12
Seriously, you're stressing me out now, Dan. I hadn't thought about it until just now and now I'm wondering. Quit fucking with my mind, it's early.


And for the record, I was just commenting to someone that I liked the train approach. It sends a signal: "A real president has arrived". He didn't need to do that, but he understood what the sub-conscious effect would be. I think it worked.

Posted by Matt Fuckin' Hickey on January 18, 2009 at 11:00 AM
13
HAHA@11

That's so funny! Comments here are as good as SNL skits
Posted by unreality tv on January 18, 2009 at 11:01 AM
14
Dan, I know that being a Pomeranian is something in your psyche. One of the things that makes you tick, and one of the things I (usually) like about you, but I do wish you'd stop obsessing publicly about your fears regarding Obama's safety. If you don't find a way to deal with it, you are hopefully in for a long eight years.

My hope and prayer is that the inauguration will happen, Obama will be a great president, and that people in this country will figure out that it was no big deal to elect a black guy, and will maybe even rethink some of their more boneheaded assumptions about race. How about obsessing over something like that?
Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay on January 18, 2009 at 11:04 AM
15
What number three said. I don't remember what show it was on, NCIS maybe, but they talked about how the nomenclature had to be changed because the makers could prove that the material was likely to resist bullets but there was no guarantee that someone will come out with bullets that can penetratrate.
Posted by elswinger on January 18, 2009 at 11:05 AM
16
Yes, Dan, they are trying to give you a heart attack. You and only you.
Posted by Andy Niable on January 18, 2009 at 11:09 AM
17
I also felt very nervous as I watched his train trip. I was imagining a terrible tragedy. very scary. When will my fear for his safety subside?
Posted by JJ on January 18, 2009 at 11:20 AM
18
What if he turns out to be a lousy president? Then it's all a moot point.
Posted by Jason Josephes on January 18, 2009 at 11:33 AM
19
Plus, the used a decoy train.

Apparently, neither train ran over any of the fools who jumped out on the tracks.
Posted by RonK, Seattle on January 18, 2009 at 11:34 AM
20
@16: I knew it. First Warren, now this.
Posted by Dan Savage on January 18, 2009 at 11:46 AM
21
I am not sure whether it was government regulations or a shift in phrasing within the industry, however as @3 there has never been such a thing as 'bullet proof'. Kevlar, glass, metal, whatever. There will always be some bullet that can penetrate some armor. A bible can stop up .38 special but not a .45, kevlar can stop a .45 but not and M16 and so on. Armor is rated by it's 'resistance' to firearms.

Security has much less to do with armor and bullet resistant glass and more to do with securing the area from legitimate threats. Or in other words, the glass he is protected by will more than protect him from any weapon that can get close enough to be fired.

There are better things to freak out about.
Posted by GDC on January 18, 2009 at 12:01 PM
22
speaking of freaking out, what about the ricin scare last week? did you faggots already forget about it?
Posted by stay local on January 18, 2009 at 12:14 PM
23
They call it bullet resistant because there's no guarantee some idiot with a really big gun won't find a way to stop it. If it doesn't, and they called it bullet proof, they can be sued. Bullet resistant is just what they call it now so they don't get sued if it fails.
Posted by Ferin on January 18, 2009 at 12:54 PM
24
Jesus, Dan, you really are being a nervous Nellie. Quit being such a Pomeranian (or is it a one-eyed miniature poodle?). There's no way anyone could ever prepare for every possible scenario. Even #1's bunker wouldn't help much if some raghead decides to drop a plane on him or light up a nuke. So you might as well sit back, have a drink or two, and stop worrying about this stuff.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on January 18, 2009 at 12:54 PM
25
@21: Interesting. My dad has a kevlar canoe. I don't know how bullet-resistant it is because he hasn't shot it yet.

I can pretty much guarantee that some day he will shoot it. Then try to set it on fire. Glad Obama's not in PA.
Posted by Amelia on January 18, 2009 at 12:58 PM
26
Maybe I've imagined this because I'm just as nervous, but I always think to myself that he's wearing a bullet proof vest under his suit. If not, then I hope his confidence in himself and his trust in the American people don't become his downfall.
Posted by jens on January 18, 2009 at 1:35 PM
27
If an assasin can get at Obama, we might as well close down the Pentagon and go home. I mean really, they know only too well all the racist morons with guns this country has. That is unless it's an inside job.
Posted by Vince on January 18, 2009 at 2:08 PM
28
"Bulletproof" is hubristic, and invites challenge. (e.g. "unsinkable")

"Bullet-resistant" is bluntly descriptive and discourages testing. (e.g. "civilian suppression")
Posted by E. Blair on January 18, 2009 at 2:33 PM
29
@24's "raghead"

(cough)

Really?
Posted by Andy Niable on January 18, 2009 at 2:34 PM
30
Give that man a Popemobile.
Posted by Gern Blanston on January 18, 2009 at 3:32 PM
31
@9 Yes in Maryland we only shoot politicians when they are in Landover. Or exiting a Nightclub.
Posted by Baltimoron on January 18, 2009 at 3:55 PM
32
30 or at least a poopmobile.
Posted by #2 on January 18, 2009 at 7:52 PM
33
It's still better than an Army Hummer.
Posted by kuribo on January 18, 2009 at 8:55 PM

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