As you probably noticed, ballots arrived in mailboxes this week—in January—for what King County is vaunting as its first all-mail election. The entire special election is devoted to choosing the elections director, who’s tasked with, among other things, making sure we don’t waste money on superfluous bullshit. But voters passed a measure in November to make the elections director an elected position so now here we are.

You are, no doubt, waiting with bated breath to learn who the Stranger Election Control Board will endorse. So if you're vacillating among candidates—Pam “Someone moved the flowers on my desk so maybe I should shoot them” Roach, Julie Anne “I lied about the election when I was the elections superintendent” Kempf, David “I lost against Sims so I’m bringing it down a notch” Irons, or Sherril “I mailed out these damn ballots this time so elect me already” Huff, or one of the other guys—you’ll have to check out next week’s issue of the Stranger.

In the meantime, consider the grave injustice of all-mail elections. The stamp is a deterrent to voting. I mean, not only is it a pay-to-play game, but who has a fucking stamp anymore? Look at this picture taken last year on election day at the post office:

What do these people in the picture have in common? Like me, they're waiting in a 10-minute line to buy an individual stamp (rather than an entire book, which is all the vending machines sold) so they can mail their ballot. This is more annoying that voting in a poll booth. Clearly the solution is to run a county-wide initiative to requiring no-postage-required ballots, which we could all vote on next year—through another all-mail, stamp-required election.