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Thursday, January 15, 2009

Tech Dig Dug For Beginners

Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Jan 15, 2009 at 8:59 AM

Eli Sanders! Dig Dug is only the greatest video game of the 1980s! Forget Ms. Pacman, Space Invaders, Centipede, and that WTF game with men in spacesuits riding on ostriches. "Dig Dug? I can't even figure out what I'm supposed to do in this game," you asked in this post. "There are people trapped underground. Do I rescue them? When I rescue them, they kill me. Do I dig myself out from underground?"

It's really quite simple, Eli: You dig down into the holes where various monsters are trapped, shove your long hose in 'em, and pump 'em until they freakin' EXPLODE.
I credit the thousands of hours I spent playing that game at the video arcade on Rush Street in Chicago—in the heart of the city's famed "Viagra Triangle"—with my success as an advice columnist. A Dig Dug lab should be a requirement for all budding sex researchers, therapists, and columnists.

Comments (27) RSS

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Hell, I can still hum the theme music!

Posted by Chris B on January 15, 2009 at 9:12 AM

Pooka in the house!

Posted by kid icarus on January 15, 2009 at 9:19 AM

Don't dis' on Joust. It was, and remains, a fine game.

Posted by heywhatsit on January 15, 2009 at 9:22 AM

Sounds like a subliminal training for the oil companies, The Last Starfighter style! I'm surprised after playing that game so long and getting good at it you weren't rewarded by a knock on your door from Big Oil telling you you're perfect for finding and drilling, offering you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity with a seven figure a year job.

...Man, I'm fasting today and it's messing with my imagination. >.>

Posted by stealingzen on January 15, 2009 at 9:22 AM

Any dig dug player worth their chops killed the enemies by dropping rocks on them.

Allegory to shit play?

Posted by Your Name Here on January 15, 2009 at 9:25 AM

Ditto 5... it's all about crushing them with rocks. Probably more of a getting your rocks off allegory.

Posted by robo on January 15, 2009 at 9:27 AM

Dan, I didn't think it was possible to love you any more strongly than I already did, but you have proved me wrong.

Posted by BGJ in PDX on January 15, 2009 at 9:29 AM

did you ever play at Rubus Game Room on State?

Posted by b on January 15, 2009 at 9:37 AM

Re-live the magic.

http://www.spelletjes.breumelhof.nl/comp…

Posted by Dig Faster on January 15, 2009 at 9:43 AM

What does it mean if I preferred Mr Do! over Dig-Dug?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Do!

Posted by stinkbug on January 15, 2009 at 10:00 AM

"shove your long hose in 'em, and pump 'em until they freakin' EXPLODE." I think I'm going to have to revisit Dig Dug with a new perspective.

Posted by mdurango on January 15, 2009 at 10:00 AM

Robotron 2084. End of discussion.

Posted by paulus on January 15, 2009 at 10:09 AM

Now someone is going to have to start the Dig Dug Sex Club.

Posted by Rob on January 15, 2009 at 10:20 AM

Dig Dug:Eli Sanders::the Taco Bravo truck:Jonah Spangenthal-Lee.

Thanks for the response, Dan!--although I'm with #3: Joust is fairly near to Dig Dug in 80s arcade goodness.

Posted by lusk on January 15, 2009 at 10:27 AM

Dig Dug best?!
Great yes! Best? No.
Elevator Action, Spy Hunter, Joust, Galaga
Any of those could potentially be best

Posted by K X One on January 15, 2009 at 10:53 AM

Joust is my favorite from that era. I did love Dig Dug though. Not enough to turn me gay like it did Mr. Savage, but it was a fun game.

Robotron 2084 required the ability to manipulate two joysticks at once. A skill I never mastered, which is probably why I'm straight.

Posted by dwight moody on January 15, 2009 at 10:58 AM

Dig Dug best?!
Great yes! Best? No.
Elevator Action, Spy Hunter, Joust, Galaga
Any of those could potentially be best

I'd had Q*Bert, Moon Patrol, Donkey Kong Jr., Tempest, Battlezone, Centipede, Championship Sprint, among others, to the list.

Difficult to choose!

Posted by shitbrain on January 15, 2009 at 11:13 AM

I must admit I preferred my off-brand computer game that I believe was an attempt to capitilize on Dig Dug's popularity. It was called BoulderDash and it involved spelunking through caves filled with, yes, boulders. And I loved it and lost hours upon hours to it on my computer as a wee girl.

Posted by FreshPickedSeattle on January 15, 2009 at 11:25 AM

there used to be this arcade game called "Naughty Boy", where you ran around and threw rocks at stuff, it was very surreal, does anyone remember it?

Posted by Naughty Boy on January 15, 2009 at 11:46 AM

@18:

Boulder Dash (which was very popular on computers/consoles) grew more out of The Pit arcade game.
/boulder.htm

Posted by stinkbug on January 15, 2009 at 11:51 AM

God damn I miss the 80s sometimes.

Posted by very bad homo on January 15, 2009 at 12:26 PM

Gauntlet was my heroin of video games.

"Wizard shot the food!"
"Elf is about to die!"

Posted by Urgutha Forka on January 15, 2009 at 1:15 PM

@22-Warrior needs food, Badly!

Gauntlet: Dark Legacy for PS2 was a great sequel. It didn't tamper with the core concepts of the game (hack, hack, hack, and also slash) but just made it all bigger and flashier.

Posted by dwight moody on January 15, 2009 at 2:21 PM

@17 Huzzah for Battlezone!

I was also addicted to another called Crazy Climber which I used to play at a local pizzeria. I never saw it anywhere else.

Posted by saxfanatic on January 15, 2009 at 2:43 PM

centipede...the only game I could play better after a beer or two.

Posted by amazonmidwife on January 15, 2009 at 3:36 PM