Slog

News & Arts

The Stranger Suggests

Critics' Best Bets
Music Arts & Food


Line Out

Music & the City
at Night

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Best Year End List of the Year

Posted by on Tue, Jan 13, 2009 at 12:34 PM

OLBERMANN.gifThe Buffalo Beast, which is one of the publications where Matt Taibbi got his start, has released their list of the 50 most loathsome Americans of 2008. It goes after just about everyone (Obama is #50) and it's not just political: Tila Tequila is on the list, as are Stephenie Meyer and John Updike. Each person on the list is charged, presented with an exhibit of their loathsomeness, and then sentenced.

20. Joe the Plumber

Charges: The Che Guevara of bald, pissed off white men. In a lot of ways, Samuel Wurzelbacher really does represent the average American—basing economic opinions on unrealistic expectations of personal future success, blaming his failure to meet those expectations on minorities and old people, complaining about deadbeats getting his taxes when he isn’t actually paying his taxes, and advertising his own rudimentary historical and mathematical ignorance by warning of creeping socialism in a country whose highest income tax rate has dropped by half in thirty years. “Joe” indeed symbolizes the true American dream—to become undeservedly rich and famous through a dizzyingly improbable stroke of luck. As American folk heroes go, Wurzelbacher ranks somewhere between Hulk Hogan and Bernie Goetz.

Exhibit A: "Social Security is a joke...social security I've never believed in, don't like it. I hate that it's forced on me."

Sentence: After blowing his fifteen minutes and all his money on coke and Thai hookers, an infirm, elderly Joe finds that social security actually is a joke, and is finally forced to snake toilets for a living.

It's one of the year-end lists I actually pay close attention to.

 

Comments (7) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
I can only wish we would be invaded by Canada, I can only wish.
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on January 13, 2009 at 12:21 PM
2
Nah, the flooding is over, so all the engineering bridge units are on standdown. Maybe next year.
Posted by Will in Seattle on January 13, 2009 at 12:48 PM
3
Except they forgot Ann Coulter. She's the worst.
Posted by icky on January 13, 2009 at 1:05 PM
4
The best is the last line in Alan Greenspan's entry:

"...thinking to himself, 'This isn't how it worked in Atlas Shrugged!'"
Posted by Urgutha Forka on January 13, 2009 at 1:37 PM
5
I hardly think I (at 43) am worse then the head of the Mormon church or McCain's campaign manager (46 and 45, respectively).
Posted by Renton Mike on January 13, 2009 at 1:39 PM
6
True, @3. Well, she's in the top 3.
Posted by Will in Seattle on January 13, 2009 at 2:29 PM
7
I like the Obama one:

Couldn’t disown Rev. Wright, until he suddenly could, and then marred his first moments as president ahead of time by inviting a pastor whose advice to gays is just to refrain from sex for life. Promised not to run for president, then did; vowed to take public election funds, then didn't; backed telecom immunity, then accepted the nomination at the AT&T sponsored convention; expressed displeasure with Clinton's hawkish foreign policy and vote for war in Iraq, then named her as Secretary of State.

Sentence: Presiding over the decline of an exhausted empire.
Posted by wf on January 13, 2009 at 5:53 PM

Add a comment

Advertisement
 

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC
1535 11th Ave (Third Floor), Seattle, WA 98122
Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy