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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Books Inaugural Poets Can Sometimes Really Suck

Posted by Paul Constant on Tue, Jan 13, 2009 at 2:41 PM

Oh my lord. Andy Griffith's wife wrote a poem for the inauguration of North Carolina's governor. Andy Griffith read the poem. You can see video of it here.

Here is the poem:

North Carolina is my home
I no longer have to roam
When I see our morning sun
I know there's work to be done
Gov. Bev Perdue is the person we choose
because there's so much she can do.
She will need our best to achieve her quest
to be the person we need so we may succeed
Please grant us the peace
to allow her to lead
God bless her and keep her
and always be near her.
As she opens a door
as never before
So as the New Year starts
let us open our hearts
As I trot out again to say
Hello to my friends
I grant I know that all will be great
For our grand Old North State.

I know many of you out there don't know a lot about poetry, so I'll spell it out for you: I know it (sometimes) rhymes and everything, but this is an awful poem. This is worse than an awful poem. This is a terrifyingly bad poem. I have read poems written by children that are better than this poem. As a child, I wrote poems better than this poem. Elizabeth Alexander had better do better than this at Obama's inauguration. Of course, Alexander is a good and award-winning poet, but inaugurations do funny things to people. If she tries to rhyme home/roam, starts/hearts, her/her, choose/do, and quest/succeed, she will be in deep trouble.

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Comments (23) RSS

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1
Is there such a thing as a good poem?
Posted by P to the J on January 13, 2009 at 2:53 PM
2
This makes the poetry I read at Slog Happy of Shame sound damn good.
Posted by boxofbirds on January 13, 2009 at 2:54 PM
3
not that i'm defending the attempt at a poem, but you missed the mark on "quest/succeed". the rhymes are in the same line: "best/quest" and "need/succeed".

Actually, I think that makes it worse.
Posted by not the Bard on January 13, 2009 at 2:58 PM
4
I like to read Slog
You don't have to jog
To go to this blog
My pants are all sog
Now let's go play Pogs
Posted by slog's poet laureate on January 13, 2009 at 3:01 PM
5
@1 - Thanks. It needed to be said.
Posted by Mahtli69 on January 13, 2009 at 3:13 PM
6
Oh my. That's not even McGonagall-level bad. That's just... baaaaad.
Posted by breklor on January 13, 2009 at 3:15 PM
7
quest/success?
Posted by successful_questful on January 13, 2009 at 3:27 PM
8
Pffft, the best rhyme is this iambic gem:

As I trot out again to say
Hello to my friends
Posted by Errrbody on January 13, 2009 at 3:45 PM
9
That poem makes me want to shoot myself.
Posted by Your Name on January 13, 2009 at 3:45 PM
10
If only the poem rhymed "towards" with "birds".
Posted by laterite on January 13, 2009 at 4:01 PM
11
How about some Inaugural Haiku?

Posted by CommonKnowledge on January 13, 2009 at 4:02 PM
12
Happy President
Our shiny happy saviour
Bush sucked donkey ass.
Posted by breklor on January 13, 2009 at 4:07 PM
13
Mr. Obama
On your inauguration
Don’t forget to floss!
Posted by CommonKnowledge on January 13, 2009 at 4:16 PM
14
The meter has two left feet.
The caesurae is more of a seizure.
Posted by inkweary on January 13, 2009 at 4:19 PM
15
'Heaven / given' each on one syllable is the worst forced rhyme ever.
Posted by Greg on January 13, 2009 at 4:21 PM
16
Isn't Obama's inaugural poet going to be Jon BonJovi?
Posted by fruitcakepuppet on January 13, 2009 at 4:24 PM
17
Beats most any lyric on the charts.
Posted by E on January 13, 2009 at 4:28 PM
18
Yes, even though I complain about the alleged poetry the poetry chain has posted, this is crap. Almost as much crap as the stuff the poetry chain has posted, but since you can actually tell what the author was trying to say it edges out the worse crap that the poetry chain has posted.
If this is the type of poem that people are rebelling against-add me to the revolution! I just don't think that random unintelligible poetry is automatically better than this. I'm sorry for the people of North Carolina.
Posted by would love to find a good poem on Slog on January 13, 2009 at 4:32 PM
19
If it rhymed "high" with "fly" and "sky" it could be a Lenny Kravitz song.
Posted by flamingbanjo on January 13, 2009 at 4:43 PM
20
Paul, while you got your gun out, I have a whole barrel of fish you could shoot.

How about a scathing expose of poetry.com?
Posted by The National Library of Poetry on January 13, 2009 at 5:45 PM
21
Constant, these "constantly" smug posts of yours is why your gf is stepping out.

I should know.

hee hee! ;)
Posted by Frank Sinclair on January 13, 2009 at 6:04 PM
22
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I love Specter
Posted by Dave in Chicago on January 13, 2009 at 6:44 PM
23
I think the really disturbing part is that Andy Griffith is apparently married to a ten year old.
Posted by waigouren on January 13, 2009 at 9:38 PM

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