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Monday, January 12, 2009

The Story of Africa

Posted by on Mon, Jan 12, 2009 at 7:53 AM

Africa does not know how to tell any other story than this one:

Later, as the pirates were motoring back to shore in boats, "singing in colorful tone, and exchanging some ridiculous words," one boat capsized and five pirates — who could not swim — drowned. According to my friend Mohamed Omar Hussein, a reporter for Somali Weyn Radio in Mogadishu, other Somalis who were "great swimmers" dove to recover cash that the pirates had sealed in plastic bags. On shore, "pastoralists" collected money that washed up in the surf. Later the body of one drowned pirate was found on the beach with $153,000 on his person.

Mai we!

 

Comments (9) RSS

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1
Well, at least they didn't gamble their earnings away in a basketball game with Kevin Bacon.
Posted by JasenComstock on January 12, 2009 at 8:10 AM
2
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/wo…

October 27, 2007

'Miracle' fuel that made a mockery of Mugabe

Jan Raath in Harare

"When Nomatter Tagarira, a spirit medium, claimed that she could conjure refined diesel out of a rock by striking it with her staff, ministers in Robert Mugabe’s Government believed that they might have found the solution to Zimbabwe’s perennial fuel shortage.

After witnessing her apparently miraculous gift they gave her five billion Zimbabwean dollars in cash (worth £1.7 million at the start of the year but now worth one seven-hundredth of that) in return for the fuel. Ms Tagarira was also given a farm, said to have been seized from its white owner during Mr Mugabe's lawless land grab, as well as food and services that included a round-the-clock armed guard on the rock in the district of Chinhoyi 60 miles (100km) from Harare, the capital.

More than a year later officials realised they had been duped. Ms Tagarira is now in custody, awaiting trial on charges of fraud or, alternatively, of being "a criminal nuisance". Details from court papers published this week said that over 15 months, until July this year, Ms Tagarira convinced Cabinet ministers, ruling party heavy-weights and top army and police officers that by striking the rock with her staff she could produce enough fuel to supply the country for 100 years. "

........

"It’s an outlandish story but the people in government who believed this are the same ones who believe that Mugabe’s official policy of printing money will end inflation," said an economist, who requested anonymity."
.......

"According to the police docket at the court, Ms Tagarira, 35, discovered a large bowser of diesel last year, suspected to have been abandoned in the hills of Chinhoyi during the country’s civil war in the 1970s.

She laid pipes from the bowser to a point at the bottom of the hill. Whenever she assembled an audience, she would strike a rock and an assistant at the top of the hill would open the tap and lo, fuel would pour out. The bowser eventually ran dry but that didn’t stop Ms Tagarira. "They would buy diesel from lorry drivers and keep it in the pipe on the pretext it was coming from a rock," the docket said.

By June the Government had decided the claims were plausible enough to warrant an official investigation. However, where a single geologist would have sufficed, they dispatched a large "task force" of politicians and members of the security forces, led by the deputy commissioner of police.

The task force duly reported to Mr Mugabe's politburo, the most powerful body in the country, that the liquid appearing at the rock had been siphoned into lorries and that they had driven off without problem."

.....
More...
Posted by Robert Mugape on January 12, 2009 at 8:27 AM
3
It's like those two guys in the twilight zone who steal all this gold and bury themselves in a cave in a time capsule so the statute of limitations runs out...then they find they are in the desert and their car breaks down and they have to walk and end up dying of thirst and one guy makes the other guy pay for some water with a bar of gold until he doesn't have any more and then he dies and then the guy with the gold dies and then a modern couple in a Ford Futurama comes motoring by and they say "sheesh, look at this poor fellow carrying gold...it was once worth something...IN THE 20TH CENTURY".
Posted by Irony Guy on January 12, 2009 at 8:31 AM
4
AND THE POINT IS

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Posted by Tom on January 12, 2009 at 8:46 AM
5
Bad Bad Africa!
Bad Bad African Americans!
You didn't vote for Gay Marriage!
Dirty Civil Rights traitors!
You all deserve to die from AIDS!
Posted by your friends at The Stranger on January 12, 2009 at 8:47 AM
6
"Mai we?" --- were you trying for French? Like perhaps "Mais, oui"........
Posted by hartiepie on January 12, 2009 at 9:48 AM
7
I'm surprised anybody would want to swim in that water, what with all the nuclear waste the Mafia has been dumping there.
Posted by Greg on January 12, 2009 at 9:52 AM
8
Finding a dead pirate containing $153,000 on the beach is almost as good as finding a fish that grants magic wishes.
Posted by NapoleonXIV on January 12, 2009 at 10:37 AM
9
another story of africa:

http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs…

RW Johnson: The South African President's harem

Posted: February 06, 2009, 11:00 AM by NP Editor

RW Johnson, South Africa

The ongoing row in the South African press over President Kgalema Motlanthe’s complicated love life has brought out into the open a subject that much of the country’s ruling black elite would rather keep hidden. Motlanthe, 59, is estranged from his wife, has a steady 45-year-old mistress and a 24-year-old, now heavily pregnant, lover. The African National Congress (ANC) spokesman, Carl Niehaus, insists that media attention is an invasion of privacy, but South African journalists have proven underwhelmed by this response.

Only a few weeks ago, Niehaus issued a statement denouncing as “lies” reports that the ANC leader (and, doubtless, South Africa’s future president), Jacob Zuma, was about to marry a fifth wife. When the reports were quickly proved true, Niehaus hurriedly insisted that Zuma’s behaviour, though “in line with African custom and tradition,” was a private matter. Still, South African journalists want to know: Who exactly is our First Lady? In particular, which of Zuma’s five wives (he is currently courting a sixth) will be the First Lady at his presidential inauguration in April?

“What you’re really looking at here is a collision of cultures which has been going on ever since the first missionaries landed at the Cape,” says sociologist Laurence Schlemmer. “To an extraordinary extent, the missionaries managed to associate the Christian ideal of monogamy with high social status and modernity.”

Indeed, Zuma is unusual in his frank acknowledgement of his own polygamy. In the eyes of many educated Africans, this is a shameful sign of his cultural backwardness — that, as former president Thabo Mbeki put it, Zuma is still a traditional Zulu peasant at heart. All educated Africans publicly deplore the ever-expanding harems maintained by the Swazi and Zulu kings. But among less-educated Africans — Zuma’s natural followers — polygamy is far more easily accepted.

Stanley Mogoba, former president of the Pan Africanist Congress, has said that “virtually none of the African National Congress leadership have normal and stable family lives. There are multiple but hidden wives and mistresses, ex-wives, unacknowledged and hidden children, every imaginable sort of arrangement. Sometimes, they seem almost to turn themselves inside out trying to be or appear what they are really not.”

Thus, officially, Nelson Mandela has been serially monogamous with three consecutive wives. But it is no secret that, at least when he was young, he was a philanderer on a large scale, and there are persistent rumours of illegitimate children. Mbeki was also known to be a ladies man on an almost industrial scale. The accusation could hardly be denied, but drawing attention to it was impermissible, especially since Mbeki was haunted by notions that the AIDS epidemic had confirmed stereotypes of lustful and sexually irresponsible African male behaviour. Similarly, neither Motlanthe nor Zuma welcomes questions about, or even attention being paid to, their marital lives.

This anomalous situation is compounded by the fact that although polygamy is legal in South Africa and homophobia common, the South African constitution is one of the world’s most progressive in its acknowledgement and championing of gay rights and gender equality. Feminists have won legal battles over inheriting property — even though in African customary law a widow and all her chattels belong to her late husband’s family — and have angrily denounced polygamy as a form of female subordination.

But even such feminist advances have their own contradictions: When Joe Modise, the notoriously corrupt former defence minister, died, his wife asserted her right to inherit his considerable wealth. The trouble was that so did his regular mistress. A battle royal ensued.

It is hardly surprising, then, that the black elite are trying to keep the subject of polygamy out of the press. It brings to light too much embarrassment and anxiety about what constitutes “respectable” behaviour.

Still, the question remains: Who is South Africa’s First Lady?

National Post

– RW Johnson is emeritus fellow of Magdalen College, Oxford, and Southern Africa correspondent for The Sunday Times.


More...
Posted by MUH DIK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUH DIK! on February 6, 2009 at 11:38 PM

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