Since last summer's Penny Arcade Expo coverage was a mess of tech-speak and nerdgasms, you're likely to have missed my praise for The Maw. Made by a nine-man team out of Austin, this video game blew me away in demo form back in August; you spend your gametime beating an unruly beast-pet into doing your bidding, typically with odd results. This owner-pet relationship is charming and witty in ways most games aren't—nice that it took only nine guys to nail it. Even as nothing more than potential, it's a coup for the indie gaming sphere.
Good, then, that the makers made a surprise release announcement today; looks like The Maw will be on Xbox Live a week from Wednesday. I'll be on next week to talk about it, hopefully with raves rather than overhyped disappointment. At the very least, its demo will be worth the time and non-money.
The Maw is also up for some Independent Games Festival awards this year. As are a ton of other interesting games. If you want a primer to modern indie gaming, and don't want to blow cash on genius titles like World of Goo or Braid, check out some downloadable IGF finalists here. Dyson, for example, is a free, uh, galaxy-building game that I enjoyed being confused by.
The Seattle/King County Municipal League has released its candidate ratings for the February (yes, February) King County Elections Director election, and just two candidates—current elections director Sherril Huff and former Republican KC Council member David Irons—received a rating of "outstanding," meaning, "Has made numerous outstanding contributions requiring skills related to the office, is a path-finding and respected leader, and brings knowledge and creativity to issues facing the office." Another, former bank manager Bill Anderson, was rated "very good" (one level below "outstanding"); and the remaining candidates, schoolteacher Chris Clifford, fired former elections director Julie Anne Kempf, and state senator Pam Roach (R-31), were merely "adequate" ("Has a record of participation and interest, is effective on specific issues, has provoked questions about suitability as an office holder, will need significant time/energy to fill gaps in knowledge").
Unlike, say, City Council questionnaires, the questionnaires filed by candidates for this position are as dry as week-old matzo. Pam Roach brags about getting her ham radio certification, and Kempf—who was fired for lying about the late mailing of absentee ballots, and subsequently arrested in an investigation of forgery, theft, criminal impersonation and assault—actually has the gall to brag that she "successfully managed this elections office in a time of crisis"—but honestly, that's about it. Still, given that this the only thing on the ballot in February, you literally have no excuse not to mail your ballot in before February 3.

I've written a lot about comic books today, but the news just keeps a-comin': Harvey Pekar has written and will perform in a jazz opera called Leave Me Alone!. It will be performed in Oberlin this month. On the opera's website, there is a link that will enable anyone to watch the opera for free on the internet at at 8 PM (Oberlin time) on January 31, 2009.
I don't know about you, but I can't imagine anything better to do on a Saturday night in January than watch Harvey Pekar perform in an opera over an internet connection.*
* (The sad thing is, I'm serious.)
You heard me. FREE ORAL SEX. Well, that is, if you're a clean female in the Louisville Kentucky area.
Meet George Kistner. Sometimes he looks like Kid Rock... sometimes he looks like a vampire. Shoot, sometimes he even puts on a suit.
So hey, this is your big chance! If you're one of the millions of women who love oral sex, APPLY NOW*!
*Some restrictions apply. Must purchase your own plane ticket to Louisville.
This morning, the King County Council had its turn interrogating Metro general manager Kevin Desmond, KCDOT Road Services Division director Linda Dougherty, and other county officials about the performance of Metro and the county's transportation network during the December snowstorm. Desmond's presentation, which dominated the second half of the meeting, was—as promised—a more detailed rehash of of his presentation to the Seattle City Council last week. However, council members' questions did elicit some new information.
First, it's now clear that Metro made a decision to run as many routes as possible poorly than to run fewer routes more reliably. Dow Constantine, the new chair of the county council, asked Desmond why Metro couldn't have simply limited service to streets it knew it would be able to keep open—major arterials like Aurora and Lake City Way. Desmond responded, essentially, that it would have been embarrassing for Metro to have shut down routes if the snow hadn't ended up happening. "Had we that morning told the public, we’re in a weather emergency, and now we’re going to go to this massively truncated system… and you wake up in the morning and there’s no bus for blocks and blocks or miles, it’s a tough choice." Even if Metro had switched to a reduced schedule, Desmond said, it might not have made any difference in terms of reliability and the ability to get information to riders. "Even on those corridors where we think we can guarantee service, if a tree falls down, as it did on Aurora, we were massively delayed. And the buses then stack up and we really have no effective means to tell people downstream what’s going on."
Larry Phillips, who's challenging County Executive Ron Sims in November, has questioned the executive's low profile during the storm. In contrast to Mayor Greg Nickels, who's made a point of at least appearing to demand answers from city departments (he has three open houses scheduled to discuss storm response, for example), Sims has let Desmond take the heat—although he, unlike Seattle Department of Transportation director Grace Crunican, was at least in town during the storm, his office confirms.
At today's meeting, Phillips had a barrage of questions for Desmond—so many, in fact, that Constantine eventually tried to nudge him along so others could speak. One somewhat reassuring detail that came out today was that, according to Desmond, Metro did manage to get people to medical appointments, by recommissioning Access vans (which actually do better than buses in the snow). One question I'd still like to hear answered in more detail: Given that Metro took articulated and trolley buses out of service almost immediately, why did it take so long (until January 5; the snowstorms started on December 17) to get buses back in commission? And what was the exact nature of the "vehicle maintenance" that left many riders stranded for more than a week after all the snow had thawed?
The ladies of The View smack-down Ann Coulter. Enjoy.

Jackson Pollock's Mural, which cash-strapped University of Iowa administrators considered selling last year.
Last month two pretty shocking things happened in the museum world. One, the nation's best contemporary art museum considered subsuming itself in another museum but did not seriously or publicly consider selling art to keep itself afloat. Two, a far more obscure museum did sell two works of art in order to keep its lights on—and was publicly blacklisted by the museum community.
These are not isolated cases. Universities and libraries have tried (some successfully) to sell off artworks to square up their balance sheets. Other museums, like the Detroit Institute of Arts, are holding on to their van Goghs despite facing tens of millions of dollars in shortfalls. And it seems there is news every day about another museum's financial woes in this economy: today's exposed victim is the Denver Art Museum.
To people outside the art world, the math can seem obvious: If museums are sitting on all this valuable art, why don't they sell some of it to pay the bills?
That, as you can imagine, makes many art people scream.
Things tend to devolve quickly into shouting matches.
But do they have to? Is compromise possible? Can museums ever sell works of art except for the purpose of collecting more art (the current rule)? Where did that rule come from? And who is the best authority for determining whether sales that do fund other art purchases are in fact justified?
Into this controversy waded Jori Finkel, a writer from Los Angeles for the New York Times, whose story about the history, philosophy, and controversy of deaccessioning—"Whose Rules About Art Sales Are These, Anyway?"—appeared on December 28.
Now, in a taped phone interview with me, she takes an even broader look, talking about what didn't make it into her story and what her greater goals were in writing the piece.
She also directs attention to voices outside the usual suspects (which are also worth checking out for background here, here, and here): Michael O'Hare's public policy paper "Capitalizing Art Museum Collections: Awkward for Museums but Good for Art and Society," and Adrian Ellis's 2004 essay for The Art Newspaper, "A New Approach to the Deaccessioning Issue."
Once you start thinking about it, you can't stop. And the current rule seems both incomplete and overly restrictive. Surely there's an opportunity here for reasoned reform.
The entire podcast of Finkel's interview is here, but you can also click below to hear a snippet of her commentary:

The city council's released its 2009 priorities in a meeting that just wrapped up a few minutes ago.
Going around the dais, show-and-tell style, each council member presented the two or three council priorities that most closely concerned his or her committee. The scintillating details:
• Tim Burgess wants to improve the city's relationship with the school district, make neighborhoods safer, and improve delivery of city services. Vague, but not as vague as things quickly became, as you'll see...
• Richard McIver—retiring to his villa in Mexico later this year—said he wants to create more housing and jobs (see? vague) and "make sure that Seattle has a vibrant and creative industry that thrives on live music as well as recorded, but primarily live because that has been a major part of blah blah blah" (bizarrely specific).
• Sally Clark wants to improve South Downtown so that "it's a place that we are proud to look at" and update the neighborhood plans.
• Jan Drago's "theme is continuing to move forward" on transportation, including 520 and the viaduct. Drago is expected to retire this year.
• Jean Godden wants to "continue to put people first" in the city budget and improve customer service. She also quoted Obama at length—something about blood, sweat, and tears making the world "just a little bit better than the one we have today."
• At this point, Bruce Harrell dispensed completely with the pretense of introducing priorities, and went on for a while about "very strategic issues" and "critically important... regional and national relationships." I think it had something to do with City Light. Plus he wants the city to make some kind of system that will tell people they have to clear snow off their sidewalks and "what to do when their televisions no longer work." I believe this magical system was part of his campaign platform as well.
• Tom Rasmussen wants to make sure the parks levy gets off to a good start and improve Seattle Center, including Key Arena and the saddest little amusement park in the world, the Fun Forest.
• Nick Licata wants to enhance the arts, increase police oversight, and improve pedestrian safety.
• And Conlin wants to "take steps toward the goal" of reducing homelessness and hunger.
Well, who doesn't? The problem with that worthy laundry list (apart from the fact that it's basically the same every year) is that there isn't one single proposal in there that might cause anyone to raise an eyebrow (in disapproval or even interest). Why doesn't the council use the opportunity—the TV cameras, the assembled audience—to roll out some real initiatives, along the lines of the proposals Nickels rolls out in his State of the City speech every year? (In 2008, for example, Nickels proposed amping up spending on youth gang violence, passing a levy to fix up Pike Place Market, and increasing restrictions on guns. Two out of three ain't bad).
The council is made up of nine people with nine different agendas, but that doesn't have to be a liability. Instead of trying to paper over their differences, the council should use them to their advantage—introducing individual priorities, rather than inventing collective ones. Council members often complain that the mayor hogs the civic spotlight, but that isn't really fair—the mayor gets attention because he demands it. If council members want citizens to pay attention to them, they need priorities more substantial than "we want to make Seattle a better place for everyone."
With recent events in California regarding the 28 year-old lesbian being brutally beaten and gang raped perhaps people in media may want to be more responsible regarding their woman hating tendencies.
I have just listened to Dan Savage's podcast where he was talking to a "caller" who was supposedly lesbian but "craves cock." Dan went on to say how many lesbians crave cock. Can someone please educate this idiot that this "caller" is bisexual with leanings towards women? I find it very disappointing that your newspaper would have this person write for you, yet have no one of the lesbian persuasion doing the same thing. Many male-run magazines insist on leaving a real lesbian voice out so they can live in a fantasy world. Dan Savage's make believe world is one where everyone loves men, men, men! Men are so spectacular, and everyone craves cock, even lesbians! That is a deranged farce. Only gay men are disgusted by women and neeeeever come on to women. Wrong. Every women knows this is false. Gay men where I live are constantly coming on to straight women, lesbians, bisexual women, and are always sleeping with their slutty faghags.Please inform this uneducated columnist that lesbians don't crave cock as he stated about 15 times in his latest podcast. This is very hurtful to the lesbian community.
Fem In The City
I could argue with you, FITC—there's so much to argue with, particularly your opening sentence—but I'm thinkin' it might be better if I just step out of the way and run another reader's letter, below, that arrived the same day that your letter did. I will say this though: there are a lot of lesbian-identified women out there who may technically be bisexual; just as there are tons of straight-identified men out there who may be technically be bisexual. But who's to say that someone can't or shouldn't round themselves up or down, as the case may be, and embrace a professed sexual identity that they feel most accurately reflects 1. their desires and 2. how they choose to lives their lives?
And, I'm sorry, but the gay men where you live are very different from the gay men where I live. Sleeping with faghags? Maybe in high school, maybe under duress. But not grownup gay men. Anyway, you might want to sit down before you read this...
You remarked recently that "gay teens are having straight sex in order 'to prove they are heterosexual to avoid harassment and discrimination'". I couldn't help but laugh in light of a sad, and sometimes, deadly reality: many good-looking lesbians (and even some of the not-so-good-looking lesbians) are having unprotected sex with men.There I said it!
It's take a lot of sneaking around and lying to one's self for lesbians to have sex with men. I know one woman who had the balls to fuck a guy while her girlfriend was passed out on vicodin & ambien in the other room. The excuse for not using protection or getting tested for HIV? "I'm a lesbian." Muncher, please!
Lessons learned from this alleged "Kinsey 6" hussie:
1) Don't assume just because a woman is a lesbian that her honeypot does not have any flies.
2) A lesbian that scorns another lesbian for being honest about fucking a guy is probably a big fat cocksucker herself.
3) Get yourself tested twice a year (NO EXCUSES).Straight Talking Diva Telling Recalcitrant Unapologetic Truths Handily (STD-TRUTH)
From CNN:
President-elect Barack Obama plans to close the U.S. military prison at Guantanamo Bay as early as his first week in office to show a break from the Bush administration's approach to the war on terror, according to two officials close to the transition.One of the officials said it would be in keeping with Obama's campaign promise to shut down the prison through executive order, a move which was also pushed by last year's Republican presidential nominee, Sen. John McCain, R-Arizona.
"The president-elect has repeatedly said the legal framework at Gitmo has failed to successfully and swiftly prosecute terrorists," said one of the officials close to the transition, who was not authorized to speak publicly about private deliberations.
Such a move would reassure those concerned after Obama's recent public comments suggested he may not immediately shut the prison down.
"It is more difficult than I think a lot of people realize and we are going to get it done, but part of the challenge that you have is that you have a bunch of folks that have been detained, many of whom who may be very dangerous who have not been put on trial or have not gone through some adjudication," Obama said on ABC's "This Week" on Sunday when asked whether he would close the prison in his first 100 days.
Obama also said he was trying to develop a process that "adheres to rule of law" but "doesn't result in releasing people who are intent on blowing us up."
Barfield Loses his Lunch is a parody of Garfield. It's almost exactly the same sense of humor as Garfield, only with sex jokes and lots of other bodily function jokes added in. It gets a little monotonous in the middle, but it actually is a story with a beginning, middle and end, and at points it becomes a sad story of a man who loves animals way too much.
Giant birds went camping, pooped all over New Zealand, science claims:
Giant birds camping out in caves and rock shelters thousands of years ago left behind enormous feces, reaching nearly half a foot in length. The preserved poop reveals what the now-extinct birds munched on so long ago.The fossilized feces — more than 1,500 pieces — were discovered beneath cave floors and rock shelters in remote areas across southern New Zealand. The feces primarily came from species of the extinct giant moa, flightless birds that weighed up to 550 pounds (250 kg) and stood at nearly 10 feet (three meters).
"Surprisingly for such large birds, over half the plants we detected in the feces were under 30 centimeters (1 foot) in height," said study researcher Jamie Wood of the University of Otago in New Zealand. "This suggests that some moa grazed on tiny herbs, in contrast to the current view of them as mainly shrub and tree browsers."
"When animals shelter in caves and rock shelters, they leave feces which can survive for thousands of years if dried out," said study researcher Alan Cooper of the University of Adelaide in Australia. "Given the arid conditions, Australia should probably have similar deposits from the extinct giant marsupials. A key question for us is, 'Where has all the Australian poo gone?'"
The P-I is not alone, of course. Here is just one list of predicted media failures in 2009. Several are other major Hearst money losers. I had actually forgotten that Answers.com even existed.
The Bacon Explosion: "It's basically a bacon weave made out of a pound of bacon, filled with 2 pounds of Italian sausage and another pound of bacon."

Sorry about your eyeballs' arteries. More here.
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
As part of the 4th annual Children's Film Festival later this month, Northwest Film Forum will be showing Speedy Delivery, a documentary about David Newell, a.k.a. Mr. McFeely, the friendly mailman of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.
And at the January 24-25 screenings, Newell will be here in person! McFeely! Here! In his little blue Speedy Delivery suit and cap. WITH HIS MUSTACHE.
Something about this announcement has caused me to go insane.
This just in from Indianapolis:
At least six people saw an 11-year-old girl on her family's couch, unable to walk and crying in pain after suffering second- and third-degree burns that went untreated for nearly two weeks, police said.The girl's parents—Fredrick and Sharon Wessel—were charged on Friday with felony child neglect resulting in serious bodily injury. They were arrested on Wednesday after someone in the neighborhood called 911 to report that their daughter, Heather Wessel, had been badly burned, 6News' Jack Rinehart reported.
Police said the girl was standing near a propane heater inside the family's southeast-side home at 343 Villa Ave. on Dec. 24 when her pajama bottoms caught fire. Her parents told police that she had been unable to walk, but that they had been treating her burns with moisturizer.... Ambulance records obtained by 6News on Thursday showed that Fredrick Wessel—who recently underwent a tracheotomy—called medics to the family's home at least once for himself after his daughter had been burned.
And also today in Indiana: a bill was introduced in Indiana today that would put an anti-gay marriage amendment to that state's constitution before voters. "Judges and politicians should never impose a system that knowingly deprives a child of a mom and a dad," says the anti-gay Alliance Defense Fund. Never mind that having a mom and a dad is no guarantee that a child will be well cared for (see above), and never mind that two straight people can be married without having children and have children without being married (so kids aren't necessarily the point of marriage), and never mind that thousands of gay and lesbian couples in Indiana are already raising children.
Let's never mind all of that and see if we can't find common ground—Obama-style!—with the assholes and bigots at the Alliance Defense Fund. Hm... let me think...
Hey, maybe if gay and lesbian couples in Indiana promised to stop adopting children who have been abused, abandoned or neglected by their heterosexual parents, the Alliance Defense Fund could get behind marriage equality for same-sex couples! That way the "system" won't be knowingly depriving a child of a mom and a dad anymore. That right—the right to deprive a child love and security and a home—will once again rest with Indiana's biological mothers and fathers, just as God intended it to.
Is it a deal?
In honor of George W. Bush's last press conference, how about Richard M. Nixon's last inaugural?
When we met here four years ago, America was bleak in spirit, depressed by the prospect of seemingly endless war abroad and of destructive conflict at home.As we meet here today, we stand on the threshold of a new era of peace in the world.
That was 1972. And what a lovely era of peace in the world it's been ever since! Full speech here.
From Matt Anderson, a hopeful young journalist:
To whom it may concern:
My name is Matt Anderson and I am a freshman at the University of Puget Sound. I am also the News Editor of the University's newspaper, The Trail, as well as a monthly columnist for The News Tribune, Tacoma's local daily.
I was hoping that it would be possible for me to come into The Stranger's offices for a day to shadow a reporter, designer or an editor.... I am very interested in going into journalism as a career field and was hoping to see what it was like to work at an alternative weekly.
If this is possible, please let me know.
Thank you.
From me, to The Stranger's editorial staff:
Is anyone willing to be shadowed? It seems so boring as to be cruel (for both parties, I suppose).
From Mr. Mudede:
in this economy, jobs are already shadows.
(Mr. Anderson is now contemplating an unpaid internship with us [boring AND ongoing!] and, presumably, his career path.)
Bush's farewell press conference today:
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
Compared to other goodbyes, it was a long one—more than 45 minutes—but apparently a classic performance:
Looking back over the long arc of his turbulent presidency, Mr. Bush was by turns impassioned and defiant, reflective and light-hearted. He confessed a litany of mistakes, cautioned Republicans to be inclusive and wondered aloud what it would feel like to make coffee for his wife, Laura, at their ranch in Crawford,Tex., on the morning after Mr. Obama takes his place one week from Tuesday.
I've already written about Spider-Man saving Obama in a special Inaugural Issue of his comic book. Well, it turns out that Obama's other comic book love, Conan the Barbarian, is getting into the act, too. Dark Horse Comics publisher Mike Richardson is mailing the president-elect 30 volumes of collected Conan comic books.
Slog Tipper David forwarded this fascinating insight into the publishing world, which he saw on BoingBoing:
It's really courageous of Macmillan to pull the curtain back and reveal to us all exactly how books are produced and sold.
Thanks to David.
Come to the Wildrose at 6 pm on Thursday for the first Slog Happy of 2009!
The Wildrose was one of the 11 bars targeted in the ricin threats, but that will not stop us from gathering, drinking $2 wells, and eating corndogs and tator tater tots. Nothing keeps me from tator tater tots.
See you Thursday!
(I'm sorry I initially spelled tater tots as "tator" tots. I'm stupid. I regret the errer. [I meant to mispell error. That was a joke. Get it? Come to Slog Happy.])
Amazon has a listing for a Playmobil Security Checkpoint.

It's not real (The vendor is listed as "by Toys - not a real vendor (test account)"), but the customer reviews are pretty hilarious. Here are some:
Wow! So much better than playing school or house for brainwashing—-I mean, acclimatizing today's tots to the realities of the Global War on Terror. I especially appreciated the enclosed signed photo of Michael Chertoff and his letter explaining how necessary it is to start educating today's youth early with toys like these, especially as their elders just don't seem to be taking the whole thing seriously, what with posting snarky reviews on Amazon and all, and it's going to take a while to get KBR's re-education camps in Nevada up and running properly. I know my little four year-old grandson was really impressed with this set. He's now so scared it's undone a whole year of potty training and he's now wetting his pants about five times a day.
I've heard that they were going to publish a coupon and code, to allow us to buy this for $9.11, they're just waiting for the economy to drop a little more then it currently is. Its a marketing thing I know... In addition they plan on offering a collectors verision that will have the metal detector painted GOLD, though the'll have to use lead based paint because its cost effective. I love toys :-)
This is just a sop to the authoritarians among us. I am holding out for the release of the Guantanemo Playset. Hopefully this will come with an extrordinary rendition option.
You should go and check it out before Amazon pulls it.

Remember how everyone used to say that men who watched a lot of porn were more likely to commit rape? Reverse Cowgirl points to a report by a law professor at Northwestern that states the opposite is true.
While the nationwide incidence of rape was showing a drastic decline, the incidence of rape in the four states having the least access to the internet showed an actual increase in rape over the same time period. This result was almost too clear and convincing, so to check it I compiled figures for the four states having the most access to the internet. Three out of four of these states showed declines (in New Jersey, an almost 50% decline). Alaska was an anomaly: it increased both in internet access and incidence of rape. However, the population of Alaska is less than one-tenth that of the other three states in its category. To adjust for the disparity in population, I took the combined population of the four states in each table and calculated the percentage change in the rape statistics:Four states with lowest internet access Increase in rape of 53%
Four states with highest internet access Decrease in rape of 27%
You should read the whole thing.
After being in a dishwasher for the last week or two, we are in for some dry, sunny days.
Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, it's 87 degrees.