Sunday, January 11, 2009
Housekeeping One Random Image, Two Random Thoughts
Posted by Dan Savage on Sun, Jan 11, 2009 at 12:44 PM
First, whoever lives in the basement apartment behind 14th E. with the monorail sign in the window? You made my morning.
Second, we have some guests coming tonight—they're only staying one night, so we're making up the bed in the extra room, and I just set some towels out for them. Now when I stay someplace for one night I typically don't shower. I'll take a shower before I leave, and I'll take one when I get home. And it's not a problem when I stay in a hotel—less mess for a grateful maid to clean up, I figure. But when I'm staying in someone's home, though, and they set out towels... I feel obligated to shower, lest they think I'm sort of non-bathing pigosaurus. I've gone so far as to run a shower, briefly, so the tub is wet, and muss up the towels, so that my hosts will think I showered, even though I didn't.
Third, everyone at Slog is aware that the New York Times profiled Seattle's Mark "Overcompensating for Something" Driscoll in today's magazine. I don't think anyone's linked it on Slog yet because no one has had a chance to read it. I'll read it at some point, post something, and in the meantime let's all keep praying for the Ted Haggard/Jimmy Swaggart/Jim Baker-crackup for which Driscoll seems predestined.
1
So you waste water AND force your hosts to re-wash perfectly clean towels so's you can keep up appearances? Wasn't this an episode of Seinfeld?
Why not just start a dialog? Problem solved.
Why not just start a dialog? Problem solved.
2
A pigasaurus? You? Granted I have never met you, but I've yet to meet a skinny-twink afficinado who didn't primp, and I've never smelled anything from your pod casts. Now about that need to falsify your non-pigasaurus status---that should probably be addressed professionally somehow.......
And as for the Mars Hill article: Made me glad I live far enough away from Seattle that I don't have to be reading or listening to refereneces to that "church". Jesus kicked ass in the temple and that was about it. Somebody needs to fill Ye Olde Pastor in that Jesus never married and mainly hung out with guys ......
And as for the Mars Hill article: Made me glad I live far enough away from Seattle that I don't have to be reading or listening to refereneces to that "church". Jesus kicked ass in the temple and that was about it. Somebody needs to fill Ye Olde Pastor in that Jesus never married and mainly hung out with guys ......
3
You would have to bring your own bathh towels to my place because they are lined up from bathroom to washing machine in order of funkiness (unless I know your coming) then I'll shove all it if the wash the washing machine and pray they will be done before you arrive.
When I travel (usually yhe Mission District) I'll go to Walgreens's and by a small set of wash cloth, hand towell, and bathsheet for the for-7 days I will visit.
Back at home I will always have two clean hand towels in both the bathroom and the kitchen. And I have always have a nice soap dispenser that is obvious soap. I hate those fancy little saps, especially where no real soap is in sight. The sight of those roses makes me want to wash my balls with those dainty little flowers.
When I travel (usually yhe Mission District) I'll go to Walgreens's and by a small set of wash cloth, hand towell, and bathsheet for the for-7 days I will visit.
Back at home I will always have two clean hand towels in both the bathroom and the kitchen. And I have always have a nice soap dispenser that is obvious soap. I hate those fancy little saps, especially where no real soap is in sight. The sight of those roses makes me want to wash my balls with those dainty little flowers.
4
Dan, are you becoming the Larry David of Seattle? Because I think there might be a show in that.
5
Driscoll is creepy. And I think you are correct that he's overcompensating. I don't think he believes what he's saying but it brings in the money, money, money.
6
Sorry for the typos. I am heavily medicated and in pain right now, yet strangely bored.
7
For persons without NYT subscriptions:
Username silly101
Password revenue
(http://www.bugmenot.com/view/nyt.com)
Username silly101
Password revenue
(http://www.bugmenot.com/view/nyt.com)
8
I want Rick Warren and Mark Driscoll to appear in some gay porno bondage film. I want it to leak a day before the Innaugaration. If that happens I will believe there is a God.
9
You could just get a washcloth wet, indicating you washed. Less laundry for your hosts.
10
Or you could just say "I'm not going to shower because I showered this morning" or whatever. Do you not talk to your hosts at all?
11
heh....heh heh....
I use that 'run the shower and muss the towel but don't actually bathe' trick all the time with mom...
...heh heh..
..sometimes for weeks..heh heh..
Butthead also thinks bathing sux...
...heh heh...
I use that 'run the shower and muss the towel but don't actually bathe' trick all the time with mom...
...heh heh..
..sometimes for weeks..heh heh..
Butthead also thinks bathing sux...
...heh heh...
12
I blogged about the profile yesterday; I said I thought the NYT did a better job than The Stranger. Sorry. And I whined about the hipster thing, because that's what I do. It's all I do. You can't stop me...
13
10 has the appropriate response to your dilemma. I would be totally cool with a house guest who didn't shower who only stays overnight...unless they already smelled like a pigosaurus when they arrived. I guess we need Chicago Fan to provide some insight.
14
dude, what if you have messy old butt sex -- no shower after? can you go a day without doing it?
15
regarding the article in the NYT, I thought that the headline writer deserves a prize:
http://seattle.metblogs.com/2009/01/10/t…
http://seattle.metblogs.com/2009/01/10/t…
16
your showering habits are obvious. not only didn't you shower last month when you were all over those TV shows, you never took off your shirt.
17
14
I think a considerate guest burns the bed after
I think a considerate guest burns the bed after
18
Kelly O and Ari Spool give Dan Savage glass of Metamucil, Dan Savage drink Metamucil, freak out, Rooney out, DAN SAVAGE BECOME ANDY ROONEY!
DAN SAVAGE WILL SPEND REMAINDER OF JOURNALISTIC CAREER WHINING ON SLOG ABOUT INCONSIDERATE HOSTS AND OTHER SUCH TRIVIAL SHIT!
And no, I don't feel like letting it go.
DAN SAVAGE WILL SPEND REMAINDER OF JOURNALISTIC CAREER WHINING ON SLOG ABOUT INCONSIDERATE HOSTS AND OTHER SUCH TRIVIAL SHIT!
And no, I don't feel like letting it go.
19
I would so totally shower. But I wouldn't think it strange if my guest chose not to. If you ever visit Baltimore (Mobtown/The City That Reads/The Greatest City in America/Charm City/The Seattle of Maryland) for a quick visit, we won't leave a towel out for you.
20
The Driscoll profile is actually pretty good: it's imposible to read it without it being absolutely clear that a) Driscoll is an extremist asshole and b) the theology of his church is one at which the majority of American Christians - including fundies - would laugh.
21
martin luther as indie rock. words. fail. me.
22
Who are these hosts who inspect the towels and tub to make sure someone actually showered?
23
i am relieved when my guests don't use the shower. doing laundry is a pain in the ass. and my shower has permanent black mold in it. and i hate other people using my soap.
24
I do the same thing, only I also pluck off a few pubic hairs and stick them on their soap, and maybe some suspicious brown stains and/or corn kernels, for added verisimilitude.
25
Showering daily is , in most cases unnecessary.One can wash daily, private parts, face,hands, and be good to go. If we all re-adjusted think of all the water we'd save. Only 30 years ago, ( yes there were indoor facilities) the norm was to shower on saturdays. that was it!
26
I sleep on the floor, but then mess up the bed sheets in the morning. I don't what my hosts to think I'm some animal!
27
Driscoll is more mainstream than you may think. He is a Calvinist, ie Presbyterian.
28
30 years ago? you mean 1980? showing once a week in 1980?
while i agree we don't have to shower daily, i'm not so sure about the that little tidbit of historical trivia you offered.
while i agree we don't have to shower daily, i'm not so sure about the that little tidbit of historical trivia you offered.
29
The article is rather fascinating. I was brought up in a liberation theology-heavy Catholic household. We were brought up with a lot of talk about free will, constant examination of faith, our actions and how it was almost heretical to make statements about which side God was on. Maybe it is just my particular context but it seems like this "new Calvinism" doesn't really go in much for reflection of faith or the evolution of how the bible is viewed. (Even Catholics over the centuries had some pretty wild changes when it came to opinions or "truth". Like believing that the Virgin Mary carried Jesus in her ear when she was pregnant.) I suppose for some the lack of examination or questions offers more security in beliefs.
30
@24 Thanks for keeping it classy!
31
i want to punch mark driscoll in his stupid face so bad.
32
I feel gross if I don't shower in the morning. That was true for me just as much in 1980 as it is today. But that's just me.
As for Mark Driscoll, he can try to make Calvinism more palatable to 21st century teenagers, and even enjoy some success, but this theology still sucks. There's a well known quote from a few months back, something about lipstick and pigs...
As for Mark Driscoll, he can try to make Calvinism more palatable to 21st century teenagers, and even enjoy some success, but this theology still sucks. There's a well known quote from a few months back, something about lipstick and pigs...
33
I can maybe see not showering at a house you are staying at, but why would you not shower in a hotel? I love taking a long hot hotel shower (something I usually don't do at home) and then leaving the towel for someone else to deal with. Since I spent a few summers being that "someone else", I know it's not a big deal.
Plus you get to play with mini soaps and baby shampoos! What's not to love about that?
Plus you get to play with mini soaps and baby shampoos! What's not to love about that?
34
That's nothing. Once the Light Rail boondoggle collapses, you can frame and sell original copies of Prop. 1. on E-bay.
That's nothing. Once the Light Rail boondoggle collapses, you can frame and sell original copies of Prop. 1. on E-bay.
35
Grandma, the home called. Time for a diaper change and your meds. Go nighty-night.
(btw, this isn't eBay. Have your nurse help you with that.)
(btw, this isn't eBay. Have your nurse help you with that.)
36
Here's the take-away for me:
"When one of the renegade elders refused to repent, the church leadership ordered members to shun him. One member complained on an online message board and instantly found his membership privileges suspended. “They are sinning through questioning,” Driscoll preached."
When questioning authority is a sin, then the patriarch has the power to assfuck anybody in the organization.
"When one of the renegade elders refused to repent, the church leadership ordered members to shun him. One member complained on an online message board and instantly found his membership privileges suspended. “They are sinning through questioning,” Driscoll preached."
When questioning authority is a sin, then the patriarch has the power to assfuck anybody in the organization.
37
I only shower if it's in a guest bathroom. If it's one a one bathroom apt/house, I pass.
38
I laughed out loud at the Sulk's latest. I've got a great picture in my head of Dan Savage as Andy Rooney right now, and no I don't feel like letting it go!!!!
39
Driscoll is more mainstream than you may think. He is a Calvinist, ie Presbyterian.
Actually, no, he's not. His level of Calvinism is what you commonly find in the Orthodox Presbyterian Church, which has roughly 27,000 members total. Yeah, the church has that shiny megachurch look and that new evangelical smell, but underneath it's more Reformed than most Presbyterians can stand.
And Presbyterian is Calvin in name only nowadays, at least in the PC(USA) and the EPC. The PCA is a mix, and they're about trying to balance their fundamentalism with the Reformed movement, which actually don't mix all that well, since Reformed is a Calvinist tradition and Christian fundamentalism originally in churches that believe in free will.
But more to the point, I lost $5 because I had Dan's 1000 word anti-Driscoll screed predicted to be up by noon. Damn you.
It's a great article, written by someone who actually understands what's going on and unpacks it one nesting doll at a time. Every time you think you have the money quote, you spot a better line in the next paragraph.
Actually, no, he's not. His level of Calvinism is what you commonly find in the Orthodox Presbyterian Church, which has roughly 27,000 members total. Yeah, the church has that shiny megachurch look and that new evangelical smell, but underneath it's more Reformed than most Presbyterians can stand.
And Presbyterian is Calvin in name only nowadays, at least in the PC(USA) and the EPC. The PCA is a mix, and they're about trying to balance their fundamentalism with the Reformed movement, which actually don't mix all that well, since Reformed is a Calvinist tradition and Christian fundamentalism originally in churches that believe in free will.
But more to the point, I lost $5 because I had Dan's 1000 word anti-Driscoll screed predicted to be up by noon. Damn you.
It's a great article, written by someone who actually understands what's going on and unpacks it one nesting doll at a time. Every time you think you have the money quote, you spot a better line in the next paragraph.
40
I don't shower, but I rub my unwashed smelly bits with the towel. Then I very carefully refold it to look exactly the same and tell the host it doesn't need to be washed before their next guest.
41
@40
I'm so glad to know I have a kindred spirit out there, because I just re-fold the used guest towels after they dry and leave them for the next guest to use. Saves a lot on laundry bills.
I'd shower less, but I get pillow hair something fierce. It won't settle back into acceptable repose without being doused.
I'm so glad to know I have a kindred spirit out there, because I just re-fold the used guest towels after they dry and leave them for the next guest to use. Saves a lot on laundry bills.
I'd shower less, but I get pillow hair something fierce. It won't settle back into acceptable repose without being doused.
42
the article was ok, but seemed like its main definition of calvinism was "being mean and controlling and authoritarian." which defines mark driscoll, definitely, but i think most calvinist denominations have moved beyond that.
i'm sure driscoll is just thrilled to have the press.
i'm sure driscoll is just thrilled to have the press.
43
@23:
Chandler: "Soap is soap. It's self-cleaning."
Joey: "Yeah, but think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash."
Chandler: "Soap is soap. It's self-cleaning."
Joey: "Yeah, but think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash."
44
Paul Hill was a member of the orthodox presbyterian church. who he, you say? he murdered an abortion doctor in florida in the '90s, and was executed by the state for said crime.
45
Mars Hill purports to be different than other evangelical churches, but it is the same as they are.
All evangelical churches appeal to those who need someone to give them guidance in life and cannot figure life out for themselves.
For example, men who cannot figure out women go to evangelical churches which give them a black-and-white, easy-to-understand and male-ego-flatterng rule: the husband rules the wife.
Whether "chickified" like other evangelical churches, or balls-ified as Mars Hill fashions itself, evangelical churches will always exist in the United States to help weak-minded people figure out the most basic shit of life that they cannot, for some reason, seem to ever figure out for themselves.
John Calvin would agree: God made these people weak-minded and God made Mark Driscoll a short-sighted fool who is preparing his own idiotic downfall.
All evangelical churches appeal to those who need someone to give them guidance in life and cannot figure life out for themselves.
For example, men who cannot figure out women go to evangelical churches which give them a black-and-white, easy-to-understand and male-ego-flatterng rule: the husband rules the wife.
Whether "chickified" like other evangelical churches, or balls-ified as Mars Hill fashions itself, evangelical churches will always exist in the United States to help weak-minded people figure out the most basic shit of life that they cannot, for some reason, seem to ever figure out for themselves.
John Calvin would agree: God made these people weak-minded and God made Mark Driscoll a short-sighted fool who is preparing his own idiotic downfall.
46
I'm kinda disappointed that Mark never comes right out and says it: he thinks Jesus was a fag.
47
I wander if Driscoll recognizes the irony that Jesus was constantly questioning the authority and the cultural attitudes of the times. He was making the ruling Roman governor nervous and he was making other Jews nervous. He was saying that stoning wasn't a good idea, he was hanging with loose women, the poor, the unpopular, the sick and all the other misfts.
Jesus was the kind of guy that Driscoll would hate.
Jesus was the kind of guy that Driscoll would hate.
48
@10 Dan doesn't speak with his hosts because he is trying to avoid confrontation . . . and by confrontation I mean "any human contact"*. A distressingly common Seattle-specific behavior pattern.
* quoted from a 2008 SLOG post - too lazy to try to find it right now.
* quoted from a 2008 SLOG post - too lazy to try to find it right now.
49
Mark Driscoll is just doing the one thing I have come to realize about straight men that rant and rave so: compensating for their small penises.
50
Are you hoping your guests will read this before they come and eschew a shower for themselves? By posting this you have all but told them to their faces that you think it is unneccessary. Of course, since they are traveling they may not see it until later. If they do take a shower and then read this after they will probably have very mixed feelings.
51
I'm married to a foreigner and we live in a different state than my relatives. We get a lot of company (in total 16 weeks of guests in 2008, 12 weeks with guests in 2007). My local friends call it a B&B and tease that they want to book a week.
I've learned some people shower, others don't. Some people shower more than once a day (if, for example we have been to the beach or in NYC). I only offer a clean towel if guests stay a week, or are really dirty ;-)
In the end, you still have to strip the bed and wash the sheets. After that towels are a breeze...
I've learned some people shower, others don't. Some people shower more than once a day (if, for example we have been to the beach or in NYC). I only offer a clean towel if guests stay a week, or are really dirty ;-)
In the end, you still have to strip the bed and wash the sheets. After that towels are a breeze...
52
Oops - I meant to say: ALL GUESTS get clean towels when they arrive. I only change their towels if they stay a week (or are dirty)... sorry for the double post.
53
That's so "Seattle" and grunge of you Dan.
I think people that don't feel the need to shower at least once a day are gross.
YECH!
I think people that don't feel the need to shower at least once a day are gross.
YECH!
54
#30:
Showering daily is , in most cases unnecessary.One can wash daily, private parts, face,hands, and be good to go. If we all re-adjusted think of all the water we'd save. Only 30 years ago, ( yes there were indoor facilities) the norm was to shower on saturdays. that was it!"
Where the hell did you live 30 years ago? Haiti?
I lived in the freaking Ozarks then, and we showered daily.
Maybe your parents didn't have good hygiene?
55
@53
It is feasible to shower at 10:00 AM on Friday morning in Seattle and then again at 10:00 AM on Saturday morning in Seattle, while having spent Friday night in Portland. Thus, showering at least once a day.
It is feasible to shower at 10:00 AM on Friday morning in Seattle and then again at 10:00 AM on Saturday morning in Seattle, while having spent Friday night in Portland. Thus, showering at least once a day.
Most Commented on Slog
-
Fort Worth Police Chief: That Faggot Had It Coming by Dan Savage
-
Defense Of Marriage Asshole by Dan Savage
-
Delightful Damage by Charles Mudede
-
Palin to Step Down as Governor by Lindy West
-
Things Come In Threes by Dan Savage
-
I'm Pretty Busy Murdering Arthouse Cinema With My Bare Hands at the Moment... by Lindy West
-
Summer In The City by Dan Savage
-
Re: Palin to Step Down as Governor by Eli Sanders
-
Shirt Lifter by Dan Savage
-
Wailin' For Palin by Paul Constant
RSS
Facebook
Twitter
Comments (55) RSS