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Thursday, January 8, 2009

News The Morning News

Posted by David Schmader on Thu, Jan 8, 2009 at 8:26 AM

The Great Flood of 2009 (So Far): Western Washington flood waters close parts of I-5, force evacuation of 40,000 residents.

Meanwhile, Spokane Still Suffering Through Crazy-Making Snow: Which has inspired at least one citizen to open fire on a snow plow operator.

The Future is Featherweight: Sony preps for release of pound-and-a-half personal computer.

Boss Hogg Lives: Alabama sheriff arrested for failing to feed inmates while pocketing over $200,000 in would-be "meal money."

For Richer, For Poorer: While a Detroit elementary school makes a public plea for light bulbs and toilet paper, report shows Chicago Public Schools spent $67,000 on cappuccino machines.

"Excuse Me, I Know I Am a Mule, But I'm Here to Alert You That Your House is on Fire": Mule alerts woman to house on fire.

Donna Martin Graduates, Goes Back for More: Tori Spelling to return to 90210.

Finally, Morning News Hiphop Week(TM) continues with a tribute to the greatest duo in hiphop history. Move over, Black Star, Gang Starr, and Pete Rock and CL Smooth—you can't compete with the pairing of money-hungry rappers and the Addams Family film franchise.

Here's MC Hammer's "Addams Family Groove":

And here's Tag Team's (great, great, GREAT) "Addams Family (Whoomp)":

Comments (10) RSS

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Without Kano there would be no Tag Team

Posted by I'm Ready on January 8, 2009 at 8:35 AM

I'm not sure what this says about me, but I until I read the actual story, I honestly thought that the mule that alerted a woman about the fire was a drug mule. You know, the heroin-in-a-condom-up-my-ass kind.

I thought, "Well, just because someone has heroin up their ass, doesn't mean they don't have basic human decency."

Posted by Indy on January 8, 2009 at 8:38 AM

What a crazy year in the Puget Sound, right?

First snow...then rain. It's not like these things will happen every year.

Posted by Hippie Dippie Weatherman on January 8, 2009 at 8:46 AM

Awww - that woman's father bought her the mule to help around the farm.

Posted by Patti on January 8, 2009 at 8:48 AM

David Schmader give MC Hammer vial of crack, MC Hammer smoke crack, think to self, "maybe I'm not a mediocre raised-in-the-burbs mullato dork who should never have picked up a mike, maybe I am in fact the greatest hip-hop MC ever, maybe...," freak out, Chuck D out, MC HAMMER, IN HIS OWN CRACK-DELUDED MIND, BECOME CHUCK D!

MC HAMMER WILL SMOKE ENTIRE CONTENTS OF VIAL OF SCHMAY-DAWG CRACK, MAKE WORST ALLEGED HIP-HOP CUT EVER!

And no, I don't feel like letting it go.

Posted by The Incredible Sulk on January 8, 2009 at 8:53 AM

Re: Spokane shooting

This reminds me of that Michigan joke about the new couple moving to Michigan and dealing with the winter there.

http://www.bdwilliams.com/JOKES/regional…

Posted by TheMisanthrope on January 8, 2009 at 9:23 AM

My favorite part about the cappuccino machine story: the schools didn't use them because they "weren't prepared to implement them into the curriculum." School board apparatchiks are the last people in the word who should be in charge of education.

Posted by chris in vt on January 8, 2009 at 9:40 AM

*world

Posted by chris in vt on January 8, 2009 at 9:43 AM

Shoot, the espresso machines at my school were probably the best money-making investment ever made. Thank you, Diane, for making your delicious triple-grande lattes for me every day. Best use of baby-sitting money ever (for help staying awake in calculus, of course).

Posted by lily on January 8, 2009 at 10:54 AM

Uneven funding of schools, leading to some districts blowing money on luxuries while others underpay teachers and go without basic maintenance and books, is an outrage and a scandal. I remember the suburban district where I went to school built a great big new pool complex while I was there. It was a great pool, and we got to kayak and scuba dive in it, but I would have much preferred to see that money go to the underfunded city schools only a few miles away.

Posted by east coaster on January 8, 2009 at 12:23 PM