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Monday, January 5, 2009

Mailbag Hellbound

Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Mon, Jan 5, 2009 at 3:37 PM

Hi there,

I opened the Stranger newspaper bin this morning to grab some light reading for my first workday commute of the year. I found a colorful copy of The Watchtower instead of the colorful copy of The Stranger that I expected.

No biggie, though—it's all the same to me; I'll read just about anything during my morning ride on the #255 to downtown.

But the contrast between the anticipated sinful reading and the sixth grade-level material that the Jehovah fairies placed in your distribution bin does raise an intriguing question: How would the writers of The Stranger address this sizzling topic? Should readers of The Stranger fear Hell, too? Or is Hell a matter best reserved for incidental readers of The Watchtower? Perhaps The Stranger's writers would admonish those fearful of Hell instead to be fearful of ignorance and/or sexual repression. Really, what is "Hell"? It seems to me that The Watchtower totally scooped The Stranger on this one.

I patiently await the special Going to Hell Issue of The Stranger.

C.

Dear C.,

Every issue of The Stranger is the Going to Hell Issue (especially this one). Thank you for writing!

Very best,
The Stranger

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This deserves retaliation.

Posted by Sirkowski on January 5, 2009 at 3:44 PM

"Should You Fear Hell?" reminds me of all those Time magazine covers where the text asks a question and the picture provides the answer you're supposed to give. In fact, substitute "terrorism" for "hell" and include a picture of a ticking bomb and I'm pretty sure I remember that cover.

I

Posted by flamingbanjo on January 5, 2009 at 3:54 PM

If you're nice to them when they knock on your door one time, and don't tell them to go to hell, they keep coming back and trying to convert you.

Seriously.

Posted by Will in Seattle on January 5, 2009 at 5:24 PM

Ten years ago, there was an old man downtown who used to empty the Stranger's bins into nearby trash cans. He caught me looking at him and mumbled something about goodness.

Posted by Amelia on January 5, 2009 at 5:58 PM

Didn't Dan promise us a religion column writer a while back? I could be on crack, though.

Posted by um, um on January 5, 2009 at 6:16 PM

It can't be worse than eight years of Bush!

Posted by Vince on January 6, 2009 at 6:48 AM

They don't believe in Hell. Just so you know.

Posted by Tiz on January 6, 2009 at 8:56 PM