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Friday, January 2, 2009

Life Today in Feces

Posted by Lindy West on Fri, Jan 2, 2009 at 2:11 PM

I should really set up a Google Alert for "feces." Or maybe "covered in feces."

Man Covered In Feces Attacks Flight Attendant

Passengers said the man left the plane's bathroom covered in his own waste on the Dec. 26 flight.

The commuter jet had one flight attendant, who moved passengers forward to empty seats and kept the unkempt passenger in the back row.

Stacey, a passenger on the plane who requested her last name not be revealed, said the man attacked the flight attendant.

"I hear all of this ruckus and yelling," she said. "I turned around and the poor flight attendant is on his back and the guy is, like, punching him."

Stacey said other passengers came to the flight attendant's aid.

"It's almost like a scene out of a movie," Stacey said.

Yes. Almost like Air Force Feces. Snakes (and Feces) on a Plane. Soul Plane 2: It's Feces Time, Son!.

Also, I would like to point out the accompanying weird, blurry photograph of the exterior of a plane. Is it the actual feces plane? Amazing.

Thanks, Melissa & Meags

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Comments (19) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment

I love how you don't even try to post anything intelligent.

Posted by Jen on January 2, 2009 at 2:28 PM

People who diss Lindy West's deliberately dorky and fun posts are losers. More, Lindy!

Posted by leek on January 2, 2009 at 2:37 PM

So many missing details ...

Was the man covered in shit because the lavatory malfunctioned? Or, did he just go insane and have a shit smearing outburst?

Because, if it was the lavatory's fault, and the flight attendant was less than sympathetic (or even accusatory), then he might have deserved to get punched.

Posted by Mahtli69 on January 2, 2009 at 2:37 PM

@3,

An investigation is under way to figure out why a mental health patient was traveling alone on a Continental Airlines flight from Houston to Omaha...

I'm thinking the feces smearing was intentional.

Posted by keshmeshi on January 2, 2009 at 2:51 PM

What were baby mice doing on a plane?

Posted by Grant Cogswell on January 2, 2009 at 2:52 PM

This was fun.

But what if the toilet exploded on him ... if that happened to me, I'd be pretty darned angry ...

Posted by Will in Seattle on January 2, 2009 at 2:52 PM

Part of the safety demonstration before takeoff should include information on the best marshal arts technique to immobilized an irate passenger. Of course hand-to-hand combat know-how doesn't necessarily instill the courage to confront the Poo Monster, but the skies would at least be safe from Peter Buck's and Nichole Richie's.

Posted by Dougsf on January 2, 2009 at 2:58 PM

Maybe this guy really, really enjoyed Slumdog Millionaire?

Posted by Sam M. on January 2, 2009 at 3:01 PM

@1, get over it. If you're so highbrow, go read something else.

Posted by JJ on January 2, 2009 at 3:27 PM

You know, for the new year, I promised not to correct incorrectly spelled words like "martial", @7.

But Sam M for the win @8.

Posted by Will in Seattle on January 2, 2009 at 3:37 PM

#10 - No, no, no, I see where you got confused. I'm not speaking of Karate or Kung Fu, but rather the deadly techniques developed by the eponymous Penny Marshal after she experienced numerous forced entries into her Milwaukee first floor apartment by greasy, and horny, street toughs.

Posted by Dougsf on January 2, 2009 at 3:45 PM

Didn't Danny Boyle do a toilet scene in Trainspotting too? I haven't seen the Millionaire movie yet.

Posted by InoHurryforCurry on January 2, 2009 at 3:49 PM

One more reason I despise flying.

Posted by Urgutha Forka on January 2, 2009 at 3:57 PM

You'd have to be mentally ill to be visiting Omaha. Even crazier to actually live there.

Posted by Tatty, sinister, provincial backwater of a town on January 2, 2009 at 3:58 PM

I don't know what to say.

Posted by Justa Guy on January 2, 2009 at 4:27 PM

oh, never mind then, @11.

Posted by Will in Seattle on January 2, 2009 at 4:40 PM

The MS Paint skills is strong in this one...