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Friday, January 2, 2009

Life According to the Old Mayan's Alamanc...

Posted by Brendan Kiley on Fri, Jan 2, 2009 at 12:10 PM

...today is a good day to:

Run into the jungle, smite a stranger, drag him back to your jungle city, haul him up a pyramid, cut out his heart in front of the assembled multitude, and burn it in a sacred brazier; start projects; go camping.

Comments (17) RSS

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Is it ok if I do it in reverse order, with the sacrifice in 2012 when the sun dies?

Posted by Will in Seattle on January 2, 2009 at 12:22 PM

You know, I can't imagine a BAD day for those activities. Whatever Mayan soothsayers, I'm starting to think the expense of getting apocalypse insurance so close to the deadline just isn't going to pay off.

Posted by Dougsf on January 2, 2009 at 12:25 PM

Shit. I must be off a day. I was girding up to play the Mayan ball game, win, haul the losing team up a pyramid, cut out their hearts - burning them in a brazier, etc. Then I was going to return home and pluck a quetzal. But I guess I'll do that tomorrow.

Posted by kinaidos on January 2, 2009 at 12:27 PM

I loved that scene...it goes on for another 4-5 people, all killed the same way. Gibson is a madman.

Posted by schmacky on January 2, 2009 at 12:51 PM

OK I'm convinced -- we're not giving this continent back.

Posted by WhiteLiberal on January 2, 2009 at 12:58 PM

The 2012 Mayan prophecy thing is is a bunch of new age woo woo b.s.

http://skepdic.com/maya.html

Posted by Heather on January 2, 2009 at 1:06 PM

Mayans are not Aztecs.

Posted by Catman on January 2, 2009 at 1:06 PM

@ 7 No shit, shamrock. Mayans AND Aztecs ripped people's hearts out.

Posted by Poopoo Vuh on January 2, 2009 at 1:20 PM

Gross!

Posted by The Incas on January 2, 2009 at 1:23 PM

@4: If something's worth doing, it's worth overdoing.

Posted by NapoleonXIV on January 2, 2009 at 1:29 PM

They also cut their own tongues, hands, etc etc.

Posted by Will in Seattle on January 2, 2009 at 1:41 PM

Just another day in the New World...Can't we be more civilized and just drop bombs?

Posted by Sargon Bighorn on January 2, 2009 at 1:52 PM

Did anybody else read "sacred brassiere"?

Posted by seattle mike on January 2, 2009 at 1:53 PM

What? No bar-b-que?

Posted by Vince on January 2, 2009 at 4:45 PM

Today in the Mayan calendar is 11 B'aatz' 14 Q'anqiij of the year 5124. If you want to know the true significance of this day you would have to consult a Mayan daykeeper or spiritual guide (or some culture-appropriating New Age website). The Mayan new year, coincidentally, isn't for a few months yet. The Maya are not an archaeological relic, they are an indigenous people of the Americas and are the majority ethnicity in Guatemala and parts of southern Mexico, one which has survived 500 years of incredible colonial violence. Both the original premise of this post and some of the above comments seem rather short-sighted (this comment, on the other hand, is merely self-righteous). B'antyox, xik we.

Posted by Xilip on January 2, 2009 at 7:30 PM

P.S. Fuck Mel Gibson.

Posted by Xilip on January 2, 2009 at 7:31 PM

@16 try the fact that he bought the LAST remaining Art Cinema Chain in my country and I now have to not see a whole bag of great films so I don't accidentally fund his asshole projects.

http://news.theage.com.au/business/mel-g…

Posted by Malcolm in Sydney on January 4, 2009 at 3:59 PM