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Monday, December 29, 2008

Oh! What a Year!

Posted by on Mon, Dec 29, 2008 at 11:12 AM

mormon-underwear.jpg
The lds.org newsroom reflects on the year gone by in the Mormon Church:

It's been a year of nauseatingly high numbers:

Sometime during 2008 the 140 millionth copy of the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ was distributed, passing another milestone in the book’s history. Since it was first published in 1830, the Book of Mormon has been taken worldwide by over a million missionaries. It is currently available in 107 languages.

A year to celebrate tolerance that the church agreed to only under pressure from a world disgusted at their racism:


On 9 June 2008, thousands packed the Salt Lake Tabernacle to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the revelation in June 1978 to extend the lay priesthood to men of all races. Church leaders and members, including many who are African American, spoke to those attending the gathering. A video was also produced to celebrate the event.

And a year to celebrate the intolerance that much of the world still deems acceptable:

Recognizing the importance of marriage to society, the Church encouraged members in California and Arizona to support broad-based coalitions to define marriage as between and man and a woman. Both ballot measures passed in November.

Sadly, the blog post doesn't allow comments, so there's no way to leave my prediction for the Mormon Church in 2009: I predict that, in keeping with the Mormon Church's history, the LDS church will find new and disgusting ways to hate next year, and they will somehow retain their tax-free status even while they do it.

 

Comments (17) RSS

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1
black people still turn white when they go to Mormon heaven.
Posted by Non on December 29, 2008 at 11:23 AM
2
I predict that, some time during 2009, some very old, but very important, geezer in the Mormon Church will die. What's that? Too easy? Yeah, I know.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on December 29, 2008 at 11:25 AM
3
140 million mormon bibles... meh. I've personally throw 5 or 6 in the trash and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on December 29, 2008 at 11:30 AM
4
Mormons may be best prepared to weather a bad economy:

http://www.sltrib.com/homeandfamily/ci_1…

Posted by busy deseret bees on December 29, 2008 at 11:30 AM
5
I like those undies. I need a good dickpouch, my boys need structure or they will travel to places they should not go.
Posted by wisepunk on December 29, 2008 at 11:44 AM
6
Those magic undies must be magic, cuz they sure aren't sexy. I'm definitely NOT feeling it.
Posted by Carol on December 29, 2008 at 11:51 AM
7
just sayin' - some of those male version, not washed, with the good odor and right stains might sell for a lot on line - exotic to the max

they make fruit of the loom seem pedestrian and very common place, is that nylon?

oh, Mormons are supposed to wear under garments chosen by Dan and Company, and give up their unique niche ... don't think they will ... hope they don't, going to start looking on line to add to my collection

if the pouch tell us anything, Mormon guys are big balled and well hung ... any one know for sure?
Posted by Kyle on December 29, 2008 at 11:56 AM
8
The envy is palpable.
Mormons are organized and dedicated.
In California gays outnumber Mormons 10 to 1 but still they whipped you.
Every snarky tacky juvenile embarrassment that gets posted here highlights your self-doubt and sense of inferiority.
Why do you keep going back to relive the humiliation?
Posted by why? on December 29, 2008 at 12:11 PM
9
#8

in S and M, the M is real
Posted by Adam on December 29, 2008 at 1:06 PM
10
I think the gays need to co-opt the magic underpants and start wearing them ourselves...

esp. in porn.
Posted by michael strangeways on December 29, 2008 at 1:34 PM
11
Maybe if they came in rainbow colors ...
Posted by Will in Santa Barbara on December 29, 2008 at 3:16 PM
12
Do Mormon babies wear magic diapers? I mean, does their poop disappear? Maybe it goes to heaven. Oh, is there poop in Mormon heaven? Do you still need magic undies in heaven? Does magic God wear magic undies? How about magic Jesus? He's already magic so wouldn't magic underwear be redundant? Can you get magic tampons anywhere? How about magic Depends? So much magic in the world, so little time!
Posted by Vince on December 29, 2008 at 3:21 PM
13
3 that is very tree-friendly, cow.
Posted by Mooooooooooo! on December 29, 2008 at 3:30 PM
14
12
you shouldn't take the magic lightly, Vince.
it made gay marriage disappear in California, after all...
Posted by Houdini on December 29, 2008 at 3:33 PM
15
this is all so silly - so modest - so downscale Seattle - let's for just one minute conjure up an idea what the Pope, Yes, La Poppa - what he has under all those layers of fancy brocade, velvet, silk stitching and had made garb fabricated by enslaved nuns?

Think his shit and piss stained drawers are from Vaticak Wal Mart? I think not.

Who are the experts? This is getting fun -- what do Rick Warrens drawers, with piss stains, REALLY look like, panties? I bet, Victoria's Secret look out.

Since Cardinals are LESS than the Pope, do they get the same fancy ass wrappings? Or are theirs of necessity simple rayon or Made in China cotton?

And then, and then, this is surely Stranger level investigative reporting --- Anti Queer Religious Leaders and Their Underwear - The Stranger Reports from Down and Under.... Josh, get on it.

Some fun in the new year .....

And just what the hell does Phylis Shaffley wear under there?? I can't even guess at that ... tell us ladies, Lindy, Bethany, Erica?
Posted by Ed on December 29, 2008 at 4:50 PM
16
I dunno, I think those undies are kinda hawt.
Posted by breklor on December 30, 2008 at 10:39 AM
17
kyle the two mormons i have seen naked were very well endowed one's still got me dickmatized and i'm a married man (hooray for living in the uk). is this a mormon trait or was it just a fluke? who else out there has seen some mormon schlong...massive or not.
Posted by jon doe on January 16, 2009 at 4:56 PM

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